Wishful Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Have people moved their Australian children back home ( uk) and how did that go , how old were they what happened ??? :arghh::nah: Has anyone done it whilst leaving the childrens other parent behind in oz ???? PLEASE PLEASE would love any help ta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Deb62 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Hi Wishful; I moved my kids back to UK in 1998 when they were 10 and 12. My Aussi husband agreed to return with us. We had been in Brisbane for 10 years. With hindsight it was a move I would not recommend. My eldest went from yr 6 in Brisbane (primary went to end of yr 7) straight into yr 8 in somerset (2nd yr of high school). It was a huge adjustment psychologically and socially and I'm sure has contributed majorally to him underachieving academically. He had missed a year of French and German for starters. My daughter had an easier adjustment. She went from the end of yr 5 into yr 6, so she stayed at primary and dossed for a year. But it was only a couple of years ago that she shared how homesick she was for years. 18 months ago she decided to return to Brisbane to do a degree in archeology. I haven't seen her for over a year now and yes, it's difficult for me and for her father, her 11 yr old sister and her brother, and probably for her as well. Obviously my story is just my story. The circumstances would not be the same for everyone by any means. But I really wish I had thought through the long term implications for my whole family rather than acting on my feelings of homesickness and doing something I bitterly regret. I live in a fairly large 4 bed cottage in rural Somerset, built in the 1750's. My circumstances are great, I have a lot of things I thought I wanted. But I'd chuck it all away to turn back the clock and undo the decision to come 'home'. Sorry to be depressing. Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 I agree with Deb and I was a child who moved countries and had to fit in with schooling. I left England when we went to Africa and that was not so bad but when we left Africa and went to New Zealand I did not fit in at all and ended up leaving school early because it was just too hard we just learned different things because we lived in a different part of the world. My life turned out ok and I had a very good job, but I certainly do not think that moving around helped with my education and my brother was worse off as my parents continued to move once I had left home. Also its hard to fit in if you are shy like I was and I felt so alone. As a teen you do not discuss it with anyone either its all there inside. It did cause long term problems of anxiety for me and took years and years to stop feeling as though I did not belong anywhere. Hence when I married and we moved back to Australia we stayed put have only lived in two houses and my children went to the primary close by and the high school and grew up very stable. They have no desire to live in the UK even though they can. Its possible that children that are moved will go back to where they came from a lot do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Moving a child at high school I think is always difficult no matter where you go and to move them from Aus to UK is probably harder the older they are because of the different educational approaches. Aus kids just havent done the same ground work and that makes it much harder for them. Also, moving a child from one social group into a new environment where the social bonds have begun to firm up can be very tricky. If you can get in at the beginning of the first year of HS then they should be fine but later than that it gets harder and harder. However, that said, people do do it successfully all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 There is 13 years between my brother and I so it was like being two only children and this is definitely harder than for children who do have siblings nearer in age. They seem to fit in a lot better. I do not mean to put anyone off its just that you really need to understand what the children do go through as they are not going to tell you. My brother and I still have not told Mum and we never will but we discuss it a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 I just wonder what people are thinking reading this but doing the opposite. You know your own kids do they fit in easy or are they shy? If it's down to your kids on the move back home, do you not have family in the UK that they could live with for a month or so, that they could go to school etc to see if they like it b4 you shut up shop and move back costing you loads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElizaBee Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Hi, yeah, this is my dilemma too! Thanks for bringing it up and sharing your stories.:hug: I have a 17 year old who is in year 12 and really wants to go home to the UK and go to Uni. But also have my son in year7 at the moment, he also wants to go back, but am worried about how he will cope. He is really bright, and was looking forward to high school as he was so bored in primary school. They had composite classes there. Think he is doing well there, but he is getting bored there also. Think they spent a couple of weeks in science doing a report on how quickly water boiled when you added salt, sugar and something else!! He had completed his work very quickly and had to wait for others in his class. He isnot exceptionally bright or anything just a clever kid. Saying that if we moved back to Uk he would have to skip ahead to year 8, so that would be a challenge. I have a younger child also, who isnt at school yet, but i just dont want her to go to primary school here. My son was bullied and they just didn't handle it well at all. One day a supposed "friend" of his was throwing rocks at my son and his friends at lunchtime, absolutely nothing was done at all, "boys will be boys" and that is just one instance. This is the best school in my area by the way, and i pay fees! Also, they have to eat lunch outside in all the dust, and they arenot told to wash their hands. I know this may seem trivial, but when you see them coming home form school absolutely filthy from the dust and they have eaten their lunch in it - it truly makes me nauseous! I mentioned it to the teacher when we first arrived and the next day she singled out my daughter and told her to wash her hands, she was so embarrassed, i gave her those antibacterial wipes after that. These are just a couple of examples, guess what i'm trying to say is that i haven't been happy with the standard of education my kids have received here, and its a shame. I used to help out in year 1/2 with their literacy classes, which i loved. But was not allowed to correct the childrens spelling as they should be congratulated for"having a go". Anyway, would be very interested to hear how others have coped with the change. Think i know already that it may be a very difficult move, but what do you do if you arenot happy with the schools here, do you take the chance and move back to the UK and pray to God that they fit in and do well?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 You could always do a bit of research Wishful and contact the schools in the area you'd be living - sound out what support would be available to your children to help them adjust and settle. They may even be able to send you examples of work/curriculum as preperation. When we moved to Aus, I was concerned that my daughter wouldn't settle, her friendship group had been together since they were 4 years old and all went to high school toghether (although ended up in different classes). When we were moving here, I contacted the principle of the school who set her up with a pen-pal ... who in turn introduced her to other class mates via msn. This took away alot of her anxieties before the move and she settled really quickly (and left me wondering what I'd been worrying about). The 3rd year of high school (year 9) is when the children choose their options for exam subjects - so I would guess that moving around that time, may be a little difficult for them with regards to not having the experience of the subject in order to choose to study it for an exam. It's always difficult moving kids - even just from one school to another, but you come across as someone who is a supportive mum and I'm sure you'll work through any of the problems that arise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted May 31, 2009 Author Share Posted May 31, 2009 Thank you everyone for your help....I have very good support networks in the uk and so that would be fine !! The BIG issue I have is that they have had a step-dad in their lives ( my hubby obviously) since they were 1.5 and 3 but they still have contact with their biological father. We are going back in 2012 for three months for a holiday ( hubby will do some work) if they love it my dilemma is do I ask the question " do you want to live here"......all the legal stuff I would have to do is another story I am more concerned with their dad been here in Aus he would not agree to it so I would have to go to court. We are a tight family unit with their step-dad and they love him dearly but though I cannot stand their dad and he does the wrong thing and is an arsehole but he is their dad !!! Thanks Wishful xx:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
20yrspommie Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Hi I am new on this forum but came across this after searching the internet, I have also this dilemma . We have been here in sydney 20yrs a family of three , son just 12 in year six now tried to get back last year so he could start high school in Uk but recession hit and we couldnt sell our house so put the whole move off . Now have decided to have another go and hope to be able to sell and move there before school starts in Sep. He has to go into year 8 and, I am worried about him missing year 7 and the effect that will have. he is a very laid back type of child and is thrilled about going but has never lived there and has no idea really of high school and the change it will involve. It really is giving me lots of sleepless nights, I talked to the school that we are sending him too they are helpful but I dont want him to struggle and end up hating it. I feel like this is last chance to move back as once he starts High school here will be much harder as he probably wont be so keen and I really want to have the chance to spend time with family whilst they are still around ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Hi I am new on this forum but came across this after searching the internet, I have also this dilemma . We have been here in sydney 20yrs a family of three , son just 12 in year six now tried to get back last year so he could start high school in Uk but recession hit and we couldnt sell our house so put the whole move off . Now have decided to have another go and hope to be able to sell and move there before school starts in Sep. He has to go into year 8 and, I am worried about him missing year 7 and the effect that will have. he is a very laid back type of child and is thrilled about going but has never lived there and has no idea really of high school and the change it will involve. It really is giving me lots of sleepless nights, I talked to the school that we are sending him too they are helpful but I dont want him to struggle and end up hating it. I feel like this is last chance to move back as once he starts High school here will be much harder as he probably wont be so keen and I really want to have the chance to spend time with family whilst they are still around ?? Welcome to pio I'm sure if you could contact a school in the UK or find a teacher (loads on this site) they should be able to guide you on some make up lessons b4 you land so your son is not to far behind. Maybe you may need to factor in a tutor to help your son? Just had a quick search online and found this site. I have no idea if its any use to you High School Online Homeschooling, Classes, & Courses - e-Tutor.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted May 31, 2009 Author Share Posted May 31, 2009 Hi I am new on this forum but came across this after searching the internet, I have also this dilemma . We have been here in sydney 20yrs a family of three , son just 12 in year six now tried to get back last year so he could start high school in Uk but recession hit and we couldnt sell our house so put the whole move off . Now have decided to have another go and hope to be able to sell and move there before school starts in Sep. He has to go into year 8 and, I am worried about him missing year 7 and the effect that will have. he is a very laid back type of child and is thrilled about going but has never lived there and has no idea really of high school and the change it will involve. It really is giving me lots of sleepless nights, I talked to the school that we are sending him too they are helpful but I dont want him to struggle and end up hating it. I feel like this is last chance to move back as once he starts High school here will be much harder as he probably wont be so keen and I really want to have the chance to spend time with family whilst they are still around ?? Can you ask that he starts at year 7 maybe give him a heads up ( or is year 8 first year of high school I cant remember).........If he is thrilled about going theres 3/4 of your battle won....try not to show him too much of your concerns as he may not have them !! I honestly think he will be fine .....why not try and get the teacher at the school he will be going to to recommend a couple of kids to start emailing him before you go that way he will know people....maybe ask them to send ( once a week ) some work so he gets an idea of what level they are at and he can prepare...... If you are fine he will be fine.....there might be a period of adjustment but I think he will be fine !!!!!!!! WIshful xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
20yrspommie Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi thanks for your replies , I am looking into tutoring now , yes he has to go year 8 because he is already 12 which is a real shame as he will miss whole of year 7 It is good that he is keen I try to remind myself that but anyway the more important thing is being able to sell which is not so easy in this market Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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