You probably can't answer but.......

[Kellie23]

You probably can't answer but are we doing the right thing? We exchange on our house tomorrow and should be heading to the Gold Coast in September but my god the doubts are creeping in now! The saying you don't know what you got until it's gone springs to mind! All of a sudden everything we have here means so much more. Having spent time with family and friends lately the thought of not seeing them breaks my heart. Taking the kids away from Grandparents, husband leaving a job he loves, kids are doing well at school (although I don't like the school) I have a huge support network. Giving all that up because we believe we can give the kids a better life in Australia. I'm sure you have heard all this before but with 8 weeks ish to go I'm having a complete panic about it. Any help? Comments? We keep saying let's just try it for a year and see! Kids are 7, 9 and 18 ,months.

[idoctor]

Think positively, after all you've been through you'd regret not going.

 

You will miss family but as you say you can always come back. At least you won't regret not trying.

If you do come back your quality of life will be better as you will appreciate everything even more than you do just now without even leaving.

[Kellie23]

Think positively, after all you've been through you'd regret not going.

 

You will miss family but as you say you can always come back. At least you won't regret not trying.

If you do come back your quality of life will be better as you will appreciate everything even more than you do just now without even leaving.

 

Thank you and I know your right we should give it a go, I'm being such a whimp!

[Quoll]

Do you have to sell the house? Can't you just rent it out? Can your DH take a career break from the job he loves? Can you hang on to the kids school places? Do you have a job to go to - is it better than what you have now? Are you doing it for the adventure? If you're not in it for the adventure and you don't have something better to go to and you aren't self sufficient and more than a little bit selfish, then don't do it.

 

Dont to be misled by the "better life for the kids" meme - it'll be different but not inherently better, it's just another first world country on the other side of the world. By all means, give it a go for a year but don't burn any bridges in the process.

[tina0101]

Kellie, I am exactly the same as you!!! I keep freaking out about leaving everything behind too :-)

 

I think most people have 'wobbles' at some point. Going into the unknown and losing everything we have is a pretty scary prospect. We're arriving in Brisbane just before you; please feel free to contact me when you get out there if you fancy a drink. I think there are a few of us arriving at the same time, so we should all meet up. xx

[Kellie23]

Do you have to sell the house? Can't you just rent it out? Can your DH take a career break from the job he loves? Can you hang on to the kids school places? Do you have a job to go to - is it better than what you have now? Are you doing it for the adventure? If you're not in it for the adventure and you don't have something better to go to and you aren't self sufficient and more than a little bit selfish, then don't do it.

 

Dont to be misled by the "better life for the kids" meme - it'll be different but not inherently better, it's just another first world country on the other side of the world. By all means, give it a go for a year but don't burn any bridges in the process.

 

Think it's too late now seen as we exchange tomorrow! If we came back hubby could get a job back in his trade as a diesel mechanic as he is very well thought of but he may not be able to go back to the exact job unless there was a vacancy. He has a job to go to and we will have money from house sale but I won't be able to work initially as baby is only 18 months, unless of course she could do a couple of days at nursery whilst I work just depends if that works out financially. We won't be better off financially out there probably worse off in fact! Yes there's def an element of adventure/life experience to it and if we came back kids have experienced living in a different country but I just hope that doesn't back fire. I wish I had a crystal ball!

[MARYROSE02]

I rented my flat in Sydney out for 12 years whilst I was in England, and now my home in England has been rented out for 5 years since I've been back in Sydney.

 

I think that once 'the seed' has been planted in your mind, that you have to come to Australia. Give it a year, preferably two (The Ten Pound Poms used to have to stay for two years or pay their fare back I think?) If you don't come, that feeling of regret will always be there.

 

We all have live with sadness about leaving family and friends. I still feel sad thinking about my Nana, clutching my Mum's arm as I left from Gatwick in 1978, and I never saw her again.

 

My nephew is 22, the same age that my brother was when he came to OZ and now he's gone to England with his Pommie girlfriend, the plan being that they stay for a year then return, but who knows. I went to his farewell party and his grandparents were both upset. But they came out from Italy in the 1950's, which must have been difficult.

[Kellie23]

Kellie, I am exactly the same as you!!! I keep freaking out about leaving everything behind too :-)

 

I think most people have 'wobbles' at some point. Going into the unknown and losing everything we have is a pretty scary prospect. We're arriving in Brisbane just before you; please feel free to contact me when you get out there if you fancy a drink. I think there are a few of us arriving at the same time, so we should all meet up. xx

 

WOBBLES I need a stronger word than that! Lol. Oh Tina I never thought I'd feel like this and I'm sure you are right everyone must get like this unless they have no feelings! Leaving friends/family soooo hard. We definitely need to meet up. How many weeks do you have left in the UK? X

[Kellie23]

I rented my flat in Sydney out for 12 years whilst I was in England, and now my home in England has been rented out for 5 years since I've been back in Sydney.

 

I think that once 'the seed' has been planted in your mind, that you have to come to Australia. Give it a year, preferably two (The Ten Pound Poms used to have to stay for two years or pay their fare back I think?) If you don't come, that feeling of regret will always be there.

 

We all have live with sadness about leaving family and friends. I still feel sad thinking about my Nana, clutching my Mum's arm as I left from Gatwick in 1978, and I never saw her again.

 

My nephew is 22, the same age that my brother was when he came to OZ and now he's gone to England with his Pommie girlfriend, the plan being that they stay for a year then return, but who knows. I went to his farewell party and his grandparents were both upset. But they came out from Italy in the 1950's, which must have been difficult.

 

Yes we keep saying the same thing it would be easy to say let's just stay here and carry on living as we are, which is a good life filled with family and friends but I know that somewhere down the line we will regret not giving it a go!

 

I have a ve a new found respect for anyone who has emigrated whether they have stayed or returned it's such a brave thing to do! Xx

[zk2102]

I know exactly how u feel!! We're due to exchange next week on our house. We too are heading to the GC in Sept!! I've spent more time going out with my friends lately than I ever did before. TBH I'm bricking myself. What if I don't make friends, kids hate it etc, etc...

We had to sell to finance the move. I'm sure it'll all be good, but boy is it feeling real now!!

[Kellie23]

I know exactly how u feel!! We're due to exchange next week on our house. We too are heading to the GC in Sept!! I've spent more time going out with my friends lately than I ever did before. TBH I'm bricking myself. What if I don't make friends, kids hate it etc, etc...

We had to sell to finance the move. I'm sure it'll all be good, but boy is it feeling real now!!

 

So glad I'm not the only one totally bricking it! Well you have just made one friend! How old are your kids? Same here in regards to financing the move! It's so mad all the different emotions, I can go from going to bed thinking yes let's do this to waking up saying no let's not! Total nightmare. X

[zk2102]

So glad I'm not the only one totally bricking it! Well you have just made one friend! How old are your kids? Same here in regards to financing the move! It's so mad all the different emotions, I can go from going to bed thinking yes let's do this to waking up saying no let's not! Total nightmare. X

 

Yep, me too! Our kids r 10yr & 18yr. OH is a very mature 38 yr old & Im a very immature 46 where abouts will u be living? We're looking at Helensvale & surrounding areas. Can't believe it's happening, what am I doing?

[Kellie23]

Yep, me too! Our kids r 10yr & 18yr. OH is a very mature 38 yr old & Im a very immature 46 where abouts will u be living? We're looking at Helensvale & surrounding areas. Can't believe it's happening, what am I doing?

 

I know it's bloody crazy! I'm 31 and hubby is 32. We won't be far from you as heading to pacific pines. What are we doing! I'm dreading that day when we actually go! Say goodbye how the hell am I going to cope on that flight! Trying to be strong for the kids so it feels good chatting on here to people going through the same experience!

[zk2102]

I'm not saying any goodbyes, just I'll see u soon. My mums already gone out and bought a massive suitcase for when she flys over in January for a few months (I'll be wanting to murder her by the end of it ) Skype will be my new friend. What happens if nobody out there likes me? I'm used to having my support network of 'let's pop round for a cuppa or bottle and laughing of any woes'. We've wanted this move for Sooo long but maybe the looking forward & planning it was the best bit!! Ok, it's all going to be fine.....

[Pumpkin]

You probably can't answer but are we doing the right thing? We exchange on our house tomorrow and should be heading to the Gold Coast in September but my god the doubts are creeping in now! The saying you don't know what you got until it's gone springs to mind! All of a sudden everything we have here means so much more. Having spent time with family and friends lately the thought of not seeing them breaks my heart. Taking the kids away from Grandparents, husband leaving a job he loves, kids are doing well at school (although I don't like the school) I have a huge support network. Giving all that up because we believe we can give the kids a better life in Australia. I'm sure you have heard all this before but with 8 weeks ish to go I'm having a complete panic about it. Any help? Comments? We keep saying let's just try it for a year and see! Kids are 7, 9 and 18 ,months.

 

You don't need to be unhappy and have a rubbish life in the UK to make the move to Australia and for it to be worthwhile.

 

But take care with some of your thinking, the children will have a different life, but there is no guarantee that it will be a better life. They are both first world countries, you are not moving to utopi. And you cannot put a price on the value of extended family, although strangely a lot of people do seem (to me) to underestimate it. I would love a close extended family, I don't really have it because my parents were migrants too.

 

There is a bit of me that thinks you have come this far you might as well give it a go. But I must admit there is a lot of me that thinks what on earth are you doing, your life seems to tick so many boxes but you are about to disrupt that because you think there is something better? You exchange contracts tomorrow, so you could if you wanted pull out and keep the house if things don't work out.

 

I know that is a contrary view, but hopefully you are open to receiving contrary views and not just reinforcement. If not, please feel free to ignore!

[Kellie23]

You don't need to be unhappy and have a rubbish life in the UK to make the move to Australia and for it to be worthwhile.

 

But take care with some of your thinking, the children will have a different life, but there is no guarantee that it will be a better life. They are both first world countries, you are not moving to utopi. And you cannot put a price on the value of extended family, although strangely a lot of people do seem (to me) to underestimate it. I would love a close extended family, I don't really have it because my parents were migrants too.

 

There is a bit of me that thinks you have come this far you might as well give it a go. But I must admit there is a lot of me that thinks what on earth are you doing, your life seems to tick so many boxes but you are about to disrupt that because you think there is something better? You exchange contracts tomorrow, so you could if you wanted pull out and keep the house if things don't work out.

 

I know that is a contrary view, but hopefully you are open to receiving contrary views and not just reinforcement. If not, please feel free to ignore!

 

I totally appreciate your views and experience seen as your parents were migrants. We do keep thinking are we being totally selfish in wanting what we think could be 'a better life' when our lives here are not that bad! Lots of people would love our lives, 4 bed house, kids schools just around the corner, my parents live opposite us and hubby's parents five mins away we are very close and get along really well with our families. We loved Aus when we were there but is it worth all the sacrifice? Don't get me wrong there's plenty that I don't like about this country and the area we live in BUT all of a sudden that all seems trivial. Hope that makes sense. X

[Kellie23]

Question: what do you all think about the schooling in Aus compared with Uk

[zk2102]

Kellie, join the Coomera community page on FB. It covers the Northern end of the GC. It's a great source of info on schools etc. x

[Pumpkin]

Question: what do you all think about the schooling in Aus compared with Uk

 

I think I will take a different approach to that one too as I don't have a recent reference point for the schooling itself. But on the basis that school is there to equip people for the rest of their lives, there is nothing I have seen to suggest that Australians are not just as well equipped for life as Brits.

 

I think the migrant just has to accept that it is a different system and let go of the old one, not constantly compare the two and think about what little one would be doing in UK versus Australia at any particular point in time and then think they are "behind" or "ahead".

[VERYSTORMY]

What you are feeling is normal and experienced by most migrants.

 

I will though just re-iterate what others have already pointed out. Oz won't necessarily give kids a better life. Just a different one. All of the issues that kids face in the UK exist here, some better some worse. Oz has recently been found to have the most in doors kids in the world. Youth unemployment is very high and climbing. Problems in schools about the same - big piece in the newspaper this weekend about it.

 

Just make sure you are moving for the right reasons and are realistic about what Oz can offer. It's not paradise.

[fossda]

We should have a ' who's exchanging house contracts in the next couple of weeks' thread' !! We are also due to exchange tomorrow. Have a job lined up in Upper Mount Gravatt starting in Sept. Looking to fly mid August. The dog is the only one who has a flight booked lol !!

 

Also in a state of massive wobbles here. Laugh one minute and cry the next. Have a good life here - just would like to experience something different.

 

Kids 11 & 8 doing great about it. A few tears as we are leaving our elderly cat with fab neighbours who dote on him. Parents not so good at all. I know we are breaking their hearts and I feel the worst person in the world. Not a good feeling and it's def a downer in the excitement. As a nurse and mother and wife I think I'm always trying to help, make people feel good etc and by migrating I seem to be making everyone feel c**p !! It is nice to know I'm not alone.

 

Would be be great to keep in touch with you all that are going through the same emotions now and are due to arrive and settle around the same place as us.

 

Happy thoughts and best of luck for the exchanges this week. All my fingers and toes are crossed for a painless transaction!

[Skani]

What are we doing! I'm dreading that day when we actually go! Say goodbye how the hell am I going to cope on that flight!

 

Focus on the positives: millions have done that flight before you - and survived.

And you will be only 24 hours away from the UK - not the 6 weeks by ship it was a few decades ago.

[calNgary]

Good luck with the move Kellie, we did exactly what your doing , but 7 years ago, sold the house, packed in jobs, and hopped on a plane. It does play on the heart strings ,but i found that gets better / easier with time.

Does hubby have a job here ?, i notice he is a Diesel Mechanic ,my hubby is the same and works in Ashmore on the God Coast.

 

Cal x

[MARYROSE02]

I thought I'd dig my diary out for 1978, and share my impressions of my first day in Australia on 3rd November.

 

"My 1st impressions of Perth are really good. I like it and I want to stay. I went for a drink in the evening, and the first pub I went in, I was really scared of being called a 'Pommie bastard' but some drunk, but it never happened."

 

Come to think of it, it has still never happened! In 36 years in Australia, apart from 12 years back in the UK, I have NEVER suffered any form of abuse/insults/discrimnation from an Aussie, because I am a Pommie.

 

Contrary to what the Australia haters will tell you, it's easy to get on with Aussies. They do know how to laugh. They do know how to take a joke. They like to banter about the cricket and the Aussie/Pommie relationship.

 

In any case, 'Aussie' does not just mean 'Anglo-Saxon' but any race/colour/creed you can think of. I'm going for a coffee in a minute, and depending on which cafe, the staff will either be Cambodian Australian or Vietnamese Australian, and the convenience store next door is run by Chinese Australian. My accountant is from Bangla Desh. My hairdresser is from Iraq. My dentist is from Macedonia. I was out for a drink with Irish, Argentinian and Norwegian (actually half Icelandic she told me.)

 

One thing that I always hate about the people who obsess with trying to measure the difference in wages and costs by using complicated formulas, is that they are wrong to just judge Australia on a debit/credit spreadsheet. You know, 'I was earning 25 000 GBP and in my Aussie job I will be earning 70 000 AUD, but you have to take into account the fluctuating FX rate, and Aussie supermarkets are 9.757 per cent dearer than UK equivalents.'

 

It's not about debits and credits, profits and losses. Of course, Australia and the UK are very similar countries with similar economies and similar values. Jobs, schools, doctors, hospitals, etc. etc. are very comparable.

 

So what? It's all irrelevant, just so much chaff and BS. You are coming on an adventure. You have made the decision to come to the other side of the world, and not just for a holiday either. You are coming to LIVE here, to build a new life, and you will always be different to people who never dare to do it.

 

I know that I am different! I still want England to beat Australia in The Ashes more than anything in the world, but when I meet Pommies who are here on holiday for the cricket, as opposed to the ones who have moved here permanently, I can tell that I see things differently to them. And I know when I go back to England, that people see me as different too. They call me 'Dingo Dave'. They know I am different.

 

Out of all the Pommies I know who live in Sydney, I only know of two who have gone home for good. Of course, we all have the problems faced with living so far away. Every time I got on a plane to England, or back to OZ, I would meet someone who had flown back for a funeral or an illness. That's life and Australia is a nation of immigrants.

 

So, just think positively and you are going to have a ball, and join the majority of "new chums' who love it in Australia.

 

[TABLE]

[TR=class: tr1]

[TD=class: td1, colspan: 2]new chum [/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD=colspan: 2] [/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: tr2]

[TD=class: td2, colspan: 2]— n [/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: tr3]

[TD=class: td3n1, width: 1%, align: right]1. [/TD]

[TD=class: td3n2]archaic , informal ( Austral ), ( NZ ) a recent British immigrant [/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: tr3]

[TD=class: td3n1, width: 1%, align: right]2. [/TD]

[TD=class: td3n2]( Austral ) a novice in any activity [/TD]

[/TR]

[TR=class: tr3]

[TD=class: td3n1, width: 1%, align: right]3. [/TD]

[TD=class: td3n2]( Austral ) (in the 19th century) a new arrival in a hulk [/TD]

[/TR]

[/TABLE]

[Guest]

I think the wobbles are normal and just about every migrant goes through them. Some people are fine from a few weeks or days before they leave, the moment they get on the plane, others it takes till they arrive in Aus. Some find when they arrive in Aus those wobbles become something more and do not settle into life there, often they may well return to the UK sooner rather than later.

 

While I in a way agree with Quoll's points about career break and trying to keep the kids places at school and so on, I also feel leaving too many things open when you leave means you are perhaps always looking for the exit before you even arrive. And that can often cause you to feel unsettled and make it harder to get past things you might otherwise be able to work through if you were prepared to give yourself more time.

 

Migrating isn't easy. Its all to common to suddenly have the wave of sentimentality hit you in the run up to leaving, to feel overwhelmed by what it all entails and the big realisation of what you are doing sinks in. Well, often hits like a sledgehammer. Until that point, often non of it can actually seem quite real but once it is all happening and things are getting closer and there is the end in sight, yeah, it can hit hard.

 

I think what matters is how you yourself (and your OH) choose to handle these feelings and if you can work through them logically and perhaps in a way be a little more detached from all the emotion. Otherwise it can take over and eat away at you.

 

Even me, well used to living overseas and not seeing my loved ones for long periods of time, even I had a few minor wobbles in the few weeks before we left. My son's last day at his school was hard but once we were home and busy doing stuff I was able to close the door on it and get on with other things. Same with saying bye to my parents. We went down for a day, had lunch, lovely afternoon together all of us and then was the moment to leave. None of us got too teary or let ourselves get weepy and fall apart in front of each other. We of course had an extra long hug but then we said we'd be calling asap in a few days once we had arrived. We didn't let it become more of a thing than it needed to be. And once we were in the car and 5 minutes down the road I felt a lot better, dried my eyes and looked forward not back IYKWIM.

 

Keep in mind also that once you arrive in Aus, give yourself time to acclimatise, to get over jet lag, to realise you are experiencing culture shock (yes, it does happen) and that while those things happen and can seem disconcerting, upsetting or exhausting, you need to give yourself a bit of a break and allow yourself time to find a way through it all. To see if things start falling in to place, start making more sense. It won't all happen in a week, a month or even 6 months for some stuff. I've been here 9 months or so now (after a few long trips in the past) and I still find myself dealing with new situations or things I wasn't accustomed to in the UK but that are the norm here, it can still seem strange but I realise its not the UK, its its own country and I put the effort in to getting to grips with the things. And most importanly for me, I'm happy here, settled well and its been a good move for us. But its not been without arguments, upset and some tears along the way. Yes I miss my parents but its not an overwhelming pressing missing them feeling or a constant one. We are happy with our chats, emails and so on. I miss a few friends but again, I cope with this. Perhaps better than others. I'm a bit selfish in that respect but I agree with Quoll (who has said this before elsewhere and perhaps in this thread), I think you do need to be a bit selfish in many ways to make migrating succesful. Its about looking forward, not back and working through the tough times rather than running for the hills when they hit.

 

Of course, there is perhaps only so long you can flog that horse so to speak and if after however long you give yourselves it really isn't working for whatever reason (homesick, no work or some such) then of course you will consider if its better to return to the UK. So all of the above may be irrelevant. And you may find once you are here you truly don't like Australia (well, your part of it) and that it really isn't for you and you'll be on a flight to the UK within months. There is nothing wrong with this IMHO. It happens to some people. But it works for many others and they are happy to remain and settle in Aus.

 

Good luck with it all