Guest Carrie Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hi everyone I've been scanning this forum for a while now, to see if anyone else is going through the same as my husband and I. We're going through a terrible turmoil about wanting to go back to Australia and wondering if this is something that we genuinely want to do, or if we are suffering from Ping-Pong itis!! When you're trying to make such huge decisions, doubt is an inevitable part of the process. We're not sure if we'd really be happier back there, or if we're just experiencing some re-bound feelings which will pass in time, and it's just something we have to go through before we settle again. We were in Oz for five years and it was quite a tough experience for us. We moved around a few states trying to settle. The main problem was that we struggled to find a place which would accommodate both of our careers. During the five years, only one of us was ever in work, we never managed to both be working at the same time. In January 2010 we came to N. Ireland, rather than return to England. We were only here 12 days when I was diagnosed with Cancer. I'm ok now, and everyone keeps telling us to 'get on with our lives' but we feel so differently about everything now and we're so confused about where we want to continue our lives. There were plenty of things we disliked about Australia, but also things we liked. We also feel that we have not returned to the same Uk which we left in 2004. Sorry this post is so long, but I felt some background was neccessary if anyone was wanting to understand our situation and offer any advice. Thanks Carrie :0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2and3 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Well, just had a quick scan through your old posts. How do you feel about reading them now ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hi everyone I've been scanning this forum for a while now, to see if anyone else is going through the same as my husband and I. We're going through a terrible turmoil about wanting to go back to Australia and wondering if this is something that we genuinely want to do, or if we are suffering from Ping-Pong itis!! When you're trying to make such huge decisions, doubt is an inevitable part of the process. We're not sure if we'd really be happier back there, or if we're just experiencing some re-bound feelings which will pass in time, and it's just something we have to go through before we settle again. We were in Oz for five years and it was quite a tough experience for us. We moved around a few states trying to settle. The main problem was that we struggled to find a place which would accommodate both of our careers. During the five years, only one of us was ever in work, we never managed to both be working at the same time. In January 2010 we came to N. Ireland, rather than return to England. We were only here 12 days when I was diagnosed with Cancer. I'm ok now, and everyone keeps telling us to 'get on with our lives' but we feel so differently about everything now and we're so confused about where we want to continue our lives. There were plenty of things we disliked about Australia, but also things we liked. We also feel that we have not returned to the same Uk which we left in 2004. Sorry this post is so long, but I felt some background was neccessary if anyone was wanting to understand our situation and offer any advice. Thanks Carrie :0) Hi Carrie. God, that is a difficult one. Firstly great news the big C, fingers crossed you stay well and fit, which I am sure you will do. Don't take this as a criticism Carrie, but it is very easy to say 'Get on with your lives', though maybe said with the best of intentions it is a very personal dilemma and the thoughts that are running through your mind are as deep and as personal as you are, so for anybody to say 'Get on with your life', though understandable is all well and good in theory, but much more difficult to put into practice my friend. What I am about to say is an extremely PERSONAL point of view and I don't even hope it can answer your dilemma. But you say that whilst you liked and disliked Australia to some degree, lets ace facts, most migrants would agree with this sentiment, nothing wrong in being honest, but your main sticking point seems to be the work situation. Arriving in a new country can take its toll on the most hardy, to think otherwise is daft. It takes time, patience, understanding and acceptance before you can call anywhere 'home', put this together with the fact that personal finances are also a struggle it really is putting great strain on any new venture. I am the first to admit that money shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, happiness is my main concern. But in reality lets be honest, if finance are struggling ANY other problems you face can be magnified out of all proportion and your life cab=n be a struggle. So with that said, I would say this. Even though you don't say what careers you are in I am SURE if you gave a little more information there would be dozens of people on here who could help you out, i.e., where to go for employment for both of you, the cost of living in your chosen destination, the lit is endless. I will say this, don't give up on the dream just yet, ask many questions and I am sure you will be able to come to a reasoned and logical outcome. If that yearning is still there to go back, you owe it to yourselves to do all you can to facilitate this. Just keep plugging away, and like I said ask on here, there are many hundreds of people who will offer their support and advice. Good luck in whatever lays ahead Carrie, lets face it, after you had the big C, you deserve a bit of luck and to go down EVERY avenue that will bring you happiness matey. Cheer Tony.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest 47403 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hi Carrie firstly congratulations on being all clear of the big 'C' This is what you posted a while back Was it all worth it? In a word - NO! If I had my time again I would never have left the life I had in the Uk. In saying that though, I would not have experienced the migration process, so in a way I am glad that the hideous experience of Australia has opened my eyes to the wonders of the Uk and Europe. What I have noticed on this forum is there are a couple of people who have to constantly justify there return or intended return to the UK from Aus whether they feel deep down they have failed I don't know, however this doesn't sound like one of those comments, It sounds as if you had a unhappy experience when you were living In Australia and seeing as you gave it 5 years no one can say you didn't give it a chance If I had a period like that in my life I certainly wouldn't want to go back to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Oh dear, what a dilemma. I would say that unless you have a marvellous opportunity not to be missed here in Australia then dont miss it but given your very evident unhappiness while here I would be most hesitant about taking it! I doubt Australia has got any better since your departure. I think one has to get used to the colour of one's own grass at the end of the day and realize that no one else's is really greener and the damned stuff still needs mowing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carrie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Hi everyone Firstly, many thanks to all of you who took the time to respond to me, I really appreciate it, and also, thanks for your good wishes regarding my health. I'm not sure if I've done this right, or if I'm meant to reply to each of you individually. I didn't realise I could actually read all my old posts!! I remember writing them feeling very bitter and angry and frustrated, though :rolleyes:. I struggled for 5 years with the Australian red-tape and found it hugely demoralising that I couldn't just get a teaching job ( my degree wasn't recognised etc etc) and different states have different rules..... I spent so long battling the system and it crushed my spirit. It was hard for us to settle when one of us was out of work and being supported by the other, and as we moved to find work, we uprooted ourselves and never settled and made friends, which also added to the negativity. When I look back (and hopefully with not too much of a rose-tinted aspect!) it wasn't the actual country/lifestyle that I disliked, but the struggles we had and our experience of it. We felt that, as hard as we tried, it just wasn't panning out for us. I believe in fate, and it wasn't meant to be as I had Cancer, but obviously didn't know it at the time. We're trying to be really mature and not too emotional about things, but we're sensible enough to realise that there's always an element of grass-is-greener, so that's why we're not rushing into anything. We're just trying to weigh up the odds, admitting that both places have good/bad points, but at the end of the day, which country will give us the best start again and ultimately the best lifestyle/opportunities. We are both out of woek here, my husband spent last year caring for me as I had a nasty time with the chemo, and I'm now coming to the end of my 'sick period'. My husband has applied for several jobs and not heard anything, but the other day he put out some feelers in Australia and has bagged a telephone interview already - maybe fate!? We're not the same people who came back in 2010, the Cancer experience has changed all that, and we're certainly not the same people who first went out in 2004. I'm just glad that I'm alive now and am not the aggressively ambitious person I used to be. I'd be a lot more content doing anything, as I'm not hell-bent on pursuing my career now, and I need to take it easy anyway so I'd only be looking for part-time. Anyway, I'd better stop or this'll turn into a book ha ha!! Cheers Carrie :0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2and3 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Well I love reading books so post away. It is really good to hear other peoples experiences and feelings. How do you both stand with your visas? Oh and how was it reading your old posts?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Good luck Carrie with your decision... having Cancer has made you revaluate your life, and everything else pales into insignificance. Whatever road you choose to go down, my very best wishes for a full and happy life, you deserve it. love Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Firstly, well done on beating the cancer. From reading your experiences while here I can't understand why you would potentially want to go through them again. We are returning to the UK later this year, we aren't recent immigrants and our reasons are many and varied and come down to chosen work direction and genuinely preferring England. The problem with ping pongers is they tend to see the country they left through rose tinted glasses each time they move. You tend to think it wasn't so bad and maybe it was just me or whatever. It's hard for someone returning to be unbiased but I see the positives in both countries for different people. From what I have seen from different people on here if you fall into that group that just doesn't gel with this country it wont work for them. All the best with whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carrie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Hi How do you read your old posts? I can remember how I felt when I was writing them, I was out of work and stuck in the bush with the huntsmans and feeling very, very low!! We're both citizens and have passports so that wouldn't be a problem. The main thing is the 2 big hairy dogs which we'd take back, one of which we had in Oz and brought back to the UK with us. My parents think we're mad - maybe we are ha ha, but you only live once. Cheers Carrie :0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2and3 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 click on your name and it will show 'find more posts' by yourself. Yes,we only live once. -lol -to state the obvious.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cricketbackinengland Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I would stand still Carrie. Just sit back and smell the roses for a while. You've been through a lot and possibly you may just need some calm and reflection before making any further big decisions. It takes time to shrink your life back into a familiar routine and place. Good luck with whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 So happy Th Big C has cleared up, its a valgur thing. What you have to do is sit down a think what you disliked about Aus. What will you do now that will make it any diffrent. I still suffer from rose tinted glass athobia. Work was an issue, you need to be happy in work, its 40 hours + of your week. As for being bitter in your previous posts, thats ok this is what this site is about, pour your heart out, even if it is negative about Aus life. Unless somone has been throogh what you havebeen through they will never know how you and many others have and do feel. Sping is round the corner Spend the summer hear and think long and hard about your next move. Good luck what ever you do, but don't be affrade to pour your heart out with us, most of us understand, eeven if some don't. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Unless somone has been throogh what you havebeen through they will never know how you and many others have and do feel. Sping is round the corner Spend the summer hear and think long and hard about your next move. X From what I can gather, most of the OP unhappiness in OZ stemmed from the fact that only one of them could get a job, here in UK neither of them has a job. So if the cause of their unhappiness is actually doubled by coming back to the UK then what is the point of staying? I have a family member who is a well educated, professional and and it has taken him almost 2 YEARS to get another job after being made redundent in April 2009. When he first lost his job he was confident he would get another fairly quickly because he has never been unemployed before in his life. However, he was shaken to the core after the first anniversary of his unemployment loomed without even a sniff of a job. He occasionally made it through to second interview stage but was pipped at the post. He has finally managed to secure a very good job but 2 yrs of trying has taken its toll. He was begining to lose confidence in himself and his abilities. So, back to the OP, I would say that if you don't find work in the UK in a reasonable amount of time, ie before you begin to suffer financially and emotionally then a move back to OZ would be your best option. I wish you all the best in what you decide and may you stay healthy in mind and body. Best wishes Metoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furkew Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hi How do you read your old posts? http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/search.php?searchid=2685009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hope you make the right decision for yourselves, only you can and know what you want. Glad you are in remission with the C its a terrible shock to the system. Changes life as we know it I believe. Live for the day and do not sweat on the small stuff, as long as we have health and enough money to live a reasonable life that is all we ask for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 From what I can gather, most of the OP unhappiness in OZ stemmed from the fact that only one of them could get a job, here in UK neither of them has a job. So if the cause of their unhappiness is actually doubled by coming back to the UK then what is the point of staying? I have a family member who is a well educated, professional and and it has taken him almost 2 YEARS to get another job after being made redundent in April 2009. When he first lost his job he was confident he would get another fairly quickly because he has never been unemployed before in his life. However, he was shaken to the core after the first anniversary of his unemployment loomed without even a sniff of a job. He occasionally made it through to second interview stage but was pipped at the post. He has finally managed to secure a very good job but 2 yrs of trying has taken its toll. He was begining to lose confidence in himself and his abilities. So, back to the OP, I would say that if you don't find work in the UK in a reasonable amount of time, ie before you begin to suffer financially and emotionally then a move back to OZ would be your best option. I wish you all the best in what you decide and may you stay healthy in mind and body. Best wishes Metoo Your right no fun no work, any where you are. So totally agree with you. You have to go where the work is. Work has been patchy in what I do at times, and natually I think of Australia for work, because I can. Hopefully things will pick up soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carrie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I would stand still Carrie. Just sit back and smell the roses for a while. You've been through a lot and possibly you may just need some calm and reflection before making any further big decisions. It takes time to shrink your life back into a familiar routine and place. Good luck with whatever you decide. Hi Thanks for the advice, it's certainly been something that's gone through my mind, I suppose only time will tell - if I settle back down or still have yearnings! Cheers Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carrie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 click on your name and it will show 'find more posts' by yourself. Yes,we only live once. -lol -to state the obvious.. Thanks for the tip, it certainly made very interesting reading!!!:wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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