Guest Stella38 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 Hi there My husband (Aussie) and I are considering returning to the UK, having been here for 6 years. Before we left the UK, things were very difficult with my family - they couldn't understand why we were moving to Australia, of course didn't want us to go, wouldn't discuss it or anything to do with the move, and really communication broke down quite significantly. Since being here, relations have got much better, but I still have some resentment towards the way they behaved before we left the UK. I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience, and then what has happened when you returned to the UK. I'm trying to anticipate what might be their reaction if we decide to move back . Thanks Stella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Swing low sweet chariot Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 Our lives are too short to worry about past resentments. If you wish to return then do it, it's something we are in the process of doing and we can't wait. We had the backing of all our family; although there was much sadness. Don't worry about what reactions may or may not happen. Maybe it was there way of dealing with it. Time stands still for no one, don't let resentment cloud your decision. I'm sure they'd be dancing around the house! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBrammies Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 imho if they were resentful of you going thats means they didnt want you to go which means they care about you and your family so when you return im sure they will be delighted and welcomeyou back wth open arms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nikkichap Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 As you have had communication with them over the years then I am sure that they will be glad to see you back. I take it they haven't been to OZ for a visit. You did what you thought what would make you happy all those years ago and are doing the same this time around. I'm sure at the time of leaving for OZ you had a pretty horrid time with your family. It's a time like that when you need family support so I can understand your resentment. Don't worry about what they think. Life really is to short The past is the past. Try and make the most of life. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest barab Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 They will love your return to Blighty. The slate will be wiped clean and you will be in a better place,honestly. They probably grew resentful at the fact you were leaving,but when your back it will be like the prodigal son returning. It's great back here in Britain,start living again and get back here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stella38 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Thanks everyone for your responses. I think you are right, but I guess the proof is in the pudding! We haven't mentioned our potential return as yet, but will post how it goes when we do. Barab, your response hits the nail on the head for me. I don't feel like I'm living here, rather life is passing me by. Its an awful thing to say, but I don't think my heart's in it. The other problem I have now is I felt guilty when I left the UK for causing my family there so much sorrow, but now we're contemplating moving back, I have similar feelings because my husband will be leaving his friends and family. I don't think anything ever prepares you for the practical difficulties of being in a relationship with someone from the other side of the world! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest snow white Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 yur family will be so pleased to have you back i dont think they will have any resentment to you whatsoever it will all be forgotten on seeing you again. i wish you all the best for whatever the future brings in oz or back in the uk its a decision that only you can make lesley x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Thanks everyone for your responses. I think you are right, but I guess the proof is in the pudding! We haven't mentioned our potential return as yet, but will post how it goes when we do. Barab, your response hits the nail on the head for me. I don't feel like I'm living here, rather life is passing me by. Its an awful thing to say, but I don't think my heart's in it. The other problem I have now is I felt guilty when I left the UK for causing my family there so much sorrow, but now we're contemplating moving back, I have similar feelings because my husband will be leaving his friends and family. I don't think anything ever prepares you for the practical difficulties of being in a relationship with someone from the other side of the world! Yup mixed marriages can be the very devil! Good luck with your move, I hope it all works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Yup mixed marriages can be the very devil! Good luck with your move, I hope it all works out for you. No it doesnt....I married an aussie divorced after seven years then met my first boyfriend from uk again we have now been married for 6 years and both want to go back , have two children to aussie aged9 and 11 so have to wait it out !! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I guess you're worried about them saying "I told you so" ... my advise is talk to them about your plans when you know that you're going back, as Barab said they'll probably be as pleased as punch. Talk to them before hand and you'll get rid of all those reservations you have about the reception you'll receive. Going back doesn't mean you failed .... just that you want to live in the UK again, you're making your own future .... Good luck. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tlander56 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Thanks everyone for your responses. I think you are right, but I guess the proof is in the pudding! We haven't mentioned our potential return as yet, but will post how it goes when we do. Barab, your response hits the nail on the head for me. I don't feel like I'm living here, rather life is passing me by. Its an awful thing to say, but I don't think my heart's in it. The other problem I have now is I felt guilty when I left the UK for causing my family there so much sorrow, but now we're contemplating moving back, I have similar feelings because my husband will be leaving his friends and family. I don't think anything ever prepares you for the practical difficulties of being in a relationship with someone from the other side of the world! Hi Stella, I am in exactly the same boat as you...my hubby is an Aussie, and we are preapring to go back to (my) home...we felt so guilty when we left the UK as my family were so upset....we are now doing it all over again, this time to my hubbys family...awful really:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stella38 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi Tanya It is awful - have you told your husband's family yet? We haven't told ours yet, but there are still a couple of logistical issues we're working through to determine exactly when we are going. Stella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 My family were so upset when we said we were moving to Australia but that is because they love and care for us and wanted to be around us. Now I miss my family like crazy but cant go back as I have a child to take care of on my own here in Australia as the marriage broke down 2 years into the move. My family back in the UK wish my son and I were back HOME with them all but it will not happen due to the position I have placed myself in. So I can understand why everyone feels the way they do. I would go home and spend time with people who love you , your family xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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