Helz980

Well folks after posting here I think in January about being so miserable & homesick. I've had an up & down year. One of the turning points was being referred by my doctor to see a counsellor. It was the best thing I did as it helped me regain my strength & have the ability to say how I felt without collapsing in an emotional heap. I've gone from the woman who sat on the kitchen floor crying & my young daughter wiping my tears away to someone who has said right oz isn't for me & I'm moving back. I returned nee to the uk end of July on holiday & as soon as I landed at newcastle airport I felt right again. That sick feeling had gone, when we drove up the road to my parents house & Olivia saw the farm & ran out into the garden I just knew. After a a few weeks I finally told my husband I didn't want to go back to oz, he replied as he always did with you are deluded, England is ****, the lifestyle is better there blah blah, & oz is the place I want to be. Anyway he returned back to oz for work & we had a 2 hour argument on the phone (much needed!) & I said if you want to stay in oz, do it but I'm not going through what I did to which he replied that was all in my own head. But with my stronger resolve I'd already applied for a job, got an interview etc. Only to have a less heated chat which we've both agreed to live in oz for 6 months, plan & strategise the move home properly & begin a new chapter back home. So there you go, nearly there :smile: & so so happy

Hello!! I'm home at the moment been back since end July! Been all over the place including having a boozey night away in Ambleside. Nothing beats the Northumberland pubs either or countryside or fresh air! Have fun!

I honestly think oz is a beautiful, fantastic country but its not for me & I would love to move back home so I'm heading home 28th July on a decision making mission. I've pretty much read most of the posts on the mbttuk thread because I was looking for support & maybe answers as to why I didn't want to be here. But after time I've come to realise nobody else can tell me where I will be happiest, nobody can tell me which country is better, nobody can tell me I'm crazy for wanting to leave the sunshine & nobody can tell me I'm stupid for wanting to leave oz & return to the uk. Who cares what the stats say, it's only a bloody number after all.

Lovely to hear your update! You actually 'sound' more at peace with yourself & that's great!!! Enjoy your time Hun xx

Too many to list!! Flying home 28th July for a 'holiday' so will enjoy all the uk bits & bobs that I miss xx

Thanks both! I must admit to feeling a bit funny about it all like some of the old feelings from January have cropped up again

Hello all well I've made it to July!! Back in January when I was desperate to go home I didn't think I would last 7 months! But 28th July I fly home with hubby & Olivia even though oh had specifically said that he wouldn't go home. Also giving up the lease on current place & putting everything in storage....so this means that dependent on my decision 'stay in the uk' or come back to oz we will move to a diff area. All I can think about is landing at Newcastle airport & seeing my family. It's been a long slog but I feel like a stronger person & capable of making decisions xx

Congrats my 2 year old has just been granted her PR visa ?

I've been off a while too & it bugs the life out of me those that have not been here yet but still seem to have the answers! But why the hell be looking at a mbtuk group anyway?! I have 1 child, I don't want anymore whilst I'm in oz, I couldn't cope tbh! Plus I was kinda thrust into motherhood as Olivia wasn't planned! I don't really like kids tbh lol well I love my own!!

Hadn't finished!! .....I started my business venture so that I've got something for me & Olivia in case me & Paul split up. Which was looking the case but now we are talking about my wish to go home & listening to each other. The main thing is I'm not scared anymore! I just want to say thanks for the support, this group was my haven during the dark times, but now I can see the sun shining xx

Wow! I haven't posted in a while! So then what's been happening?! Well I started seeing a counsellor & honestly it was the best thing I've ever done. It was very hard to begin with as it was difficult to process but at my penultimate session I walked in head held high, smiling & looking & feeling like me. I will admit that I was depressed but now am stronger. I can talk to hubby & I know that when I need to make a decision I will make it with a clear head & a light heart. I've found a great friend in a girl whose not long been here, we've been out on the razz in Sydney & have fun together with her little boy & my little girl! I've also started my own business venture & the beauty of it is I can do it from the UK as well

North Tyne valley in Northumberland bamburgh....beautiful coast line & a great golf course marlow in bucks

That's fantastic news!!!! I wish you all the very best!!

Que sera I agree!! & my other half now knows it when I told him in a tirade that I couldn't stay in a place where I was unhappy

I've gone through the calendar & put down all Olivia's activities, when people are coming, potential days out to places, when I need to give notice for her daycare so the calendar isn't bare anymore (even though I know she goes to playgroup on a Tuesday it's good to see the day filled up) & now when I look the time doesn't look as far away. Havebt had that chat with hubby though as he came back from night shift & was just home for less than 2 days. He's got a long weekend though so I will talk then, bit scared tbh hughes why's up?

Yep!! Currently seeing a counsellor as am lucky to have a good GP here however one doctor practically threw pills at me & I said no that not what I need. I'm a strong person & have always 'gotten on with it' since 2012 I've moved to oz, fell pregnant with triplets 3 days before I flew, lost twins at 19 weeks but carried them, 28 weeks my 'survivor' was born & spent 6 weeks in special care (albeit in the uk) & I came back here start of 2013 & I was 'happy' but deep down the strongest person can only take so much. Having no family around or comfort blanket has exasperated issues that were buried deep & unfortunately they have risen to the surface. All am saying is its not Australia's fault I feel like this, it's a great country, all I know in my heart is that the UK is where I need to be.

I thought you had stayed in oz while your wife went back with the kids?

Do you resent her for 'making' you do this?

Thanks so much for all your kind words, it's good to know that I've got people on here who understand how am feeling. I'm going to talk to my hubby about booking my flights now, even if it means chucking it on a credit card. I think I do know what I want & that's to head home & feel whole again. I had a long chat with my mam last night & although I spent most of the call in tears I did feel better for it. She said chin up Helen & it's not long until July. I will get there I've been through enough in my life to know that things do get better it just takes a bit of time xx

Aww buttercup, you have just said exactly how I feel. If you are crying inside it doesn't matter if the bloody sun is shining! Are you back home now?

I always said it wasn't forever & tbh I don't think I really wanted to come in the first place! Thanks i need somewhere to vent!

you are so right Sustain..I have my daughter that is more than some people can ever wish for. & I thank my lucky stars that I was incredibly blessed to have her, she is my world.

I do think my friend is trying to convince herself, her baby is 6months old & shes been in oz for 5 years & just recently spoke about going back home. But yeh if you want your kids to do something, you will go out & find it, no matter where you. Only thing will be the added bonus of family around to enjoy those times as well. as for the counsellor maybe because I opened the door on emotions etc that i'd kept hidden for so long & they came to the surface, I basically spilled my guts so to speak. SO I think I just needed a few days to think. Paul asked me how it went & whether it had helped, I just said that it was more scene setting & that I wouldn't know after the first session. I mean in 2 years I've left a career, went to another country, got pregnant, lost twins, baby born premature......that's a lot to contend with. I just know that when I land at Newcastle airport that weight will be lifted :-) ive not heard that saying before but I like it!

thanks verystormy for your reply, you are so right. I only get one chance at life & I don't want to spend it being miserable & therefore having a detrimental effect on my daughter. I am a strong person (just shes hiding a bit at the moment) & I do have the capability to begin again if I have to

hes stopped talking about it, am pretty sure its just an elephant in the room. But then again he just wants to fix things & I believe that's what he thinks the counsellor will do. I said to my friend Olivia will do lots of things but it will be different to OZ like we wont near a beach but we will have my parents farm to enjoy as well as ponies for her. I must admit Olivia goes to a lot of playgroups etc because it gets me out of the house & I see my friends as well as the time goes by quickly. & yes lynne it bugs the hell out of me when folk say that, my oh says it all the time.