Should we stay or should we go??????????

Hello everyone:spinny:

The reason im writing this some of you may not know us but we joined PIO years ago when we first applied. Anyway looking at the thread cat 3s where are you now we should be geting a case officer soon, not sure how long but this is the closest we have ever been to getting the visa in 3 years.

They changed the goal posts so so many times and we kind of gave up ever getting to oz and we got on with our lives, prob thinking back it was probably the wrong thing to do as now we have moved on im so confused as to weither we want to go or not. Some of you would probably want to rip my arm of to be where we are right now sorry.

Our oldest son has judt started secondary school and loves it, we were meant to be over there before he started we wernt even going to visit schools orriganly. We went to Florida this summer and spent lots of money doing that so gonna take us a while to pay that back. Do i want to leave a job here i love which is working in an neonatal unit (im a nursery nurse) and earning very good money, and i will NEVER be able to do that over there as they only have RNs. Our daughter is very clever and whilst being only 8 we have been told she can do her 11+ next year which means she can go to a grammer school, AAARRRHHHGGG THIS IS SO HARD.

Will we be better off over there im not so sure, will we earn more money NO prob not, will we have a house with a pool rob YES, will it be a better life i think so.

One of my very good friends said follow your heart, unfortunetly my heart i think is saying stay her, im just gutted its taken so so long because this time last year we would have been jumping for joy. Another thing is Rickies TRA was done in August 08 maybe its run out now!

The practical side of things would be:

1) get meds done

2) fly out if we can get the money to valadte the visa

3) Decide, decide, decide.

Thanks for reading everyone, does any of you have any other advise.

Dee

hello dee,

it is a very hard decision to make especially when you have waited so long.

well my thoughts was exactly the same it took us 3half years to finally get

here and all i kept think am i doing the right thing my daughter had started

senior school should i take her away from what she knows and enjoys but

we took the plunge and we have been here nearly 3wks now and so far so

good but we are all different and really only you can make that choice but i

am so glad i have done it now( so far ) and everything has fallen into place

and i do not miss uk at all just freinds and family.

well good luck with making the decision of a lifetime.

annemarie xxx

Its such a hard decision to make and sadly only you and yours can make it.

Someone said on here a while back, that 'the lucky ones are the ones who have never thought of coming to Oz'.

That little saying has stuck with me....

I guess you have to ask yourselves why you decided you wanted to move to Oz in the first place and has that changed?

If you didnt give it a try would you regret it and always in the back of your mind wonder 'What if?'

I think during the process we all have moments where we think 'are we doing the right thing?' and thats perfectly normal...its a huge move!!!

Sorry I cant be of any more help.

Good luck with whichever future you decide on.

Melanie xxx:hug:

Hi Dee

and tell us about it?

we are the same apart from we have validated our visas. We too have good well paid jobs with final salary pensions and early retirement and the kids are doing well in a really good school and we hope if we stay that they will pass their A levels and go onto university.

But........................... we know that life as a whole would be better in Australia, we have been twice and it is fantastic, Perth was great and Brisbane was brilliant.

Are we certain that we want to go?................................ NO.

I applied as a £10 pom in 1977 and i was going with 4 cousins but cried off, and emigrating has been on my mind for 33 years, my cousins went and they have loved it.

Alot has changed in the last two years, the uk has been in a long drawn out recession and our house is probably worth £40,000 les and the exchange rate is chronic, so all in all we are about $160,000 down and this is making the decision doubly hard for us, we are mortgage free and don't want to start again with one, just because Australia is doing well financially.

As above............ only you can decide and don't feel guilty if you get your visa and don't go, just because others are waiting for one, no............ decide yourself whats best for you and your family and take no notice about anything else.

best of luck.

Thanks everyone for you replies i think we have decided not to go, i thought i would list all the reasons so you can all understand why.

1) I work for the nhs and Rickie works for the underground so we are both guaranteed pensions, and we both earn good money here and are not guarenteed jobs when we get there.

2)The exchange rate is so bad we would loose loads when we sold the house. Because the house prices are down here we wouldn"t get as much as we would have done a year ago, so therefore would only have about 50 grand to take with us.

3) Because of the cash flow we would have to get a full mortgage over there as here we actually owe half of our house.

4) The children are 3 years older than when we stated and are very settled in school Thomas especially in his new school.

5) So to cut a long story short we would loose out on loads of money, and we aint getting any younger, nd we dont really want to start all over again.

So where as before every reason for going was for the good, unfortunetly now its not. So when we get that call from the case officer we will tell them that we will not be persuing the application as its taken far far too long. Is there any of you out there that has also changed your minds.

I will still be coming on here from time to time and i wish all of you all the luck in the world with all your applications.

I do feel really upset about our decission but i also know its the right one.

Thankyou everyone for listening.

All the best Dionne

xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Dionne and Rickie.

From your last post the main reasons you give for not going seem to be more centered around the monetary aspect, that is NOT a criticism by the way. If you have grafted and worked then good on you for looking to the future, ref pensions , etc.

To make the decision to emigrate is huge, and one that you can only answer. But I will say this. With the jobs you have and the eventual rewards it will give I like you would err on the side of caution, and throw in the fact that your little one is very settles at school make the decision even harder.

But having said that, is the 'risk' of going to Australia really that big. I'm NOT saying you will say this as a couple when older, but what if you say to yourselves in the future, 'I wish we had given it a go'.

OK, the monetary aspect will be huge, and as you said, you will be worse off if you go to Australia, but you never know you may be as happy as Larry.

I think the biggest question you have to ask yourselves is this. Am I truly happy in the UK? And, 'Would I be happier in Australia?' even taking into consideration the monetary aspect. I'm not sure how happy you are in this country, that is for you, and you alone, but do you think that whilst you may be looking at the financial side, (I can't blame you one bit by the way) you may be losing perspective a little at what first instigated your desire and will to emigrate.

I hope I haven't unsettled you more, sorry if I have, but whichever way your life takes you I wish you all the best, it is one hell of a decision to make.

Cheers Tony:wink:

Hi Dee,

In the final analysis you have to make this decision yourself. The 'follow your heart' advice worries me. There is another maxim- ' act in haste repent at leisure' ! I can sympathise with your predicament as I am ina similar situation - only reveresed! I am trying to decide wether to return to the UK. I moved to melbourne in Nov 06 with my wife of 1 year (we were in our 50's). Initially it was great big house with pool and tennis court, well paid job, sunshine. Nealry 4 years on I have come to realise that true quality of life does not come from material possessions but from the people you have in your life and you will be leaving them behind! I recall thinking "i'll just go home at least once a year" well, that didnt work out due to work commitments. I earn double what I earned in the UK but employer demands are higher and leave allowances less than the UK.

On the whole, I'd say that taxation here is about the same as the UK (it varies from state to state for things like stamp duty). In Victoria stamp duty on housees is 5% ! and stamp duty also applies to things like car pruchases (even 2nd hand).

The weather is much better but its funny the things you will miss. It will probable take 2 - 3 years before you start to seriously miss things and question your decision.

Another factor you should consider is the commercials. The Aussie econmy is strong and the UK weak at the moment. This makes it a bad time to move here. The combination of weak house prices in the UK/ Weak GBP/Strong house prices here/strong AUD make it a really bad time to move.

Don't get me wrong there are positives and I am glad I came as it has been good for my CV and career.

If I could do over, I would not sell my house in the UK, but rent it and come here for 1-2 years as it will take at least that long for you to be able to be sure if its right for you. I thought "in for a penny ...." and we sold both UK houses, cut all ties with the UK and moved out here - that was a mistake. Keep your options open until you are sure.

As for the pool, when I got here I was told that they are more trouble than they are woryt. I didn't listen. To me it was one of the compensations for leaving family and friends behind. I mean, I could never dreamed of having a huge house withpool and tennis courts back in blighty but you know what ? ..they are a pain and I have just sold the house and glad to be rid of it. I used to spend 4-5 hours every w/e maintaing/cleaning them, ad often its too damned hot to be out there in the pool !

I guess the best advice I can offer is think very very carefuly about what and who you miss. If you are still not sure, rent your house out and come for a year or so.

Good luck.

Chris

Hi Dee,

Are you an EN? In my wife's hospital they do employ EN's in the cardiac children's unit, but not in children's ICU. If you do decide to come here is conversion to RGN not an option? My wife can give you some contacts at the Royal Children's if other factors have you deciding to come.

Good luck

kev

Hi Dee,

 

In the final analysis you have to make this decision yourself. The 'follow your heart' advice worries me. There is another maxim- ' act in haste repent at leisure' ! I can sympathise with your predicament as I am ina similar situation - only reveresed! I am trying to decide wether to return to the UK. I moved to melbourne in Nov 06 with my wife of 1 year (we were in our 50's). Initially it was great big house with pool and tennis court, well paid job, sunshine. Nealry 4 years on I have come to realise that true quality of life does not come from material possessions but from the people you have in your life and you will be leaving them behind! I recall thinking "i'll just go home at least once a year" well, that didnt work out due to work commitments. I earn double what I earned in the UK but employer demands are higher and leave allowances less than the UK.

 

On the whole, I'd say that taxation here is about the same as the UK (it varies from state to state for things like stamp duty). In Victoria stamp duty on housees is 5% ! and stamp duty also applies to things like car pruchases (even 2nd hand).

 

The weather is much better but its funny the things you will miss. It will probable take 2 - 3 years before you start to seriously miss things and question your decision.

 

Another factor you should consider is the commercials. The Aussie econmy is strong and the UK weak at the moment. This makes it a bad time to move here. The combination of weak house prices in the UK/ Weak GBP/Strong house prices here/strong AUD make it a really bad time to move.

 

Don't get me wrong there are positives and I am glad I came as it has been good for my CV and career.

 

If I could do over, I would not sell my house in the UK, but rent it and come here for 1-2 years as it will take at least that long for you to be able to be sure if its right for you. I thought "in for a penny ...." and we sold both UK houses, cut all ties with the UK and moved out here - that was a mistake. Keep your options open until you are sure.

 

As for the pool, when I got here I was told that they are more trouble than they are woryt. I didn't listen. To me it was one of the compensations for leaving family and friends behind. I mean, I could never dreamed of having a huge house withpool and tennis courts back in blighty but you know what ? ..they are a pain and I have just sold the house and glad to be rid of it. I used to spend 4-5 hours every w/e maintaing/cleaning them, ad often its too damned hot to be out there in the pool !

 

I guess the best advice I can offer is think very very carefuly about what and who you miss. If you are still not sure, rent your house out and come for a year or so.

 

Good luck.

Chris

Thanks so much Chris you make the decission a bit easier, its not family or friends keeping us here its the economic climate you hit the nail the nail on the head when you mentioned the house prices, thats the main reason as the houses have gone way down here, and up over there so we really wouldnt be able to afford a nice big house comfortably. We are comfortable here and wouldnt be there. Thankyou your information means a lot.

Good luck with the rest of your lives in Oz.

Dionne

xxxx

Hi Dee,

 

Are you an EN? In my wife's hospital they do employ EN's in the cardiac children's unit, but not in children's ICU. If you do decide to come here is conversion to RGN not an option? My wife can give you some contacts at the Royal Children's if other factors have you deciding to come.

 

Good luck

 

kev

H Kev no im not an EN im not even sure what it is, i am a Nursery nurse and can look after children in any setting from 0-7, i actualy work on an neonatal unit and i love my job. Thankyou so much for the offer but i am not able to convert to an RGN as im not a qualified nurse, i did the NNEB. Thankyou for being so kind and helpfull.

Dionne

xxxxxx

It's a decision only you and your family can make. My personal opinion is that if it isn't broken don't fix it, your life seems fine where you are and there is no way of knowing if it would be better here, just different.

I agree, I am firmly in the "if it aint broke, dont fix it" camp. Although people may decry the need for financial stability, I can tell you that nothing feeds depression quite like poverty (relative or actual) and if you lose that comfort then it makes everything else just that little bit harder.

Far better to enjoy the good holiday provisions of UK and save up and come for holidays than screw it all up, especially when you both have jobs you enjoy.

Good luck with the next step of your life!

you have paid all that money for the visa, maybe take a year out and rent your home, or at least go ahead with meds when requested and validate the visa to keep your options open for another 5 years yu don't know what's around the corner, good luck x

Hi we're in a similar situation, but we now have our visa grant.

We wanted to move back in 2005, waited ages with changing DIAC rules to be eligable, almost got caught up in the 23rd september chaos last year but 'luckily' got our visa in december and have now validated.

Like you the economic situation is a big deal for us. We are mortgage free here and comfortable. The exchange rate is miles away from where it was when we originally had our plans, as is the housing situation. Money isn't everything but I would seriously feel short changed moving in the current climate and no amount of lifstyle (if i could afford it) would offset that. it's not like i'm miserable here after all.

My advice to you would be to plod on with the visa and validate, at least that way you will still have the option. A lot can happen in 5 years and if you still have the choice to go you might be greatful.

Yes you may not go and that would be meds and validation down the drain, BUT it will mean you stay in control of the choice for longer and is a small price to pay for not having regrets if things change for you.

Ask yourself if aussie prices were 30%lower and the exchange rate more like 2.7, how would you feel then?

Hi we're in a similar situation, but we now have our visa grant.

 

We wanted to move back in 2005, waited ages with changing DIAC rules to be eligable, almost got caught up in the 23rd september chaos last year but 'luckily' got our visa in december and have now validated.

 

Like you the economic situation is a big deal for us. We are mortgage free here and comfortable. The exchange rate is miles away from where it was when we originally had our plans, as is the housing situation. Money isn't everything but I would seriously feel short changed moving in the current climate and no amount of lifstyle (if i could afford it) would offset that. it's not like i'm miserable here after all.

 

My advice to you would be to plod on with the visa and validate, at least that way you will still have the option. A lot can happen in 5 years and if you still have the choice to go you might be greatful.

Yes you may not go and that would be meds and validation down the drain, BUT it will mean you stay in control of the choice for longer and is a small price to pay for not having regrets if things change for you.

 

Ask yourself if aussie prices were 30%lower and the exchange rate more like 2.7, how would you feel then?

I think this sounds like great advice. I'm a great believer in not burning your bridges.

Just look at how things have changed since you actually applied in the first place, anything could happen and next year, who knows, you may just change your mind again!

Good luck in your decision anyhow, xx

Just want to wish you all the very best with your decision! I sometimes wish that we had sat back for a while and weighed it all up more carefully! We had a good life, nice house, Children were all settled at school, great family and friendship network! But we still took the gamble and went anyway, Regrets, yes we do have a few! But we are back now in the uk, where we know we belong, Its true what they say, if it aint broke!!!!! xx

Hi we're in a similar situation, but we now have our visa grant.

 

We wanted to move back in 2005, waited ages with changing DIAC rules to be eligable, almost got caught up in the 23rd september chaos last year but 'luckily' got our visa in december and have now validated.

 

Like you the economic situation is a big deal for us. We are mortgage free here and comfortable. The exchange rate is miles away from where it was when we originally had our plans, as is the housing situation. Money isn't everything but I would seriously feel short changed moving in the current climate and no amount of lifstyle (if i could afford it) would offset that. it's not like i'm miserable here after all.

 

My advice to you would be to plod on with the visa and validate, at least that way you will still have the option. A lot can happen in 5 years and if you still have the choice to go you might be greatful.

Yes you may not go and that would be meds and validation down the drain, BUT it will mean you stay in control of the choice for longer and is a small price to pay for not having regrets if things change for you.

 

Ask yourself if aussie prices were 30%lower and the exchange rate more like 2.7, how would you feel then?

Your right it is great advise it would be a good idea to get visa and then valadate who knows we may, BUT it will cost us a lot of money to go for a holday and dont think we will have that kind of cash, all our money is in our house we got a loan to go to Florida in july so going to be paying that off for a few years. Who knows hey we will see what happens, thanks everyone for your thoughts and replys.xxxx:wubclub:

Just want to wish you all the very best with your decision! I sometimes wish that we had sat back for a while and weighed it all up more carefully! We had a good life, nice house, Children were all settled at school, great family and friendship network! But we still took the gamble and went anyway, Regrets, yes we do have a few! But we are back now in the uk, where we know we belong, Its true what they say, if it aint broke!!!!! xx

OMG Dawny when did you come back i remember when you went i know you are great friends with Tasha, what happened over there couldn't you settle.

Glad you are happy now in good old England, im just suprised you are back.

All the best

Dionne.xxxx

HI Dionne

I was thinking the other day what had happened to you two!

Can I put in my 2 cents worth? A colleague of mine is retiring this friday. People were calling him mad as he is going 5 years early and he is loosing out on a lot of money with his pension. I was talking to him last week about this and he was spot on with what he said to me. He said everything has a value and it does not always have to be a monetary one.There is so much that he wants to do and if he leaves it 5 years he will be older and the opportunities will have passed. "I am loosing money but somethings are priceless" is what he said to me. Money is not everything.

Secondly, you are both in jobs that will allow you to take career breaks. I know this as the NHS allows them and I know someone who works for the underground and they had one as well. Cant you rent your house out and get career breaks and come for a year and see how you get on? If it dont work out then go back to the UK? Lisa and I have been granted career breaks. I dont think we will need them but me being a firefighter, I always like an escape route.

Thirdly, validating. We have friends who got their visa 4 years ago. They had sold their house and were about to book flights. They gave their cat away to the friend 4 miles away. The next morning the cat was on the doorstep and the friend burst into tears. If she felt like that with the cat, how is she going to feel with family? So the whole thing was called off. I said to them that they should validate as they might change their minds.But they said that they have not got the money to go and did not want to go now anyway and were justifying it with different "reasons": money, kids schooling etc . Well 4 years down the line, they realise that they made a big mistake and wished they went now or at least validated as his occupation is no longer on the list.

Think about the rocking chair. Are you going to be sitting in it when you are old and think "I wish I had done that"?

Just my thoughts and I hope they help.

Take care with what ever you decide.

JOHN AND LISA

OMG Dawny when did you come back i remember when you went i know you are great friends with Tasha, what happened over there couldn't you settle.

Glad you are happy now in good old England, im just suprised you are back.

All the best

Dionne.xxxx

LOL, will send you a message xx

Hello everyone:spinny:

 

The reason im writing this some of you may not know us but we joined PIO years ago when we first applied. Anyway looking at the thread cat 3s where are you now we should be geting a case officer soon, not sure how long but this is the closest we have ever been to getting the visa in 3 years.

They changed the goal posts so so many times and we kind of gave up ever getting to oz and we got on with our lives, prob thinking back it was probably the wrong thing to do as now we have moved on im so confused as to weither we want to go or not. Some of you would probably want to rip my arm of to be where we are right now sorry.

 

Our oldest son has judt started secondary school and loves it, we were meant to be over there before he started we wernt even going to visit schools orriganly. We went to Florida this summer and spent lots of money doing that so gonna take us a while to pay that back. Do i want to leave a job here i love which is working in an neonatal unit (im a nursery nurse) and earning very good money, and i will NEVER be able to do that over there as they only have RNs. Our daughter is very clever and whilst being only 8 we have been told she can do her 11+ next year which means she can go to a grammer school, AAARRRHHHGGG THIS IS SO HARD.

 

Will we be better off over there im not so sure, will we earn more money NO prob not, will we have a house with a pool rob YES, will it be a better life i think so.

 

One of my very good friends said follow your heart, unfortunetly my heart i think is saying stay her, im just gutted its taken so so long because this time last year we would have been jumping for joy. Another thing is Rickies TRA was done in August 08 maybe its run out now!

 

The practical side of things would be:

1) get meds done

2) fly out if we can get the money to valadte the visa

3) Decide, decide, decide.

 

Thanks for reading everyone, does any of you have any other advise.

Dee

Hi Dee, I remember you guys, as we joined this forum back in March 2008. We are slightly ahead of yourselves, in that we got our visa last year and we validated it this year.

We are now in a similarly situation, in do we stay or do we go. Again for us its the money. If we had sold our house when we wanted to for the price we wanted, we would be there now, giving it a good go. But we cant sell our house. So all the time this carrys on, the more doubt that enters your head.

I will say I am so glad we validated, to know we still have 4 years before the decision is taken away from us is good to have, we feel the option is still there and as someone else said, alot has changed 2 1/2 years, so a lot could change in the next 2 1/2 years.

I know validating cost a lot of money, but we managed it on a budget. We could only afford to go for 2 weeks but we did it, and we coped. We went in May and took the children out of school because its one of the cheapest times to fly.

You havent done the medicals yet, and you have a year to validate after your medicals, so maybe it might just be worth continuing with the visa just to keep your options open.

mandisfam:wubclub:

Hi Dee, I remember you guys, as we joined this forum back in March 2008. We are slightly ahead of yourselves, in that we got our visa last year and we validated it this year.

 

We are now in a similarly situation, in do we stay or do we go. Again for us its the money. If we had sold our house when we wanted to for the price we wanted, we would be there now, giving it a good go. But we cant sell our house. So all the time this carrys on, the more doubt that enters your head.

 

I will say I am so glad we validated, to know we still have 4 years before the decision is taken away from us is good to have, we feel the option is still there and as someone else said, alot has changed 2 1/2 years, so a lot could change in the next 2 1/2 years.

 

I know validating cost a lot of money, but we managed it on a budget. We could only afford to go for 2 weeks but we did it, and we coped. We went in May and took the children out of school because its one of the cheapest times to fly.

 

You havent done the medicals yet, and you have a year to validate after your medicals, so maybe it might just be worth continuing with the visa just to keep your options open.

 

mandisfam:wubclub:

Hiya mandisfam,

I remember you too, we are thinking about it it just comes down to money at the end of the day, we will see when we get the CO and what information they ask for and weither we can affored to get the meds done at the time. Thanks so much for your help.

Dionne

xxx