Guest jackie Macdonald Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Ok everyone, I really need some help and sound advice here!! I'm visiting the UK in 3 weeks time for a month and it is the big decision time for me as to whether I will drag the family back to the UK then or come back and give it our best shot in Perth. Admittedly I haven't given it that long but I have really struggled here. If I go back it has to be now as my eldest will need to get back into his old school in order to catch up for his forthcoming exams (he's 15). Please help me make the right decision!! I need both the positives and negatives!! Yours desperate!! jxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Let your gut be your guide! And good luck! I guess I just know when I get off the plane where I belong and the smile doesnt leave my face until the last few days and then the stomach sinks and I am close to tears pretty much all the time. (I think I am probably the only person ever to be grinning my head off in the midst of a traffic jam in the rain on the M25!) I think if you feel like that then you know what the answer will be. If OTOH you get there and it all feels alien and you cant wait to get on the plane then that will be your answer too. It's very easy to overthink everything and have the whatifs by the bucketload - I really do think you know where you "belong". Bottom line is that you are doing it for yourself - you arent doing it for friends and relatives, they may have already closed up the hole that your leaving made - as you would expect them to do. At least on the plus side, the exchange rate is in your favour! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mandy allen Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Hi Jackie, I think you will know when you get back there where you should be - be it back there or here in Oz. Ive been back and would still be there if not for the fact that my husband and son wont go back. At least your family will follow you. Good luck with everything, Mandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boomerangpommie Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 It's a tough call, especially as you are only going back for a short period of time and are making a decision about 'forever' for argument's sake. I suppose you do need to follow your gut, as Quoll says, it may tell you this is the right thing to do (for now). IMO once you have boomeranged or ping-ponged and not ended up settling, you are always going to live with "What if.." and maybe you need to try to decide which "What if..." you will be most content and comfortable living with. I suppose that what you do have is the knowledge that you are struggling in Perth, so that pretty much suggests a situation that cannot really continue (at least the way it is). You also know that you were alright in the UK and were happy enough before, so maybe you will be again. You are coming at the wrong time of the year of course because the weather makes such a big difference, November would have been better, lol!! I really feel for you, it is such a dilemma, especially as it includes the children and their education, friends and general sense of stability (actual does it, that last one, we get all hung up on that but could someone tell me for once and for all, does all this moving about mess them up??). I think you should do a bit of following your gut, how you feel when you are back home and in your familiar comfort zone but also (I should have taken this advice myself), look at a little more coolly and less emotionally if you can, and decide whether it is something that you really do want long-term and try to look further down the line and see anything (about the UK, jobs, society, schools, your own family, your kids' prospects/opportunities etc as they get older) that could creep up on you and start making you regret coming back and possibly throw you into a dilemma again - maybe do the same for Perth as well. I think it is easy to be carried along by strong emotions but sometimes you need to take yourself in hand and be firm and practical and consider the pros and cons as well as the feelings involved, because in my experience they can change so drastically. Maybe you need to also acccept that this may turn out to be the right thing for now and it could change in the future, the only thing is that has the children get older and eventually branch out on their own, you may find yourselves moving in different directions... These things all need to be considered. As I've said, maybe you just need to work out where you will all be content and settled, even if there will be a small, nagging doubt and accept that that doubt will always be there but you need to be in tha place where you can live with it, without it taking over, if that makes sense??!!! I wish you all the best and really do feel for you, it's so hard, I sometimes wish I had never ever been to Australia on that first holiday, let alone to live and then I could just be content with what I have here in the UK, who said having choice is a good thing?? lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Just go back with your eyes open Jackie, be objective and your heart will tell you the rest. Ali xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rosiejulia Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Hi Jackie,I think you will know when you get back there where you should be - be it back there or here in Oz. Ive been back and would still be there if not for the fact that my husband and son wont go back. At least your family will follow you. Good luck with everything, Mandy Jackie would`ent it be great if we all had our own crystal ball.....just to have a little peek!!!! Unfortunately as Quoll says we have to listen to our instincts....and thats a tough one too because when our minds are so bogged down with the shall we shan't we we often can`t connect with our instincts.....or hear what our instincts is telling us. Personally I feel OZ is a country that you instantly connect with OR NOT! Lets face we can all get used to anything given time....but that does`ent mean we love it, on the contrary! IMHO after the emotional job of settling into OZ we are so drained due to the rollercoaster of sitting on a cloud counting the stars (the getting here) to down in the gutter ( the being here!!!!!) We manage to crawl out of the gutter feeling a shadow of our former selves but hey `were back` and were going to get through it. It`s at this point point I think that our mind practises selective thinking......the thoughts that keep us here ......`what if I go back and it`s all a mistake`!!!!.....`the fear`...of making a mistake.....another mistake!!!! Were out of the gutter but still fragile what if the move back puts us back there again.....more fear . Of course our children are all at the centre of the decision....what will be right for them???....and there are significant points of schooling that force us to make the `decision`. Jackie it`s not easy ....I feel for you! Next week I have the shippers coming in to pack up my house for our own pending return! (mid aug) I wake up every morning thinking I`m I doing the right thing. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I wish we had never embarked on this whole OZ thing at all . (and it was`ent my idea!) Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Just go back with your eyes open Jackie, be objective and your heart will tell you the rest. Ali xx Thanks Ali, I'll do my best xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Go back and think that you are going back to live , hols can be a reverse rekky, holiday mode everythings fine and dandy but after the practicalities of life set in ,it prob be a different persdpective , my opinion Mally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Ok everyone, I really need some help and sound advice here!! I'm visiting the UK in 3 weeks time for a month and it is the big decision time for me as to whether I will drag the family back to the UK then or come back and give it our best shot in Perth. Admittedly I haven't given it that long but I have really struggled here. If I go back it has to be now as my eldest will need to get back into his old school in order to catch up for his forthcoming exams (he's 15). Please help me make the right decision!! I need both the positives and negatives!! Yours desperate!! jxxx Hi Jackie The whole question of whether to be in Oz or Uk is such a personal thing. I have done the boomerang bit a couple of times. I came to Oz in the late 60's in my teens, as the child in a 10 pound pom family. I didnt want to come, but was dragged. Once I was an adult, I spent almost 18 years coming to Oz and going back to UK before I realised where I really wanted to be. I finally came back to WA in 1991 and am so settled and happy, but it took me many years to get to this point in my life. Oz isnt for everyone, and I really can see that now. My entire family live in Oz, so that helps so much, but I do have very close friends in Uk whom I miss tremendously. We travel to see each other as much as we can, but we arent in each other's daily life as we were and I really miss that contact. Bottom line is that I finally would not go back to live in UK. Jackie only you and your family can decide what is best for you. Everyone is different and you can't expect anyone apart from your family to make a decision for you. I wish you luck and love in whatever you decide to do. R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siblin! Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Three weeks is such a short time . Go home and try to be objective , as others have said , you might go back and be in holiday mode . Ideally you need a few good months , to get grounded again in the UK , to really get a true objective . Hopefully , you go home , think , what was i thinking and return to Oz settled ...hey , you never can tell ! GCSES aren't the be all and end all , they can always work something out . There are other ways to sit them , colleges etc.. so don't worry too much about him being 15 . If you come back and decide to give it a little longer , then decide it's not working, he can always apply to do his basic GCSES , then AS levels , then A levels at college. It's a bit of catch up i know but it can be done, so try not to think about that to much x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John Locke Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I went back last year for much the same reasons, to see how I felt back in England after so long, to see if it was where I wanted to be or if I just needed to get something out of my system. I was there for a month and admittedly there was a holiday-mode to it to an extant but I felt like a totally different person, just felt like me again and everything just sort of slotted back in to place. Having said that I was still terrified of the upheaval (after seven years we have still built up a life for ourselves here in Oz, one that, although I`ve never been particularly happy with, is still hard to dismantle and begin again especially with children involved). So I came back and told my wife I would try and ‘view’ life here more positively, maybe even move to a different area, but was really still just lying to myself and it soon became apparent that no, it`s just not going to work here for me. I felt `normal` in England, I belonged. As soon as I got back here I just felt like a stranger again, existing. So based on that we are returning and as has been mentioned, once the practicalities of actually ‘living’ kick in, schools, jobs, bills etc…who knows, but I`m going with my heart on this one otherwise I`ll die a slow death from dullness here, wondering what if..? I do have the advantage of being married to an Ozzie, so again, who knows…I may come back (although the thought of that atm feels me with dread!). It is a very personal decision and one you can only make for yourself. And Quoll, No you are definitely not the only person to be grinning your head off in the midst of a traffic jam on the M25, as mad as it may sound to others, I think it`s something a few of us can really understand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LondonGal Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Hi Jackie, The fact that you are going back for a recce means that you are not totally settled here in Oz. That alone should tell you a lot. You still need to go back though with your eyes and mind open as it could seem too "holiday like" if you don't. Try to be objective about the UK and OZ and weigh up the pro's and con's for what suits you and your family. If you are able to do that then I think your instincts will tell you where you need to be. I will look forward to your report when you get back as we are doing the exact same thing early next year to decide where we want to be too. Good luck. LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElizaBee Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 HI Jackie, You have a big decision to make and i understand perfectly the "now or never" scenario with the kids. That is our dilemma also. We have until February next year to decide. Think why you came here in the first place - was it just to try a new country, bit of excitement / change etc or was it more involved than that? What situation are you going back to? If you had a great life in the Uk, i really wouldn't hesitate. Yes, think about the future but if you are truly miserable in Oz, I dont think time will cure that. You would just grow to accept it. But hey what do i know! I know i dont want to live with regrets and when we move back to the Uk i wont be forever thinking" what if we'd stayed in Oz." I agree, I also think that in your heart you know where you belong. I must warn you that my advice may be a little biased, as i have a terrible case of homesickness and may be remembering England with my lovely rose tinted glasses on - ahhh. Good luck with your decision :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Thank you for your advice all, I suppose I just have to step outside the box and, as you say, look at it objectively!! I hope I can come to the right decision for us and will report back whatever the outcome! jackie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marriedtoanaussie Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I made the (difficult) decision for our family to return to UK by projecting myself into the future....In 10 yrs time do I want to be here, contacting my sisters and brothers, mum and dad via emial or carefully planned phonecalls? No. I can already feel a sense of numbness. My husband wants me fully committed to the future here in Oz or for us to return-which is fare enough really. There are many things I will miss about this beautiful Country but......I am sure about returning.Its the right thing for us. Less than a month left here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Marriedtoanaussie, very best wishes on your return to the UK. Sometimes you have to follow your heart. I am always interested to hear how the Australian fairs when they come back with the English spouse., was it easy in obtaining employment etc? was it dificult obtaining visas, did they settle well? Looking forward to reading your updates and happy travels ss x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Jackie I feel for you and it is always a hard choice. Maybe make a list starting with what really makes you happy in life and what you value in your life , starting with number one as the most important and then look at which country would give you those things for the best. I think people do seem to struggle with missing the family and friends ,I know I do and the belonging part, for some its not an issue and for others it just is. As for myself I have no choice unless I leave my son here in Australia which I would not and so I just accept what life is for now and enjoy it the best way I know how but I also think you never know what is around that corner. There are days when I think my god how could I have just moved to the other side of the world away from the people I love and who love me so much. Was I selfish and thought that life with sunny days, open spaces, outdoor life would cancel all that out . Australia is so far away and so expensive to keep travelling home for most which seems to be a hard one too. Just do what you feel is right for you and live where you really do feel the happiest. For me it feels like a choice between people or places/lifestyle choices.......its not an easy choice but im sure you will feel the answer in your heart. All the best Jackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marriedtoanaussie Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Marriedtoanaussie, very best wishes on your return to the UK. Sometimes you have to follow your heart. I am always interested to hear how the Australian fairs when they come back with the English spouse., was it easy in obtaining employment etc? was it dificult obtaining visas, did they settle well? Looking forward to reading your updates and happy travels ss x Hi Siamsusie, Yes we have lived in Uk for 10 yrs raising 3 children. My Aussie husband always loved it in Uk-enjoyed trips to europe, wales, Ireland etc...He was considered quite exotic in Hertfodrshire and always had work-he has Indefinite leave to remain in Uk due to our marriage. He is looking fwd to going back-gets to catch The Ashes.....sitting in a pub etc....it was me that was the pull to trying life over here......had to be sure I wasnt denying my children this 'fantastic aussie life' that you constantly hear about- I am satisfied.......at last! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Jackie I feel for you and it is always a hard choice. Maybe make a list starting with what really makes you happy in life and what you value in your life , starting with number one as the most important and then look at which country would give you those things for the best. I think people do seem to struggle with missing the family and friends ,I know I do and the belonging part, for some its not an issue and for others it just is. As for myself I have no choice unless I leave my son here in Australia which I would not and so I just accept what life is for now and enjoy it the best way I know how but I also think you never know what is around that corner. There are days when I think my god how could I have just moved to the other side of the world away from the people I love and who love me so much. Was I selfish and thought that life with sunny days, open spaces, outdoor life would cancel all that out . Australia is so far away and so expensive to keep travelling home for most which seems to be a hard one too. Just do what you feel is right for you and live where you really do feel the happiest. For me it feels like a choice between people or places/lifestyle choices.......its not an easy choice but im sure you will feel the answer in your heart. All the best Jackie Thanks. You know, if I do decide to stay in the UK the one thing I will really miss from my time spent here is all of you here on the forum who have given me back my sanity and helped me cope on this journey. I have felt an affinity with far more people on the forum than in Perth itself!! Thanks again. jackie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jodie_dirk Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Hi Jackie, am in exactly the same position as you. we have been here in perth for just over a year now. me,OH,10yr old and almost 2yr old. i really love perth and living here. its so much cleaner,more relaxed,safer and a great place to bring up the kids. we have had a really stressful year here with firstly being screwed over by our 457 sponsorer, then spending out thousands for other assessments and certs to get another visa to be able to stay. we got our PR last month which was great. there has been alot of stress within our relationship due to this and some other factors am missing friends and family alot so have booked a flight for me and the children to return to the uk mid july this year. i feel now our youngest is almost 2 that i need everyone to see her at her adorable lil stage in life.its been something thats bugged me for months. im planning on staying for at least 2 months to be able to get a real feel of life there again. the first weeks will be holiday mode seeing everyone but then reality and life in the uk will set in. we left uk for a better life for the children and a better future for them. i feel living in oz will give them a safer future and a calmer one. i feel they will benefit from the outdoor life and hope it will put them on a better road than what they would in the uk possibly. i would feel alot happier about my daughters socialising with friends here than in the uk and feel i wouldnt have to worry half as much about her safety. growing up i came to HATE the area i lived in and was bored of it. felt my life was so repetative and i had enough of my surroundings. i swore 1 day i would get out of the hellhole and live in a better place. well now ive been lucky enough to have that dream come true but feel i need to return to uk to prove to myself i dont want to be there. i get really sad when people at work tell me they are meeting up with their family at weekend or for days out etc and i feel sad that i cant do that. also my sis is giving birth soon and i want to be there to see my nephew. its such a hard decision to make. friends and family are telling me that the uk is so much worse than when i left and there are areas now its just not safe to go shopping in!!!! is it better to live in the uk to have family and friends around though i hate being there, or do i live her and miss people? either way something has to give. ive made some really good friends here and a life that im happy with almost competely. i dont hate oz, if i did it would be an easy decision. i feel really sad to go, even if its on holiday as ive settled well here. i smile when i drive along the road and am thankful to live in this beautiful place. as ive read on other posts when you go back to the uk things are different, people to a degree and different. life moves on and so do people. i dont have a big family and can count on 1 hand friends which are TRUE friends and ones i treasure. they all work all week and have lots of other commitments too so if i go back to live and be around them in theory i will only see them a couple of times a month. my immediate family as much as i love them and they love me we've had our differences in the past and whilst speaking on the phone alot of the reasons why i moved away that caused me stress appears to be there still and i dont want the headache. yes i think that the kids being able to go out and stay over nanna and grandads house and being around my sis and my nephew once born will be great but how often will i really see them once im working. how much will i see other friends? apart from seeing them life will go back to how it was before. my surrounding will be the same, people and the place will still be the same and that wont give the girls anything more future wise than the reasons why i left. i have no house there, no job, i sold all my belongings before moving to oz. i would be starting again. speaking to a friend here i was answering all my own questions and living in oz is what i think i want. i just have to go back to make sure. god what a lot of rambling on im doing. so sorry! well jackie hope you get the answers your looking for and the same for me. good luck to all who are moving! thanks for listening and reading this all XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Hi Jackie, am in exactly the same position as you.we have been here in perth for just over a year now. me,OH,10yr old and almost 2yr old. i really love perth and living here. its so much cleaner,more relaxed,safer and a great place to bring up the kids. we have had a really stressful year here with firstly being screwed over by our 457 sponsorer, then spending out thousands for other assessments and certs to get another visa to be able to stay. we got our PR last month which was great. there has been alot of stress within our relationship due to this and some other factors am missing friends and family alot so have booked a flight for me and the children to return to the uk mid july this year. i feel now our youngest is almost 2 that i need everyone to see her at her adorable lil stage in life.its been something thats bugged me for months. im planning on staying for at least 2 months to be able to get a real feel of life there again. the first weeks will be holiday mode seeing everyone but then reality and life in the uk will set in. we left uk for a better life for the children and a better future for them. i feel living in oz will give them a safer future and a calmer one. i feel they will benefit from the outdoor life and hope it will put them on a better road than what they would in the uk possibly. i would feel alot happier about my daughters socialising with friends here than in the uk and feel i wouldnt have to worry half as much about her safety. growing up i came to HATE the area i lived in and was bored of it. felt my life was so repetative and i had enough of my surroundings. i swore 1 day i would get out of the hellhole and live in a better place. well now ive been lucky enough to have that dream come true but feel i need to return to uk to prove to myself i dont want to be there. i get really sad when people at work tell me they are meeting up with their family at weekend or for days out etc and i feel sad that i cant do that. also my sis is giving birth soon and i want to be there to see my nephew. its such a hard decision to make. friends and family are telling me that the uk is so much worse than when i left and there are areas now its just not safe to go shopping in!!!! is it better to live in the uk to have family and friends around though i hate being there, or do i live her and miss people? either way something has to give. ive made some really good friends here and a life that im happy with almost competely. i dont hate oz, if i did it would be an easy decision. i feel really sad to go, even if its on holiday as ive settled well here. i smile when i drive along the road and am thankful to live in this beautiful place. as ive read on other posts when you go back to the uk things are different, people to a degree and different. life moves on and so do people. i dont have a big family and can count on 1 hand friends which are TRUE friends and ones i treasure. they all work all week and have lots of other commitments too so if i go back to live and be around them in theory i will only see them a couple of times a month. my immediate family as much as i love them and they love me we've had our differences in the past and whilst speaking on the phone alot of the reasons why i moved away that caused me stress appears to be there still and i dont want the headache. yes i think that the kids being able to go out and stay over nanna and grandads house and being around my sis and my nephew once born will be great but how often will i really see them once im working. how much will i see other friends? apart from seeing them life will go back to how it was before. my surrounding will be the same, people and the place will still be the same and that wont give the girls anything more future wise than the reasons why i left. i have no house there, no job, i sold all my belongings before moving to oz. i would be starting again. speaking to a friend here i was answering all my own questions and living in oz is what i think i want. i just have to go back to make sure. god what a lot of rambling on im doing. so sorry! well jackie hope you get the answers your looking for and the same for me. good luck to all who are moving! thanks for listening and reading this all XXX Pardon for being a heavy handed prat but dont see your bloke in the equation here , all the crap over the 457 was for nowt ,as readiing between the line s you are not comin back , workin blah blah . All the famiy worrying is naff cos once you are back and the hol period is over everybody goes into normal mode again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jodie_dirk Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 yorkshire pom. i have discussed everything with OH and he knows how i feel. he wants to stay here so either way thats where he will stay. the 457 stress wasnt for nothing because out of it we are all PR's which gives us a choice. as you know it has been a bloody hard year for us and me having time out, if it will help keep us together in the end i think will be worth it. i didnt say i wasnt coming back and im not sure what your referring to regardsing work blah blah? also what do you mean about the family worrying? i did say in my post that i know once the holiday period passes once i get back to uk that life goes on as normal and thats the reality of it so your post seems a bit confusing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JulieE Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Hi I lived in Brisbane for 2 yrs and came back to Uk earlier this yr (with hubby and little'un). Thought we missed UK and family. Turns out that what we thought we missed isn't really what's here. Family have moved on and we don't see much of them. Can't stand the traffic and the commute. The shops really aren't as great as I remember, and its soooo much easier to find a car park in Oz in an out of town shopping mall instead of fighting my way through town on a saturday. Work life balance is just lip service here - it was real in Brisbane. Shall I go on? We miss Oz far more than we ever missed anything here, and all 3 of us have been utterly miserable. We're going back to Brisbane very soon, having realised just what we gave up. It cost a fortune to come back here, and will cost another fortune to go back, but would rather suffer the financial hit than stay here. We have tried to reintegrate back into UK, but just not happening. We've all changed more than we thought and are not the same people we were when we left. We've thought about relocating within the UK as a cheaper option, but still came back round to going back to Oz. I think we needed to come back here to really understand where we want to be and what we value and want out of life. For us, that's in Oz. For you it might be that you come back to UK and find your feet and live happily ever after with some fond memories of your travels abroad. I know a Brit who moved to Brisbane 20 yrs ago and has been homesick for 20 yrs, she's on antidepressants and has panic attacks. Feels she's left it too long now to go back, but isn't happy there. I was worried I'd end up like that if i didn't come back, but I'd actually be asking for the antidepressants if I was staying here. Only you can decide, but I'd say make the decision based on what your heart is telling you. Everyone has a different tale to tell, and what works for 1 person doesn't apply to the next. The only piece of advice I'd give is don't burn your bridges, try to keep your option open if you can and leave bank accounts etc open for a little while just in case... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John Locke Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 HiI think we needed to come back here to really understand where we want to be and what we value and want out of life. It`s unfortunate but I think this is just an added part of the migration process for many of us, whether it be after 2 yrs, 10 or 20...I don`t particularly like Australia and we are heading home after 7yrs but I`m anxious that after awhile, and as much as I miss the U.K, I`ll not like it there either!!!! The perils of migration! not to mention the cost, financially and emotionally! I`ve mentioned in previous posts too that even if you`re damn sure this is it, that you`ll never return, leave some doors open anyway...just in case...I wish I had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackie Macdonald Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Hi Jackie, am in exactly the same position as you.we have been here in perth for just over a year now. me,OH,10yr old and almost 2yr old. i really love perth and living here. its so much cleaner,more relaxed,safer and a great place to bring up the kids. we have had a really stressful year here with firstly being screwed over by our 457 sponsorer, then spending out thousands for other assessments and certs to get another visa to be able to stay. we got our PR last month which was great. there has been alot of stress within our relationship due to this and some other factors am missing friends and family alot so have booked a flight for me and the children to return to the uk mid july this year. i feel now our youngest is almost 2 that i need everyone to see her at her adorable lil stage in life.its been something thats bugged me for months. im planning on staying for at least 2 months to be able to get a real feel of life there again. the first weeks will be holiday mode seeing everyone but then reality and life in the uk will set in. we left uk for a better life for the children and a better future for them. i feel living in oz will give them a safer future and a calmer one. i feel they will benefit from the outdoor life and hope it will put them on a better road than what they would in the uk possibly. i would feel alot happier about my daughters socialising with friends here than in the uk and feel i wouldnt have to worry half as much about her safety. growing up i came to HATE the area i lived in and was bored of it. felt my life was so repetative and i had enough of my surroundings. i swore 1 day i would get out of the hellhole and live in a better place. well now ive been lucky enough to have that dream come true but feel i need to return to uk to prove to myself i dont want to be there. i get really sad when people at work tell me they are meeting up with their family at weekend or for days out etc and i feel sad that i cant do that. also my sis is giving birth soon and i want to be there to see my nephew. its such a hard decision to make. friends and family are telling me that the uk is so much worse than when i left and there are areas now its just not safe to go shopping in!!!! is it better to live in the uk to have family and friends around though i hate being there, or do i live her and miss people? either way something has to give. ive made some really good friends here and a life that im happy with almost competely. i dont hate oz, if i did it would be an easy decision. i feel really sad to go, even if its on holiday as ive settled well here. i smile when i drive along the road and am thankful to live in this beautiful place. as ive read on other posts when you go back to the uk things are different, people to a degree and different. life moves on and so do people. i dont have a big family and can count on 1 hand friends which are TRUE friends and ones i treasure. they all work all week and have lots of other commitments too so if i go back to live and be around them in theory i will only see them a couple of times a month. my immediate family as much as i love them and they love me we've had our differences in the past and whilst speaking on the phone alot of the reasons why i moved away that caused me stress appears to be there still and i dont want the headache. yes i think that the kids being able to go out and stay over nanna and grandads house and being around my sis and my nephew once born will be great but how often will i really see them once im working. how much will i see other friends? apart from seeing them life will go back to how it was before. my surrounding will be the same, people and the place will still be the same and that wont give the girls anything more future wise than the reasons why i left. i have no house there, no job, i sold all my belongings before moving to oz. i would be starting again. speaking to a friend here i was answering all my own questions and living in oz is what i think i want. i just have to go back to make sure. god what a lot of rambling on im doing. so sorry! well jackie hope you get the answers your looking for and the same for me. good luck to all who are moving! thanks for listening and reading this all XXX Thanks for your post, it's always good to hear others views and their situations after going through the same life changing journey. From what I can gather, although our situations are similar, you appear to have settled really well here, while I have really struggled. I think it is a good idea for you to go back and see how you feel, but I think you will ultimately decide to remain in Perth. You seem to be experiencing a bout of homesickness which every single one of us will do at some time or another and it is perfectly normal. I on the other hand miss everything about the UK, even the things I moaned about before I came here. It isn't so much friends and family, although I miss them too, but everything about the place itself, my home. Those special friends you make back home will always be there for you and aren't going anywhere! but it's the belonging that really counts and living where you can be yourself and feel happy and secure without waking up every morning with this horrible gut wrenching feeling that you are so far away from home. You are fortunate in that you have settled well, are happy here and can see a future for yourself and your children living in Perth. You just need to get through this period of doubt. As for me, I'm still undecided and more confused than ever. I'm flying back Sunday so one way or another I'll be glad to finally make a decision. Good luck with your decision too. Jackie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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