Chortlepuss Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 6 weeks back after 5 months in the UK. I came back to be with my hubby and kids and have agreed to another year here so the youngest can finish year 12. I had a contract with my old employer in the UK, slotted straight back in and loved being in the workplace again, great collaborative workmates and an excellent manager - They encouraged me to stay on a more permanent basis. I have skills in demand in the UK. I have worked in skilled positions for 20+ years (ICT), enjoyed great career progression and earned a reasonable salary. Before I left for the UK 5 months ago I was so depressed in Brisbane. We lived in a horrible slum of a house, were short of money and we have very few friends (doesn't bother hubby but does me). I had a number of interviews in Brisbane that made me never want to work here again. I could probably get work in Melbourne or Sydney, but if I was to leave my family, I might as well be back in the UK and I have promised to be around... My depression lifted the moment I was back home in the UK with friends, family and the stimulation of meaningful work. I hardly watched telly, was always out and about and fitted 3 holidays with friends in whilst I was there. My UK house was in excellent condition, as we have refurbished it and I couldn't believe how lovely it was compared to an Australian rental!.... Back in Brisbane I am crawling the walls with just housework to do, and visits to the gym. We have moved to a lovely house (my hubby did this to encourage me to return and I am really touched as it was a big gesture for him) and I know people in the UK would be envious of the pool/sunshine etc., but I'm just so bored. I have made some nice acquaintances in Brisbane (no close friends) but these are corporate types who depress me by saying things like 'lucky you, I wish I was unemployed' or asking 'why can't you get a job?' Hubby is a low earner so we have about 6 months left before having to bring savings over from the UK. I know I am lucky to have a safety net, but it seems so pointless. My husband and eldest child absolutely love it here and I do feel guilty about the thought of moving them back. My youngest kid would move back tomorrow. So.. whinge over, many of you on this board would have had to do your time like me - I have only been here for 7 years, 5 of which were excellent. There are some parts of Oz that I enjoy (flora, fauna etc.) I need to be more patient but struggling.... I've read of many who have done longer before being able to return to the UK ...... I have at least 12 months to go and am trying to stay positive, could you share what you did to make the time pass?..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Hey Chortle, 7 years!!!! I've only been here 31months and 8 days and I already had enough, so well done on surviving this dump for that long! Well not sure if I can help much with ideas on how to pass the time as I've had exactly the same expeirence as you. I went home for work 9 weeks after being moved here and that was great as I had hated every second of it. Then last year I went home for 4 weeks and as soon as I was hoem I felt so much better, it was rather scary when, whilst driving to the gym I said to mysel, "I feel different" and I realised it was because I was happy instead of depressed! That stay was extended to 6.2 months as 2 days before flying back to Hades mu Mum was diagnosed with cancer and given 12 weeks to live, not the best news as you can imaginee but at least I got to be with her until the end. But as bad as this sounds I was happier during this time than I generally am here, because dispite all the horrendous stuff that was going on I mad sure I still met friends and family and went out running in the woods and mountain biking, surfing, gym with friends etc. I was offered 1 job and 2 interviews whilst there, I only applied for 2 jobs and the one I took was out of the blue from a previous employer, bit different to here! So good luck with the count down, try to go on a few trips away, Tasmania is really nice, New Zealand is also very pretty, terrible for snowboarding tho, tiny runs and the most expencive lift passes I've ever had. Good luck J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simmo Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I hope all you lot finally get home soon:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Situational depression is a bugger isn't it? Hmm what to do to make the time go? First, make a date, a real life, set in concrete date that you can put a ring around on a calendar (just knowing it was there always made me feel better) then you can tick off the days, make lists and generally get organized. Can you do a course on something that floats your boat perhaps? I delved into my family history and spent many happy hours on the computer being in the rest of the world sorting out the jigsaw puzzle that had no picture and no edge pieces that was my family tree. Volunteering always helps - putting something back into the community gets you out there and doing - I'd suggest Lifeline as a counsellor but you wouldn't be able to commit after training so maybe something that doesn't require much training eg school volunteer. I do know what you mean about the depression magically lifting - it's an amazing feeling isn't it? But you can mask it - personally I'm a fan of CBT strategies and engaging with something like https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome can be really good. Another technique is ACT but I'm not so much of a mindfulness person http://www.thehappinesstrap.com has some good resources. Hang in there, the time will pass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I know how you feel and the situation you are in. I would move back tomorrow, but my wife loves it in Oz - i think it is mainly the weather as she was born and grew up in a warm climate and when she moved to the UK aged 16, never got used to the colder climate. So, here i am in Oz. A billy no mates, but with a happy wife. We are lucky and have always had a nice house in Oz - 3x the size of what we had in the UK with a pool and next to the beach. In the UK we lived in a slighty rough (red light area) of Leicester in a little terraced house. But, i would go back to that tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Hope you can find something to make the time pass quickly. We are working on a similar time frame to you, pending job availability back in the UK. I have my pregnancy to keep me occupied but at times it feels like the baby is trapping me here. But it makes so much more sense for me to continue work here until baby comes as we have calculated that by the time I give up work we will have just paid off the UK mortgage (almost to the week so I hope nothing crazy happens). We are both a bit fed up at work due to various reasons and I could easily go home tomorrow given the opportunity. I have just spent 5 days in Perth having a nice break, seeing some friends and getting some shopping in. My partner flew back separately for work but I drove home yesterday. For 6 hours I was fine until I got into the Kalgoorlie town limits, when I promptly started to cry! Probably mainly due to hormones and partly due to feeling a bit trapped here. I hold nothing against Kalgoorlie itself, I criticise it for the same things I criticise most places in Australia. But yes, life is boring here. Can't wait to take my baby back to the UK where they can grow up with cousins an the rest of the family nearby (they will have a cousin 7 months older). I have the birth date to tick off the days until, after that it's a case of job hunting in the UK. Recently I have told a lot of friends and family that I'm pregnant. The first thing they ask is 'when are you coming back then?'. Makes me sad. I know we are perfectly free to move right now if we really want to, but it feels like we are so close to achieving one of our ambitions when we moved here (to pay off the UK mortgage), so we're going to try and stick it out. It should, in theory, be worth it in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted October 29, 2013 Author Share Posted October 29, 2013 I know how you feel and the situation you are in.I would move back tomorrow, but my wife loves it in Oz - i think it is mainly the weather as she was born and grew up in a warm climate and when she moved to the UK aged 16, never got used to the colder climate. So, here i am in Oz. A billy no mates, but with a happy wife. We are lucky and have always had a nice house in Oz - 3x the size of what we had in the UK with a pool and next to the beach. In the UK we lived in a slighty rough (red light area) of Leicester in a little terraced house. But, i would go back to that tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your replies.... I have registered with a volunteer agency and will look at on line training - there may even be a possibility of working remotely for my employer. I am lucky that, although not flush, we have savings to carry us through and the UK mortgage is paid off next year. Just a bit impatient that's all. I may need to choose between my own wellbeing and having a happy husband. He has a great job that he loves, and really enjoys the climate here. It is a shame he doesn't earn more to enable him to do stuff he would love (like owning a boat etc) and I do feel super guilty for bringing everyone over and then wanting to go home. But even if hubby was a high earner and we were living it up, I think the pull of Sussex and particularly Europe is too great... and to be fair we came over on a 457 initially never intending to stay.... We now are citizens so if we ever feel the need to return or if circumstances change we can do so. Good luck to everyone wanting to head back and Quoll, ta for your inspirational posts ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryng67 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 oh how i know the feeling "billy no mates" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 Our visa runs out Aug 2015 and despite jumping through hoops it won't go further (looong story). We are now starting to talk more seriously about planning a return, I don't want to stay here anyway and have disliked it since I arrived and now have situational depression. It makes complete sense for us to get out, but the forthcoming period of struggling all over again and fear of being unemployed quite literally makes me shake with fear.... So, although I know I have hard times to come, I am trying to use our last period in Oz to full advantage, saving when I can, enjoying things when I can, thinking what I need to sell etc maybe get a weekend away here or there if I can, it will help make the time pass. No idea where I will be in 12-18 months time or how life will work out, but I am looking forward to feeling alive again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 I must admit I found once the decision was made to leave the time flew by - I never hated Australia, my life there just wasn't as good as my life here but there were things I did like - I actually got on very well at work (also ICT) and the lack of expertise in my field in Perth meant rapid promotion & I was a bit of a local celeb in my field LOL. I never made good friends though I think I missed opportunities and towards the end there was a few people I opened up to who I think could have been good friends - i was just too busy coping with the crap life threw at us there. Anyway my OH was desperate to leave but I took the view we'd done 4 years so why make it stressful on ourselves - we made the decision in July 2011 and moved back exactly a year later - we had a lot to achieve in that time and planned it like any project (I even had an MSP plan with milestones and dependencies - sad but true!) I think once we were in count-down mode it was much easier and we made the most of each of our 'lasts' in Australia. (Or when it came to Christmas thanked god it was the last) I came up with a 'bucket list' which had far more than could be achieved in a year but planning to do as much as we could helped - even if in the end we had so much we 'had' to do there was not much of what we would have 'liked' to do achieved. I never did get to snow board in Australia which is ironic really because that was how our journey to Australia all started!! It will pass and once home it recedes very quickly into nothing more than a memory - it is just a neutral feeling, I know it happened to me and I lived there but it means nothing at all. Music has always been my saviour and this song got played a lot in my last year... Went to see them play live in Glasgow recently with my OH and son and the tears were rolling down my face - I'd reached my destination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I know how you feel and the situation you are in.I would move back tomorrow, but my wife loves it in Oz - i think it is mainly the weather as she was born and grew up in a warm climate and when she moved to the UK aged 16, never got used to the colder climate. So, here i am in Oz. A billy no mates, but with a happy wife. We are lucky and have always had a nice house in Oz - 3x the size of what we had in the UK with a pool and next to the beach. In the UK we lived in a slighty rough (red light area) of Leicester in a little terraced house. But, i would go back to that tomorrow. Loving your description of the Highfields area of Leicester. I lived there in the early 90 ies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Chortlepuss I have been in Brisbane for 10 years and also have to wait 12 months to move back to the UK. I love many things about Australia and will miss my friends here terribly but I just want to be back "home" now. My DH feels, like you, that his friends here are more like acquaintances and he can't wait to get back to his proper mates. He is in ICT too and has been a bit worried about the UK job market but your experience is reassuring. I've got an action plan of all the things I am going to do over the next 12 months - it's part admin and part wishlist and it gives me something to focus on. This limbo period is very hard. We've got two little children and I work from home two days a week so I've got time to meet up for a coffee if you'd like to? It can be good to talk to someone in the same situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Hi "welcome" back, glad you had a nice time back home. I had exactly the same expeirence when I returned, work, friends etc. We have decided to move to Tasmania in June, driving down the coast surfing and fishing our way South then find a short term rental to check out the area before buying a house. I can't wait as, like you, I've not enjoyed the Sunshine coast expeirence either, it looks great on a postcard but its so boring. To pass the time I'd suggest hitting the gym in a big way, kayaking and fishing and if you can find one, doing a course in something new. I've done a few wilderness first aid, boat licence and other little courses here and there. Maybe something a bit more involved and time consumming would be better for you though. I have to say since I got a 'fun' job at the Endeavour foundation I've found it much easier here, less free time to remember how good life at home is/was etc. And even though it's a million miles away from what I'm trained in (Personal Protection and Counter Terrorism) I really enjoy it. Good luck J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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