A view on Emigration – from the mother left behind

A view on Emigration – from the mother left behind!

Twelve years ago my son and wife informed me that they were planning to leave England and emigrate to Melbourne, Australia. Although I tried to be supportive to their goal I found it very difficult emotionally, especially as they had three children that I loved very much.  Looking back I went into denial and believed it would never happen.

It was actually a longer process than they imagined as they had some setbacks and delays.  As it came to the last couple of months before their departure, I cried every time I thought about it.  At that point I could not envisage ever flying the long distance to Australia, especially as I hated flying. It felt like I might never see them again in person, unless they returned for visits.

They left in June 2006 after spending the last couple of nights at our house. We hosted a farewell party for them, and I cried even more tears. Even though I did have a wonderful husband, another two sons, a job and hobbies, I still felt very bereft.

Before they departed my son set me up with Skype to keep in contact, which was a great help.  Also in the first year I sent regular parcels of small presents to the children, or small items the family had needed to leave behind.

However within months of them leaving I knew I was going to have to overcome the worry about the flight. It helped that I had other family in Melbourne too, who had always tried to persuade us to visit them.  I had an aunt and uncle, cousin and niece. My aunt had left in the 1960’s but we had always stayed in touch by letters, phone, and her family’s visits back to England.  

What helped me pluck up courage to visit was my uncle telling me the journey was only “A day out of my life”,  being that the average quickest flight was about 24 hours length. I eventually got researching prices on the internet and booked the flight, knowing that once booked I would not dare back out due to the cost!

Our first visit, which was for four weeks felt quite an adventure, and all went smoothly with flights. Once there we alternated between both families, and in between went sightseeing around Melbourne.

 It was great to see both families’ homes, the grandchildren’s schools, and have a taste of Australian life, including the good weather and a BBQ.  Our first sight of kangaroos hopping towards us on one of our trips was delightful. My husband was treated to a trip to the Melbourne Cricket Ground.  In fact we had a very busy and interesting time.  However saying goodbyes again was very difficult – I could hardly speak at the airport as I was so choked up again.

Also having returned in November the “loss” of my family hit me again. As Christmas approached back in England, the shops selling toys would upset me.   I had previously always loved buying presents for the grandchildren, but due to postal costs I was now limited to only smaller items I could post.  Indeed that first Christmas period felt very different than those previously. It was the first Christmas I had not seen my son.

Within two years we had booked to return again. The anxiety about flying was less this time as I told myself it had been fine the first time. Obviously it is tiring and a little uncomfortable but I focused on what I was going towards – seeing my family again.

We have now visited six times in the last twelve years, both to my aunt’s home in Melbourne, and to various other parts of Australia due to my son’s relocations.

Over time I came to terms with their emigration, and look forward to our visits there. Therefore to anyone in the same position I would recommend you visit if you are physically and financially in a  position to do so.  It does help to see where they live and how.

Australia has such a wealth of attractions to offer and is well worth the visit. It would not normally have be on my trip list, but  I now feel I have been very fortunate to have sampled the landscapes, the  buildings, the wildlife, the beaches and some magnificent shopping centres.. We always take lots of photographs and I spend many an hour viewing them on my computer. I also hope we have supported my son and family by our visits.

 Mrs J.D., Lancashire, England.