Aunt Agatha Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Now that our decision to move back to the UK (after 10 years in Oz) is set in stone I'm feeling a bit apprehensive. It's the right decision but I'm nervous that I won't settle and will pine a bit for our lives here. I love the UK so it's not that, just wondering if I'll always feel restless I suppose. How long did it take you to settle back in the UK? Do you still feel a bit restless sometimes and if so, how do you deal with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Oh, about 15 seconds I suppose! Seriously, I began to feel at home just as soon as QF1 started flying up the Thames estuary (and always did) but I know I'm one of the lucky ones. Some little things occasionally make me go "huh?" (Why do they make car parking spaces just big enough for an Austin 7?) but generally it's been very straightforward. Sure there are days when I can imagine my Aussie house and I would kill for my induction cooktop and self cleaning oven and our shower ..... Well, it was just about perfect! But whenever I landed in Heathrow on visits I'd be "at home" straight away and if there was any lingering oddness it had gone by the time I'd been on the tube and arrived at Liverpool St! Some people experience the initial euphoria but then the mundane sets in and the honeymoon wears off and they start comparing the niggles of the current with the positives of the past and that would be less comfortable and make you doubt yourself (I'm still on honeymoon 2 yrs later but ask me in 5 yrs I may feel differently LOL!). There's really nothing about Aus that I miss (except the grand kids perhaps) so that does make it easier and I haven't expected other people to make me happy (selfish and self sufficient to the core - hallmark of a successful migrant LOL) but have treated this as a move to a new place and got on with becoming part of the community rather than expecting to slip back into what I once had. Good luck! I hope it works well for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 I felt like you before we left, our life in Australia was far from all bad and we'd been there almost 4 years before we even talked about coming back. We would have NEVER believed we'd return so it was hard to have confidence in our decision this time BUT from day 1 the feeling of being back was just incredible and it has just got better and better. Like Quoll the odd thing you think 'wow Australia was actually advanced' like DVLA requiring a cheque - I had no idea personal cheques still existed! I'm sure a lot depends on why you return, I missed the UK in itself, the landscape, the culture, the people (not specific people). It wasn't really possible to be disappointed because we'd been back 3 times and knew it wasn't rose tinted glasses. This all said we came back to a glorious summer and have only been back two months so there is plenty of time yet to have doubts, especially when the winter comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 10, 2013 Author Share Posted September 10, 2013 Thank you for taking the time to reply Quoll. I think what you say about treating it as a move to a new place is key. I've been happy wherever I have lived so I'm not seeking to fill a gap which I'm sure will help. However I think I probably do suffer a bit from whatifitis so will have to keep that in check. I'm also very sentimental which can be fatal in situations such as these! PS I love my Aussie shower passionately too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 10, 2013 Author Share Posted September 10, 2013 Thank you Lady Rainicorn. I feel the same way regarding the landscape, culture and sense of humour. On a more shallow note I also miss the supermarkets and the Weekend Guardian. I was only meant to come to Australia for four years to study so I never had that dream of "escaping" the UK which will hopefully help me settle back there. We are returning due to serious parental illness but have been talking about returning for some time so it's not a forced decision in that sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 I am also prone to be sentimental (& it's hereditary - my son wouldn't part with a ski jacket that is years too small for him because 'it's special' why? 'Because it was the jacket I learnt to ski in' - he was 3 and is now 10!! And yes he was allowed to keep it! We could have probably halved our shipping costs if it wasn't for sentimental value ) In leaving I made a decision not to indulge in sentiment. I didn't go back to our house for a 'last time' before we handed the keys in, we didn't have a leaving party (although that was maybe a mistake as we ended up with a lot of socializing we were really too busy to do), and everytime my mind started going down the 'I remember' path I firmly yanked it back. It did work there were very few tears, my son's last school meeting was the only time I cracked! I think the other thing is not to get hing up on 'forever' - one thing this whole journey has taught me is impermance, nothing lasts forever whether you want it to or not. I am committed to stay put until my son finishes high school and whilst my parents are still alive (they are in their 80s) but who knows after that, especially if my son was to favour his Aussie citizenship! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Thank you, you make some really valid points. I think I have been focussing on the "forever" instead of the adventure of it. You made me laugh with the ski jacket, your son is so sentimental for one so young! If my two choose to return to Oz (they are only 2.5 years and 6 months currently so hopefully not for a while yet!) I would have to come too. Poor kids having Mum and Dad following them about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Ah, the forever! I find that crippling TBH. I'm much better now that I can see life as full of adventures! I'm going to be a crotchety old biddy when I can no longer have adventures!!! Good luck with your parents! That is going to be your biggest challenge! Caring for the elderly is not a picnic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Forever is such a big word isn't it, like you I have found it paralyzing. Thinking of it all as an adventure is much more interesting. I'm going to be one of those annoying old biddies regaling anyone who will listen with tales of my travels. I won't be my parents' carer (they aren't at that stage thankfully) and I will have help from my sister and her family but life is about to be very different. We're so used to just pleasing ourselves over here and doing our own thing, it will be tough to be part of a wider family with the responsibilities and dynamics that brings. The positives will outweigh the difficult times I'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Yes, the loss of independence is the one thing that chafes me here - we can only go away for short periods and eventually I think even those little jaunts will become few and far between. I have no siblings unfortunately but my parents are both heading for 90 in the next few months. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 Thank you. Affordable trips to Europe and particularly the Nordic countries are something I'm very excited about so fingers crossed we can fit in a few! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Thank you. Affordable trips to Europe and particularly the Nordic countries are something I'm very excited about so fingers crossed we can fit in a few! Check out skyscanner for cheap flights, they've been doing flights to norway, sweden, denmark, belgium and a few other places from £40 - 50. Thats from scotland so depending on where you are they might be cheaper especially if your flexible on dates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 Oh thank you, that's music to my ears! We're hoping to be in Newcastle but may end up in London depending on job opportunities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 Now that our decision to move back to the UK (after 10 years in Oz) is set in stone I'm feeling a bit apprehensive. It's the right decision but I'm nervous that I won't settle and will pine a bit for our lives here. I love the UK so it's not that, just wondering if I'll always feel restless I suppose. How long did it take you to settle back in the UK? Do you still feel a bit restless sometimes and if so, how do you deal with it? Just like QUOLL, I arrived in Sydney March 79 and have been back in the UK barely two years. My wife is a NZer and we packed up with no idea to how long we'd be staying but have no thoughts on returning to Australia. We still have our house there and pension fund etc but Scotland feels like a nice fit at the moment and the exchange rate has certainly helped. I initially visited Australia on a merchant ship in 1973 when I was 16 and was quite familiar with the place by the time I settled there. Couldn't leave the UK fast enough as a young man. We're far from rich but feel comfortable and self funded although most people here assume we're on some sort of benefits. Meeting old friends from long ago and rediscovering that Saturdays are for football has given me a soft landing. We suspended our private health cover in Australia and can't find anything to compare here which is disappointing, so are at the mercy of NHS which I think is dreadful, I know not all agree. Our neighbours are marvellous and politics are interesting but politicians are nowhere near as accessible as in Australia and the class system here is a constant irritation and a challenge. The UK is a very orderly place and I feel people here see that as some sort of safe/secure thing and tend not to rock the boat. Australia on the other hand is still developing and changing all the time, mainly from immigration and also from the identity crisis that Aussies struggle with, where they fit in the world has always been a dilemma etc. I'm in the pub most nights for a couple of pints before tea, and I still encourage any young people with itchy feet to get out and see the world. Even if they don't like it they can return to Blighty and appreciate what's here. I've seen the occasional Aussies passing through the UK and when we were in Italy a few weeks ago we came upon a few who were doing the obligatory overseas trip. Funny to hear them say they'd "done France" in four days, and will "do Thailand" on the way home. I find life so much slower here just outside Edinburgh compared to the eastern suburbs of Sydney. "Prospering" in Australia over thirty years wasn't particularly difficult but the pace of the city rat race at times was far from pleasant. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to get a clear picture, and the streets of Edinburgh are far more appealing to an old bloke than the humidity of Sydney during summer months. The standard of living in any country can only be compared in a relative way. If you arrive at Heathrow with a surf board then disappointment awaits, and Aussies can be arrogant travellers, (the new Yanks perhaps), but the UK has a lot to offer, and it's only since living back here in the UK that I've realised just how wealthy Australia/Australians have become. When Brits arrived in Australia decades ago they were the preferred migrant and becoming established was a rite of passage. It's much more difficult these days for young families moving to Oz, and living conditions here in Britain have improved significantly since the seventies. The supermarkets are full of interesting food and a healthy diet isn't hard to find here anymore and costs a lot less than Australia. Anyway the journey continues.... Syd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 Thanks so much for sharing your story Sydney, it sounds like you have settled in really well. It has so much to do with attitude doesn't it, you obviously have an open mind and an adventurous outlook! I'm quite excited now about moving back - just wish it wasn't going to be so expensive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest malkamlka Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 About a week. You just have to get on with it. Otherwise you will be miserable:arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 About 3 minutes! As soon as I spotted a London taxi I knew I was 'home' where I wanted to be and it was an incredibly beautiful deep feeling. Got back in April and still awed every morning when I wake up and realise I am here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Now that our decision to move back to the UK (after 10 years in Oz) is set in stone I'm feeling a bit apprehensive. It's the right decision but I'm nervous that I won't settle and will pine a bit for our lives here. I love the UK so it's not that, just wondering if I'll always feel restless I suppose. How long did it take you to settle back in the UK? Do you still feel a bit restless sometimes and if so, how do you deal with it? Hello Quoll Im sure you would not remember me but I was on years ago. Then coming back to the UK was jus a dream for you. Have I got this right are you back hear for good? John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Hello Quoll Im sure you would not remember me but I was on years ago. Then coming back to the UK was jus a dream for you. Have I got this right are you back hear for good? John Who knows???? I'm enjoying every minute! We're caring for elderly rellies so when they kick the bucket it'll be up for grabs but the understanding I have with the DH is that we will return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Who knows???? I'm enjoying every minute! We're caring for elderly rellies so when they kick the bucket it'll be up for grabs but the understanding I have with the DH is that we will return. Obviously its nobodys business but your own but you spent such a long time over there unhappy and you said your OH said hes happy enough in the UK so why shouldnt you get the chance to be happy here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 As soon as my feet touched the Tarmac at heathroow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 27, 2013 Author Share Posted September 27, 2013 It seems that most of you settled in record time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 About 3 minutes! As soon as I spotted a London taxi I knew I was 'home' where I wanted to be and it was an incredibly beautiful deep feeling. Got back in April and still awed every morning when I wake up and realise I am here We've got London taxis here in Perth now, only they're going to be white not black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 We've got London taxis here in Perth now, only they're going to be white not black.:cute: Have to give one a try. Wonder if I jump in one I hear 'Where To Guv' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 :cute: Have to give one a try. Wonder if I jump in one I hear 'Where To Guv' Might be in an Indian accent though.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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