vinnie3004 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Hi, Over the past 6 months i have constantly read all posts from many people and their different experiences on this topic. It is only now that i have finally decided that i would share my experience and try to gain some further insight from people in similar situations or even views of people that may be able to provide some insight. Now i fully understand everybody's situation is different, no one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do with regards to your own personal situation and at the end of the day the decision will ultimately lie with myself and my family but for some reason it still feels better to share it. I emigrated to Perth 11 years ago at the age of 18 with my parents and two brothers. My family settled in straight away, made lots and lots of friends and if you were to meet them now you would assume they were Australian and had never been anywhere else, let alone be from the UK. My parents have never even gone back to the UK to visit because of 2 reasons, no desire to and the fact our family have always been more than willing to come to Perth and make a holiday of it. I on the other hand, struggled. and even to this day have never really settled. It was a tough age to move, even though i totally accepted it and wanted to make the move with my family. I went to university to meet friends as i was to old to go to school. Dumb right, get a massive uni debt because i wanted to meet people?? I was young and naïve. However, i did meet lots of people, got a fairly good degree (sports science) which has somehow lead to the job i do now as product specialist. I know, couldn't be further apart from each other. However, i talked myself into the job and have done ok. Moving on. 4 years ago, after numerous visits back to the UK i decided i wanted to see all of Australia, booked myself on a trip from Sydney to Cairns and upped and went. Had a great time, met a beautiful girl who is now my wife. She was from England ( i didn't intentionally go out to meet an English girl) and was from a town 10 minutes up the road from where i was from. Weird hey? I went back to uk to be with her, lasted 3 months and missed the family, so came back. After lots of money sorting visas she joined me in Perth a few months later. 2 years later we got married and we now have a son (First generation Australian). My wife has always made such an effort here and loved living here. settled in (or i thought she had) and made a real go of it. However, since she had our son she has been very homesick (misses her mum and dad, friends etc) and has been pining to return home. She gave up her life there to come here and now she is missing it terribly. She has no family here and not many 'very good' friends which she has in abundance at home. She has made lots of effort to meet people, joined lots of mums groups and does stuff everyday with our son. The only thing preventing me upping and going back is my family which is made all the harder by the fact they have their first grand child now who they adore and it would break my heart to take him away from their lives. My wife however does not have that relationship with them and wants to return. Perth is great place, ok it can be a bit dull but its what you make of it and it would be a great place to bring kids up. I am in a right predicament. I worry that we would take our son away from a fairly good life here, i worry about work as i only have about 3-4 years experience in what i do here and i worry about my family here. Yes i have family at home and i have always wanted to return but now the question has been asked and the situation is real im having doubts? Has anybody remotely been in this situation? I Know we would have a good life in the UK, lots of friends, extended family for me and direct family for my wife. Money wouldn't be an issue moving and we would have a deposit for a place over there as we have always been sensible with money and saved hard. Sorry for the long story but setting the scene is important. I hope someone can share their views. Ultimately i know i have to return for my wife as she has made the decision she needs to go. Even after months of me trying to take her rose tinted glasses off and laying down all the pros and cons. I guess its just me thats unsure. Like i said, i always would have gone but now the time is here to make a decision im finding it hard because i know how much money my family spent to get us here for a 'better' life all them years ago. and the fact we are a very close family which i think occurs when you move somewhere and only have each other for a period of time. Im 29 now, have my own family and am in a bit of a predicament! Thanks :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 I think you've answered your questions yourself in the main, although I know it can be really important to get it out when you're feeling uncertain. Your immediate priority is your immediate family, ie your wife and son. Grandparents have to come second - your child has 2 sets of grandparents, one in each country, so wherever you live it's going to to be hard on the other set, but that's just something all of us migrants have to deal with, just as your parents did when they emigrated in the first place. Likewise don't feel guilty about what your parents gave up in search of a "better life" years ago. You were effectively an adult at the time so it's not like they did it for their kids, but it has worked out for them in that way - you all have the luxury now of being able to choose where you live, which puts you in a very fortunate minority. And you have education and a profession so it has worked out. I think you're feeling "fear of the unknown" uncertainty/jitters which is totally understandable. And moving back to the UK may not work out for you, or your wife (when we do go back we have to remember others have moved on, and the experience can be disorientating and it doesn't work for everyone). But it sounds like what is most important for your immediate family right now is to give it a go Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 My view is that you should go. Your parents clearly took grandchildren away from the UK with barely a backward glance. It is probably their turn to do the long flight visiting now. The cautious side of me would recommend that your wife stay long enough to get her citizenship first. Having a husband and children who are Oz citizens when she is not could come back to bite her in the distant future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Yeh you are spot on i think, its the fear of the unknown. My wife has permanent residency and would have to wait another couple of years before being eligible for citizenship. I honestly do not think she could do another couple of years. Would she have dramas down the track if we were to return with her just being a permanent resident? i read that you would need to apply for a return residency visa or something along those lines? I know deep down that returning is what we need to do, its the fear of regretting it which is why im trying my best for my wife to take off the rose tinted glasses and weigh absolutely everything up. She is actually returning to uk tonight for 2 weeks with my son. We booked her a flight and decided she should go and visit her family and friends etc. away from me, the pressures of family here, the place etc. I know she will still want to go when she returns but it will do her good for now and give her some time away from the situation. Who knows what will happen, maybe she will change her mind, i doubt it, but if not then im fairly confident this time next year i will be back in England with my two most important people and im sure it will all work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicF Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 There are many of us on the forum who have married Australians and know what it is like to have family in two separate countries. Where ever you and your wife decide to settle your kids will be on the other side of the world to one set of grandparents. Or to look at it differently, they will have grandparents close by which ever country you decide to live in. I think as a women once you have children being close to your own family seems far more important than previously. It may be that you and your wife decide the UK is the best place for your family right now but Australia is the place for you further down the track. I met my OH in the UK but I always knew he wanted to move back to Australia at some point in the future and after 13 years in the UK he finally made it. We managed to visit his family about every 18 months from the UK and I hope to average a visit every 2 years to my family from Australia. Talk to your wife. Let her know you are supportive of a move (which you seem to be from the post) but that you would still like your parents to be part of your kids lives and work out the best way that you can make this happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Your right, ever since she found out she was pregnant she just wanted her immediate family around. They came over here, her mum even came for 2 months once our son was born but now she wants them all the time and i fully understand that. I have asked that if we do move i would love to keep the window open to possibly return in the future. Whether we do that or not only time will tell. Thanks for sharing your experience :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Hi, Over the past 6 months i have constantly read all posts from many people and their different experiences on this topic. It is only now that i have finally decided that i would share my experience and try to gain some further insight from people in similar situations or even views of people that may be able to provide some insight. Now i fully understand everybody's situation is different, no one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do with regards to your own personal situation and at the end of the day the decision will ultimately lie with myself and my family but for some reason it still feels better to share it. I emigrated to Perth 11 years ago at the age of 18 with my parents and two brothers. My family settled in straight away, made lots and lots of friends and if you were to meet them now you would assume they were Australian and had never been anywhere else, let alone be from the UK. My parents have never even gone back to the UK to visit because of 2 reasons, no desire to and the fact our family have always been more than willing to come to Perth and make a holiday of it. I on the other hand, struggled. and even to this day have never really settled. It was a tough age to move, even though i totally accepted it and wanted to make the move with my family. I went to university to meet friends as i was to old to go to school. Dumb right, get a massive uni debt because i wanted to meet people?? I was young and naïve. However, i did meet lots of people, got a fairly good degree (sports science) which has somehow lead to the job i do now as product specialist. I know, couldn't be further apart from each other. However, i talked myself into the job and have done ok. Moving on. 4 years ago, after numerous visits back to the UK i decided i wanted to see all of Australia, booked myself on a trip from Sydney to Cairns and upped and went. Had a great time, met a beautiful girl who is now my wife. She was from England ( i didn't intentionally go out to meet an English girl) and was from a town 10 minutes up the road from where i was from. Weird hey? I went back to uk to be with her, lasted 3 months and missed the family, so came back. After lots of money sorting visas she joined me in Perth a few months later. 2 years later we got married and we now have a son (First generation Australian). My wife has always made such an effort here and loved living here. settled in (or i thought she had) and made a real go of it. However, since she had our son she has been very homesick (misses her mum and dad, friends etc) and has been pining to return home. She gave up her life there to come here and now she is missing it terribly. She has no family here and not many 'very good' friends which she has in abundance at home. She has made lots of effort to meet people, joined lots of mums groups and does stuff everyday with our son. The only thing preventing me upping and going back is my family which is made all the harder by the fact they have their first grand child now who they adore and it would break my heart to take him away from their lives. My wife however does not have that relationship with them and wants to return. Perth is great place, ok it can be a bit dull but its what you make of it and it would be a great place to bring kids up. I am in a right predicament. I worry that we would take our son away from a fairly good life here, i worry about work as i only have about 3-4 years experience in what i do here and i worry about my family here. Yes i have family at home and i have always wanted to return but now the question has been asked and the situation is real im having doubts? Has anybody remotely been in this situation? I Know we would have a good life in the UK, lots of friends, extended family for me and direct family for my wife. Money wouldn't be an issue moving and we would have a deposit for a place over there as we have always been sensible with money and saved hard. Sorry for the long story but setting the scene is important. I hope someone can share their views. Ultimately i know i have to return for my wife as she has made the decision she needs to go. Even after months of me trying to take her rose tinted glasses off and laying down all the pros and cons. I guess its just me thats unsure. Like i said, i always would have gone but now the time is here to make a decision im finding it hard because i know how much money my family spent to get us here for a 'better' life all them years ago. and the fact we are a very close family which i think occurs when you move somewhere and only have each other for a period of time. Im 29 now, have my own family and am in a bit of a predicament! Thanks :-) I tell many people the same ....stay where you are ,and let your wife come home ,at least once a year .....why ? The global economy is in the **** ,don't make a huge mistake of giving up everything,to put yourself in a deeper hole ....if you are fairly settled with a comfortable life ...stick . I mase a similar decision 20 yrs ago ,for other people as it turns out .....it ain't was .....it can be a lose lose situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Yeh you are spot on i think, its the fear of the unknown. My wife has permanent residency and would have to wait another couple of years before being eligible for citizenship. I honestly do not think she could do another couple of years. Would she have dramas down the track if we were to return with her just being a permanent resident? i read that you would need to apply for a return residency visa or something along those lines? I know deep down that returning is what we need to do, its the fear of regretting it which is why im trying my best for my wife to take off the rose tinted glasses and weigh absolutely everything up. She is actually returning to uk tonight for 2 weeks with my son. We booked her a flight and decided she should go and visit her family and friends etc. away from me, the pressures of family here, the place etc. I know she will still want to go when she returns but it will do her good for now and give her some time away from the situation. Who knows what will happen, maybe she will change her mind, i doubt it, but if not then im fairly confident this time next year i will be back in England with my two most important people and im sure it will all work out. You cannot foretell the future but here are some possible scenarios. In 20 years time your child (who has dual citizenship) decides to live and have a family in Oz. PR would have long expired so an RRV is out of the question. Assuming you are still together partner visas may very well no longer be readily available; they are already getting much more expensive. But if you were no longer together, for whatever reason, then she may have no avenues open to her to follow assuming she wanted to. Citizenship is an insurance policy but, yes, she would have to wait a couple of years. Just something that she should consider imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Ah the joys of a mixed marriage! If she really is struggling then I don't think you really have too much choice unfortunately. Personally I wouldn't be that panicked about citizenship for her - as long as you are still together and she had an Australian child she shouldn't have too much trouble getting back in should you need it down the track. She could try counselling perhaps before you make the final decision to see if that can help her manage her feelings more effectively but if she's closer to her family then nothing is going to change that. On the plus side you are still young and chances are you would be moving on with your career at some stage anyway so just see this as a career stepping stone (though if you are able, take a career break, don't sell the house etc just in case!). Add to that the feeling that you essentially don't feel the "Australia is the best thing since sliced bread " thing either so you've got a really good excuse for escaping. Your parents made the move without a backward glance about how a move impacted their extended family so they can't expect any less from you and they should give you their blessing like their parents did to them! End of the day, one first world country is going to have pretty much the same benefits and problems as any other and it's just another step in life's adventure. In a mixed marriage one of you is always going to have it all while the other has zip - which one of you copes best with that is luck of the draw really. Good on you for being the one who realises that it might have to be you that misses out, so many aren't prepared to do that because they're doing fine where they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Yeh i totally agree. To be fair, i have all my other family and friends in the UK so im not going to have absolutely no one. I guess for my wife and many other women out there who have had kids, no one beats your own mum when it comes to help and support. My mum has been great but at the end of the day, and to no fault of my mum, she is just the mother in law and my wife would really like her friends and family around now. I think by the time we go (next year early on) my wife will be eligible for citizenship so we can always do that before we go. We both love Australia and the UK but at the end of the day, its first world problems and were lucky enough to have the choice of either place to live so we just have to do what's right for us and see what happens. Ah the joys of a mixed marriage! If she really is struggling then I don't think you really have too much choice unfortunately. Personally I wouldn't be that panicked about citizenship for her - as long as you are still together and she had an Australian child she shouldn't have too much trouble getting back in should you need it down the track. She could try counselling perhaps before you make the final decision to see if that can help her manage her feelings more effectively but if she's closer to her family then nothing is going to change that. On the plus side you are still young and chances are you would be moving on with your career at some stage anyway so just see this as a career stepping stone (though if you are able, take a career break, don't sell the house etc just in case!). Add to that the feeling that you essentially don't feel the "Australia is the best thing since sliced bread " thing either so you've got a really good excuse for escaping. Your parents made the move without a backward glance about how a move impacted their extended family so they can't expect any less from you and they should give you their blessing like their parents did to them! End of the day, one first world country is going to have pretty much the same benefits and problems as any other and it's just another step in life's adventure. In a mixed marriage one of you is always going to have it all while the other has zip - which one of you copes best with that is luck of the draw really. Good on you for being the one who realises that it might have to be you that misses out, so many aren't prepared to do that because they're doing fine where they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 I do get the impression that , for yourself, you don't really want to go. It is very, very hard. You have youth on your side, though, so if you find you really need to come back to Australia I guess you could. Very hard decision and it is a shame that you can't come to some sort of compromise whereby return trips are made very regularly. To be brutally honest, I would try to get your wife to stick it out a bit longer in the hope she can feel more comfortable and make a few close friends here. Loneliness is awful and it seems to me that is the real issue here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patphillips47 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Try your hardest to stick it out until your wife has citizenship ,even if it means her going back with your son for holidays for the next year or two That takes a huge relief of angst away should you move and then want to go back to Australia I was an only child emigrated with my hubby and two children when they were in their early teens so left my Mum and Dad on their own in the UK and took their beloved grandchildren away The heartache never really went away We holidayed in the UK for years just because of my Mum and Dad - Dad had a stroke shortly after we had emigrated so they couldn't come to Oz In 2001 my Mum was in her 90's and failing so we moved back to the UK to look after he ,dad had died a few years previously We stayed in the UK until 2006 when Mum went into a home and had dementia so did not know us any more - we went back to Oz because of the pull of our children and theirs 2013 we thought retirement to the UK was the way to go so we uprooted again but for us it hasn't worked because of the pull to Oz of our family so we are going back to live soon Luckily we have that choice having dual nationality we both say we are equally at home in both countries but unlike your parents we never really cut the cord when we are in the UK it's like we have never been away apart from the fact we have no family here You seem as if you have a very sensible head on your shoulders I am sure it will work out for you and your wife and son so onward and upward but make sure you have that Aussie passport it's gold ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 If I'm honest, if my parents and direct family were not here and not in this equation then I would go back with my wife tomorrow. Not because I dislike Australia because I don't, it's home, as is the UK even though I have not lived there for 11 years. However you are both right, citizenship is vital for her really and by April next year she will qualify for citizenship so it's definitely something that would make coming back in the future easier and I would always love that to be an option. Although my my wife doesn't have those close friendships here, she does see people regularly, mainly through my son, but to her they will never be here freinds in the Uk. As will my family never be her close family which is making the pull for her really difficult. I'm up for giving it a go, I just don't want to regret it. But I guess you will never know until you try. After having this chat with you all it is all about my wife and son now and they are the most important and if she will be happier at home then I will b happy knowing she is. Yeh I will miss my folks, but like when we moved, people do move on and it becomes easier. We will see. Thanks everyone :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 ...make sure you have that Aussie passport it's gold ! Definitely do this! My parents came out to Australia in the 60s, gave birth to me and then went back to the UK without getting citizenship or anything. This means that I - like your son - have dual nationality, so I and my family moved here in 2004 but my parents didn't have the same option. In the grand scheme of things, hanging on here just for a year or so till she has the passport could save all sorts of issues down the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 If you only have to wait until early next year for citizenship (are you sure? it's 4 years residence now, not the 2 that it used to be) then that's probably do-able and once she knows she can escape she will find it easier to hang on. Maybe you can send her home for a visit in the interim, that often helps as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Yes, it is 4 years from the date you validate your visa....however I understand that you need to allow a few months for the citizenship process. Someone who has done this may be able to advise how long it typically takes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 I'm about to apply for citizenship, will advise on timescale in the coming months hopefully... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Vinnie, you seem to be an extremely caring and thoughtful man and your wife is very lucky that you are considering her needs as a priority. I really hope that you succeed in your career back in the UK and are even happier together than you are in Oz. As a woman, having the support of my family to help care for my son was invaluable. I never felt like I was asking for a favour; it was like he was an extension of me so if I needed help in any way then it was automatically there. I got on with my in-laws extremely well and they were also keen to help, however, asking them to help seemed like I was 'putting on them' or asking a favour, or in some way feeling like they thought I couldn't cope with my son and was taking an opportunity to 'off load' him on to them for a few hours. Even though my son had two lots of loving grandparents who were happy to help out, the help from my own mum was asked without any guilt whatsoever, the help from my in-laws was asked with a bit of guilt and a sense of feeling a failure. At the end of the day, they weren't my parents to call upon. It may be that your wife feels a bit like this too. If so, it may be worth having a chat with your parents and they could assure her (if that is indeed the case) that they are happy to help out with their grandson at any time and she is welcome to ask them. I agree with others that your wife should stay to get her Citizenship before you return to the UK. I am back in the UK with my son, his father stayed in Australia. My son and his father both have Citizenship and I have nothing (not even PR as we all went over on temporary visas). If my son chose to live in Australia when he was older then the only option I'd have is to visit on a tourist visa which means I'd lose out in the future on a life of grandchildren etc. That is one of my biggest worries for my future. Your wife would not want to be in the same position, believe me. Best of luck to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gummygirl Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Hi, Over the past 6 months i have constantly read all posts from many people and their different experiences on this topic. It is only now that i have finally decided that i would share my experience and try to gain some further insight from people in similar situations or even views of people that may be able to provide some insight. Now i fully understand everybody's situation is different, no one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do with regards to your own personal situation and at the end of the day the decision will ultimately lie with myself and my family but for some reason it still feels better to share it. I emigrated to Perth 11 years ago at the age of 18 with my parents and two brothers. My family settled in straight away, made lots and lots of friends and if you were to meet them now you would assume they were Australian and had never been anywhere else, let alone be from the UK. My parents have never even gone back to the UK to visit because of 2 reasons, no desire to and the fact our family have always been more than willing to come to Perth and make a holiday of it. I on the other hand, struggled. and even to this day have never really settled. It was a tough age to move, even though i totally accepted it and wanted to make the move with my family. I went to university to meet friends as i was to old to go to school. Dumb right, get a massive uni debt because i wanted to meet people?? I was young and naïve. However, i did meet lots of people, got a fairly good degree (sports science) which has somehow lead to the job i do now as product specialist. I know, couldn't be further apart from each other. However, i talked myself into the job and have done ok. Moving on. 4 years ago, after numerous visits back to the UK i decided i wanted to see all of Australia, booked myself on a trip from Sydney to Cairns and upped and went. Had a great time, met a beautiful girl who is now my wife. She was from England ( i didn't intentionally go out to meet an English girl) and was from a town 10 minutes up the road from where i was from. Weird hey? I went back to uk to be with her, lasted 3 months and missed the family, so came back. After lots of money sorting visas she joined me in Perth a few months later. 2 years later we got married and we now have a son (First generation Australian). My wife has always made such an effort here and loved living here. settled in (or i thought she had) and made a real go of it. However, since she had our son she has been very homesick (misses her mum and dad, friends etc) and has been pining to return home. She gave up her life there to come here and now she is missing it terribly. She has no family here and not many 'very good' friends which she has in abundance at home. She has made lots of effort to meet people, joined lots of mums groups and does stuff everyday with our son. The only thing preventing me upping and going back is my family which is made all the harder by the fact they have their first grand child now who they adore and it would break my heart to take him away from their lives. My wife however does not have that relationship with them and wants to return. Perth is great place, ok it can be a bit dull but its what you make of it and it would be a great place to bring kids up. I am in a right predicament. I worry that we would take our son away from a fairly good life here, i worry about work as i only have about 3-4 years experience in what i do here and i worry about my family here. Yes i have family at home and i have always wanted to return but now the question has been asked and the situation is real im having doubts? Has anybody remotely been in this situation? I Know we would have a good life in the UK, lots of friends, extended family for me and direct family for my wife. Money wouldn't be an issue moving and we would have a deposit for a place over there as we have always been sensible with money and saved hard. Sorry for the long story but setting the scene is important. I hope someone can share their views. Ultimately i know i have to return for my wife as she has made the decision she needs to go. Even after months of me trying to take her rose tinted glasses off and laying down all the pros and cons. I guess its just me thats unsure. Like i said, i always would have gone but now the time is here to make a decision im finding it hard because i know how much money my family spent to get us here for a 'better' life all them years ago. and the fact we are a very close family which i think occurs when you move somewhere and only have each other for a period of time. Im 29 now, have my own family and am in a bit of a predicament! Thanks :-) You may have seen my first post asking for advice from the forum and I've gotten such a wealth of insights it seems only right to share my own if it can be of help. Moved to Australia in early 30s (not from UK), and now looking to move to the UK in mid to late 40's. If it goes ahead, the UK will be the fourth country (not including my country of origin) I've lived in since I left my home country at 18 to study overseas. Started out with a sense of adventure, but by the time I moved to Australia, I was really wanting to put down roots again. Little did I know that I would eventually think that the roots I put down were ultimately in the wrong place because once the adventure wore off, family ties called back to me. Australia has been very kind to us and I'm not leaving for anything other than family reasons. I believe it's referred to as 'the ties that bind.' The home country doesn't work for practical reasons, but I'm happy enough to adopt the family ties of my husband. Or maybe it's the wanderer in me that feels ready for a change. Who knows. Life works in mysterious ways. All I can say is that whenever I've made a big decision like moving, it's always anchored in the thinking that if I don't do it/check it out, I'll always wonder 'What if?'. And I don't want to have to do that, so I generally decide to go for it. And if things don't work out, I avoid regretting because at least now I know that I tried it and I won't be wondering 'what if'. I can also understand your wife's situation. We had two sets of good British friends who lived here for a long time. Spent a lot of couple time with them. But as soon as the first baby arrived, they went straight back. So your wife wouldn't be the first. And for good reason. But there's also nothing to say you won't be back. There's a reason this forum exists! Best of luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Thanks all for your wise words and personal views. I spoke to my wife about the citizenship and she agrees that is a sensible option. She is heading back to England tonight for a 2 week holiday to see family and friends and we are also both returning in October so that should help her out until the time permits to move permanently next year. As of March next year my wife would qualify for citizenship as she would have held a visa for 4 years and permanent residency for 12months plus. This is definitely a safeguard option as many of you have highlighted. It also leaves the door open to return in the future if we ever wanted to. I guess we will see what happens over the next 12 months. As long as we are happy as a family then it doesn't matter where we are to me. Thanks :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Thanks all for your wise words and personal views. I spoke to my wife about the citizenship and she agrees that is a sensible option. She is heading back to England tonight for a 2 week holiday to see family and friends and we are also both returning in October so that should help her out until the time permits to move permanently next year. As of March next year my wife would qualify for citizenship as she would have held a visa for 4 years and permanent residency for 12months plus. This is definitely a safeguard option as many of you have highlighted. It also leaves the door open to return in the future if we ever wanted to. I guess we will see what happens over the next 12 months. As long as we are happy as a family then it doesn't matter where we are to me. Thanks :-) There are restrictions for how much time you may spend outside the country in the year before you apply for citizenship so do keep that in mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 There are restrictions for how much time you may spend outside the country in the year before you apply for citizenship so do keep that in mind! Yeh its 90 days or something but we will definitely keep all that in mind so we do not jeopardise anything, thanks :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katanna Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 Just wanted to say thanks Vinnie for posting this. I am in exactly the same position as your wife - desperate to go home but my partner is Australian. I have been in a dilemma as to whether to stay and get my citizenship as it's another 2 1/2 years for me which feels impossible, but am worried about not having citizenship when my partner and sons do. This has helped me to make up my mind to stick it out. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 Just wanted to say thanks Vinnie for posting this. I am in exactly the same position as your wife - desperate to go home but my partner is Australian. I have been in a dilemma as to whether to stay and get my citizenship as it's another 2 1/2 years for me which feels impossible, but am worried about not having citizenship when my partner and sons do. This has helped me to make up my mind to stick it out. Thank you. Brilliant stuff. My wife has also agreed to stick it out another 12-15 months for citizenship. Who knows by then she may feel more settled and want to stay but i think her knowing there is a plan in place and possible end goal of going home has already settled her mind some what. So we will just have to make the most of life now and see what happens. Glad this helped you also, its a tough situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnie3004 Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 Quick update - My wife went back to the UK for 2 weeks to see her family, get away and get her fix and has returned even more determined to return home. Inevitable really and it was no surprise to hear her that. So...i told my family here in perth that my wife and i will be returning June 2017 to the UK. Yes they were terribly upset and it will take time for it to sink in. Especially as it will mean taking their first grandchild away but i need to live a life that is best for my wife and child now. My wife will be eligible for citizenship next march which is the reasoning behind holding out until June 2017. I guess its never to early to start preparing and the big move back now awaits. Excited, sad, nervous that im making the wrong decision, but until you do it you will never know. Luckily we will all have passports for the UK and Australia which is a very nice position to be in. Thanks for all your responses, it certainly helped :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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