AaronS Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Well, it's set in pretty hard now. Missing my family. Missing my friends. Missing ducted air for the love of god! The kids love it here and my wife is doing well at her job, but she and I are finding it hard to make friends. Everyone has been friendly to us (not a single rude person yet) but not finding any common grounds really. Our neighbors are awesome and it was looking like they would be good friends but they are moving to London in March. I'm also having trouble finding employment. The market here is a bit strange in my opinion. Everything is very pigeon holed and you are expected to fit a particular mold precisely. No room for being unique or creative is literally what I've been told. I don't fit the mold that is expected....I work on a broader scope in my field which I was told was not a good thing by a recruiter. Where as back in Austin, TX that put me in demand. My wife is doing well but has commented that while the work ethic is strong here, the repsonsiveness from employees is very slow. She finds herself taking on more work load than she is supposed to have so projects are completed on time (she works in a global position so the projects span beyond Australia). So she's working from home and late at night to do that. One thing that we wouldn't be able to get past regardless of a perfect situation is the housing costs. Unbelieveable! We were looking at houses on Saturday and caught ourselves saying that $900K for a modest house on a small lot wasn't bad.......that was a bit of a wake up call too. That is a riduclous amount to pay....homes in Austin like that wouldn't sell for more than $150K. $900K for a home in Austin buys you this: http://www.trulia.com/property/3054093289-7606-Rustling-Cv-Austin-TX-78731 Huge difference in what you get for your money and jobs in Austin pay comparably to what they pay in Sydney....and keep in mind Austin is the capital of Texas and is in the top 5 strongest economies in the entire US. Lastly, I'm also a musician and expected Sydney of all places to have a vibrant and diverse music scene. I've made a strong effort to get to know the musicians in the area and every single one without exception says it's completely dead here. Only cover bands get to play. We love the outdoor lifestyle, beaches, parks and really want to travel in the outback.....but, it's starting to seem that we may be rounds peg trying to fit into square holes here. Coupled with missing our family and friends, it seems this may end up being a 4 year vacation for us and then back to Austin....maybe shorter than that. We'll make the best of it and love the experience in the meantime. Sorry to rant a bit but honestly I've got no one to talk to about it...so it's the good people of PIO that I turn to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 First of all, big hugs :hug: Being out of work always makes homesickness worse. Yes, the housing market in Australia is last time I checked one of the three most inflated in the world relative to wages. Might I suggest if you're not sure about staying, that you rent for a couple of years, especially if you need a mortgage to buy, otherwise you'll end up spending needless money on buying and selling fees, as well as setting yourself up to feel even more trapped down the line when the house doesn't sell (worst case scenario) I also hear you on the music scene. There are about the same number of amateur orchestras/concert bands for adults in Adelaide (pop 1.2m) as there were in my hometown area in the UK (pop 100k), and the ones in adelaide all seem to be mostly made up of music teachers and students. On the job front, have you tried contacting companies directly rather than dealing with recruitment agencies? In my experience agencies (and to a lesser extent HR departments) really don't know how to cope with someone outside the mold, whereas the people in charge would really appreciate your skills. All in all, treat this as a visit, enjoy it while you're here, doesn't have to be forever, and reassess your situation in a year or two. You may find your feelings have changed and you've really settled, or you may not. Either way, it's been a life experience that will hopefully affect your future in a positive way, even if it's just a learning experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57545 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 One thing that we wouldn't be able to get past regardless of a perfect situation is the housing costs. Unbelieveable! We were looking at houses on Saturday and caught ourselves saying that $900K for a modest house on a small lot wasn't bad.......that was a bit of a wake up call too. That is a riduclous amount to pay....homes in Austin like that wouldn't sell for more than $150K. $900K for a home in Austin buys you this: http://www.trulia.com/property/1086315570-101-E-Canyon-Cir-Austin-TX-78746 That house appears to be 8.9 MILLION US 10 times what you are looking at in Sydney. Agree very expensive in Sydney though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I can relate to this in some ways and understand what it can be like as a new arrival in Sydney First up, housing costs: They are ridiculous and it is a real barrier here. For us it's not such a marked one, because my work in the UK is and was always London based, and whilst Sydney housing costs are very high, they're no worse than London. There's nothing you can do about it though and frankly I can't see them coming down very far. On the plus side, they're not climbing strongly either, so sitting it out and renting isn't actually costing you much beyond the irritation of having to put up with agents and landlords. We are just viewing it as an opportunity to take our time in deciding whether or not we want to stay long term, without having to commit yet. If prices were sharply climbing I know we'd feel the pressure to jump in, even if we didn't know if we wanted to stay for a long while I hear you also on the music front. I don't really go to gigs these days, young family gets in the way, but I used to a lot and have been keeping my eyes open for events. There appears to be very little on - as you say, lots of cover/tribute bands and some big stadium/arena gigs (for which the tickets are stupidy expensive) but very little small gig live music scene, which I was surprised and disappointed by. It's one of the areas this country is lacking Keep plugging away when it comes to employment; I find the world of work here to be a bit old-fashioned in some respects (the pigeonholing is a part of this) and quite relaxed (some would say even casual). It isn't a "modern", cut and thrust, innovative world of business the way it is in the UK and US in many sectors. That's just the way it is, the beneficial flipside is that "work to live" is much more normal here I think, and also when you do get that job it's relatively easy to shine if you put some effort into it. There are quite a few people here who coast, so if you don't then there's a lot of opportunity And keep plugging away at the friends thing. Hopefully your kids will be back at school (or starting school) this week and that will open up some social avenues; we've found that, plus activities that we have involved our son with (tennis, swimming, golf) have led to a few contacts where friendships are developing, also activities that we have signed up for (running for me, yoga for my wife) have also led to a few. You've got to be open but I get the impression from your posts (including the ones I recall from when you moved over here) that you are, so it will come Finally I think your attitude of a 4 year "holiday" and if it doesn't work out, then go back, is absolutely the right one to have. Things may come together and you won't want to leave, things may not; but you're not really costing yourself anything by giving it a go Keep it up - I think you have the right attitude for it to improve. Everyone gets homesick sometimes and misses things about their homeland. There are some things I miss about England and always will (long summer evenings, the pastoral nature of the countryside rather than the much harsher bush you have here) but they'll always be there, and if the missing gets to be too much, then we'll go back Good luck! I'd suggest meeting up for a pint, but the pubs here are rubbish and we'd need a mortgage to afford the beer anyway ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 That house appears to be 8.9 MILLION US 10 times what you are looking at in Sydney. Agree very expensive in Sydney though haha! Correct.....I missed a zero on that! Let me try that again: http://www.trulia.com/property/3054093289-7606-Rustling-Cv-Austin-TX-78731 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Sorry you are feeling that way. I originally lived in Sydney many many many years ago when I was single and I emigrated there with a couple of friends. We never really met anyone, to me Sydney is pretty insular and hence after 3 years moved to Melbourne. Melbourne for me was better, it was harder for me to get employment at the time because I had no work history in Melbourne but someone gave me a go and never looked back from there. Hence after I married and had been living in England again we returned to Melbourne. Great music scene in Melbourne. Also the houses are expensive in the inner areas just like Sydney but the outer suburbs of Melbourne as so much nicer, only my opinion. So there are houses that are affordable. Neighbours I have found tend to stick a lot to themselves. We know our neighbours and speak with them but we do not socialise with them. That said though I have had neighbours I socialised with who are still my friends but I would say that is not the norm. At the time our friendships came about we had children of the same age and we were all building houses in the area so had common interest. When you live in a suburb that is established often there is no common interest as you say round peg in square hole or vice versa. Joining a sporting club even as a social member is a way of finding others who share interests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Good luck! I'd suggest meeting up for a pint, but the pubs here are rubbish and we'd need a mortgage to afford the beer anyway ;-) Truer words have not been spoken! I miss this place......a proper Texas roadhouse with live music and $1 draft! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Here's my old local: http://www.hawkedonqueen.co.uk/index.php Oddly I don't actually miss pubs that much, even though the ones here are pretty terrible; they'll always be there when I go back, that particular one has been there for 500 years so it's not going anywhere soon. There are other things here I *do* like, so I just focus on those rather than spend too much time missing where I'm not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another round peg in square hole checking in!! Seriously, I know exactly what you mean. There is nothing really wrong with Sydney, or Australia for that matter (before I get a bashing) just that I don't feel like I fit. For me it isn't even really bad homesickness... as I am fully aware of the trials and tribulations of the UK and Europe at this present time, just that I have landed here in Sydney and don't feel part of it all. So, don't worry and don't feel you are strange :rolleyes: I too am looking at it as a kind of extended budget holiday at the moment to get through the days, no one seems to want me work wise for the same reasons you have described above, so that leaves a lot of time to dedicate to the internet during the week and we make the most of things exploring during the weekend. If you ever feel like a beer drop me a PM, my OH is Italian and speaks like the Godfather but I'm sure you would understand him :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Hi Aaron, Its not good when members struggle to feel accepted in Australia, If you wife works from home and you are unable to find suitable work is it worth thinking about trying other states and cities. I have never been to Sydney but from reading comments on this forum it seems most members either love it of hate it and I know it has a reputation of being expensive. If its possible think about broadening your horizons and look at other cities and states for chances of work. You may find a big problem with Sydney is that a lot of people head there thinking it will be overflowing with work for them, but because so many go there all the working opportunities are well covered by people already there. Good luck with your Australian adventure, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Lovely house! I would love to visit the US, not the usual Disneyland sort of places, but 'real' towns and cities etc. I am lucky in that I don't feel homesick at all, but although I do love living in Sydney, I find every day things hard sometimes. It can be quite hard to get your head round how things are done, and even the simplest of things can take ages to figure out. I have spent most of the day feeling down and tearful because our eldest daughter went back to school yesterday (she is year 1), and I noticed today that the other children in her class seem to mix together whereas she tends to stand apart. I asked her who she played with yesterday recess and lunchtime, and she told me that she sat on her own because no one wanted to play with her. It has upset me because I am stressing that it is because she is 'different' to the other kids (she is the only British child in her year as far as I know), even though she went through Kindy with them. It must be doubly hard to feel homesickness on top of this sort of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisleylass Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I want to go to Texas now too! I'd probably be homesick if I was from Austin, tho I preferred San Antone :tongue: $1 drafts, jeez :cool: I haven't had beer that cheap since we paid tip-only at Main Street Station casino in Vegas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Its tough when you go through your first bout of homesickness. You have my sympathy. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day - nor will your new life either. I have been here 18+ months and would say that I have made some new acquaintances through kids school, but they are not like my 'old' friends - nor should they be. It all takes time. You can't force friendships they just 'happen' - some people you just click with, others it takes time. The important thing is to be yourself. You can't do anything about house prices - you can either afford to buy that modest house on a small lot or you can't. Its just the way it is. If you can buy it, then you can get something bigger by moving further out from the centre of Sydney. It is just a big, bitter pill you have to swallow - or rent. There is not much you can do about jobs either, other than perservering - which I am sure you are. If you find you are twiddling your thumbs - get a new hobby - music probably filled that void for you in the past, but maybe you need to do something different to break the daily cycle. Sorry if I am telling you how to suck eggs.:wubclub: Well, it's set in pretty hard now. Missing my family. Missing my friends. Missing ducted air for the love of god! The kids love it here and my wife is doing well at her job, but she and I are finding it hard to make friends. Everyone has been friendly to us (not a single rude person yet) but not finding any common grounds really. Our neighbors are awesome and it was looking like they would be good friends but they are moving to London in March. I'm also having trouble finding employment. The market here is a bit strange in my opinion. Everything is very pigeon holed and you are expected to fit a particular mold precisely. No room for being unique or creative is literally what I've been told. I don't fit the mold that is expected....I work on a broader scope in my field which I was told was not a good thing by a recruiter. Where as back in Austin, TX that put me in demand. My wife is doing well but has commented that while the work ethic is strong here, the repsonsiveness from employees is very slow. She finds herself taking on more work load than she is supposed to have so projects are completed on time (she works in a global position so the projects span beyond Australia). So she's working from home and late at night to do that. One thing that we wouldn't be able to get past regardless of a perfect situation is the housing costs. Unbelieveable! We were looking at houses on Saturday and caught ourselves saying that $900K for a modest house on a small lot wasn't bad.......that was a bit of a wake up call too. That is a riduclous amount to pay....homes in Austin like that wouldn't sell for more than $150K. $900K for a home in Austin buys you this: http://www.trulia.com/property/3054093289-7606-Rustling-Cv-Austin-TX-78731 Huge difference in what you get for your money and jobs in Austin pay comparably to what they pay in Sydney....and keep in mind Austin is the capital of Texas and is in the top 5 strongest economies in the entire US. Lastly, I'm also a musician and expected Sydney of all places to have a vibrant and diverse music scene. I've made a strong effort to get to know the musicians in the area and every single one without exception says it's completely dead here. Only cover bands get to play. We love the outdoor lifestyle, beaches, parks and really want to travel in the outback.....but, it's starting to seem that we may be rounds peg trying to fit into square holes here. Coupled with missing our family and friends, it seems this may end up being a 4 year vacation for us and then back to Austin....maybe shorter than that. We'll make the best of it and love the experience in the meantime. Sorry to rant a bit but honestly I've got no one to talk to about it...so it's the good people of PIO that I turn to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 our eldest daughter went back to school yesterday (she is year 1), and I noticed today that the other children in her class seem to mix together whereas she tends to stand apart. I asked her who she played with yesterday recess and lunchtime, and she told me that she sat on her own because no one wanted to play with her. It has upset me because I am stressing that it is because she is 'different' to the other kids (she is the only British child in her year as far as I know), even though she went through Kindy with them. Did they all mix in Kindy or is this something new? I've found that things can change from day to day at that age and "differentness" is not usually an issue for that age group. Does she have other children home to play? It might be worth having a word to the teacher to keep an eye on the interaction out in the playground. Maybe she is very shy? All the best - I can appreciate how you must be feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Lastly, I'm also a musician and expected Sydney of all places to have a vibrant and diverse music scene. I've made a strong effort to get to know the musicians in the area and every single one without exception says it's completely dead here. Only cover bands get to play. I'm surprised at that too. What sort of music are you into? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 I'm surprised at that too. What sort of music are you into? Pretty much straight forward rock...but I only play original songs. No covers or copies. I can't even find a venue that has live rock bands let alone bands themselves. Everyone I've spoken to about playing original music says the scene is over here. Back in Austin you couldn't throw a dead cat and not hit a music venue for original bands. Hate to go on about it....so I'll quit my whincing, make a plan and follow through....and have a good time in the meantime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Have you tried to The Sando in Newtown: http://www.sando.com.au/GIGGeneric.htm Pretty much straight forward rock...but I only play original songs. No covers or copies. I can't even find a venue that has live rock bands let alone bands themselves. Everyone I've spoken to about playing original music says the scene is over here. Back in Austin you couldn't throw a dead cat and not hit a music venue for original bands. Hate to go on about it....so I'll quit my whincing, make a plan and follow through....and have a good time in the meantime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Have you tried to The Sando in Newtown: http://www.sando.com.au/GIGGeneric.htm Thanks for the link! I may head over there and check it out some night. Unfortunately the owners even recognize the downfall of the music scene. Quoted from their website: Tony Townsend a long time music industry promoter, manager, agent.... decided to return to the industry after many years of a self imposed exile due to the mediocity of the music scene itself... "Live music was dead or dying and I just couldn't watch it in its death throws anymore"... clone bands, concept acts, more production than music and the basic apathy of the punters was killing the pub & live scene completely... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 That's hard for you Aaron - I couldn't live in Sydney, either. Don't really know why, just everyone seems busy busy busy and just, well, different. I found Melbourne easier to get to know people and a bit slower paced- have been here most of my life now so of course I have kids, grandkids,friends etc, all around which makes life very comfortable. I think there is a music scene here , my ex SIL plays bass and seems to get a lot of gigs in the city areas. Can you try another city? I believe Adelaide is pretty friendly, too though I haven't lived there. Also Brisbane seems lively. I'd avoid the west but that is just me- couldn't live there, too flat an atmosphere. Again, just me. Good luck whatever you decide though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 My daughter is in to the live music scene and few friends in bands etc and she says that life music is disappearing in Melbourne, this being due to the gentrification of areas and the residents complain about the noise etc. The cost of living in the inner areas has increased so much that it has changed the demographic of who lives there and tends to be a lot of older people or well off people with families these days, hence they do not like the noise of the city. Personally I believe that noise goes hand in hand with inner city living and should be expected. Where I live there used to be a great live music scene and over the years the council has brought in so many laws about noise, hours etc that it just died. Trouble is its all about me these days so the mees strangle everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GoldCoastMag Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Hi Aaron We are not in Sydney but on the Gold Coast and OH is not from Texas but Florida and can always call if you want a chat with a fellow yank. He has had quite a bit of a learning curve and of course "people sickness" missing his (adult) children, pm me for a number if you are up for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salma Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Aaron I arrived in Sydney in mid november and started looking for work end of Dec (OH started staright away) and now cme 1st Feb still no luck and using our savings to survive. I totally get the job market you have to be an exact match if not your not worth employing it is very frustrating! Just keep plugging away, thats what we are doing and have to make it work as we have a 9 month old and don't want to unsettle him anymore. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Aaron I arrived in Sydney in mid november and started looking for work end of Dec (OH started staright away) and now cme 1st Feb still no luck and using our savings to survive. I totally get the job market you have to be an exact match if not your not worth employing it is very frustrating! Just keep plugging away, thats what we are doing and have to make it work as we have a 9 month old and don't want to unsettle him anymore. good luck We've decided to head back to the US in a year or so. We can survive no problem on my wife's income but it's more a matter of principal now. I was a valuable commodity in Austin, TX because of my approach on the field I work in....here I'm nothing because I'm not an exact match. I'm just not willing to change to something less (in my mind) to fit in the job market. We'll enjoy our time here and make some new friends, but we'll head back. Plus, the housing here is out of control. Even if things were perfect that would cause us to leave. We knew it was expensive but didn't realize how little you get for the money. The house we rent now would go for a million easy here.....in Austin, TX this house would be lucky to go for $100K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salma Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Well husband has mentioned if things don't work out will move back in a year or so too but I adament that I will make it work! Your right about the house prices I lived outside london and it was expensive but we would have managed in a decent size house but lets see I am hoping for a proeprty crash and decent jobs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Well husband has mentioned if things don't work out will move back in a year or so too but I adament that I will make it work! Your right about the house prices I lived outside london and it was expensive but we would have managed in a decent size house but lets see I am hoping for a proeprty crash and decent jobs! This will make you sick....check out this house and how much it is selling for. It's about 7km away from the headquarters of the company my wife works for. http://www.trulia.com/property/3072076801-2203-Hanging-Rock-Dr-Pflugerville-TX-78660 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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