Bored

[Lass81]

We find each weekend, school holiday, public holiday mind numbingly difficult. We have a choice of course the same parks that we have been to so many times even the kids walk around bored and end up fighting. Or the over priced zoo, aquarium, wildlife parks that we have been to several times in the last seven years. We have been camping and although we always felt we were outdoor kind of people in the UK just can't get excited with the thought of really camping here. Apart from the fact that you have to book almost a year ahead to get any decent holiday camping sites or accommodation during the school holidays. There are the beaches which we have done and the BBQ's. The motivation has gone and we just can't bear it any more. Can't wait for green hills, fresh air, seasons & rain! Walks through muddy woodlands and teaching our children all about the wonderful lovely wildlife the UK has.

[VERYSTORMY]

We find each weekend, school holiday, public holiday mind numbingly difficult. We have a choice of course the same parks that we have been to so many times even the kids walk around bored and end up fighting. Or the over priced zoo, aquarium, wildlife parks that we have been to several times in the last seven years. We have been camping and although we always felt we were outdoor kind of people in the UK just can't get excited with the thought of really camping here. Apart from the fact that you have to book almost a year ahead to get any decent holiday camping sites or accommodation during the school holidays. There are the beaches which we have done and the BBQ's. The motivation has gone and we just can't bear it any more. Can't wait for green hills, fresh air, seasons & rain! Walks through muddy woodlands and teaching our children all about the wonderful lovely wildlife the UK has.

 

Sorry, but going to make you jealous. This is where we spent last weekend http://www.windsorgreatpark.co.uk/endroughty/experiences/virginia-water

 

Red deer and red squirrels were about as well. The weather was one of those perfect early spring periods - a crisp chill in the air, but warm in the sunshine. Follow that with a pint in a country pub with a roaring fire and a good sunday lunch.

[Lass81]

Very jelous! Enjoy every minute Very Stormy, life is to short to be somewhere that makes you unhappy.

[Marisawright]

We find each weekend, school holiday, public holiday mind numbingly difficult.

 

We have the same problem in Southampton. It's not the country that's the problem in either case, it's the specific city that you're in.

[VERYSTORMY]

We have the same problem in Southampton. It's not the country that's the problem in either case, it's the specific city that you're in.

 

Have you considered a move to another part of the UK?

[Marisawright]

Have you considered a move to another part of the UK?

 

Yes, that's what we've spent most of the last year thinking about! While I can identify several places where we'd be happier, they are all too expensive. And anyway, there are other aspects of British life which aren't for me, so even if I'd be happier, I'd still rather be in Oz.

 

Besides, there's too much uncertainty around tax and pensions: not ever being able to claim the Australian pension is one issue for us, since my oh can't get a British one.

[Rosiegirl]

Boredom is the main reason we are wanting to return to the UK. At least having family and friends to visit on a quiet day or just going for a drive instead of the vast distances to the same old places. I get really excited when there is something - anything going on and I'm frequently disappointed. I went to a wine festival even though I don't drink - $20 per person to get in and $5 to buy a plastic wine glass if you wanted to taste the wine, it was basically a market with some wine tasting for extra cash. I stayed 10 minutes mad with myself for wasting 1 hours travel and $20 to visit a market stall!

[bristolman]

Have you considered a move to another part of the UK?

 

We found by moving to an unknown area for us opened up all sorts of opportunities. Very affordable housing was one and plenty of work. I will be honest with Marissa that on a list of places to live in the UK Southampton wouldn't make it into the first 5 pages lol.

[Marisawright]

We found by moving to an unknown area for us opened up all sorts of opportunities. Very affordable housing was one and plenty of work. I will be honest with Marissa that on a list of places to live in the UK Southampton wouldn't make it into the first 5 pages lol.

 

Everyone has told me that and I agree 100%. The thing is, it's convenient for visiting family and we don't see any point in going to all the hassle of moving elsewhere, since I haven't found anywhere that would persuade me to stay - particularly as it will be more expensive.

 

One of my big challenges is that I've tried living in small towns and villages and I loathe it. With a passion! I need the big city vibe and that doesn't leave me much choice in the UK. The focus of life in England has shifted IMO - it's all about Escaping to the Country. Which is great for those who like it but not for me!

[bristolman]

Everyone has told me that and I agree 100%. The thing is, it's convenient for visiting family and we don't see any point in going to all the hassle of moving elsewhere, since I haven't found anywhere that would persuade me to stay - particularly as it will be more expensive.

 

One of my big challenges is that I've tried living in small towns and villages and I loathe it. With a passion! I need the big city vibe and that doesn't leave me much choice in the UK. The focus of life in England has shifted IMO - it's all about Escaping to the Country. Which is great for those who like it but not for me!

 

That's fair enough, it's very unusual. I don't think I know anyone who prefers the city to a village. I absolutely hated Sydney when we visited, just a big city with crazy traffic but we are all different.

[Marisawright]

That's fair enough, it's very unusual. I don't think I know anyone who prefers the city to a village. I absolutely hated Sydney when we visited, just a big city with crazy traffic but we are all different.

 

I don't think it's unusual at all. I know lots of people who prefer city living. If we had enough money, we'd be living in London.

[bristolman]

I don't think it's unusual at all. I know lots of people who prefer city living. If we had enough money, we'd be living in London.

 

Different circles I guess, I can't think of anyone who would swap but as I keep saying we are all different.

[Marisawright]

Different circles I guess, I can't think of anyone who would swap but as I keep saying we are all different.

 

.....but then you lived in suburbia before, and are now living in a village I think? So obviously you're not likely to be meeting inner-city types.

[VERYSTORMY]

Different circles I guess, I can't think of anyone who would swap but as I keep saying we are all different.

 

I know many that would not live in a rural setting under any circumstances. My brother in law would consider it hell. Heck, he complains that Richmond is too rural

[bristolman]

I know many that would not live in a rural setting under any circumstances. My brother in law would consider it hell. Heck, he complains that Richmond is too rural

 

Yeah its bizarre, living in a city is my idea of hell on earth.

[bristolman]

.....but then you lived in suburbia before, and are now living in a village I think? So obviously you're not likely to be meeting inner-city types.

 

Yes, moved from suburbia to a wonderful village.

You should never assume

[Marisawright]

Yes, moved from suburbia to a wonderful village.

You should never assume

 

Well you told me you'd never met anyone who liked living in the inner city so I didn't have to assume anything.

 

I know a lot of Brits seem to love village life, I wish I could feel the same as it would make it a lot easier to settle - but I don't!

[bristolman]

Well you told me you'd never met anyone who liked living in the inner city so I didn't have to assume anything.

 

No, you said I'm not likely to be meeting inner city types. I'm absolutely fine with you preferring to live in a city, it will not impact on me one bit but I think it's fair to say most would prefer to look out the window and see countryside.

[VERYSTORMY]

Well you told me you'd never met anyone who liked living in the inner city so I didn't have to assume anything.

 

I know a lot of Brits seem to love village life, I wish I could feel the same as it would make it a lot easier to settle - but I don't!

 

I know at the moment, your plan is to head back, but I also know that it isn't ideal for your husband. Have you considered some of the large towns in the SE that would give you access to London and the city life while still access to Southampton family? There are a number around here that might fit that and aren't actually that expensive. For example, rents in Maidenhead are similar to Southampton, but a "nicer" place to live in my opinion and London is only a skip away while Southampton is only just over an hour. For a bit more cash, you can, with some looking even live in Windsor for prices that aren't stupid if you look for the right areas - basically avoid being in walking distance to the train station. I can be in central London in 20 minutes maximum and Southampton in an hour. You also then do have access to countryside as well when wanted visa the Great Park.

[Marisawright]

I know at the moment, your plan is to head back, but I also know that it isn't ideal for your husband. Have you considered some of the large towns in the SE that would give you access to London and the city life while still access to Southampton family?

 

That's exactly where we've been looking. I have found prices in most areas to be a lot dearer than Southampton (we're paying £750 a month). Anyway, I don't want "access" to London. If I could live in the middle of it, great - but I'm accustomed to having amenities on my doorstep, not a long train trip away. I'm used to being able to get to adult dance classes and social ballroom dances a few nights a week (without having to drive across country), being a ten-minute bus ride to a major shopping centre, being able to get to nice restaurants without worrying about drink driving, etc.

 

The problem in the UK is that with the trend for people to move out to villages and commute into town, things like dance classes seem to have moved out with them (which is logical, I suppose). So if we moved to Exeter, for instance (where one of my nieces lives and which I like), I'd have to travel all around the outlying villages to find enough dance classes. I'm a nervous driver so I just wouldn't do it in winter when it's pitch black and pouring rain.

[VERYSTORMY]

That's exactly where we've been looking. I have found prices in most areas to be a lot dearer than Southampton (we're paying £750 a month). Anyway, I don't want "access" to London. If I could live in the middle of it, great - but I'm accustomed to having amenities on my doorstep, not a long train trip away. I'm used to being able to get to adult dance classes and social ballroom dances a few nights a week (without having to drive across country), being a ten-minute bus ride to a major shopping centre, being able to get to nice restaurants without worrying about drink driving, etc.

 

The problem in the UK is that with the trend for people to move out to villages and commute into town, things like dance classes seem to have moved out with them (which is logical, I suppose). So if we moved to Exeter, for instance (where one of my nieces lives and which I like), I'd have to travel all around the outlying villages to find enough dance classes. I'm a nervous driver so I just wouldn't do it in winter when it's pitch black and pouring rain.

 

What about Slough and Reading. Fairly big cities with lots of ammenaties and also London is close for trips - 20 - 30 mins by car and only a short trip by train (both are major commuter places to London as a result) But both have significant facilities. Slough centre is not pretty by any stretch, but, once 10 mins out of the city, some great places to live - we have seen no shortage of places in that price bracket. For about 50 quid more, you could also get Windsor or even some parts of West London

[bristolman]

I think to be honest some just aren't suited to live here or indeed in Australia and they really have to be in the country that suits them. I could never live in the country in Australia and could only live in the suburbs but here I couldn't now live anywhere but rural as it is just such a wonderful life. I don't really see it as a criticism of the 'other' country, for us Australia just couldn't give us what we wanted and for Marissa it is the opposite. It would be pretty boring if we all wanted the same I suppose.

[Marisawright]

What about Slough and Reading. Fairly big cities with lots of ammenaties and also London is close for trips - 20 - 30 mins by car and only a short trip by train (both are major commuter places to London as a result) But both have significant facilities. Slough centre is not pretty by any stretch, but, once 10 mins out of the city, some great places to live - we have seen no shortage of places in that price bracket. For about 50 quid more, you could also get Windsor or even some parts of West London

 

Here's where I'm at right now.

 

We realised very quickly that So'ton was a mistake, and we agreed that when our lease ran out (last November), we'd move.

 

We explored a fair bit and found a few possible locations, and I spent countless hours on the internet and on the phone to agents in Sept/Oct looking for flats - but then my oh said England hadn't lived up to his expectations, and since we had to go back to Oz one day anyway, we might as well head home in May. Therefore as it was only another six months, was it really worth the hassle of moving?

 

We do have a gorgeous flat in Soton and we were planning a lot of travelling, so I decided I could handle that. Come February and he starts saying he wants to stay longer after all. I could've brained him, but I had no objection to staying, IF we moved somewhere else. However, because I'd done ALL the work of finding our holiday flat in Bournemouth, our flat in So'ton, and all the research for our aborted move in November, I said, "I'm burnt out. If you want to stay, you've got to do the legwork this time."

 

I gave him all the research I'd done - names of possible cities, suburbs etc etc. That was in February. It's now April. What has he done? Nothing. Nada. Not a stroke.

 

Frankly, I've had it. He's the one that wants to stay in this country, so why am I the one that has to put in all the effort? He can jolly well pull his finger out and find me a decent home to live in, in a decent city! I don't think I'm being unreasonable, in fact I think I've been pretty patient. If he's not even going to try, then he'll just have to put up with the Australian sun because I'm not spending another winter in So'ton come what may.

 

Reading is on the list, actually. But again, rentals aren't cheap. The thing is, he's an Aussie - what you might call character, he sees as dilapidated, so that rules out a lot of rental places in Britain. Again, he's the one creating the problem by being too fussy about what he'll live in - not me!

[bristolman]

Haha, I call dilapidated dilapidated to be honest. Character is deserved and is not the same as falling apart but Im not sure what being an Aussie has to do with that really. We don't only live in a different county but it's almost a different world. There are so many beautiful places to live in this country, to be honest Reading wouldn't be one of them. Somerset, Wiltshire, Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire, Herefordshire etc etc etc. Marissa what your husband is doing doesn't seem fair and I see that you have made the decision to return and nothing will change that. To be honest I said the same when you posted your update when you arrived here, I think even then you had made the decision in your mind and that would explain the things you were saying. That is fine, we were just the same in Australia, seeing things that weren't necessarily there. My feeling is it is you that won't be happy staying here rather than your husband.

[Marisawright]

Marissa what your husband is doing doesn't seem fair and I see that you have made the decision to return and nothing will change that. To be honest I said the same when you posted your update when you arrived here, I think even then you had made the decision in your mind and that would explain the things you were saying.

 

Rubbish. You are completely and utterly wrong about how I felt when I arrived. And once again, you're accusing me of making things up in that first post (which you clearly did not read properly at the time).

 

I confess I've spent the last few minutes writing a reply to refute your puerile argument, but on reflection it's such a breathtakingly patronising and condescending comment, I've decided it's not worthy of response.