Sydneygirl Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 We, my husband and I and our 2 small children, moved back to the UK earlier this year, after a decade in Australia in order to be closer to family, allowing our children to have a "real" relationship with family. It was a very hard call, we loved our life in Sydney, but felt we couldn't do it to our families to stay for good. But much though we love being near family, we miss Australia so so much, to the point we're seriously considering moving back again. It's heartbreaking to hurt our family like this, has anyone been through this? Can we be so selfish to move back to the place where we were so happy? I hate hurting my parents, but it's also putting crazy pressure on my marriage being in a place where neither of us really want to be, which can't be good for our kids and ultimately that's where my responsibility lies, right? Advice much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 If you're not enjoying being in UK, want to come back to Oz and can afford it - come back! It's hard to leave your family but at least you and hubby both agree where you want to be - which is a great start! Kids will be fine as they are small - with a word of warning - once they are older (pre-uni) you will not be able to move country so easily - so do it while you can. With young kids, I am assuming your family are relatively young and can come to visit? I wouldn't beat yourself up about it - life is short.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Different folk have a different perspective on this. Some put their parent's needs first and allow that to influence where they bring up their family. For those who have such an unbreakable bond or sense of responsibility towards their ageing parents, the decision is clear. I personally favour lengthening that umbilical cord and not letting where my parents live influence my life decisions. You have to decide which camp you are in as where emigration is concerned it is really one or the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I'm in the if you are really unhappy and its causing problems in your marriage where there were none before, then no, you are not over reacting. If you've given it a good try and things like finding work etc have happened and its still not feeling right for you, then explore the possibilities to return to Aus. Sometimes it takes a move back to the UK for people to realise what is is they really want or need for their lives. I'm a great believer in not living lives for other people or living somewhere just to be close to them (outside of my husband and child of course). My mother always said she didn't have me so I would never leave home and find my own way in the world, wherever that might have taken me. If you can't cope with your kids not having the relationship you had been hoping for, that to me is the only real stumbling block in all this. I don't see any reason why it can't still be a good relationship, just not one where you grow up with the extended family down the road or in the same town/local area. Make trips back to visit, even if its just one parent and the kids to keep costs down, keep up with Skype, emails, letters and so on. The kids have had a chunk of time already to spend time with the family, so hopefully that has been a good time and has helped them build some ties that will remain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Well I have another perspective, I also moved back to the UK earlier this year from Sydney. We are pretty happy in the UK, but we do miss Auatralia too. We are both independent from family, we left them without too many qualms and we didn't miss them desperately or ever get homesick. But upon getting back we realised how much it meant to them, how excited and thankful they were to have us back. It is said you need to be selfish to be a good migrant and we were, but I do not think I could be selfish enough to announce again that we are going back. No it would be too cruel, we are here for the foreseeable now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booma Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 i ping ponged & am so glad to be back in oz. i miss my family especially after just having a baby but our future is in oz & my parents agree it is the best place for me & my child. you need to do what is best for you little family unit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 If you don't want to be there then move on. At least you're both on the same page which is a bonus. I guess the question is how selfish (in a non pejorative sense) can you be? And remember, as we always say, you can never go back to exactly what you had so you may find that Sydney won't be the same either. You can't live your life for other people - it's my choice to live in UK now and it would take a much harder heart than my granite one to leave my aged parents but there ya go! (Mine are 90+ now but I would, and did, have no compunction about leaving them in their 60s) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 If you aren't happy where you are then move back, it is your life. We moved back to the UK for US and it was the best move possible but that doesn't mean it is for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I think move back,too. Your first responsibility should always be your immediate family and what makes them happy. Hopefully you will still be able to visit your UK family and keep in contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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