trevnod Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hi Guys, has anyone migrated to Oz by themselves? Reason I ask is I recently split up with my ex as she didn't want to come with me. On one hand I want to stay here as I miss the ex a lot and figure happiness is more important. On the other hand I want to still go to Oz as that's always been my dream. I have visited before and love the place, plus I now have a permanent visa. The lifestyle, weather and standard of living in Oz suit me really well. Can't say the same about the UK although my friends and family are here plus I would be with my ex of 2 plus years. If anyone else has been in a similar situation any advise would be great (flight due to leave October 5th). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hi @trevnod one thing I will say is if you have recently split up don't rush in to a decision you may regret in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azh Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Im going alone. No-one to rely on me and no-One to rely on. Now your on your own, what do you have to lose? Go for it mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hi Guys, has anyone migrated to Oz by themselves? Reason I ask is I recently split up with my ex as she didn't want to come with me. On one hand I want to stay here as I miss the ex a lot and figure happiness is more important. On the other hand I want to still go to Oz as that's always been my dream. I have visited before and love the place, plus I now have a permanent visa. The lifestyle, weather and standard of living in Oz suit me really well. Can't say the same about the UK although my friends and family are here plus I would be with my ex of 2 plus years. If anyone else has been in a similar situation any advise would be great (flight due to leave October 5th). Well I found my lifestyle much the same (work, chores, some play) to be honest and the weather is more punishing in Australia and stopped me doing things far more than UK weather ever has, so I am not convinced these are great reasons for moving myself. But what are great reasons are simply that it is your dream, something that you want to do, that you love the place and have a visa. That you have got this far in terms of break up of the relationship, suggests that the relationship was not the one that would go the distance anyway and in fact it is very mature that you and s/he have both recognised that you want different things and have different goals. Better to realise that now than later me thinks. Look forward and enjoy the next chapter (I am saying this on the assumption that you are not leaving behind children of course, that is another matter). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 If you are free and single (without kids) then go for it. Go as cheaply as possible, back pack around a few states if you can afford to and really see Australia before you decide to settle anywhere. You'll probably prefer one state more than another - or even prefer the UK over all of it! You may see a job opportunity on your travels and decide to settle somewhere for a bit, who knows? It's a good thing that you and your ex have made the break now, because she could have resented you for 'dragging' her there when she didn't want to go (that's how I ended up emigrating and it didn't work for me), or you could have resented her for stopping you from going if you don't go. It is a great place, but so is the UK. It has good weather, but sometimes, so does the UK. When it's too cold to go out in the UK and you sit inside with the fire and the central heating on it can be too hot in Oz to go out and you sit inside with the air con on. It's one extreme to the other. One of my favourite sayings is:- It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do, or how much you have. It's who you have beside you. You may spend a year or two in Oz and realise you'd rather be with your girlfriend after all, and if she is still free at the time then what's to stop you trying again? But you could meet the woman of your dreams in Oz and stay there not because you've fallen in love with Australia, but because you've fallen in love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzhead Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Depending on your current mental and emotional state resulting from the split, I think it could be a risky move to come on your own at this point imo. If you're fragile and this is a painful split from a serious long term relationship, then there is the danger that you won't get to experience Australia properly whilst here due to being preoccupied by trying to come to terms with the split. You will inevitably feel lonely and your mental state could really cloud your judgement. Personally, if I was in this scenario I would delay my entry to Aus and get my head straight whilst in UK amongst friends and family. However, if it's less of a big deal than that and you're simply feeling a bit gloomy, then coming out here will be the best thing. You'll be over the split within seconds! Just reading between the lines of what you've posted. I definitely would not fly out without ensuring everything is as sorted as it can be with your ex. The last thing you want is it to be affecting you when you come out. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevnod Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Al good advise guys thanking you. As for leaving it long enough I think that's why my flight isn't until October so have some time to think things through. I could have went over much quicker and that would have been bad for myself so god knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PommyPaul Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 it's a hard one mate and i know how it feels changing yourself and what you want to keep someone else happy. maybe give it abit of time before you make the decision to make sure in your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Hi Guys, has anyone migrated to Oz by themselves? Reason I ask is I recently split up with my ex as she didn't want to come with me. On one hand I want to stay here as I miss the ex a lot and figure happiness is more important. . I hope you're not saying that you're reluctant to leave your ex? I was like you - still on good terms with my ex and keen to remain friends. However eventually, I realised that wasn't going to work! So long as your ex is your best friend, it's impossible to move on to a new life and a new relationship. And while you might think being near her is important to your happiness now, how will you feel when she gets a new boyfriend and has less time for you? I'd say emigrating alone is possibly the best way to do it, and I think you should go for it! Emigrating alone is far cheaper than trying to move with a family, so if it doesn't work out, you haven't lost much. Don't think of it as a forever move, think of it as an adventure and an exploration. Say to yourself that you'll try it for a year then review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azh Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 When I comes to paying for everything.. VISA, flights... It's a very expensive "try it for a year" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzhead Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 When I comes to paying for everything.. VISA, flights... It's a very expensive "try it for a year" Nowhere near as expensive as never trying it at all though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
movingback Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 When I comes to paying for everything.. VISA, flights... It's a very expensive "try it for a year" He already has a visa. He's single. Costs are a one way flight and a room in a share house/hostel. Not very expensive in my view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I wouldn't stay to remain close to your ex, I don't think you'll ever really get closure and allow yourself to heal. I broke up with my ex on fairly good terms and he was still my best friend, but I realised that that had to change at least temporarily so that we could adjust to our new dynamic. I know it sounds silly, but it's very easy to act like things haven't changed when you're still involved in each other's lives. It's hard, but treat this as an opportunity for you to be selfish and do all of those things you wanted to do but felt like you couldn't do before. It's actually kind of liberating and it's a relief to know that you're no longer in a relationship that's not working. If going to oz is one of those things you've always wanted to do, then do it! You'll be meeting a heap of new people who won't be mutual friends with your ex, you'll be exploring new places and you'll have less time to dwell on what was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 When I comes to paying for everything.. VISA, flights... It's a very expensive "try it for a year" The OP already has his visa. And while it's not cheap, it's going to be a lot cheaper than waiting until he's older, with more possessions to store/sell/transport and possibly a family in tow. Also the older you are, the more difficult it is to pick up your career again if you take a year out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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