wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Hi, So...we have been here (gold coast) just over 2 1/2 years and for some reason I thought I would do an update. July 2013 me, my wife and our 2 boys (then 1 and 3) emigrated from Suffolk in the UK to the Gold Coast after my wife and I previously lived here for a year pre-kids in 2008. We always said it would be a great place to bring up kids and once our WHV expired we headed back to the UK to start a family and the idea of moving here as a family just kept growing. Fast forward 3 years, 2 kids, 2 job promotions later we finally made the move. Leaving was hard but we were very excited and to be honest it was harder for us to see family upset than we were actually upset by moving, we had a big adventure ahead of us to keep us upbeat. My wife found a job within 3 month of being here as a midwife at the new hospital here. The main reason it took 3 months was down to paperwork rather than there being no jobs. We found jobs and house and got kids in kindy and all was good. Then I hit the 8 month mark (april 2014) and started thinking about home, family, friends etc.....from that moment on I have thought about/wanted to move home most days. We both made a pact before we came that we would give it 2 years to justify the cost and time it took to get here and then if one of us was unhappy we would move back. When we moved we took enough money for both of us to be out of work for 6 months but as it turned out I stayed working remotely for my UK employer (and still am) so had no break in employment and my wife started work after 3 months so we had a nice bit of money behind us just sitting in the bank...... I went to the bank one day (after just over a year here - Nov 2014) to pay in a cheque and the cashier happened to notice this amount of money we had sitting in a savings account and she asked if we were renting or were we home owners we were only renting so she said would I like to see a mortgage advisor as we would be able to buy a house with that as a deposit. The fact I was unsettled and wanted to move home I wasnt keen but my wife suggested we look into buying an investment property before that money dwindled and disappeared at Dan Murphys! At first we were thinking of buying a 2 bed unit to rent out so whether we lived here or UK it didnt matter as it would pay for itself and be a nice nest egg in 25 years time. Then someone mentioned if we built our own house here we could get the $15k first home grant.....this then got me thinking. As much as I wanted to go home the chance to build a house (something I have always wanted to do) and maybe make some money along the way was too good to turn down so I sucked up the homesickess and threw myself into the house. A condition of the $15k grant was that we had to live in the house for 6 months before selling or renting. Factoring in the 20 week build time and the 6 month condition, that would take us to the 2 year mark that we agreed we would give and then should I still want to move home we could! So...we found and bought some land in nov 2014 and started to plan/design the house. Fast forward to July 2015 (our 2 year mark) and we still ONLY had a plot of land, no house, no approved plans or anything. This was due to the land not being 'ready', registered (and once it was registered it was registered under 2 titles and 2 solicitors, the council AND the land developer didnt know which title was correct so we legally couldnt complete on the land or start building) In my mind we were meant to have built the house, lived in it for 6 months and then selling ready to move back home by this point and yet we were at a stand still. At this point I decided I didnt want to proceed anymore and just sell the land, cover costs and move back home as 'planned/discussed'/agreed' My wife still really wanted to build the house and after many discussions I agreed to go ahead with it even if just for the experience of it. This took us to Sept 2015 ( just over 2 years here) On the same skype call that we called my wifes family to tell them we were going ahead with the build, my wifes sister announces shes getting married in june this year. After this my wife said that if I was still homesick after come june we would go one way for the wedding.....and at that time, that was an escape for me, should I still need it. Fast forward to present day, we have just been up to the house to check progress and its currently being painted and tiled and we have a rough move in date of mid march. Am i glad we saw it through...YES...am I anymore settled nearly over 2 1/2 years on....NO...do I still want to/plan to move home...YES. With our mid march move in date we are tied to living in the house until mid august which means we are unable to go 1 way for the wedding in June so we have booked return flights and are going to use the holiday home in june (first time we will have been back since moving here) as a reccie and to see whether 'home' is indeed still home, whether we have changed as people, and how we/I feel when I return here. The house we are building here is one we could have only dreamt of in the UK and the pool tops it off....but all this said it doesnt excite me, doesnt compensate what we have given up to be here. Its THINGS v PEOPLE and for me people, especially the part they play in kids growing up is priceless. Our kids are happy here but then they were happy in UK, my wife likes it here but is far from settled and I still want to move home as much as I did way back in april 2014. By the time we return back here from our holiday we will be eligible for citizenship 10 months later and I think I would kick myself if we didnt get that before we moved home. For any of you STILL reading, to sum up...Im glad we tried it here, I now look at home in a different way and I now value things much more different. I got caught up in the materialistic things and the 'nice to haves' v the 'must haves' In an ideal world we will get citizenship and then move home and carry on with our life and settle down. I should add, my main reason for wanting citizenship is for the kids sake and then should they, like us, ,move here in later years we can follow too as parental visa are just too hard to come by. Its certainly been an emotional rollercoaster and as much as I want to move home we are still here! Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Interesting read! Shows some extra pitfalls of building your own home...Hope you enjoy the 6 months in it before you move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Thanks @lastonealive it has certainly put me off building again wherever we live in the world. The post was meat to include an update/overview of everything here but it kind of went down the house route. General life here has been ok, weathers nice, if not a bit boring sometimes. We have been through/used by quite a few fake friends and I still dont understand AFL or rugby and chicken salt still tastes like a crumbled oxo cube! I miss the variety of europe and the change of seasons etc but there are worse places to 'sit it out' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 To be honest I think the whole agreement at the start to give it 2 years was a mistake. I think doing that means you don't actually throw yourself into making it work 100% at it is only ever temporary in your head. That and continuing to work for your employer in UK remotely means you have never really settled. But I hope you are happy when you get back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 That was a good read Wattsy - very honest and now you know where you want to be. Good luck with moving back and enjoy the time you still have here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Thanks for the replies. The whole 2 years thing was also due to my wife having to work for QLD health for 2 years due to the visa etc. Yes I still work remotely BUT in a shared office so still get the whole 'going to work' and social side etc, its no different to me working for an AUS company. Thanks @JockinTas , tassie is on 'the list' of things to do before we head home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 To be honest I think the whole agreement at the start to give it 2 years was a mistake. I think doing that means you don't actually throw yourself into making it work 100% at it is only ever temporary in your head. That and continuing to work for your employer in UK remotely means you have never really settled. But I hope you are happy when you get back. Yes, but anyone who does not give it two years you would criticise as too short. This post merely demonstrates that for some that umilical cord to the place and people you grew up with is too hard to sever for some however good life may be here. I thought the OPs reasoning has been sound throughout. I do think that returning for a holiday/family wedding in June is hardly going to give a fair representation of what it would be like to return to live though but I sense that all will be ok once they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 I do think that returning for a holiday/family wedding in June is hardly going to give a fair representation of what it would be like to return to live though but I sense that all will be ok once they do. Agreed, its more to see how we feel when we return here as opposed to what life will be like back there if we move back. 6 weeks of no work, red carpet treatment and eating out all the time and being back during an english summer (no better) isnt a fair representation I appreciate that. Rather this than move back without re-visiting first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Thanks for the replies. The whole 2 years thing was also due to my wife having to work for QLD health for 2 years due to the visa etc. Yes I still work remotely BUT in a shared office so still get the whole 'going to work' and social side etc, its no different to me working for an AUS company. Thanks @JockinTas , tassie is on 'the list' of things to do before we head home! We certainly have four proper seasons here. Last winter was the coldest for 50 years. Even had a flurry of snow here in Devonport and that's almost unheard of. Plenty of frosty mornings interspersed by gale force winds so don't come at that time of year if you can help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I think this demonstrates me theory: that to make a move to Australia work out you have to arrive with a determination to move forward, rather than look back over your shoulder at what you've lost. There has to be a will to make the life you're now living better and not to mourn the one you've left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiralx Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Very honest post - thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 I think this demonstrates me theory: that to make a move to Australia work out you have to arrive with a determination to move forward, rather than look back over your shoulder at what you've lost. There has to be a will to make the life you're now living better and not to mourn the one you've left behind. Our lives (old and new) pretty much mirror each other. We have gained a bigger house and we have the sunshine but at the cost of family and friends. For us its not a case of x is better than y...more what is more important to us/for the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Our lives (old and new) pretty much mirror each other. We have gained a bigger house and we have the sunshine but at the cost of family and friends. For us its not a case of x is better than y...more what is more important to us/for the kids. But you aren't guaranteed any of what you left behind will be there for you when you get back. Friends and family will be living their own lives, moving away, dying etc... You are moving back to slot yourself back in to their lives, not concentrating on what you have now and making that better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Yeah I guess it depends on person for me Skype and the odd visit is enough. In fact probably speak more to family now than before. Life is pretty much the same during working week, however just feels like I can do so much more of what I enjoy at the weekend here...Bigger housing not a big deal, get used to wherever after a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 It sounds like it all boils down to you being lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 It sounds like it all boils down to you being lonely. Thanks Doctor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 You said so yourself that Australia is a great place to bring up kids. And wifey and kids are happy. You are lonely and that is overriding all the reasons you came to bring up your kids in Australia. It is nothing to be defensive about. But probably healthy to accept for your own well being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Great update Wattsy and lots of luck with your future plans, i hope you settle and find happiness where ever you end up. We did look at building but we heard to many horror stories and dramas so bailed out and bought one already built. At least you have had the wanted experience of building, so that is something you can now tick off your bucket list,lol Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Indeed @calNgary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I still dont understand AFL or rugby and chicken salt still tastes like a crumbled oxo cube! Don't worry...I was born here and still don't understand them either...including the chicken salt thing. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Thanks for sharing Wattsy Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Dont get me wrong. I have days where I think, look what we have here etc...but then it takes a birthday, xmas, sunday roast etc and the thought of my children growing up here without grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles etc depresses the life out of me. Thats not me saying anything about Australia, it would be the same in any other country we lived in (except UK obviously) I imagine if you were born here and have all your family here and dont know any different then its a good life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 .but then it takes a birthday, xmas, sunday roast etc and the thought of my children growing up here without grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles etc depresses the life out of me.. As pointed out, that's because you're focused on what's over your shoulder and not looking forward. But as others have said, I also wish your the best of luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 As pointed out, that's because you're focused on what's over your shoulder and not looking forward. But as others have said, I also wish your the best of luck... I guess there is no way of really knowing how it affects you until you try it. The thing that really hit home was when we went to a 'friend' of ours daughters party a few months ago and she opened her presents from her grandparents on skype....that broke my heart and made me think I dont want my kids to have birthdays like that. Each to their own tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I guess there is no way of really knowing how it affects you until you try it. The thing that really hit home was when we went to a 'friend' of ours daughters party a few months ago and she opened her presents from her grandparents on skype....that broke my heart and made me think I dont want my kids to have birthdays like that. Each to their own tho. So nostalgia and the pull of family takes you home -- what do you do after the grandparents have passed away? The kids and cousins have gone away to university - or taken jobs abroad? You could focus on making the birthdays here better? Rather than focus on what is being missed out on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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