docboat Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Not something i cba debating for any length of time Doc,but just going on posts from people on here who have been in aus for years,and they openly say they still miss things about the UK,yet they're still "overall" happier in aus,i dont think migrating is as black and white as that,just saying like for sure Pablo, quite agree. I see the OP has got her visa though, but I hope she has a look at the big picture. IMO though, the mental attitude to - well, life in general I suppose, is key. If you emigrate with a mindset which already shrieks "loss" then you are unlikely to settle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 for sure Pablo, quite agree. I see the OP has got her visa though, but I hope she has a look at the big picture. IMO though, the mental attitude to - well, life in general I suppose, is key. If you emigrate with a mindset which already shrieks "loss" then you are unlikely to settle. No,i understand what you're saying Doc,that if you're really positive over the move,and fairly certain you're going to "succeed" over there you have a much better chance of that coming to fruition,"but" ive seen plenty on here 100% certain they will love it over there,and sadly for them that hasn't been their reality,for "me",realistic expectations and a degree of cynicism prepare me for any curve balls life might throw at me,stops me being too disappointed when hard times happen,and there's every chance that could happen when migrating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursesam Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 So, if you know her family well, see if you can't arrange a surprise facetime into the speeches. Things like that are awesome at weddings. That's a great idea thank you :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think its very reasonable to assume that you are going to miss things and especially people. To convince yourself you're not would cause a bigger problem i would say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursesam Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 You're right! Its inevitable to miss people unless you have no friends or family that you care about! You can't say that those who will miss their friends and family in the UK will make unsuccessful migrants as that would be the large majority of migrants! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooty Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 So having a few ups and downs... I know now it's hard we did it in our retirement when my Mum was old and our son and granddaughters were/are not coming, and it was and is hard but you must follow your dreams if you wait for everyone you love to pass on you will be too old and the opportunity might not be there. We we decided to do it for a 5 year experiment and just see how it went but after just a few months we knew we had made the right decision but it will always be difficult for you with your loved ones in the UK but better to have followed your dreams while you can rather live with the thoughts what if. You are still young and life is for living. Our children who came out here as well have done far better in their careers than if they had stayed in the UK if you are prepared to work hard the opportunities are good. We we have now been here 5 years have just received our permanent visa and have gained 3 grandsons with a granddaughter on the way. Follow your dreams. Good luck Sooty. We decided to move to Oz last April. At the time everyone was well, not a lot was happening really and my husband and I have no kids yet and are only renting so thought let's do this while we can... So got started on the applications and submitted our EOI end of November and application at the beginning of December. Got a bit excited about it all and we've booked flights to go in August. After, we found out... My dad has skin cancer (should be nothing to worry about and moles will just be removed but still quite scary) My best friend (since I was 5!) is getting married in March 2015 - we will only have been in Australia for 7 months and she wants us to come back for it and she wants me to be a bridesmaid. We really want to as well but realistically I don't think we can afford to so soon and I can't guarantee we'll get the time off work - we haven't even got jobs yet it's stupid to think we'll get over two weeks off! It probably would have been different if we'd been there over a year. Out of all my friends and family she has taken the news of us leaving the worst and this was before she got engaged! So far I've told her we'll try to come back but do I tell her that we probably can't or just keep giving her false hope?! On top of that, there is a possibility my 87 year old grandad had prostate cancer... he's waiting more tests to confirm it but I know he'll give up if it is that. He's getting more and more frail and although we have a big family who will support my granny I'd feel awful leaving my mum, she'll be devastated. And more recently my dad, as well as his skin problems, now had been getting the feeling of a lump in his throat/oesophagus so he's been to the doctors and had blood tests and is waiting for a camera test to have a look. Cant help but think the worst... We should have our visas granted in the next few weeks everything is nearly done - we've done medicals got a case officer so not long to wait. And up until we actually submitted our application everyone was well and no one was getting married. Now suddenly when we've nearly reached our dream it all goes wrong. We still want to go so badly but I don't know what to do. I guess we have to wait for everyone's test results but it's horrible feeling so excited one minute then devasted the next! Hmmm! Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated :-) and if none can be offered, thank you for reading. Sam xx xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 You're right! Its inevitable to miss people unless you have no friends or family that you care about! You can't say that those who will miss their friends and family in the UK will make unsuccessful migrants as that would be the large majority of migrants! Yes that is true but I do think a lot hangs on the number of people you leave behind. .ie is it a brother who lives 2 hours away who you see once a year and a few mates who are not life long besties or is it a network of yours and his close and extended family plus some fantastic friends. I see the former group pining for what is lost MUCH less. It is s fact that missing family and friends is the biggest reason people go back. I don't think you appreciate the loss fullytill you've been here a good while and maybe been back a time or two. You tend to minimize what you're leaving on emigration. .only natural or you'd never leave! It is an important consideration though as people are what complete us in many cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I think its very reasonable to assume that you are going to miss things and especially people. To convince yourself you're not would cause a bigger problem i would say Strange as it may seem I don't think I've missed anyone or anything. We lived about 1.5 hours away from my Mum and Dad and about the same from my Sister BIL and nieces. We had got out of the habit of going to see them very much and when we did it was a special occasion. My Mum and Dad and my wife's have been over on longish visits, month, 6 weeks so all up we've probably spent more time with them than if we had stayed in the UK. No easy time I might add as we were all stuck under the same roof. Nice to see visitors come but nice to see them go home too. I don't know that it's being selfish? Maybe we are but it sounds such a bad word. More like my wife had moved away from home at 16, into nurses quarters and her one stint back at home, made her realise she could live without seeing her parents very often. I guess I am a fairly typical guy, I think women miss people and places and maybe feel a bit guilty about what the kids are missing out on. Guys in general don't give it much thought and just get on with life. Especially if Aus suits you and it's everything you expected. Doesn't mean that we don't care about any of them, or love them any less btw. We went back for my nieces wedding last August - September and we enjoyed it no-end. Seeing everyone was great and it was the first time we had really had a look round where my Sister and Nieces lives. She moved to Melton Mowbray years ago, along with my nieces and she's managed to get my parents to move there too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatW Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 We emigrated because we didn't want to go through life with a 'what if ...' and although there are still times when I miss people, or places, or being able to pop in to various UK genealogy places (!) Brisbane is home and we wanted to give our son a better life and we believe he has got it here. Thank goodness for Skype and emails! Good luck with your dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docboat Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 We emigrated because we didn't want to go through life with a 'what if ...' and although there are still times when I miss people, or places, or being able to pop in to various UK genealogy places (!) Brisbane is home and we wanted to give our son a better life and we believe he has got it here. Thank goodness for Skype and emails! Good luck with your dreams. Genealogy - yes. I subscribe to ancestry.com.au with access to all sites, and use the Scotlands People site to research births, deaths and marriages. Loved Register House on Princes St for the sheer convenience - spent 2 days there last year. Much more online, but I cannot get access to parish registers or visit local historical archives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miw54 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi Nurseam You have received a lot of down to earth sensible replies and the fact is, most people are torn when faced with the decision of where to be. However, as a ping pong pom, I always say nothing is for ever and my philosophy is that it is better to regret doing something than regret not doing it. Why don't you look on it as an adventure - you really can always come back. Oz is wonderful and although I am currently in the UK and have been back and forth several times (mainly on account of family matters), and probably somewhat less financially well off than I could have been if I'd have stayed put - I would not have missed the Oz experience for anything. I love the place. Good luck and go with your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
footballnotsoccer Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 You obviously haven't thought through emigrating that well. I'd be having a serious think about the reality and whether or not you should continue... Hi Coventry, hope you don'y mind me pointing out that she didn't say she was emigrating..!!! ""QUOTE"" We decided to move to Oz last April.""QUOTE"" Emigrating seems like a never return decision to me, I hate it, go to oz..pop back to see friends and family...no worries..stay positive Cheers, FNS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.