When education fails...

[Phoenix16]

NB, that is just so true. I think we look to 'blame' someone in society. It's barely acceptable these days to just conclude your kid is misguided..there usually 'has' to be a reason..I'll go with your theory though because it makes perfect sense to me!

 

I guess my original question was not really about kids who dont follow the traditional path of uni etc it was more about thise who drop out of conformity to a degree and seriously undervalue themselves. Kids with great potential who are going nowhere fast. I suppose I was one such kid...I did finish high school but dropped out of 6 th form and bummed around doing courses and dead end jobs till I was 23. I just want better for my daughter.

 

HH I'm with you, it sounds like my story! As I've said on another post I was ok however, I did and do have a life long legacy of painful shyness that can be construed as being rude/ignorant or thick! - Im Not!!! Now, I'm dealing with my 5 year old daughter who is outgoing and confident with us, her parents, yet is painfully shy to the outside world. At Kindy I got reports to say amazing, wonderful, very gregarious... 1 term into pre primary, new teacher, same class mates, I was called in with a list of issues, mainly, No resilience, falling behind, emotional, she recommended the school child Psychologist. I was totally floored, totally scared and bewildered and just terrified my daughter was going to have my legacy of shyness and insecurity. We had the meeting with the psychologist who ultimately reprimanded the teacher for her approach and assured me my kid was ok but the teacher is actually a really good one, and relations seemed to break down, my daughter has 2 afternoons of extra tuition, but prophetically, days later the private school I'd put her name down for 2 years earlier rang to offer a place, I grabbed it. my daughter is thriving there, but, my only goal and motive is that she comes out of the system a totally grounded, confident and self assured girl. We will encourage and support all her interests and academia to the hilt and that's a bonus but I just want a young lady who knows what she wants in life and has the confidence to go get it.

[milliem]

I often see students in year 10 and 11 who are not suited to academia and yet possess marvellous skills in other areas. Yet many of them persevere because it is what they, their parents or their friends think is the only way. I think the current system fails these kids. Their morale sinks lower by the day as they are constantly introduced to new material which has little chance of making full sense to them or being retained in any depth. School is torture for some of them. Some of them faithfully attend extra tuition every week in an effort to keep up with the rest. They have a huge uphill battle to make it to the end so as to get their educational certificate.

 

In my opinion there should by a full time trade school option from age 13 which has a basic numeracy and literacy component. By the time they reach year 10 they would then have skills towards an apprenticeship and trade.

 

This idea that people cannot be successful without an academic certificate is just wrong and the perceptions need to change. If I had the opportunity again I would definitely have chosen a trade over academia.

 

Millie x

[NicF]

I agree completely with milliem, although I was an academic child so would still have gone the academic route, but I've seen plenty of kids who were practically written off at school go on to run successful businesses in their chosen trade or area.

 

I know it's hard but personally I think we have to let our kids make their own mistakes - to an extent anyway. We can try and encourage them to work hard and try their best but some kids will either never listen or will rebel when they hit teenage years no matter what you do as a parent. My own mother was a rebellious teenager - started smoking at 14, snuck out of her bedroom window to go out and party, left school part way through her A levels and went nursing instead. My mum pretty much gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted as long as I was safe. I was never pushed to achieve academically and I was pretty much left to make my own mistakes, which I did. I was a really bright kid and got through school without ever really having to put much effort in, right up until passing my GCSEs. I went on to do A levels at the local technical college, didn't really put much effort in and, funnily enough, didn't do very well. This was the kick I needed and I did a resit year, got an A and a B, went on to get a 2:1 in my degree and then passed an MSc before starting on a graduate program with a large IT organisation.

 

Throughout my life I have come across plenty of people who have decided to make a change and do something new. Some left school early with few or no qualifications and decided later in life to make a change. Others have just decided on a change of career and have gone back to Uni later in life. It's harder to study when you are older and have more responsibilities but it's not impossible. If you are an intelligent person who has failed school due to going off the rails you will still be an intelligent person 5 years later when you have got back on track and decided what you want to do with your life. There is a lot of pressure on young people to make a decision about what they are going to do for the rest of their lives, when actually they should only be deciding what they are going to do for the next few years. There is also some kind of feeling that unless you have some kind of high flying career and/or are earning lots of money you have somehow failed, which is also wrong. It is possible to make a choice to be in a lower paid/lessor skilled job and if that is what you want and you are happy then in my mind you are as successful as anyone running a top company.

[ali]

NB, that is just so true. I think we look to 'blame' someone in society. It's barely acceptable these days to just conclude your kid is misguided..there usually 'has' to be a reason..I'll go with your theory though because it makes perfect sense to me!

 

I guess my original question was not really about kids who dont follow the traditional path of uni etc it was more about thise who drop out of conformity to a degree and seriously undervalue themselves. Kids with great potential who are going nowhere fast. I suppose I was one such kid...I did finish high school but dropped out of 6 th form and bummed around doing courses and dead end jobs till I was 23. I just want better for my daughter.

 

But you found 'your' way HH - and look what you've achieved.

[Petals]

I left my children alone when they came to finals if they passed they passed if they didn't lesson learned. As it was my son did not get the marks he wanted, however he had a wonderful time at school and in year 12 in particular. He could have gone to uni but not where he wanted. So we sat down and talked about it and looked at his options. He went to TAFE and did chemical science and this was the best thing for him, his maths improved out of sight, he grew up and had wonderful teachers there better than at school. Went off to uni and did a science degree and then a teaching diploma and is a science maths teacher. If we had pushed him he would have done better as we was an able student but he probably would not have learned any life skills. Now his TAFE qualifications help him with his job as not a lot of science grads have good lab skills as well.

 

I think parents forget who is at school, who is doing the study and they worry and compare and they do not need to do this, our children are our children and they are part of us. We need to look at ourselves and realise that we cannot expect anymore from them at their young ages than was expected of us.

 

Funny this should come up was reading a lot of stuff about teaching and schools yesterday and the one thing that did come out was the children in the UK article who were gifted and their parents did not know why. The problem is a lot of people do have successful children but they also have the money to get them the best of everything. So there are a lot of ordinary children who are gifted and they are swept under the carpet and they use their gifts in bad ways sometimes and sometimes they just become despondent.

 

Our place as parents is to let them go at their own speed, if one is faster deal with it, if one is slower deal with it but no pushing.

[Chortlepuss]

I remember being interviewed by a bloke (newly qualified MBA) in Brisbane. He asked me about my experience of benefits realisation - I gave him a great example where I'd worked extensively with a group of senior managers and executives to define and monitor benefits for a major programme of work - he asked me for my awareness of benefits mgt theory - I told him what I knew about the ones I had used/read up on , he then kept going through benefits management theories until he hit one I hadn't heard of. I said I'm happy to apply any theory to my work (lets face it, you just need to read up on it) - but that was it, told the recruiter I wasn't suitable due to my 'lack of knowledge'. I've no doubt that role was given to a fresh faced MBA with b@ggerall practical experience. I know so many brilliant, highly intelligent people without any degrees at all, but fantastic work/life experience...I have worked in the past for incredibly able managers, who did their job extremely well, got fantastic results, and wouldn't give a fig for management theory. But the problem seems to be recruiters relying on pieces of paper to do their job for them - I really do have admiration for people who study for MBA's etc, especially in their spare time - It's not easy - but to be honest, with 20+ years work experience in business/IT, I believe these should be a supplement not a substitute for real world experience and common sense.