TheSmithFamily Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I guess there may be a few different responses to this but hopefully there will be an overriding piece of advice!! We're very much in the preliminary stage of emigrating. We're saving money & will hopefully apply for a visa sometime next year with a view to move in 2-3 years. However we haven't told any of our extended family yet parents/grandparents etc and I know some of them will take the news quite badly. But whats the best time to break the news? As early as possible so it's all out in the open even though things may not work out (a possibilty)? Once a visa is granted? Or perhaps even later than that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz Brady Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 When we had decided that we were def going we told everyone fairly straight away, I couldn't handle the stress of keeping it from them and thought it would be a good idea to get them used to the idea slowly. Some of them you'd think we'd told them we had a terminal illness others are being v supportive and others are sort of burying their heads in the sand and trying not to think about it till it happens but at least they know! We are just getting started OH just got AQF III so fair way to go but my lot are resigned to the fact that we're going, although we have told them that we only plan to go for a few years until things pick up here in Ireland but we intend to only be back for hols! Sorry I've been rambling a lot lately! Hope this helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I'd mention it as a possibility - maybe drop into a conversation about the weather how much nicer it'd be in Oz right now... Then you can build up to it gradually! Don't do what my darling husband did and tell your Mum via email. (He'd talked vaguely about it earlier, but it's still a rubbish way to break the news about a definite departure date!!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest john76 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 i went along with the thought of waiting until we had a visa to tell my family, didnt see the point in causing any upset should we not have gotten the visa. I did think my ones would be less than supportive but in all honesty I was wrong while my mum isnt jumping for joy at the thought she does understand the reasons why we are going and can see the good points which I have pointed out such as work-life balance, the outdoor lifestyle and of course the better day to day life for our son, so I do think that no matter when you choose to tell your family make sure you have the reasons why in your head as you may have to sell the idea. anyway best of luck with both your application and of course the dreaded chat with the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I think the overriding thing is how you think they will react and would they prefer time to get used to it or not. We have always wanted to go to Oz to live and used to talk about it lots. My mum would get really upset and said that she only wanted to know if it was a definite. At the moment DH is awaiting the result of an interview for a job offering a 457 visa - so if it happens it could be within months. We have decided not to say anything yet as it might well not happen still. If he is successful, I can't imagine how I'll tell them though. I got enough grief when I went to Oz on a WHV years ago and that was pre-grandchildren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mdeejacks Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I guess there may be a few different responses to this but hopefully there will be an overriding piece of advice!! We're very much in the preliminary stage of emigrating. We're saving money & will hopefully apply for a visa sometime next year with a view to move in 2-3 years. However we haven't told any of our extended family yet parents/grandparents etc and I know some of them will take the news quite badly. But whats the best time to break the news? As early as possible so it's all out in the open even though things may not work out (a possibilty)? Once a visa is granted? Or perhaps even later than that? ASAP I told my parents very soon after realising I had enough points, glad I did as both my mum and sister didn't speak to me for 5 months. If I had waited until I had the visa that is a massive proportion of time wasted before I leave as you must enter in 12 months. go for it, it will them more time to come to terms cheers jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmithFamily Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 Thanks for the replies everybody. I quite like the idea of dropping (not so) subtle hints about the advantages of Australian life etc into conversation to plant the seed so to speak. I know that my Mam will take it badly no matter when we tell her so maybe it'll cushion the blow by starting to talk about Australia soon. However on the plus side for her, her brother (my uncle) lives in Bunbury and has done for nearly 30 years so maybe she'll see more of him if we move out there too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helene73 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Tricky one this, my mum doesn't like to talk about it she changes the subject when it's brought up, so I am thinking her and the MIL can get a postcard from oz lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I think it depends on the person/people you will be telling, as according to age, personality, outlook etc they will react differently. My in-laws are in their 80's and not very worldy wise (in the sense that they have never left Italy and don't really understand the whole time & distance thing). When we left Italy in 2009 to go back to UK (my home) we told them and they came to visit us once with the B&S in-law. Now we are in Sydney and it has been a mutual family decision not to tell them we are here... this may sound crazy to some but in all honesty it would only procure them extra worry and I think would send them to their graves earlier. They think we are in the UK, we didn't visit much anyway and so it is no difference to them, except they think we are 2 hours away instead of 22... We manage phone calls by calling them and they can't get out much due to physical problems so won't be sending us any post. B&S in-law have known about our Oz plans about half way through the proceeds. I did tell friends almost immediately, and so did DH. My own family I am almost estranged from so it is not an issue. My Mother doesn't have contact with us so we had to write to her. She never responded but at least knows where we are. My Father lives in Africa and is not interested in our lives. My Sister I am in touch with and she knows where we are and I also keep in touch with a cousin who lives in Spain and is soon to relocate to the US. I think whether or not you choose to tell people now or afterwards is also important for your own feelings.... you can't always be unhappy and feel stressed because you want to make it easier for family? So, if you feel you are bursting and want to get it out, just go for it!!! People have their own way of coping with news, but at the end of the day it is the relationship that counts. xxxx Naomi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I guess there may be a few different responses to this but hopefully there will be an overriding piece of advice!! We're very much in the preliminary stage of emigrating. We're saving money & will hopefully apply for a visa sometime next year with a view to move in 2-3 years. However we haven't told any of our extended family yet parents/grandparents etc and I know some of them will take the news quite badly. But whats the best time to break the news? As early as possible so it's all out in the open even though things may not work out (a possibilty)? Once a visa is granted? Or perhaps even later than that? I told my family as soon as there was a remote possiblity. When would you like to be told? Maybe that would answer the question for you.:wubclub: Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stevenw8971 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I told my mum as soon as we started the process, shes never paid so much attention to my kids since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nikkidel Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 We told my hubby's family straightaway, but my family we left until there were only medicals and police checks left to do. Due to being pregnant at the time, our case was put on hold for three months, so my parents had those three months to get used to the idea before we went for our medicals. They weren't particularly happy about it, but like a PP I got enough grief when I got a WHV ten years ago...and I guess they just don't understand why we'd take their grandchildren away from them, even though we've travelled a lot over the years, and haven't lived in the same country as them for the last 18 months or so. In fact, we've spent maybe two and a half years out of the last 7 living in England, so this won't really be any different in terms of how much we see them, but they still can't really understand. I guess they've hoped that we'd finally come to our senses and return to England for good. Anyway, the reason we didn't tell them earlier was because we didn't want to upset them if we weren't going to get our visa...so we waited until we'd got far enough that we thought that we had a pretty good chance of getting it. And the visa was granted last week. We are off at the end of the month! :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jo2004 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 We decided to tell our parents before the whole process has started. They are not happy about it but they are aware that this is our dream. I think that deep inside they were expecting this as we have started to talk about migrating few years ago. We are living with my grandmother and I have decided to not to tell her. I do not want to worry her if we do not have the visa yet. We will tell her when the visa will be granted. We only told her that there is a possibility that my husband will go to AU to start a new job. We are affraid to tell my grammy because we are her only family but sooner or later we will have to.:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ReginaPhalange Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Hello everyone! We've been talking about it for years so both our families know it's a strong possibility. My mum is the only one who knows we've been in touch with a migration officer though. She's upset, but she will be on the next plane out if she can talk her OH into it! :jiggy: DH told his dad he had applied for a job in Australia and his dad couldn't have swept it under the carpet any quicker! He probably assumes DH won't get the job and we'll give up after that :no:. As for my granny, we have tried to talk to her about it but she becomes hysterical and talks about spiders, sharks, the ozone layer, tells us we're insane, etc. I am dreading the conversation when we finally tell her we're going. We are the only family left who live within driving distance. I suspect she might cut me out of her life and never speak to me again :cry: She's still angry at my mum for going to live in Spain! Good luck to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
street family Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 hi there, i am just going up to my mum now to tell her we have booked our flights and leave in 8wks !! she does know we will be gone before xmas but its hearing the final day!!. I also told everyone soon as we started planning ,but it does still come to people as a shock when your visas come through !! .I worry to much about other peoples feelings ,which is silly as we are all excited as a family .good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmithFamily Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Really appreciate all the replies. I think we'll probably tell our families sooner rather than later. However, just so you know what we might be facing: We were watching TV the other day when a competition came on that offered a trip to Australia. Thinking of it as an ideal opportunity to make a subtle reference to wanting to live in australia I said "Wow I'd love that prize" My mam said "well enter it and I hope you win BUT if you do win please don't enjoy it so much that you want to stay there" I changed the subject after that :laugh: My mam will react the worst of any parent/grandparent for definite. She got upset when my brother moved from the NE of England to Essex!! A mere 5 hour car ride away! haha!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mdeejacks Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Really appreciate all the replies. I think we'll probably tell our families sooner rather than later. However, just so you know what we might be facing: We were watching TV the other day when a competition came on that offered a trip to Australia. Thinking of it as an ideal opportunity to make a subtle reference to wanting to live in australia I said "Wow I'd love that prize" My mam said "well enter it and I hope you win BUT if you do win please don't enjoy it so much that you want to stay there" I changed the subject after that :laugh: My mam will react the worst of any parent/grandparent for definite. She got upset when my brother moved from the NE of England to Essex!! A mere 5 hour car ride away! haha!! funny story from where i'm standing but not so funny where you are. it will never be easy so good luck. my family are still cold on the subject cheers jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nikkidel Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I had been keeping my family informed by email and in person when I've seen them. Since I told them we've been granted the visa I've only heard from my mum who phoned a couple of weeks later but didn't mention anything about visas or Australia. I've not heard from my father, brothers, sisters or cousin since then, and that was nearly four weeks ago now. Very weird, and I really can't understand why... My sister and her husband love Canada and if they were to go there I'd be so excited for them, and desperate to keep in touch to hear how things were going...so I'm just not sure why the silence on the subject from my entire family, and total lack of communication from anyone but my mum. Oh well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmithFamily Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 funny story from where i'm standing but not so funny where you are.it will never be easy so good luck. my family are still cold on the subject cheers jack Well you have to laugh don't you? If you didn't you'd go mad!! :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmithFamily Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 I had been keeping my family informed by email and in person when I've seen them. Since I told them we've been granted the visa I've only heard from my mum who phoned a couple of weeks later but didn't mention anything about visas or Australia. I've not heard from my father, brothers, sisters or cousin since then, and that was nearly four weeks ago now. Very weird, and I really can't understand why... My sister and her husband love Canada and if they were to go there I'd be so excited for them, and desperate to keep in touch to hear how things were going...so I'm just not sure why the silence on the subject from my entire family, and total lack of communication from anyone but my mum. Oh well... So sorry to hear that. It seems like a strange reaction. As you say I'd be happy for anyone who decided that's what they wanted to do with their lives. In fact my brother has talked about going to the USA at some point in the future & if he did I'd be absolutely chuffed to bits for him. Anyway, I hope your family come round eventually. Perhaps once they realise how cool a holiday it'd be for them?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fyrish Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 We are just waiting for our 176 (SS) visa (hopefully) meds etc all finalised. We haven't told our families as are dreading it.......... Will have to tell them soon as have booked to go to Perth in February for a reccie and hopefully to validate. Every family is different though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TipsyKoala Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 My only bit of advice is to make sure you tell everyone yourself...my in-laws told the rest of the family before we could and put a very negative spin on it. That meant we had other family members ringing us to say we were being selfish and had made their Mum cry! If I did it again I would brave the stress and keep it to myself, I can't understand why some people are so negative but unfortunatley they appear in every family so brace yourself! Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nikkidel Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 So sorry to hear that. It seems like a strange reaction. As you say I'd be happy for anyone who decided that's what they wanted to do with their lives. In fact my brother has talked about going to the USA at some point in the future & if he did I'd be absolutely chuffed to bits for him. Anyway, I hope your family come round eventually. Perhaps once they realise how cool a holiday it'd be for them?!! Yeah, I hope so too. But regardless of whether they do or don't, we still intend to do what we think is best for us and our children...so it's all good. Still so happy that we've been given this opportunity. :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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