Thinking of going back

[Guest ElizaBee]

I guess if you view it not so much as going back but going on with the next step in your life, just the same way you came to Australia, you will be in a better mind set for making a forward move. Good luck to anyone moving on to their next adventure I reckon!

 

Sorry to hear about your predicament Nigel - been one end of a long distance relationship myself back in the day when there was only airmail and BOAC did the route - phone calls cost L1 a minute (for 3 whole years!). It's a difficult situation but hopefully with the advance of technology and cheaper airfares it isnt so bad.

 

Thanks for that Quoll and Ali.

That actually makes a lot of sense and has made me feel lots more positive!

 

Sorry to hear you have had such a rough ride uklovingaussie.

This recession cant last forever, very much hope things take a turn for the better for you.

[Guest treesea]

Thanks for this post, especially the last line. That's really nice to read.

Very much hope we can say the same.

I have a niggling feeling that i have wasted the last 12 years also - trying not to think about it too much though, and am trying to move forward.

We are moving back to the UK.

The idea of starting over is a little daunting. I suppose you have to take one step at a time.

 

Nigelinoz - hope things work out well for you both. At least you are in the right job! Best of luck anyway.

 

I found the thought of coming back fairly daunting. And "starting over" has been a lot more expensive and taken far more time, than we had anticipated. I fully expected to settle in West London, where I am from, and just carry on with my career, so commuting to work each day into the Basingstoke/Bracknell/Slough area where a lot of the SAP work opportunities are. But I discovered what I should have known - I can't live away from the sea. The legacy of living in NZ and Australia for such a long time. That decision, to move to a city on the sea, meant a career change for both of us. And has probably cost us tens of thousands of pounds every year in earnings. But you know what - I couldn't care less. Edinburgh is sunny and cool (Britain, I have discovered, doesn't do my idea of "cold"), I can see the sea from the window, the buses run every five minutes ( a bit daft in a city of less than 500,000, but it's one of the most profitable bus services in Britain, so must be doing something right) the schools are like private ones in Australia and the hospitals look like five star hotels.

 

Plus there's lots of pleasant surprises. Fish costs the same price as meat. Petrol's expensive, but cars are dirt cheap, so swings and roundabouts there. The price of school uniforms is so low it's a bit daft. Maybe robots sew them. There's no such thing as school levies. Schools even supply children with jotters. Visits to the doctor are free. You have to earn zillions before they charge you for prescriptions. T-shirts cost 80p each at the market. And the best thing of all - Cineworld and its unlimited movie cards. £11.99 a month for all the movies you feel like seeing.

[Guest ElizaBee]

I found the thought of coming back fairly daunting. And "starting over" has been a lot more expensive and taken far more time, than we had anticipated. I fully expected to settle in West London, where I am from, and just carry on with my career, so commuting to work each day into the Basingstoke/Bracknell/Slough area where a lot of the SAP work opportunities are. But I discovered what I should have known - I can't live away from the sea. The legacy of living in NZ and Australia for such a long time. That decision, to move to a city on the sea, meant a career change for both of us. And has probably cost us tens of thousands of pounds every year in earnings. But you know what - I couldn't care less. Edinburgh is sunny and cool (Britain, I have discovered, doesn't do my idea of "cold"), I can see the sea from the window, the buses run every five minutes ( a bit daft in a city of less than 500,000, but it's one of the most profitable bus services in Britain, so must be doing something right) the schools are like private ones in Australia and the hospitals look like five star hotels.

 

 

 

Plus there's lots of pleasant surprises. Fish costs the same price as meat. Petrol's expensive, but cars are dirt cheap, so swings and roundabouts there. The price of school uniforms is so low it's a bit daft. Maybe robots sew them. There's no such thing as school levies. Schools even supply children with jotters. Visits to the doctor are free. You have to earn zillions before they charge you for prescriptions. T-shirts cost 80p each at the market. And the best thing of all - Cineworld and its unlimited movie cards. £11.99 a month for all the movies you feel like seeing.

 

Sounds like its a great place to live Treesea, perfect in fact.

You sound happy.

I remember Edinburgh very fondly from childhood holidays and i always wanted to take my kids for a visit.

Have your kids settled well also?

I think the first steps, selling house etc, will be the hardest. But once things are in motion i think i will be ok.

[olly]

Well Olly

 

You have a lot to learn.

 

Carrie, sorry, didn't quite understand what you meant by this - was this regarding my comment re the ashes? Or are you telling me off about something? !! Haven't posted any naughty posts have I, don't think so?

[olly]

Sounds like its a great place to live Treesea, perfect in fact.

You sound happy.

I remember Edinburgh very fondly from childhood holidays and i always wanted to take my kids for a visit.

Have your kids settled well also?

I think the first steps, selling house etc, will be the hardest. But once things are in motion i think i will be ok.

 

Edinburgh - absolutely gorgeous place. One of the world's most liveable cities:hug:

[Guest treesea]

Sounds like its a great place to live Treesea, perfect in fact.

You sound happy.

I remember Edinburgh very fondly from childhood holidays and i always wanted to take my kids for a visit.

Have your kids settled well also?

I think the first steps, selling house etc, will be the hardest. But once things are in motion i think i will be ok.

 

I did ask my children, if we went back to Australia (my OH prefers Australia but realises it's much easier to run a business here than in Australia) what did they think about it. One said "I'm staying here," and the other said "Are you going alone?" I don't usually go to their schools because of work, but one day we went to pick them up and my son had a friend with him, and there they both are, jabbering away in Scots, at such a pace I could only understand about a third of what was said. I didn't even realise they could speak Scots, because to me they always speak English. Oh yes, for sure I would say they're settled.

 

It's probably easier to sell a house in Australia than in Britain at the moment. I found the mechanics of moving back to the UK a lot more straightforward than I had expected. What really laid claim to our time and cash was realising, once we had arrived, that our plan to live in London (too polluted and decrepit - not a subject for here, but when exactly does the government of the day plan to reserve some English taxes for renovating England's infrastructure!?), or anywhere to the south come to that (too warm) wasn't going to suit us. We basically travelled around, on and off, for six months, until we found what we wanted.

[Guest PhilBen]

It seems lots of people think the move is great but then start to regret it. The UK is not a great place to be apart from being near family

[Guest mollymo]

It seems lots of people think the move is great but then start to regret it. The UK is not a great place to be apart from being near family

 

 

Of course thats just an opinion right :eek:

[Guest inlimbo]

It seems lots of people think the move is great but then start to regret it. The UK is not a great place to be apart from being near family

I like it, I liked Oz as well :cute:

[Guest inlimbo]

It seems lots of people think the move is great but then start to regret it. The UK is not a great place to be apart from being near family

Are you Earlswood?

[Guest chipper]

we re planning to move out in two months and believe me all your feelings are things i have thought about . but you know i just feel that i dont' really see many of my old friends at all .although we communicate on facebook etc.... and my dh and i would like an opportunity to see and experience something different. since having young children life is so different anyway . we never go out and see lots of friends anyway . i think its diff is you ve got a really extended family and friends around you who are always there . Although i will miss my family i feel like my children and my dh are my family and we are in this life together !!! my mum can visit and my sister who is still sulking about us going will come round eventually and visit too .

but my sister in law lives in Perth and i know that she really misses her mum and has wanted to come back since day one . but mybrother loves it and the children / its soooo hard . i think you sound like your having a real year of feeling negative and need to see your family ... but i think that we get those feelings in the UK but instead of missing family we are feeling sad about the weather and thinking of sunnier healthier climes .

England is many things ....the humour and misery are just so unique and i know nothing will replace that . (actually getting lump in throat as write this !!!) the history and culture is something that i wish my children would experience but they won't .

i guess if you get your passport for Oz and you liimit your build up of possessions you can to and fro between the two continents every few years ... the world seems to be getting smaller with internet etc....and so i think these moves are hopefully less permanent and far away as they once were for the £10 poms .if you like i ll write a list of some of the annoying things about the UK for you just toget your teeth into !!!

( perhaps you could prepare me with a Oz list !)

xx Chipper

[Guest Mannys04]

Hi Chippy we thought along the same lines as yourself when we first embarked on our adventure, but the truth is there are lots of things you can never possibly forsee until you have done it. I wouldn't try and put anyone off emigrating to Australia it is a beautiful country and it does have a lot to offer which is exactly why we are in the dilemma we are but on the other hand Australia is very different to the UK..great you might think we need a change from all this crap in the UK but in reality the change is very hard to adjust to. Having done this journey we honestly feel that we will probably never be completely happy in either Oz or UK as what one gives you the other doesn't. In reality you can't back and forth to the UK just because of the sheer cost of the flights, taking time off work, kids out of school etc. we wern't particularly close to our family's our parents babysat but we didn't feel it was that much of a loss but in reality we have realised that its not just babysitting its parenting your children, parents give advice most of which we don't want to hear but a voice of experience is usually right, the children miss out on the love of their grandparents its not the same over the phone or via the internet. We have a number of issues that make us feel that Oz cannot be a long term thing for us, jobs, education, finance. But everyones journey is different I have met lots of expats some have hated it from the start some loved it as we did at first but all the people I have met get homesick, are worse off financially, and miss things about the UK some go back some ride it out or feel they cant go back for whatever reason. It makes me sad to hear stories on here of people who have been here a long time and feel they don't have the option to return and I'm glad that it is a decision that is in our hands.

But hey I wouldn't listen to any negative comments when we were leaving the UK it is something you have to do and if you qualify for a visa then I think you have to try it which is what we always said and that if it didn't work out we would return and to me its that simple.

[Guest PomsAleius]

They would not be able to finish you from your job because of your accent, and if this was actually said to you, maybe you had a case against them. The laws in this country are clear, and don't forget that the Occ Health and Safety Act in Australia also includes psychological health. I know it is hard to prove, but I would never have allowed someone to say that to me without challenging them, and I hope that you did. If you were finished from your job you are entitled to a warning beforehand unless it is something very serious, an accent does not get you sacked in this day and age hopefully?

 

Depends. If you're on "probation", you can get sacked for anything at all. Under John Howard's ridiculous employment laws, workers in small companies had virtually no rights at all.

[Guest PhilBen]

Hi Chippy we thought along the same lines as yourself when we first embarked on our adventure, but the truth is there are lots of things you can never possibly forsee until you have done it. I wouldn't try and put anyone off emigrating to Australia it is a beautiful country and it does have a lot to offer which is exactly why we are in the dilemma we are but on the other hand Australia is very different to the UK..great you might think we need a change from all this crap in the UK but in reality the change is very hard to adjust to. Having done this journey we honestly feel that we will probably never be completely happy in either Oz or UK as what one gives you the other doesn't. In reality you can't back and forth to the UK just because of the sheer cost of the flights, taking time off work, kids out of school etc. we wern't particularly close to our family's our parents babysat but we didn't feel it was that much of a loss but in reality we have realised that its not just babysitting its parenting your children, parents give advice most of which we don't want to hear but a voice of experience is usually right, the children miss out on the love of their grandparents its not the same over the phone or via the internet. We have a number of issues that make us feel that Oz cannot be a long term thing for us, jobs, education, finance. But everyones journey is different I have met lots of expats some have hated it from the start some loved it as we did at first but all the people I have met get homesick, are worse off financially, and miss things about the UK some go back some ride it out or feel they cant go back for whatever reason. It makes me sad to hear stories on here of people who have been here a long time and feel they don't have the option to return and I'm glad that it is a decision that is in our hands.

But hey I wouldn't listen to any negative comments when we were leaving the UK it is something you have to do and if you qualify for a visa then I think you have to try it which is what we always said and that if it didn't work out we would return and to me its that simple.

When it comes to it, if you have the money then you can move back.If you don't you are stuck where you are ?

[Rodfan]

How much, roughly would peeps consider is a reasonable amount to set yourself up again with in the U.K. (lot's and a job to go to I know is sensible of course) but if you dont have this, just until you find your feet again?

[Guest treesea]

It seems lots of people think the move is great but then start to regret it. The UK is not a great place to be apart from being near family

 

Mmm, but it's a relative concept, isn't it? Compared to where? I am not rushing to England's defence (after all, I'm half English, am born there and have, since returning, migrated to Scotland) Most people in the UK have only visited places overseas rather than lived there full time. In some ways, it's only by living somewhere else that you get a basis for comparison, and learn what it is you really appreciate about the UK and what the UK does better.

 

I liked Australia as a place, and I'm an Australian citizen, but I didn't feel the connection to the land itself. That's something I really noticed when I came back, the connection to the island of Britain.

 

Being away has its advantages. It gives you time to work out what you want, away from the responsibilities that an extended family and full on jobs can impose.

[Guest treesea]

How much, roughly would peeps consider is a reasonable amount to set yourself up again with in the U.K. (lot's and a job to go to I know is sensible of course) but if you dont have this, just until you find your feet again?

 

We wanted to maintain a fairly independent footing when we came back, because my family are scattered far and wide, and I didn't want to have to deal with the politics of staying with one family member and not another. We budgeted £2,000 a month for accommodation for the first three months (London, serviced apartment) and thereafter around £1,000 a month. Then about the same for food, petrol, expenses. We were pretty sure we'd either be working within six months or set up in our own business. If on the other hand, you would stay with family or friends on returning, and expect to be working straight away, i.e. going back to your old job, or can get work via contacts, probably £200 a week for a family of four, say for three to six months, is enough to get by on for incidentals.

 

Thereafter, if you are on a limited budget, it's not much point planning for or stressing over the post six months period. In the worst case scenario, assuming you get lumped with the habitual residency test from the DWP and the local council, (not an issue with the HMRC, so if you do find work, even if only part time, I would advise you to claim child tax benefit and working tax benefit (if applicable) straight away), have less than £16,000 , end up without a job and don't want to be self employed, then the council will cover your rent and you can claim whatever allowances you'ld be entitled to.

 

Ironically, it is the ones who come back with a good house deposit, but not enough to buy a house outright in their chosen area that stand to lose the most financially on returning back to the UK ,if they don't have a job to go to. They can't get a mortgage because they haven't got jobs, but can't get any benefits because they are over the threshold for liquid assets. Then you have to ask yourself, are you prepared to risk everything you have, down to the last £16K, which includes easily liquidatable assets like stocks, bonds and deposits in ISAs, in order to live back here.

[Guest mollymo]

We wanted to maintain a fairly independent footing when we came back, because my family are scattered far and wide, and I didn't want to have to deal with the politics of staying with one family member and not another. We budgeted £2,000 a month for accommodation for the first three months (London, serviced apartment) and thereafter around £1,000 a month. Then about the same for food, petrol, expenses. We were pretty sure we'd either be working within six months or set up in our own business. If on the other hand, you would stay with family or friends on returning, and expect to be working straight away, i.e. going back to your old job, or can get work via contacts, probably £200 a week for a family of four, say for three to six months, is enough to get by on for incidentals.

 

Thereafter, if you are on a limited budget, it's not much point planning for or stressing over the post six months period. In the worst case scenario, assuming you get lumped with the habitual residency test from the DWP and the local council, (not an issue with the HMRC, so if you do find work, even if only part time, I would advise you to claim child tax benefit and working tax benefit (if applicable) straight away), have less than £16,000 , end up without a job and don't want to be self employed, then the council will cover your rent and you can claim whatever allowances you'ld be entitled to.

 

Ironically, it is the ones who come back with a good house deposit, but not enough to buy a house outright in their chosen area that stand to lose the most financially on returning back to the UK ,if they don't have a job to go to. They can't get a mortgage because they haven't got jobs, but can't get any benefits because they are over the threshold for liquid assets. Then you have to ask yourself, are you prepared to risk everything you have, down to the last £16K, which includes easily liquidatable assets like stocks, bonds and deposits in ISAs, in order to live back here.

 

 

To come back in this country and buy a house you will need a ten percent deposit at least, If your renting then look at around £1200 a month unless you want to eat baked beans and live in a garage or like you say living in london a tad more. We live on about £1000 a month but we have a low mortgage, if we rent then it would be about £1200 a month.

[Guest guest12791]

Hi there I am new to this site and just thought I would post my thoughts for a bit of therapy.

We have been in Oz for just over 2 1/2 years now, we all loved it from day 1 and never really had any doubts that we have done the right thing about moving here, however recently I have become increasingly homesick. Ive started to think about how my life would be if we moved back to the UK I didn't realise just how much I was going to miss everyone and how much family and friends were going to miss me. Theres lots of things about our experience in OZ that concern me and make me think that in the long term it may be better to return to the UK, such as:

Education System - not as academic as UK

Career prospects, my OH cannot get a job in his chosen career, in fact can't even get an interview, although he does have a job

I don't feel that we will ever belong we'll always be POM's even though in time our kids would be accepted as aussies,

We live in an area that has a lot of ex pats and although we have made lots of friends, I don't really feel that I can call them proper friends not ones that you can rely on or go to if you need to talk.

We could have applied for our citizenship a few months ago but I'm not interested I don't feel australian and therefore would feel a fraud by becoming a citizen.

The only thing that is stopping me from packing up and going back is the children, we came out to Oz for them to give them a better lifestyle, safer environment to live, and for all the faults i've mentioned Oz scores on this front my kids are happy here and dont want to go back. Rather than jump in feet first we have booked a trip back to the UK to visit family and friends and see how we feel, we are hoping that the reasons why we left will smack us in the face and we'll come back to OZ thinking no way!! But on the other hand I'm hoping that it might clarify my feelings to go back to what we know.

Hello there, hope you have a lovely holiday back in the uk and you make a decision that suits both you and your family, good luck to you, annemarie:wubclub:

[Guest jackie Macdonald]

Mannys04,

 

My thoughts are with you!!.. it's not easy.

 

jackie xx

[Guest treesea]

To come back in this country and buy a house you will need a ten percent deposit at least, If your renting then look at around £1200 a month unless you want to eat baked beans and live in a garage or like you say living in london a tad more. We live on about £1000 a month but we have a low mortgage, if we rent then it would be about £1200 a month.

 

£1,200 a month seems a bit steep. What would that get you over here these days and where? Our flat is three bedrooms and costs us a bit over half of that amount. £1,200 a month would definitely be the top end for rents up here. Manchester was even cheaper than here. I suppose it depends on where you want to live. I saw a reasonably nice house, three bedrooms, for rent in Aberfan for £390 a month earlier this year. I think property prices must have come down a fair way, because I also saw on the web recently what looked like a fairly nice 2 bedroom flat in the Kilburn area of London for a mere £360 a month.

 

Mind you, if you are coming back to no job and need time to get established, it's possible people may not be able to take advantage of these deals. It's worth considering offering to pay the whole of the rent, six months in advance, because it does avoid some of the landlord's risk and would give you breathing space while you got sorted.

[possie in brissy]

hi, I've just got back to Oz after living in England for a couple of years. I didn't want to return to Oz, I much prefer living in England but had as we had lost so much during this recession in our business, so now back to recoup money and will definitely go back to live in England. You just can't get the wonderful rich history here or the travel opportunities to Europe. I just wish I could have stayed to ride out the recession. Although the cost of living is pretty high there and there are downsides to living in the UK, the upsides far outweigh the downsides. I'll be returning as soon as.

why the user name then!!!!!:err: interesting post!!! hope it all works out 4 ya!

do ya not think there is a recession here in Aus as well as uk!!!!

nice to hear positives about uk from someone who has lived on both side of the sandwich (so to speak) How long ya plannin on stayin in Oz then????

would love to hear your "upsides and downsides" it helps hearin other peoples stories to confirm your own thoughts.

hope everythin works out 4 you guys

take care:chatterbox:

[Guest funkymonkey]

Hi we the same have been here 3 years and are heading back maybe March(ish)2010. we have liked living here initially but now it beginning to grind on myself and my OH. as well as the kids, we the same live in a massive housing estate with loads of "Poms" and i am sick of hearing "Oh not another POM!!! I actually got finished from my job of 2 half yrs and there lame excuse was "Your accent gets on the supervisors nerves" i am now jobless, i have since lost my home cause we could not pay the ridiculous home loan with a fixed interest rate/ hence havin to pay $28,000 get out penalty as the interest rates dropped!!!

then to top it all off, my MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer and my sister had a baby!! our families helped us get back in Sept 08 and as soon as we landed all 4 of us loved every minute of it "catchin up with family, eating proper food, local pubs, wacky warehouses, costco, light nights, green grass, chippies, cheese n onion pasties, cider, morning dew, landscapes, castles, museums (that arnt just about captain cook and kangaroos) indoor heated public swimming pools, sense of humour, talkin in your own accent and not being looked at with a blank face and "AY" speak in english !!!!!the feeling of belonging, security and happiness!!!!

we went to great premiership "footy" games !!!! not "soccer" visited holland and scotland !!!!! and most importantly got to spend time with the MIL and my new nephew!!!! as the time came nearer for us to "come back" we all stood in the airport crying and no-one spoke for the 1st hr of the flight.

it was horrendous!!!!

we have since come back tried to stay positive!!! but we just cannot settle!!!! as you said you make friends over here, but you have "no history". when we went back my jaw ached whenever we talked about the things we did as kids or with old school mates. The only time i genuinely laugh these days is when i see funny comments off them all on "Facebook"

we are just in the process of sortin removalists and flights ect, as well as sortin kids out with schools in the UK!

going home will either make or break your decision "to stay". it changed my kids just one last thing! when we were home we went to a family party in a hired hall and my 6 yr old who was only 2 when we came out said "hey mum are ALL these people my family, wow that is AWESOME!!!! then she said i wanna stay here forever everyone is so happy!!!! (they were all probably drunk LOL)

then my 11 yr old said on the plane comin back to AUS:" hey mum whatever made you want to make the desicion of denying yourself and us a life without your mum, and sister and all them lovely people who you call YOUR FAMILY!!!

enough said!!!!

good luck with it all keep us posted!!!!

 

 

I feel exactly the same, we have just come back from a 6 week holiday and i can honestly say i didn't think about Australia, our house here or anything about the place until a few days before we left, i just felt happy, comfortable, content and back to my old self with the people i love and who love me and my family. None of this transparent, self centered, materialistic, shallow way of life that i have found Australia to be. My opinion only.

As soon as i arrived back in Perth my depression returned and i have that constant low sinking feeling of the dread of life here...the place just feels dead, without a heart or a soul. I could go on......

My husband is Australian and he does not feel the same but is prepared to move as he feels he can be happier in England than i can ever be here, this place has stripped me of my personality, confidence and happiness and caused me to become quite ill with depression, something that has never happened to me before in my life.

 

So, we too are planning our escape for around Easter next year, have to sell our house first but my Son will start school in England in September, which leads me to a question you may be able to help me with? I understand that enrolling for schools is done online from October but how do you select a school in an area where you think you want to live when you don't yet have an address? We will rent to begin with but obviously don't know exactly what the address will be. Are we still able to select schools in our anticipated area or do we have to wait until we arrive and take whichever schools have places left?

 

Thanks again for your post and good luck.

[Guest greengables]

Go to www.direct.gov.uk

Follow the links for Education, then advice for Parents and all info about school enrolments is on there.

[Quoll]

As soon as i arrived back in Perth my depression returned and i have that constant low sinking feeling of the dread of life here...the place just feels dead, without a heart or a soul. I could go on..... My husband is Australian and he does not feel the same but is prepared to move as he feels he can be happier in England than i can ever be here, this place has stripped me of my personality, confidence and happiness and caused me to become quite ill with depression, something that has never happened to me before in my life.

 

Quote from FM - :hug::hug: I do so sympathize with you. I refuse to bow to depression but it is hard work to keep up the pretence that all is fine and dandy!

 

Good on your DH having the nous to recognize that he will be less unhappy in UK than you are here - the dread of returning here after a holiday has to be experienced to be believed.

 

All the very best with your move on to better and brighter things!