Sunshine111

depends on so much & your situation. We did a house renovation/sale/re-location in 7 mths & 2 little uns in tow 5 yrs & 1 yrs. Tho' we were just mega ready to go home, so might say alittle overripe! Our main motivator was trying to get our son into school year 1 for the September (we arrived in early August - whole process started late January) However, lots of things we should have brought & didnt & a few things along the way where we dropped the ball but we got our goal of school sorted so that was the main thing. So I guess depends on what your main motivator or goal is & your stress pain threshhold! good luck.

great post! house affordability is definately a starting point, before rentals & school catchment. Look for somewhere you want to be according to the lifestyle you are after, there are lots of beautiful places in the UK. We are near the South Downs which in my opinion looks a little bit like places in New Zealand. Tho' when I told a friend that lives there that, she wouldnt believe me & took umbridge! ha! ha! The internet is a wonderful tool, just do your research. We did all ours from Oz in terms of deciding on area & have to say, we are very happy where we are.

Hi Mrs Plum, exciting next chapter for you! Check ofsted reports re schools in the areas you choose. I found them very benefical when we moved our son 6 mths ago, who was also 5 yrs. We were looking for a good village school & have been very fortunate!. (tho' there were a few in the area) We are in West Sussex. He is thriving in a positive supportive environment, because he didnt do reception here, he is getting a recap for reading & literacy. You can find out so much on the internet. The trick is trying to get a rental in the school catchment. Ofsted is good because it tells you about the schools & from an early years perspective a very useful tool from the other side of the world, let alone being in the same country!

ha ha! Too true Petals, i think I am reaching that stage of too hard, because emotionally it is becoming so draining along with trying to keep up with x2 little ones 5 yrs & nearly 2yrs, am having to evaluate my priorities or manage stress levels! Trouble is, when its your Mum & Dad its hard because I kind of feel morally obligated, perhaps that is the can of worms that has been opened on returning. They utterly hate each other too, so cant even have them in the same room for any birthdays/events for boys. think the cracks were always there with mine, although now I realise they were really complicated great gigantic ravines! think back to all that time ago, when I had it in my head about going to Oz as a young something 19 yr old, (when I look back then, struggling with family issues) I liked the thought that alot of people were in the same boat re not having family there. Family was certainly something I was looking at through rose tinted glasses, not to say I was expecting things to be plain sailing but wasnt expecting such choppy waters either! Knew I had my work cut out but I'd changed & I assumed they had too. However, thankfully we are at least an hour from anyone, so is actually possible to limit contact or if things get really bad, result to no contact! Have realised our way forward is to build & become part of the fab community we have moved too. That in itself has been a good reason for moving back (thankfully!)

Families are funny things. I have fond memories of growing up in a small village community in the UK & have managed to find something similar for our children, which has started us off on a good footing. Just had to look outside of our hometown/area for it. Grew up in that village with no family apart from my mum & younger sister (regular contact with my Dad & x2 wonderful sets of grandparents which we regularily saw on holidays) & a friend base that was fantastic, always someone to play with, if you went down the local park! so never felt any level of loneliness or isolation, like we as a family felt, towards the end of our time in Perth. Strange as it sounds & even with all its problems I am glad to be able to jump in a car to access family and to be honest its my family that are more the problem, hadnt realised how big egos both my parents had & they arent even together!! & it is that part that I am finding hard to manage, along with a stepmum who seems to feel I/we are in competition for my Dad's attention! so hampers the potential relationship he could be having with his only grandchildren. (has always been the case I just hadnt recognised it & being much younger as a kid,thought it was me or something I had done when she used to blow hot & cold) Another sister barely has the time of day & is a very superficial relationship On a positive note, my hubbies mum is a delight to watch with the kids & one of my sisters (half) & husband have been the best auntie & uncle ever! I guess I am trying to salvage something from the "extended family" rightly or wrongly for the boys... My vision of what life was going to be like with family is not how it has turned out, but you are right re putting certain ghosts to bed, I would always have been hankering after "what if" In someways, I have found some peace from it, ie. its not me, its them! ha! ha! so from that perspective has been good therapy, don't think even scooby doo has laid more ghosts to bed or solved more mysteries than me re; family! ha! ha! The main thing is, I & hubby feel we have got our sense of belonging back, by being back! & somewhere we want to be long term for the kids.. Felt so lost in Perth towards the end, detached/lonely/isolated..... everything else will find its level... The challenge is really that we are starting again, trying to build friendships which where ever you move to in the world, takes time. Certainly can relate to the old saying "you can chose your friends but not your family!" but summer is around the corner & went for a beautiful walk up in the fields earlier, blue skies, daffs out & buds on the trees & felt a real sense of peace.....

Good on you, isn't it fantastic to have so many options. We had a fantastic adventure in Oz & Nz over a 12 yr period living & travelling around there & I think they'll always be apart of us that will always have that little travelbug! but have seen nothing of the UK, (even tho' spent first 24 yrs living in it!) so looking forward to getting out & about. Should be enough to keep us going for a little whilst at least! wishing you all the best on your next chapter:)

Sounds like the honeymoon period has worn off? They say it can take up to 2 yrs to really settle. Could you peel back the layers of why you want to return? what is missing from your life now? Or are you just after another adventure? Got to say on a bad day, there is a part of me that wants to run back, not because of the Uk but because I want to run away from having to deal with certain family members..... one in particular, who has made live very difficult for us since our return. More to the point, can I share the same country as this person!! The hardest part of the move for me has been trying to pick up with a very dis-jointed mixed family. I am glad our return wasnt just for family reasons or we would have been very disappointed & on a plane straight back to somewhere new within Oz!! Luckily for us we have chosen a great spot & my kids are really benefiting in so many other ways from the return & the things missing from their lives in Perth. Seeing my eldest thrive here has kept us on the straight & narrow! our kids are happy. we're happy! good luck with whatever you decide. There is no right or wrong, is what makes you happy as a family.

had exactly the same response from some. including "you must be mad" & always a story of someone, who knew someone, who had done the same but they came back (to Oz)... Having returned last August, I realise all that worry & stress of how bad the country was & could a move back work? completely blown out of proportion! Yes it has been challenging for us because we have been away 10 yrs & have x2 little un's in tow & family at least an hour away - our choice! (my family is split but the kind of family that can call on each other if times are tough. e.g. had one time in oz, where could have done with that! with new baby,toddler, hubby away & me really ill & a limited support base to call upon without feeling I was putting on them, as most were in the same boat with young kids/babies) the return has started to come together & there is a real sense of peace to be able to feel you can commit somewhere long term, especially for the kids. My eldest has slotted in so well over here, like he's been here all his life. (today dropped him off to school & he was greeted by x2 of his chums & they all gave each other hugs when they saw each other!) Was easy to move him from Perth but couldnt dream of moving him now, would be far harder!!

Go with your gut feeling, sounds like you are working thorough it & will come up with the answer. Ask yourself why you left the UK? is it anything that can be tweaked if you return? Tricky with kids at the ages yours are. My experience of Perth was exciting for the first x2 yrs because it was somewhere new & living in the sun was a novelty but then its remoteness & isolation became all too apparent to keep us long term & we quickly outgrew it, more so as my eldest approached school age & we found ourselves needing to make a long term commitment. (we arrived as a couple that grew into a family of x4, with young kids under 5 yrs & no family there) good luck, you will find the answers.

really interesting to read that, cause I experienced the same whilst in Perth. My 5 yr old was invited to a pirate party & some of the mums weren't happy about the pirate theme and whilst there, there was subtle discouragement of the kids pretending to be pirates with balloons at swords. Another interesting moment, was out on a playdate & another Mum not happy that the kids were playing with water pistols... I actually found it tricky trying to navigate through it, because I started questioning my own values & actually started discouraging my eldest from doing the very things I had played as a kid.... To be honest, wondered whether it was a reflection of the times, but since being back have realised it isnt. strange.

Harder because in someways, it is like unpicking some knitting, because if you leave for a "better life" & thought that the UK had no future, & then down the track, decide to return back to the Uk, then you are having to completely change a mindset & thought process. Thrown in on top of that kids/education/finances etc & how many years you have been away & the odd flick on to read the Daily Mail & what is "alledgedly" going on in the Uk and you create a mountain of fear, that you find yourself thinking, it would be easier to wrestle a great white.... ha! ha! Takes a tremendous amount of courage to leave the UK but takes double the amount to return to it.....

what a fantastic post. I too was following your return & sooo happy to hear you are settling well. I remember that feeling myself when I returned, is soo hard to explain until you have been there. Amazing feeling of completeness, once you get back your sense of belonging. Onwards & upwards, take care x

Completely relate to this! Think if we hadnt of found our little neck of the woods in Sussex (pardon the pun, is the countryside we most lurve!) & if our son hadnt settled so well into school, perhaps we could have been ping pongers too. who know? tho' wouldnt have returned to Perth, but probably tried Sydney because we have fond memories & we enjoyed it there, many years ago, as backpackers! We are just fortunate that we have found a great spot, where we want to be & feel at home. Fits with our family outdoor lifestyle. With the bonus of London, easy distance one way & beaches 25-35 mins t he other way. Inbetween some great little villages with good community spirits. We are also near enough to family but not too close so we too can be independent (at least an hour) but dont get to miss any family gatherings or Christmas etc. My sister gets married this year & we would have missed that had we been in Oz. When we left 10 yrs ago, we were 20 somethings who after having a fantastic years holiday works visa, touring around Oz & Nz returned to quite an industrial town in the Uk, along the M4 corrider. Found it hard to settle, didnt look much beyond out of it, to be honest, but decided we wanted a "better life" & Uk couldnt offer that - judged purely on that one town! (really we were after an adventure, when I think about it now....) So off we went to Nz first, then Perth & lived in various places, cities/really rural/somewhere inbetween & 10 yrs on with x2 young kids under 5 yrs, we just had a pull to go home. Strange, never saw it coming....! think having the kids changed our perspective in what we wanted out of life, long term.... Think it depends perhaps on what you are leaving behind. If you depart an area that you loathe or have convinced yourself has no future, then its in your best interests to not return to it. If you left a fantastic area/family/friend network & left for Oz for work reasons/adventure, knowing you would return to it, maybe its easier to return to it....? Perhaps when we left all that time ago, we didnt really know what we wanted & we needed to leave & try new places/things to really make us know what we actually wanted & grow as people.... So much we dont take for granted now!

What i was trying to highlight is that most Head Offices are in Sydney or Melbourne so perhaps for a career path & depending on what industry you are in, then you increase your opportunites with a better spread of industries across all job sectors in those x2 capitals. Especially if you are a youngster, also more going on socially. Sorry to say but Perth hub just doesnt cut the mustard. Everyone is different & I can only talk from my own experience but there seemed to be so many people that had their families spreadout all over Oz & I just didnt want that for mine, we got the best of both worlds were we are, living semi-rurally & London up the road for when/if they chase the bright lights, so to speak.....! Each to their own.

Firstly Petal, can I just say I really like your profile pic. Is that your garden? looks fabulous! Children not only need wings but roots too & your upbringing sounds very unsettling. Not good for kids at at all, with parents with itchy feet, wonder where you would feel you belong....? I have also heard so many stories of the other way around, with people who have emmigrated older kids to Australia only to find that they return to the UK. Can I think, become so messy. It depends on so much & probably most importantly the age of the kids. Something to consider when moving either way. What is plan b, if one of your kids desperately wants to return to their country of origin? We were fortunate in that our kids were under 5 yrs when we returned to the Uk. Bit like you, I want our kids to have security & be in a place we could commit to for the long term, but that was not Oz or Nz but the UK. We really did not like Perth, perhaps we could have re-located to Sydney, (tho' has changes so much, since we lived there as backpackers 10 yrs ago & become so costly) but was all a bit risky . Kids came first & to be honest, probably would have solved only 1/2 our issues. Funny enough, I want for them what I had as a child. I grew up in a village with a wonderful community, had parents divorce in the mix & no family apart from my Mum in the area but was never lonely. Have very fond memories of that time and have returned & fortunately found something very similar for our kids. Great community,fantastic early childhood system, lots of facilities for kids, open space, access to extended family during Christmas/family gathering & along with opportunities for them further down the track. One thing that concerned me about Perth, was how many when they got older, left it for Sydney & Melbourne or Uk. Not sure there is enough there to keep them & actually alot do the O.E & head to the bright lights of London. (which bemused me intially, because having lived with it on my doorstep I could not understand the attraction! tho' having been away from it, I can now!) Some actually not returning.... I just didnt want my family spread all over the country because they had to due to lack of opportunity in their field. Not like UK, where at least if you want to see someone you just jump in the car! Depending on what you do for work in Perth (construction/mining/government industries) outside of that & you got to up sticks. Opportunity is everywhere not just specific to one country. Depends really what you are after. For alot I think it is an adventure. There are those that recognise that & those that maybe dress it up as wanting a "better life" No place can guarantee that, it is very much down to you the individual, one thing I can say is, for us, Australia was a fabulous adventure but there is no place like home....

You are right, moving back to the UK doesnt bring any guarantees & its definately not an easy thing to do. Possibly, the longer you are away, the bigger the detachment of your root system to the UK. (so to speak, sounds like a plant I know! but maybe in someways similar) the harder you have to work, to get it back (if at all, for some) Depends on so many things, including; how good the life you left behind in Oz was and what you are returning to in the Uk. When I look back, I think it would have been far easier to have returned within 5 yrs, rather than our 10 yrs, we are a little out of sink since our return, but we are getting there,slowly building our root system! I think that when you leave for a "better life" (rather than an adventure) you naturally create a detachment, that becomes more of a challenge to re-connect if you do decide to return. Mainly because you have changed so much as a person & the old life/people left behind havent changed much if at all. Hence the reason to consider moving somewhere new in the UK to return to & a place that you are excited about - whether that be job opportunities or pursing a hobby etc. Effectively you need to create a new life for yourself. Like I say, think it depends what life you have in Oz, determining a return to the UK. We were pretty miserable in Perth & all our family was in Uk although not the kind of family that pops in for tea, from round the corner (they are at least 1 hr up road) but still, we wanted access to them, especially parents who are getting older... Just out of interest, is most of your family in Australia? are you 2nd generation? If your Mum/Dad & children are in Australia, wld make you feel very differently to someone who had one or the other in different countries, I am sure. It is true to say, perhaps it doesnt matter where you are in the world, so long as you have your family all together. For those that don't, that is where the problem comes in. There are no right or wrongs, every individual is different, views the world differently, has different expectations & wants different things from life and at different times in their lives... completely understand why you would just do year by year, is good to hear your daughter is clear, wishing you all the very best. Makes you realise how precious life is... x

Maybe it's the distance rather than a reflection of Oz for some? Wonder if for alot of people, if they could just pop back everynow & again & touchbase with their roots, that would put some of it to bed, so to speak... though, I met one lady who said she left Essex in the 1970's wanting a better life for her boys, more space etc.. now in retirement age she goes back to UK once a year & said she lurves it & wondered why she had left, cause it was all there, she just needed to have moved a bit further out of Essex!

Its great to have options & how exciting for you re your next chapter! I think if we'd been mortgage free, would have been a difficult decision re returning & also think that if we had older kids, wld have been tricky too. We seem to catch a small wave or a window of opportunity on "timing being right to return home" & just went with it. I look back now & think there were a couple of other opportunites to return or "timing being right" but we either didnt see them or werent ready. Completely agree on your post, remember the mundane-ness & being out with dog & thinking, ahh but life is easy should we stay...... although also knowing there would always have been that little niggle, which the longer we stayed just got bigger!

ooo remember that heat, one of the reasons for returning! When we decided to return home, poor hubby worked outside for 3 months renovating our house for sale in it. We swore we will never do a Perth summer, even if we got to give our house away! What you are feeling now, we didnt feel until further down the track, partly for the novelty factor - perhaps it took a little longer to wear off for us! but I can tell you that once we reached the decision to return, you've never seen a family of x4 move so fast! Nobody has or is walking in your shoes, if you are ready to go home & you have done what you set out to do, go home. Dont prolong it, life is too short & dont feel you got to justify yourself either. We went on an emotional rollercoaster, of shall we/shan't we we go home, probably the hardest part, but once you've decided it gets easier & takes you out of limbo mode... Go with your gut feeling. It is most usually right. good luck.

I remember that feeling! Just to echo the sentiments of above posts. We were sooo desperate in the end that we settled our house & flew out the same day. (never again, serious stress, mainly because we had a 5 & 1yr old in tow!) On another note, you are nearly there. Hooray! Time to start drawing up a plan for your new UK life. Research everything, where you want to live//what hobbies you want to pursue/where they are? Do you want a town/rural. How far from family? house prices etc. Plan your holidays for the next year or two even! where in Europe?! Perhaps all the things you currently have missing or realise you want to do. We were so absorbed with leaving Oz, that we didnt give as much thought/planning to being back in UK. Was so focused on getting there. Was well worth it too, just about floated through Heathrow airport.... ha! ha! Mind you, once you get that sense of belonging back, everything else comes together... Good luck to you & your return "home"

Hi Clark, Depends on where you are & your situation. Do you have kids or are you just on your own/in a couple? If the later, I would say get out & explore the rest of the country. It is a wonderful place for an adventure. When hubby & I backpacked 10 yrs or more a go, we lurved it. Were on a holiday works visa. Worked in Sydney & travelled all around Oz on a mccafferty bus. Met great people & saw some amazing landscapes. Out of all the places I have lived, Perth is in actual fact my least favourite. It is like a country of itself, is so isolated & far removed from the rest of Oz, that after living 5 yrs there I found it very insular & attitudes alot to be desired. When we were leaving a couple of different people said to me it didnt used to be like that, that the mining boom had caused a great deal of greed. Not sure how true that is... cost of living never used to be that high & cost of buying a house used to one of the cheaper cities. Part of the reason we moved there. We arrived & had our kids there & to be honest got bored of the place after about 2-3yrs. Novelty wore off & with nothing keeping us there, re family connections was time to move on.... So long as you aren't commiting the rest of your life to the place & have a plan for what you want to achieve & places you want to see when you are there, you'll be fine. Met so many people that got stuck (for want of a better word) in Perth, either been there for a long time e.g 3-40yrs & time ran away with them & quite bitter or had kids, who had made friends etc.....

Funny how things fall into place, when it is meant to be. Wonderful time to be coming back, daffodils are starting to come out & out with my youngest this morning and he picked his first ever daisy!! funny the things you miss! Good luck with your next chapter....

[:cute: . I agree, i think before you return to the Uk, you do need to ensure you feel you have really "given it a go," otherwise it creates another type of "what if" maybe they'll always be an element of you that looks over your shoulder thinking "if only I had done this/changed that etc"... moved to another part of oz/changed the job/got out there & made more friends etc. Tho' it is an individual thing,some people just know they dont want to spend the rest of their life there from the start. I think the biggest mistake we made was assuming we were going to spend the rest of our live in Australia. Hadnt realised the enormaty of that commitment. It is true to say it is down to the individual to get out there, but does also depend on how the community they move to responds to their efforts to become part of it and the wider community in the long term, especially if they move to Oz with no family/friends/contacts. Live can be very lonely/isolating once the intial honeymoon period has worn off. Patience & perservence in making those new friendships/contacts is key as they can take years. A biggie of all tho is.... what as individuals are they leaving behind in the UK. (family/lifestyle) especially if they are leaving for a "better life" rather than a couple of years adventure.... A solid plan is what is needed before you leave....(whether that be uk to oz or oz to uk) e.g. lets give it 6mths/12mth2yrs etc and review how we feel as a family. So many factors in the mix that can crop up along the way but with those review points, it helps to keep tabs on how you are tracking... emotional etc/what your goals are/issues/how to combat them etc. Or, we just need to return to UK or Oz! We were away 10 yrs, we changed as people and to be honest I think Oz changed too & the two no longer become compatiable! We had a wonderful adventure but after 10 yrs & something I never saw coming, we suddenly had this strong pull to go home.. I also could not understand why people would want to return to the Uk but now I have done it, I completely get it. Been back 7months. Not been easy but seeing our two kids thriving, especially my eldest who is 5 yrs, warms the cockles of my heart! I certainly dont regret my time in Oz & NZ, taught me alot about myself/met some great people & saw some fantastic places but neither do I regret coming home. Sometimes you just know when or if the time is right & for us & we felt we exhausted it and so are not looking over our shoulder wondering whether we should have done that or changed that to make it work. Rather we have accepted it was a great chapter in our lives but not where our future lay.... good luck with your next chapter & keep an open mind.

brilliant, I lurve this post! We have actually returned after 10 yrs & although some challenges along the way, benefits far outway the negatives. Eldest has better early years schooling, loads of friendly playgroups & activities do for kids, lurve being able to go outside & play most times of the year, rather than trying to cope with that searing heat! fab village community, countryside walks, so much to see & do. perhaps we just needed to go away to open our eyes...... Re-locating to a new area has helped us, nice to go back to the old home town but think it would have been a bad move to return to it. Being away, you change so much as people...