excitedbutterrified Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Just wondering if it is normal for a move to Oz to be driven by one partner much more than the other. I am mad keen on sorting out the practicalities of our move to Melbourne, but my wife is much more subdued. She is still looking forward to it, and working towards that goal, but worries much more about all the practical aspects and is clearly much less excited. It kind of worries me, and I don't want to push her into something she doesn't want to do. (She assures me she definitely wants to go, but there is a difference between us). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Maybe your wife is just the practical member of your family. Someone has to be- sounds like a good balance to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I'm more for lists and research and booking in advance. My OH just wants to rock up and see what happens .However if you are unsure of your wife's feelings talk talk talk and talk some more because if one of you isn't 100 percent behind it then there really could be problems ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 (edited) Nope we're both fly by the seat of your pants kinda people. Pretty much all of our momentous decisions have been spur of the moment. We've just taken opportunities that have popped up and gone with the flow. But we have agreed with the decisions we've made (except for the hiatus where I was desperate to leave Aus and he wouldn't live in UK - but circs changed and we both agreed when they did). If one of you doesn't share the passion though then I think you're more likely to struggle with it all. Edited August 20, 2014 by Quoll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I am the one driving our move a lot more than our partner. I want to return home and my partner supports me in that but he worries about finding work (his is a small industry so not easy to find work) and how we will survive financially and not been a burden on my family (we will be staying with my mum for a while when we first land). He is on board with the move because he realises its a better life for the kids in Australia than London but he worries a lot more than I do. I am "it will all work out, we just have to get there, dont worry so much" but he doesnt get that and doesnt want to take any chances. It means a lot of what I want to plan and time scales are frequently delayed because he doesnt think we should move so quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seizethedance Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I've been the one wanting to move while my Aussie hubby is reluctant and worried about practicalities. We've finally worked out a plan that we're both happy with though, which involves me retraining to (hopefully) get better financial security than we have here. Now he's looking forward to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 As long as you're flexible and dont burn any bridges (get UK citizenship for the alien/Aus citizenship for the alien - v important! Take a career break, rent out the house if you own one) then go with the flow it'll either all work out or it won't, no point overthinking it. The main thing to be aware of especially in a mixed marriage is the sticky on The Hague Convention and Australia's view on removal from jurisdiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Berry Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) From the migrants I have met, often one person tends to be more of the driving force than the other. Personally I think that both people have to be committed to giving it a real go, but they need to be honest about this before they come over. I think sometimes people get swept along with 'the dream', rather than understanding the reality of having to start their lives over again from scratch. Edited August 22, 2014 by Jessica Berry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Both of us wanted to go, can't really think who thought of it first. At that time the UK was in dire straits, power cuts, bread queues. It was more like Soviet Russia. Ted Heath was PM if I can remember , hopeless man. The weather was foul and everyone was gloomy and miserable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celt Down Under Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Our move was driven by Maggie Thatcher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Our move was driven by Maggie Thatcher. We just missed Cameron thank gawd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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