Helz980 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Well folks after posting here I think in January about being so miserable & homesick. I've had an up & down year. One of the turning points was being referred by my doctor to see a counsellor. It was the best thing I did as it helped me regain my strength & have the ability to say how I felt without collapsing in an emotional heap. I've gone from the woman who sat on the kitchen floor crying & my young daughter wiping my tears away to someone who has said right oz isn't for me & I'm moving back. I returned nee to the uk end of July on holiday & as soon as I landed at newcastle airport I felt right again. That sick feeling had gone, when we drove up the road to my parents house & Olivia saw the farm & ran out into the garden I just knew. After a a few weeks I finally told my husband I didn't want to go back to oz, he replied as he always did with you are deluded, England is ****, the lifestyle is better there blah blah, & oz is the place I want to be. Anyway he returned back to oz for work & we had a 2 hour argument on the phone (much needed!) & I said if you want to stay in oz, do it but I'm not going through what I did to which he replied that was all in my own head. But with my stronger resolve I'd already applied for a job, got an interview etc. Only to have a less heated chat which we've both agreed to live in oz for 6 months, plan & strategise the move home properly & begin a new chapter back home. So there you go, nearly there :smile: & so so happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Its good you've managed to find a compromise Helz,and I do hope you find some happiness in the future.I think I would of chosen to stay in the UK,looking for a job,and not doing the 6mths back in Australia.I'm guessing at the end of the 6mths,hopefully your OH will return to the UK with you?What if you go over there with your daughter,and your OH changes his mind,you say you're still going,and he then says you can't take your daughter?I don't mean to sound negative Helz,but have you thought about that aspect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Personally I think you have compromised enough already and I would have just stayed in the UK, so kudos to you on going back for 6 months. Remember that "right" feeling, there is nothing quite like it, and the greatest good luck for a quick return x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Hi melza, yes that was the ideal option, he says he will return & I know he will. I know I've compromised a lot but this is what I've got to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I'd be very careful personally i wouldn't have returned to Australia if the OH is reluctant to return. If he decides to change his mind and it does and has happened to many parents. You could find yourself trapped in Australia. They're many parents trapped in Australia and other countries because the other parent won't allow them to leave with the child/children. Good luck i hope it all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thanks folks for your advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I'm really pleased and very happy for you. Does this mean more coffees/lunches?? :wink: I hope so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 I'm really pleased and very happy for you. Does this mean more coffees/lunches?? :wink: I hope so... Well of course!!!!! Maybe potential babysitting duty ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Well of course!!!!! Maybe potential babysitting duty Anytime! :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie22 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I bet you must feel so relieved now! Six months will probably fly by knowing you're going back and will be busy spent organizing. Good on you for sticking to your guns. Hopefully you might also be able to see Australia in a different light too and actually enjoy that time now the pressure is off. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 So pleased for you, I know how much you want to go home. Hopefully see you and @caramac in the NE soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolvesaussie Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Question for those people advising her not to have come back Does that mean u have to not allow your wife and kids to go on holiday? Surely they would still be resident in Australia and would be returned there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Question for those people advising her not to have come backDoes that mean u have to not allow your wife and kids to go on holiday? Surely they would still be resident in Australia and would be returned there. You are of course correct in that they would/could be forced by the courts to return. However given they choice of being stuck in Australia with no chance of leaving or being in my country of choice with perhaps a fighting chance of being allowed to stay where i wanted to live i'd take the later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tillyd Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I'm happy for you, nothing is straight forward is it? As you know I have return back to the UK by myself. My oh want to stay and is 100% certain he will never live back in the UK. So basically the decision and my own future is in my hands, just as yours is in your hands. Your oh has promised you after 6months he will return. Mine has promised me a beautiful new house if I return to oz. Why can't it be without conditions or insentives? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John2012 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Good on you, the move to Oz from the UK is not for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Hope that it works out for you and does not turn out like one of my best friends whose husband said would return after 2 years and has been saying so every year since and its year 17 now and she is still not back where she wants to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I'm happy for you, nothing is straight forward is it? As you know I have return back to the UK by myself. My oh want to stay and is 100% certain he will never live back in the UK. So basically the decision and my own future is in my hands, just as yours is in your hands. Your oh has promised you after 6months he will return. Mine has promised me a beautiful new house if I return to oz. Why can't it be without conditions or insentives? Do what makes you happy. I have to agree with you about conditions and insentives. Good luck. Personally i wouldn't/couldn't live anywhere i knew my oh was unhappy living so find it hard to imagine others trying to in my opinion force/ persuade their partners/spouses to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamffc Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Am pleased for you, it must be such a relief to make a decision that has been traumatising you for so long. I came back in June (after 18 months), have found it so easy to find work and the jobs are much better, could afford to have two months off in summer owing to having a support network here, and am now in the process of buying a house. There are some things I miss about Melbourne and it's been a great experience. I feel completely different now, do loads more outdoorsy things than I used to...there is no reason why people can't have 'the outdoor lifestyle' here if that is what they really want. Good on you for going back over for six months first as that will show commitment as opposed to selfishness or stubbornness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted September 28, 2014 Author Share Posted September 28, 2014 I do feel relieved tbh!! Definitely aunt agatha!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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