Kooky Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Not sure if i am posting this in the right place so forgive me if it is in the wrong category! We have just been granted our visa and have been discussing Australia (as a holiday really) more and more with our boys (aged 4&6). The little one recently actually asked if we could go and live there so we have gone from there really - discussing with them the benefits 'if' we did. We didn't want to say we were going until our visa was definate so have just tonight mentioned going to live as a possibility and our eldest has been really upset, crying and saying he doesn't want to go and leave grandma etc. He is pretty sensitive and doesn't like to try anything until he knows what it will be like (for example if we start a new group he will watch the first time and join the next - whereas the little one will try it out straight away no worries). anyone been through similar (or have any thoughts on how to handle it)? if so what did you do/say? All ideas very welcome - i will be devastated if we get to the point of moving and he is still really upset and not wanting to go! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Counting Stars Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Honestly... I wouldn't worry too much. Kids are very adaptable. We are an army family have moved often and every time the kids have adapted just fine. Explain to him that although they are far away the love will still be the same and he will be able to see her on Skype and call her etc. My 10 year old is really really sensitive and he's just fine after every move it doesn't take him long at all. Hope it all goes okay xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maruska Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I have my own 6 year old sensitive boy :biggrin:. We visited Australia last year and he loved it, so he is looking forward to go. However, he gets anxious when discussing school, saying " I don`t know the new kids` names and I`ll be shy when I see them", " what are the teachers` names, can Miss Tiffany come with us ". It needs a lot of reassurance at this age I guess ( my 3 years old is just fine and nothing seems to bother her). It`s hard I know but really, I believe he`ll be OK and will adjust fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laugan Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I remember telling my youngest, she was 9, and she burst out crying. At that point thou we had a rental house in place and a school so straight away showed her the house, her bedroom and school online which helped bring her round. She was fine after and now loves it here and has some great friends as does my older daughter who was 11 at the time we moved. I wouldn't worry either, your children are still young and will adapt very quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 We'd been here a year when my son asked if we were still on holiday - we just said, no we live here now, he said ok and carried on eating dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kooky Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 We'd been here a year when my son asked if we were still on holiday - we just said, no we live here now, he said ok and carried on eating dinner. ha ha maybe i should have done this!! :rolleyes: thanks everyone for your replies. I am not too worried about him being ok and adapting - i know he will be fine and once there will probably love it. I think it is more the here and now - it is horrible (as every parent knows) seeing your child distressed and feeling like you can't help them (i wish i could wave a magic wand and show him what it will be like). Its really useful hearing your stories of how you handled it - thanks (keep ideas coming please!). I am sure it'll all be ok - just wish i knew the exact right way to help him through the next few weeks :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I think just go with the flow - you know your kids. My daughter was 10 when we first started talking about it - she burst into tears and said we were making us leave her whole life behind (which we were), we talked to her, acknowledged her feelings, said it was something we were going to do and that being 10 she'd have to come with us, but we promised that we would tell her as we did things and that we would not move until she had completed her last year of primary school. We kept our promises - we didn't promise things we couldn't deliver, by the time we moved when she was 11 she was looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 We'd been here a year when my son asked if we were still on holiday - we just said, no we live here now, he said ok and carried on eating dinner. Bless him, that made me chuckle ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rammygirl Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Be honest, we all feel the same but as grown ups we (hopefully) are more in control. I am willing to bet you have the same sort of fears as your child, but you have more experience so deal with it differently. take it in small steps and be reassuring. You don't have to pretend it is a holiday, but until your own belongings arrive and you settle into a long term rental you can treat it as one. Do fun things and make sure they bring some favourite toys/cuddliest with them. As far as school goes there is no mad rush, take him with you to look at places you have short listed, if the school is any good they will have a policy for new arrivals a buddy system or something. there will be tears at some point but he will adapt. It is usually the parents who find it harder in the long run TBH, as long as the kids see you happy and coping they will be fine. Think yourself lucky they are so young, try bringing teenagers under duress, we did and had to return to the UK or split the family. We are however back in SA and it feels much better this time, one 20 year old with us and one 22 year old here for now but returning to the UK to do a PhD but wanting to keep his PR. the ages between 12 and 20 are definitely the hardest. They are so sure they know everything and are pushing their independence whilst trying to get to know themselves really, the last thing they want is someone else taking control and moving them across the world. ours made that abundantly clear! It cost a lot in cash and emotion for us to realise our dream (it was never our children's after all ) and get back to Oz and stay close to our kids. it was our last chance as we are now over 50 but so far so good. I don't expect them to stay in Oz forever but then I wouldn't have expected them to stay in the UK either, they are now adults (although still not self supporting just yet!) and need to make their own way in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kooky Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 thanks for the advice everyone, my boys are both now happy and excited about the news. the eldest did have a couple of 'this is the end of the world' moments but he is fine now ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Hi Kooky, We are similiar but looking to go back the other way. Our boys are 2 and 4 and were 1 and 3 when we came (only been here 1 year so far) This probably wont help you but we are missing family too much to make this a long term move, give it another year-18months sure, but once kids are school age and start to have real feelings (dont take that the wrong way, but i mean feelings that wont just pass with a new toy) we want to be near family. Grandparents, cousins and aunts.uncles are a big pull for us and we thought we would manage and we are...sort of...but dont want to forever. Your kids will be fine, there is enough in Aus to occupy them. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kooky Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Thanks Dan. I am sure they will be fine - kids are so adaptable and they are young enough I think. Good luck with the move back home. We are planning to give it a couple of years and if we are not happy will count our losses and move back - you don't know til you try do you? Certainly don want to look back and wonder what it would have been like and wish wed have gone - life's too short you have tried it and I am sure have had some fabulous experiences and now you know where you want to be. Good luck, hope it all works our for you ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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