Pam W Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Hi i wondered if it is just me or is this is a common experience. I emigrated as a young wife and mum in 1981. I have for the most part prospered here and my children are grown up And doing well. My youngest daughter moved to Canada with her husband and may stay. My oldest daughter is very settled here as a single parent with her 10 yr old son. its just me,I'm 60 this year and I physically ache for England. The soft wet weather,the humor,the family and relatives I have there. I think this was started off by my daughter moving to Canada and I know UK is going through a hard time but I just long for the countryside and things that I can't seem to put my finger on. Would appreciate any thoughts from anyone:laugh::xmas2:Pam w :GEEK: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anitaw Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Lovey do what your heart tells you. Do you have friends here? Will your family embrace you if you go back? Could you join your daughter in Canada? Write a list and decide where you will be happiest and go for it. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xtonite Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Wow, a fascinating story. I've only been in Aus 3 and a half years and at the moment have no desires to go back but your post has made me wonder if maybe one I may change my mind. All I can say is the same as I say to people who are not site about emigrating to Australia : at the end of your days when you are reflecting about your life, the only regrets should be about the things you have done and not regret the things you haven't! If you want to go back, then go it! Good luck and keep us all updated! Geoff Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so no smilies and just assume I 'like' your post unless I say otherwise as there's no 'like' button for me to click on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest misspreschool Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Maybe you need to go back home for a holiday, see how it makes you feel being back. I would say go back in the winter, because if you still don't mind that it gets dark early and the weather is horrible then maybe you really do belong in the UK Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Go back if you want to but don't 'burn your bridges', ie don't sell your home here if you own one, but rent it out. Go in winter rather than summer so you see the UK at its 'worst' (Not that I think it's bad during the winter but the UK in spring/summer can be truly magical. Arriving back in a dank, grey, chill, December morning was a different experience.) Going back after thirty years is like emigrating all over again and it will probably take a few months to really settle in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Hi i wondered if it is just me or is this is a common experience. I emigrated as a young wife and mum in 1981. I have for the most part prospered here and my children are grown up And doing well. My youngest daughter moved to Canada with her husband and may stay. My oldest daughter is very settled here as a single parent with her 10 yr old son. its just me,I'm 60 this year and I physically ache for England. The soft wet weather,the humor,the family and relatives I have there. I think this was started off by my daughter moving to Canada and I know UK is going through a hard time but I just long for the countryside and things that I can't seem to put my finger on. Would appreciate any thoughts from anyone:laugh::xmas2:Pam w :GEEK: I can totally relate - pretty much the same sort of time frame for me too - arrived in March 79 with a baby and left to live in UK 30 August 2011 - it has been the best thing I have ever done! We had (at that stage) one son in UK who had come on a gap year 10 years ago and not bothered to return and a second son with two grandkids in Aus. For me it was an accidental move - the wheels fell of the parental wagon and it is blatantly obvious that they are no longer as independent as they once were so we are effectively caring for them in their own home. The living arrangements arent ideal but my once totally intransigent Aussie husband has been amazing, he has made the move here without a hitch (despite his continual assertions that he would be miserable in UK ... he isnt, he's having a grand old time!). For me, I have my life back, I have lost weight, joined so much more, spend my days actually doing far more and enjoying every minute. I regularly go for walks in the countryside and even the cold of this winer wasnt enough to keep me indoors, unlike the relentless heat of an Aussie summer. I say if you can afford it then go for it, that ache wont go away until you do!!! Nothing beats that sense of "belonging"! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Di Vale Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I know exactly what you mean.............!!!..I understand totally when you say....its something you cant put your finger on..!!!!!!!!!.........Im 54..and only been here 3 years..but I came on my own..........I was married in UK for 32 years..........had 2 children.........decided enough was enough..in my marriage..and put an end to it..!!!!!!!!!....was single for 4 yrs.in UK......loved my single life...but then............met a man from Oz.............moved out here.left everything behind.......!!!.not an easy choice.............but now..finding myself............more and more.........thinking of UK..just like you do........!!..My parents few weeks ago celebrated 60 years marriage..........(wow ..what an achievement was that.!!))........My oldest Son..(27 yrs ).called me from the Family Meal they were having to celebrate......I felt totally left out.........but also very sad I was not there..!!..i THINK ITS WONDERFUL ..that you have the opportunity to go back ....like you say...........its the weather..humour family and friends....and countryside......!!..Hey Pam...........do it........I know I will one day.........!!go back to your roots..and enjoy............and I wish you the very best..Hugs.............xXx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi - are we twins? I came out in 81. Lived in both countries for equal amount of years (31 in each) and last year this 'itch' started and grew and grew and it can no longer be avoided. I met my 2nd husband here so he's lived here a lot longer and he too has caught this itch. I walked into the lounge one day late last year and suddenly said 'Where do you want to die?' 'England' he said and we were both stunned as he has always said he'd never leave here so I hadn't voiced my feelings! I sat in silence for about 2 hours before I could even talk to him about it. Was the idea ridiculous? I phoned one of my brothers in the UK and asked him and he thought I was mad and said if he had his time over again he would definitely have emigrated! However, nobody but an x-pat can possibly understand. Every morning I get up and think I must be mad to want to go back with 3 adult kids here. I look at the clear, sunny sky and everything is glistening (good time of year in Brisbane at the moment) and wonder how I could possibloy want to return to dark, miserable winter mornings that go on and on and on. I get a bit depressed if the rain goes on forever so how on earth would I cope. I was cold when I got up yesterday morning so how would I cope over there. So I'm trying to be realistic by using my head but my heart tells me different yet I dread the huge amount of work we have to do and the stress involved to acomplish our move. On Sunday I read in the paper that a writer asks herself 'Would I regret it if I didn't do it?' and it makes decisions simple for her. I showed my husband and we both agreed that yes we would always regret it if we didn't go back 'home' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 How about taking an extended holiday? Then see how you feel. Have a look at your finances, could you afford to take extended holidays on a regular basis? If so, then you can live wherever you feel like, and visit the places/people you want to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Country lad Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi - are we twins? I came out in 81. Lived in both countries for equal amount of years (31 in each) and last year this 'itch' started and grew and grew and it can no longer be avoided. I met my 2nd husband here so he's lived here a lot longer and he too has caught this itch. I walked into the lounge one day late last year and suddenly said 'Where do you want to die?' 'England' he said and we were both stunned as he has always said he'd never leave here so I hadn't voiced my feelings! I sat in silence for about 2 hours before I could even talk to him about it. Was the idea ridiculous? I phoned one of my brothers in the UK and asked him and he thought I was mad and said if he had his time over again he would definitely have emigrated! However, nobody but an x-pat can possibly understand. Every morning I get up and think I must be mad to want to go back with 3 adult kids here. I look at the clear, sunny sky and everything is glistening (good time of year in Brisbane at the moment) and wonder how I could possibloy want to return to dark, miserable winter mornings that go on and on and on. I get a bit depressed if the rain goes on forever so how on earth would I cope. I was cold when I got up yesterday morning so how would I cope over there. So I'm trying to be realistic by using my head but my heart tells me different yet I dread the huge amount of work we have to do and the stress involved to acomplish our move. On Sunday I read in the paper that a writer asks herself 'Would I regret it if I didn't do it?' and it makes decisions simple for her. I showed my husband and we both agreed that yes we would always regret it if we didn't go back 'home' Your last word 'home' that is the operative word, that should paint a picture for all of those with any shadow of doubt, I notice that a lot of people that have moved here still class the UK as back home, Australia is a great place but for some of us it will never be home, it's just an acceptable location that we have moved to in search of something!! although some are not sure of exactly what? all you hear is the sun and the lifestyle but is that truly what people look for or do we just get bored with our mundane lifestyles in the country that we were born and constantly look for something better? I am one of those that will live here until I have had enough, but I will be returning home someday to rest my weary bones and couldn't bear the thought to have to be buried here, so many miles from the place I know as "home" 'green grass, rolling hills and a smell of fresh air that is unmistakeable on a cool fresh winters morning'.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Its just so different in the UK now though, not the UK I remember as a child and a young married person. Its like Aus without sun, many many people from different parts of the world, wonder what my ancestors would think. So I think of Aus as home now as that is where my children were born and where we live and where we will have our ashes scattered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydneyhorn Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Yes, it is a common experience and a common feeling. I've 'only' done 12 years in Australia but I totally empathise with you and in particular when you describe how you "physically ache for England". There are plenty of negative posters on here who will denigrate both the UK and Australia, depending on their own viewpoint. But I think you need to make your decisions based on positives. I came to Australia because I had an ache to explore this world of ours and live and work in another culture. I will never regret that move. Now I have that ache to go home and nothing anyone can say about the UK will put me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Its just so different in the UK now though, not the UK I remember as a child and a young married person. Its like Aus without sun, many many people from different parts of the world, wonder what my ancestors would think. So I think of Aus as home now as that is where my children were born and where we live and where we will have our ashes scattered. Petals - everywhere has changed! We lived in UK for 9 months when Blair was the new kid on the block and had been there the year before when Princess Diana died. We were back there again for 3 moneed themnths returning about 15 months ago and we always marvel at the changes. Some things were much better than here. For example, whilst we are (according to last night's news) going to get a police helicopter at last for Queensland - just one - in the UK the police have about 17 plus access to countless more when they need them - we are so slow here to catch onto things that work in other countries. How many lives could have been saved if the police hadn't done so many dangerous car chases on busy roads here or in the dark. The variety of food and the prices blew us away (yes I know prices have increased over there like here in the past year) because of the brilliant competition over there. Some of the consumer watch dogs actually have teeth over there and can act on unfair practices. When the whole of Europe and America ban certain medicines or dangerous chemicals, we have to battle for years thereafter to get them banned here, if at all! I could go on and on. We cannot bag either country for crime/prices/weather and such because all have changed throughout the world. We are looking forward and our personal future appears to be England. Perhaps in 5 years time we'll come home! There will be no regrets as there would be if we didn't do what our hearts are telling us now and we'll live with the changes like we do here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moors Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 its funny reading this in away, i have just moved to oz with my family back in jan from the uk and i miss it already. The funny thing is i was born here, in western australia and all of my 37 yrs of life have wanted to come home!!!!!!!!! but I'm not sure this is home, i am missing the uk i lived in devon and loved walking over the moors with my friends and seeing family and i am really missing them at the mo. I must admit maybe one day i too will return but i know it would be a struggle as things in the uk are not great at the moment hence why we left to try and give the kids a better life here. I also have heard of a lot of people moving home and then returning here so the idea of a long holiday is a very good one before you make your final decision. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 So you live in Qld like us and you came from Devon which is where we are going to! We lived and worked in Paignton for 9 months about 14 years ago and are going back to that area where it's warm! I came out with my first husband 31 years ago for the kids and now regret it and so do my two boys. They hated growing up without aunts, unlces, cousins etc. No other family at Christmas and at other important events in out lives. My daughter has just returned from a 6 month visit and has lived there before for 2 years and this time (as she's older) now feels much better connected with all of the family she got to meet (not all of them yet, big family). She says she loves having uncles. I so wish my two sons had had uncles they could have gone to at times - male role models other than their Dad and step-dad. They would have benefited greatly. Two of my children now at least know some of their cousins and uncles and aunts but my other son has said that even if he were there, he wouldn't get to know them because then it would hurt all over again to leave them! I never thought of all this when their Dad said he wanted to come here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Petals - everywhere has changed! We lived in UK for 9 months when Blair was the new kid on the block and had been there the year before when Princess Diana died. We were back there again for 3 moneed themnths returning about 15 months ago and we always marvel at the changes. Some things were much better than here. For example, whilst we are (according to last night's news) going to get a police helicopter at last for Queensland - just one - in the UK the police have about 17 plus access to countless more when they need them - we are so slow here to catch onto things that work in other countries. How many lives could have been saved if the police hadn't done so many dangerous car chases on busy roads here or in the dark. The variety of food and the prices blew us away (yes I know prices have increased over there like here in the past year) because of the brilliant competition over there. Some of the consumer watch dogs actually have teeth over there and can act on unfair practices. When the whole of Europe and America ban certain medicines or dangerous chemicals, we have to battle for years thereafter to get them banned here, if at all! I could go on and on. We cannot bag either country for crime/prices/weather and such because all have changed throughout the world. We are looking forward and our personal future appears to be England. Perhaps in 5 years time we'll come home! There will be no regrets as there would be if we didn't do what our hearts are telling us now and we'll live with the changes like we do here. We spent three months in Uk in 2010 and rented holiday lets all the time so had to cater for ourselves etc so know what its like and me give me Aus. You have to realise there are nearly seventy million people living in an area the size of Victoria and we are only what 24,25million. So its crowded over there, they need all those helecopters' So we should not chase people who are breaking the law, the police should not try to retrieve someone's stolen car because the perpetrator might be hurt. Come on we want more law and order and more catching, them its a farce all this law stuff and rights what about victims rights. In the UK its far to pc for me as well. I love to visit the family look at the green fields, then get back on the big bird to my home in Aus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 We spent three months in Uk in 2010 and rented holiday lets all the time so had to cater for ourselves etc so know what its like and me give me Aus. You have to realise there are nearly seventy million people living in an area the size of Victoria and we are only what 24,25million. So its crowded over there, they need all those helecopters' So we should not chase people who are breaking the law, the police should not try to retrieve someone's stolen car because the perpetrator might be hurt. Come on we want more law and order and more catching, them its a farce all this law stuff and rights what about victims rights. In the UK its far to pc for me as well. I love to visit the family look at the green fields, then get back on the big bird to my home in Aus. That's why we need many more police helicopters to catch the crims - far safer than road chases where so many times other innocent drivers get hurt and the potential for accidents is immense - far safer from the air as I saw the last night on TV in Brisbane. The crims can't get away. What I cannot understanded is why it has taken so long to get one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam W Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 Thank you to everyones it does help to find out you are not alone in ones yearning.it has helped me I am going later this year and I plan to downsize in 2015 and that is probably when I will move back to UK.i have been very happy in Perth and my daughter will stay but I think I will retire to the land of my birth whilst I am still fit and able .i have really enjoyed getting everyone's thought and comments so please keep the, coming pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest David PlumbingHeating Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I would stay where you are if you had any sense. The UK is dead for work and the supermarkets are taking and diversifying into trademens work now. The price of diesel is £1.46 per ltr there is no work about for me as a tradesman. This is why i want to move out the UK. Weather last year in the summer was mostly rain. Property is so over priced and nothing is selling or moving. Come to the UK to exisit and loose your money to the TAXMAN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisrich 5 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi Pam , i know how you feel because i went back for two weeks in 2009 and returned in june 2010 to spent what ever time i wanted to ,we ended up staying 16 months and loved every minute of being there and everything about the country ,and in fact we have just listed out house and as soon as it sells we are returning back home to spend the last years of out life there and make the most of what England has to offer .still very proud to call it home . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AKA63029 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi Pam. Sixty is the new fifty apparently, so still loads of living to be done matey.:yes: I don't know if 100 will be the new 90, but in the meantime, go for your life Pam. I am approaching fifty (the new forty,:biglaugh:) and whilst I long to get back to OZ I can see where you are coming from. Who knows, maybe when I am in my very late life I 'may' return to the UK, but as you say, whilst fit and well do what makes you happy matey. Cheers Tony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I would stay where you are if you had any sense. The UK is dead for work and the supermarkets are taking and diversifying into trademens work now. The price of diesel is £1.46 per ltr there is no work about for me as a tradesman. This is why i want to move out the UK. Weather last year in the summer was mostly rain. Property is so over priced and nothing is selling or moving. Come to the UK to exisit and loose your money to the TAXMAN. I suggest you check out the price of real estate in Oz before leaving and nothing is selling here either. A really good site is http://www.realestate.com.au and you can pick which state and then town. If you are interested in rental prices you can use the same site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi i wondered if it is just me or is this is a common experience. I emigrated as a young wife and mum in 1981. I have for the most part prospered here and my children are grown up And doing well. My youngest daughter moved to Canada with her husband and may stay. My oldest daughter is very settled here as a single parent with her 10 yr old son. its just me,I'm 60 this year and I physically ache for England. The soft wet weather,the humor,the family and relatives I have there. I think this was started off by my daughter moving to Canada and I know UK is going through a hard time but I just long for the countryside and things that I can't seem to put my finger on. Would appreciate any thoughts from anyone:laugh::xmas2:Pam w :GEEK: ............would just like to share my experience and thoughts.................I have found recently........and as I get older my needs and wants have changed.............my sons have moved on with partners who have no intention of me ever being included in anything in their lives..............and although the son's try to visit they have their own journey's path to follow..............a d throw in a bit of ill health and the past looks so much more attractive..............but I do realise that to return to the uk of my memories is not possible..............family have long since passed on.............fields and walkways have become housing estates and shopping centres....................the corner shop had closed and the people have moved on with the times..............not livving in the time warp .........I remember of 20 odd years ago................so my point being that each new phase in our lives........brings with it new challenges............and sometimes reaching for the familiar is not always the answer ........as it has often grown and changed with time .. .......as we do...............so is it the past we yearn for............the safe familiar comfort .................that sometimes will disappoint............as it is no longer .....the same............where ever you choose to live..............perhaps a dry run of the uk........a trial before commitment..?.................to try to ensure contentment of this new part of your journey..................... I wish you well with whatever you decide to do..............Tink x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunni1234 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Your last word 'home' that is the operative word, that should paint a picture for all of those with any shadow of doubt, I notice that a lot of people that have moved here still class the UK as back home, Australia is a great place but for some of us it will never be home, it's just an acceptable location that we have moved to in search of something!! although some are not sure of exactly what? all you hear is the sun and the lifestyle but is that truly what people look for or do we just get bored with our mundane lifestyles in the country that we were born and constantly look for something better? I am one of those that will live here until I have had enough, but I will be returning home someday to rest my weary bones and couldn't bear the thought to have to be buried here, so many miles from the place I know as "home" 'green grass, rolling hills and a smell of fresh air that is unmistakeable on a cool fresh winters morning'.. Enjoy reading your posts. Have i read it correctly that you travel every 3 months back to blighty? wow how come? just curious. Have you left family there? cheers sunni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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