Thinking of returning to UK to live.

[Ferny Creek flower]

My Husband recently passed away , I visited family and friends in England and I am now considering returning there to live. I was born in the UK, lived in New Zealand for a number of years, married an Australian and have been in Australia for 26 years, My Daughter and her Husband have been living in London for several years, love the lifestyle and have no plans to return to Australia. I am close to retirement age, really cannot see myself living in London, although I can understand why people are fascinated by the lifestyle, I would prefer a quieter place to live.I also have family in the Midlands and friends in Somerset. It is a very big decision to make and I get quite nervous when I think about it, I have no family in Australia.

[Yorky]

Hi, I came over to Australia 8 years ago, with my husband and our 2 children. My hubby passed away 3 and a half years ago, the children are off doing their thing, and I recently moved to Brisbane for work. So....i'm hearing what you're saying. It's certainly not a nice, or comforting, situation to be in. If you'd like to chat, or meet for coffee, please feel free to contact me anytime.

Happy New Year )

[tea4too]

Hi, and welcome to PIO. I’m so sorry to read of your husbands passing, and I guess this is a difficult and challenging time for you for a lot of reasons. Whether you ultimately make the move to the UK or not, as a forum PIO is a place where you will hopefully meet some like minded people to share your thoughts and hopes and worries with.

 

My own advice, for what it’s worth, would be to sit tight for a while and not rush any decisions. You need time to grieve both for your husband but also for the life you had and the future you may have anticipated. However maybe also take some time out to visit your daughter and use the break as an opportunity to explore the UK? Perhaps think about what would help you to settle in a new country - how far you would want to live from your daughter, access to amenities, opportunities to explore hobbies (old and new), the finance that would incur…it may be too soon the rush that sort of exploration, or it might be the focus you need, - either way it won’t hurt to think about it.

 

In the meantime there are lots of posters who have returned to the UK (albeit some more successfully than others) and I’m sure a good number of them will be happy to share their experience and knowledge if you have any particular questions. All the best Ferny Creek Flower T x

[Guest]

Welcome to PIO - it's going to be quiet until the festivities are over so do check back in over the next couple of days for more responses.

 

So sorry to hear of your loss, my mam died earlier this year and my dad moved to be closer to me so I have seen first hand the costs and benefits.

 

It is as you say big decision - the UK will have changed an awful lot since you last lived here, I can totally understand you wanting to be closer to your daughter but I would not make that your only criteria. Your daughter could move again and unless you are living close day to day you would still be on your own (& in a strange country) - I guess if you are in Midlands or Somerset then you would see her 'high days and holidays'. How does your daughter feel about you moving? If it's a dream come true for her, there may be more chance that you do get the family it seems you would like.

 

One thing you would need to look at very carefully are your pensions - there are some 'experts' on here who can advise but from what I understand you must be in Australia when you become eligible for the state pension or you will not get it - once qualified it will still be then paid if you leave (though not index-linked if I recall??) and of course you are at the mercy of exchange rates.

 

Could you maybe rent somewhere for 6 months in the area you'd like to live and take a long 'holiday' before deciding whether you'd like a permanent move? You could always but your belongings in storage and rent out your house if you have one to help fund it.

 

I have learnt from moving the other way that things are more different than you might think even the most basic things like bank accounts, mobile phone tariffs, utility companies, the food in supermarkets etc. etc. etc. I know I felt like I was an 18 year old again having to negotiate grown-up stuff for the first time but without parents to help & without the same level of understanding from others. It felt like living in a fog for quite some time and I wonder whether you feel strong enough to cope with that at the moment.

 

If your bereavement was very recent I would certainly wait a year or so as the move will be very stressful and you will need to be feeling ready for that.

 

All the very best with your decision & if you decide to move there is a MBTTUK group on here where many of us who have made the move back or are in the process of it are - just message @The Pom Queen and she will add you. You will be able to get lots of practical and emotional support there.

[Marisawright]

I'd say the first thing you need to look into is pensions. There are major implications for the Australian pension and your superannuation if you leave, and you may or may not be entitled to a British pension. How old are you?

[Johndoe]

Sorry to hear of your loss.............but................are you considering a move because you're lonely, or because the UK is where you think your loneliness/isolation can be resolved? Do you hate Australia? Do you have a yearning to be in a UK that you are no longer familiar with? Are you just posting because you don't really know what you seek at this moment in time?

 

Although this forum is a wonderful source of support for those thinking of emigrating or returning, it's advice from members can be clouded by their personal circumstances/bias and I for one, do not preclude myself from that. OTOH, I have had similar circumstances to consider so I will not offer up advice here as the problem that you face have far reaching consequences, some of which have been admirably covered by previous posters.

 

Financial considerations aside, I can only offer an insight as to how I felt when left alone after 20yrs in Oz, and how I am only just learning to come to terms with that, but I can only do that via pm or email

 

My condolences on your loss, but what I have learned is that the sooner that you seek to move on from that loss, then the sooner that you can start living again...............and you have to.

[Rachel Tilley]

Hi Ferny Creek Flower,

 

Sorry to read of your loss. Where does 'home' feel like to you? Would a return to the UK feel like going home or would leaving Australia feel like leaving home and going to live in a new country in the UK? Or does it not matter where you live, you just want to be with family?

 

I am from a close family and when my dad died I wanted my mum to be close to me. I wouldn't have liked her to be far away on her own.

 

I think you have been given some great advice already, but one thing that I wouldn't put too much emphasis on is the financial element. I'd rather be with a loving family and able to get by than wealthy and on my own! If that is a possibility and you're not going to be totally broke by a move to the UK then a lower standard of living may be compensated by the love of family.

 

I wish you a happier year in 2016.

[Marisawright]

Too late to edit my post now, but I see you are close to retirement age. If you mean pensionable age (i.e. 65 years old), then I would strongly advise you to wait until you reach 65 before making the move.

 

If you wait, you can walk into Centrelink on the day you turn 65 and claim your right to the Australian aged pension - then you can leave the country the very next day if you like! But if you leave Australia now, you won't be able to claim the Australian pension from the UK at all.

 

If you've got superannuation or other income sources, you may feel that's not a big deal now - but you may feel differently as you get older and your nest egg starts to diminish. If you don't have a good nest egg, then obviously it IS a big deal, especially as you won't get much pension from the British government.

[Chortlepuss]

Sorry for your loss - excellent advice here as always. So much going on, and I'd support the 'try before you buy' approach. After things settle and you have resolved pension issues, you can work out where your heart lies. I would say (and I am biased like many) that the right location in the UK can make for a wonderful retirement. I come from a village in the South East which has so much going on for retirees - It was dull for me when I was younger but I'm drawn back to it as I approach retirement.

If you have good friends in Somerset then that may be a lovely place to move to, and would possibly be less lonely than in the fast pace of London, despite proximity to your daughter. However if you have a supportive community and extensive friendship group here in Oz, it may suit you better here. Good luck in whichever way you choose.

[Kanga]

I totally agree with Tee4too. I returned to the UK last year after 35 years in Australia after a divorce and would really recommend that you sit tight for a while and maybe write a list of "pros and cons". I have found that while family are very pleased to see you at first, after a while it all wears off. I didn't consider how I would feel about leaving all my friends in Australia, and making friends here when you are older is not easy. I also miss the warmer climate, although Spring in the UK is very beautiful and so are the long days. However, I have written my pros and cons list and have decided to return to Australia this year. It has been an expensive venture, but the time I have spent with family here has been worth it. Good luck in whatever you decide.