New thread about Oz-please contribute and assist my therapy

[BritChickx]

How odd. Surely not ALL aussies are like this? I hope not anyway as I wanna settle in Aus :laugh:

 

Btw, if I was with someone for 4 years and still couldn't tell me he loved me, I'd leave them, prob would have left them after 2 years!

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

How odd. Surely not ALL aussies are like this? I hope not anyway as I wanna settle in Aus :laugh:

 

Btw, if I was with someone for 4 years and still couldn't tell me he loved me, I'd leave them, prob would have left them after 2 years!

 

Hi Britchickx

 

Unfortunately ALL Aussie men are the same, unlike the magnificent men in the uk and because of this marriage failures in the uk are at 1 in 3, where in Australia marriage failures are at 3 in 3 and it appears its ALWAYS the mans fault, as usual. lol

 

Joking aside, does anyone really know the divorce rates in both countries it might point out a slight bit of biased thinking on here against Aussie men, but then again it might not, could be interesting to find out though.

 

jim:wink:

[BritChickx]

Divorce rates in Australia : Divorce Rate in Australia

 

Divorce rates drop in Australia

 

Divorce rate (most recent) by country

 

http://www.mydivorce.com.au/divorceadvice/divorce-statistics-australia.htm

[Guest Caitmelbourne]

Yeah it's strange. But no not all Aussie guys are like this! I live with 2 lovely lovely lads who are from Melbourne who I know would make great boyfriends.

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

Divorce rates in Australia : Divorce Rate in Australia

 

Divorce rates drop in Australia

 

Divorce rate (most recent) by country

 

Divorce Statistics AUSTRALIA - Marriage and Divorce Research and Statistics

 

Hi Britchickx

 

the most recent divorce rates by country section shows that the uk divorce rate is actually higher than Australians, how can that be with ALL these dispassionate Aussie men not showing their feelings.

 

I was getting really excited by these posts about Aussie mens deficiencies, thinking that when i turned up in my speedos looking like David Hasslehoff and having his brilliant sense of humour and being in touch with my feminine side, that the Aussie women would be queing up. Damn it, i'll have to stick it out with the wife, i don't want the uk divorce rate to go up any further.

 

jim:wink:

[byrned]

To OP do you ever worry if you stay here too long, that could become you? rather a frightening thought.

[byrned]

Hi Britchickx

 

the most recent divorce rates by country section shows that the uk divorce rate is actually higher than Australians, how can that be with ALL these dispassionate Aussie men not showing their feelings.

 

I was getting really excited by these posts about Aussie mens deficiencies, thinking that when i turned up in my speedos looking like David Hasslehoff and having his brilliant sense of humour and being in touch with my feminine side, that the Aussie women would be queing up. Damn it, i'll have to stick it out with the wife, i don't want the uk divorce rate to go up any further.

 

jim:wink:

 

Maybe because their wifes don't know any better, in the UK us women put up with no ****. he he

[BritChickx]

Yeah Aussie women obviously put up with it, or don't know what they're missing - that there's better men out there :biglaugh: and I wouldn't compare the divorce rate here to Aus, we do have three times the population of Aus!

[Guest itskaren]

I haven't seen it happen here but I have no reason to doubt that it does happen,especially in stores that open late at night but I would be surprised if it was a common thing in daylight hours,but then again I live in a country town where just about everyone knows each other so most people wouldn't be game to do it,maybe in the bigger regional towns it happens more often.

 

Well I see it all the time!

[paulv]

OK, here we go! Where do I start? Firstly I need to be careful. my wife's a 'Strayan, so I don't want to be too rude. That said......

We'll have been here (Geelong) 2 years in september, so I feel that i speak with some insight. Hopefully by getting this bile out of my system I'll feel much better.

1. Making friends: why is this so bloody difficult? I regard myself as a reasonably normal person (in his late 30's) who likes a laugh. Here I feel like I'm in the land of the living dead! Many of the blokes I've met and socialised with..well, we kind of speak the same language but its like there's nothing there. Irony, what's that? To cap things of, yesterday I met someone who'd been here 43 years, and he's still having difficulty trying to make friends! Gulp.

2. AFL: I find it bizarre and baffling how everyone young and old male and female alike, seems obsessed by this sport which is let's face it, irrelevant outside of Australia. Oh, the looks you get when asked what team 'ya barrack for', and answer NONE ACTUALLY. It's like you've just spat on their mother's grave.

3. Pubs: I had the misfortune of having a beer at a typical Aussie pub the other day. It was like stepping into Hades...walls covered with TV screens, TAB counter, pokies as far as the eye could see, leery blokes (unfortunately some from my ex cricket club). Why not just call it a seedy betting shop (where you also buy ridiculous little pots of beer)? Yes I've been to other pubs less scary than this but I mention it as one of the blokes I was with described it as a 'crusty local'..I had images of a grandfather clock ticking in the corner, a labrador sleeping by the fire, and an old fella in a cloth cap singing to himself in Gaelic.

4. Australian Men: I had a pretty good idea a very long time ago that this species is probably one of the dullest in creation..but I just didn't believe it, surely I was unlucky. They can't all be strong silent (mute) types, who leave all the talking to the Sheilas. No they really are. Its OK if you are an outdoorsy surfing footy playing type, and have had brain cells knocked off progressively over the years. But try a bit of banter, a bit of humour..oh dear oh dear. I think my joining above mentioned cricket club galvanised my opinion: off-the-field conversation revolves around, er..footy, beer, bigoted racial stereotypes (I hear what you're saying about the pot calling the kettle black), eg all poms are poofters, bigoted opinions on the world, ie everywhere outside Australia is crap..blah blah blah yawn, next

5. Australian TV: I can only tolerate ABC or SBS, and that's only in short bursts, and sadly that is mostly British content. Enough said.

6. Australian Culture: Let's face it, there isn't any. It's an anti-culture, seemingly revelling in all that is crass. There is a celebration of bogun behaviour, eg wearing slippers and pyjamas at the supermarket (WTF), wearing white socks when not doing exercise (!!), its like there are so many Paul Calfs around. Even the politicians try to muscle in on the act, calling every one mate, and trying to be all working class. Grow up. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, think back to the Sydney Olympics closing ceremony, when they celebrated the Hills Hoist (something you hang your washing on)..good grief.

7. Australian Spirit: they think they are the only ones who can show a bit of grit. Everyone likes to see themselves as a 'little battler', which is ironic as they step into their massive Ford Territory to drive 500m down the road to buy milk, then head off home to watch (rubbish) telly on a 52inch plasma. Try sitting in a traffic jam on the M25 for 3 hours, trying to catch a plan out of heathrow. That takes grit. There is also an unsettling sameness about everything. Your accent is the same whether you live in Tassie or NT. you either drive a ford or a holden. The shops look the same, the streets look the same, everywhere. Everyone over a certain age raves on about crap bands that have never been heard of elsewhere..Skyhooks, Hunters and collectors, Cold Chisel. And said bands are the soundtrack to their lives. If you've been in Kuta Bali on NYE, I think you'll know what i mean.

I'm not feeling better yet

 

You made me pee my sides, especially the Paul Calf bit.

"Have you got any Nearvana?"

 

More bile please mate!

[Guest guest36762]

Thanks everyone who liked the thread . no comment to those who disagree, apart from NIgelinoz: please no more links to clips apparently 'sending up' aussie 'culture'. Yes I realise this will result in you posting even more, thereby confirming that you are, indeed, 'STRAYAN.

Yes I AM A WHINGEING POM!!! I think I feel better already. actually I was a bit worried overnight that I'd suffer such an angry backlash against what i'd written. NOT YET. I'm thinking of posting a thread entitled "10 things I like about Geelong"

[Guest proud2beaussie]

thereby confirming that you are, indeed, 'STRAYAN.

Gee thanks for confirming that,after reading some posts in this thread http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/chewing-fat/86758-aussies-really-poms-who-got-here-before-us.html I was starting to wonder whether I'm just a pom who get here before you.:biggrin::wink:

Don't worry though I wouldn't want to delay your therapy so I won't post any more clips,unless you beg me of course.:biggrin:

[Guest proud2beaussie]

 

I'm thinking of posting a thread entitled "10 things I like about Geelong"

Geez you found 10 things to like about Geelong! that's amazing,the way some people talk about Geelong you would think it was the a**e end of the universe,that must make it worse than 'ackney,I'm glad you found so much to like about it.:biggrin::wink:

[Guest proud2beaussie]

 

I was a bit worried overnight that I'd suffer such an angry backlash against what i'd written. NOT YET.

Give it time ,us Aussies are a bit slow you know,it may take us a while to think of something witty to write in reply to you.:cute::wink:

[Guest guest36762]

Give it time ,us Aussies are a bit slow you know,it may take us a while to think of something witty to write in reply to you.:cute::wink:

Don't worry though I wouldn't want to delay your therapy so I won't post any more clips,unless you beg me of course.

 

Are you sure you're Australian, you don't seem to possess that puerile streak (usually interpreted as funny by lobotomites)? I think you're actually pommy..sorry if that comes as an insult, none intended-quite the opposite in fact. :wink:

[Guest proud2beaussie]

Well according to Aldo,(our resident expert on all things Australian) Australians are just poms with fewer brain cells.maybe I'm just a pom with a few more brain cells,probably down to the fact that I don't drink Fosters lager.:biggrin:

Steer clear of Fosters by the way,only useful for polishing the chrome on the boganmobile in my view :wink: stick to James Squire or Cascade Premium.

[Guest proud2beaussie]

By the way harpodom,

I hope you don't think I'm taking the p**s out of you,I'm not really,just trying to show you that not all Australians are like the ones you have evidently met so far in your time in Australia.

[Guest chloew]

7. Australian Spirit: they think they are the only ones who can show a bit of grit. Everyone likes to see themselves as a 'little battler', which is ironic as they step into their massive Ford Territory to drive 500m down the road to buy milk, then head off home to watch (rubbish) telly on a 52inch plasma. Try sitting in a traffic jam on the M25 for 3 hours, trying to catch a plan out of heathrow. That takes grit. There is also an unsettling sameness about everything. Your accent is the same whether you live in Tassie or NT. you either drive a ford or a holden. The shops look the same, the streets look the same, everywhere. Everyone over a certain age raves on about crap bands that have never been heard of elsewhere..Skyhooks, Hunters and collectors, Cold Chisel. And said bands are the soundtrack to their lives. If you've been in Kuta Bali on NYE, I think you'll know what i mean

 

The whole post was spot on. This bit really made me chuckle as it annoys me when they say how "Australian" someone is for doing something brave or out of the ordinary. I didn't realise this was the definition of "Australian" until I came here............

[Guest guest36762]

But seriously, what area do you live in? Have you thought about moving to another part of Aus before giving up? (I assume you do want to move back otherwise you wouldn't be posting).

Maybe you won't be able to change the TV or the pubs but you can make new friends and be living in a better area, if you did move to another part.

 

Geelong. I'm not ready to go back yet. I enjoy whingeing about it too much.

[christopher]

One thing that I really cant understand is why a lot of Australians don't wear shoes??? I'm amazed at the amount of people walking around barefoot!

[Guest proud2beaussie]

Geelong. I'm not ready to go back yet. I enjoy whingeing about it too much.

:cute:

Glad to hear it too,it's good to know that you are living up to the reputation of poms.:wink::wink:

[Guest guest36762]

Just about swallowed my tongue reading this...........LOVE IT..........couldn't have written it better myself.............Keep it coming.

So down and depressed at the moment but this has really lightened my mood this evening.

Who needs therapy when you come across posts like this - thanks -

 

Gill

 

Thanks Gill, glad to be of service. I see you're in Lara, not far away if you want to chat

Dom

[bottle top]

One thing that I really cant understand is why a lot of Australians don't wear shoes??? I'm amazed at the amount of people walking around barefoot!

 

 

It takes them to long to work out which is the left shoe and the right, and then they have to work out how to get out the front door:cute::cute:

[Guest Julz]

lol, have to agree with everything you have said in your post, very entertaining, especially the bit about the Ford Territory and Plasma TV....sorry that is me, I own both but I do live in Darwin and there's not much else to do here apart from watching rubbish TV.....apart from UKTV

[Guest guest36762]

You made me pee my sides, especially the Paul Calf bit.

"Have you got any Nearvana?"

 

More bile please mate!

 

well, you asked. And there's plenty more bile! some points that need further explanation....

 

AUSTRALIAN TV:

No I couldn't mention this subject without a 'special mention' of Channels 7, 9 and 10 (or 'The Monkey Channels' as I call them) a source of muchos bile. If you've not witnessed them for yourself (you lucky git), try to imagine ITV...but aimed at people with (even worse) amnesia. Why else would there be adverts every 2 minutes or so (which last 5-10 minutes), not only that but they repeat the SAME ONES (often in THE SAME AD BREAK) every time. Why else would said adverts consist of some bloke with a speech impediment (sorry Australian) shouting at you to come to a book sale in HOPPERS CROSSING!!!! where they're literally throwing books at customers they're so ****.

Aside from the dodgy adverts in the breaks, many shows are just long commercials themselves eg Good Morning Australia. How the presenters can look interested as they chat to some fitness psycho whilst in the background ridiculously buff men and women gyrate on machines which would cripple an average (lard-arse) Australian in minutes....I suppose they just think of the cash.

Once you have battled (that's where the term 'Aussie battler' comes from!) past daytime TV, then you have a diet of bland homogenised american drama or comedy shows to contend with.

My all time favourite (though I've never watched it) is 'the Mentalist', as I like to think that it stars Alan Partridge.

 

Oh, and ABC/SBS don't escape scott free either.

 

The main reasons these channels are palatable is the lack of adverts (or relative lack with SBS), and the high percentage of BBC content. When they have a go (fair go, MATE!) at making home-grown programs, they often miss the mark, and look v amateurish. Eg HUNGRY BEAST which is a confusing and frankly irritating mix of comedy sketches and serious 'hard-hitting' reportage, without the slightest hint of self consciousness. utter crap

 

AUSTRALIAN MEN:

Another of their problems is that they do not possess a self deprecating gene. Australian boys are bred to be tough and not to be cry babies. An interesting insight into this is the way Nutrigrain is marketed in Australia vs UK. Here, it is aimed at boys wanting to be iron men and banging on about the protein content. In the UK its just marketed as a normal (very sweet) cereal. The result of all this toughening up is that they have beaten out of them at a very early age the ability to laugh at themselves..rather try and continue looking tough, whatever. Hence not much of a sense of humour, unless you regard Benny Hill as funny.

It is probably the main reason for the pommeling (no pun intended) we have had in the Ashes until 2005. Australian men are tough nuts alright, just don't expect them to be much of a laugh