manchester lass Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Hi everyone I just wondered if anyone knew the answer to my question or could point me in the right direction. Would my mum and dad be able to emigrate with us? My dad has dementia and mum mum is his carer. its not really bad at the moment he's just a little forgetful thats all. I want to know before I ask my mum and dad if they wants to come with us as I want them to come and live with us so I can help to look after him too. Would anyoone be able to tell me the process if what I would need to do? I am getting the wobbles about going and leaving them now :-( I want to ask them if they will come with me but want to make sure I can answer as many questions that they may have thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Even putting aside the dementia this would be quite challenging and very expensive - you can find details of the different parent visas available here: https://www.immi.gov.au/migrants/family/family-visas-parent.htm There is an on-going thread about parental visas on here where you will find useful information I'm sure http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/migration-issues/77756-brand-new-pio-parents-visa-thread.html This website looks useful too (& recommends PIO ) http://www.gainwave.co.uk/cpv/ As these are contributory visas I don't think the dementia would necessarily prevent a visa being granted None of my business but I would be taking medical advice on whether this is the best option for your dad anyway - my understanding of dementia (which I'll admit is very limited) is a massive change like this could be quite detrimental. I totally understand you are coming at this from the position of a loving and caring daughter, and I am really trying to persuade my parents to move to Scotland so I can be more hands-on in caring for them so I really do understand but received wisdom is that parents should not up and move to their children. What if it turns out you hate Australia and they have spent $100K getting there? It may seem unlikely now but people do. I think you have to have been a permanent resident before you can sponsor your parents anyway so i guess you would have a fair idea by then - it took us 4 years before we wanted to move back though, my parents were part of the reason though. I'm an only child and I'm assuming you are? Otherwise they would have to pass the 'balance of family' test too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 You have to have been settled in Australia as permanent residents for two years before you can even begin to apply. Rules for parent visas have been changing and unless you have mega money it is unlikely to be an option, even with dementia. Chances are it will get worse in that time too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 The regular parent visas have been phased out; only the super-expensive contributory parent visas still exist. In order to be eligible, your sponsor must be an established permanent resident who has lived lawfully in Australia for two years. The health requirement must still be met. That basically looks at the likely costs to the community of a medical condition over the next five years. Dementia is likely to have high costs as it can require residential care. Even if your family would make its own arrangements for care, the costs would be calculated on averaging those families who provide their own care with those that don't. There may also be issues if the primary care-giver is an older person who may not be able to continue to give care indefinitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 You really need to talk to an agent who specializes in medical conditions but, looking at the services my mum (with dementia) accesses you'd probably be looking close to the threshold beyond which a visa would be rejected (assuming you can afford it) however I'm not the expert, they are and they will give you a reliable opinion. Peter Bollard and George Lombard are the two most usually recommended in this regard. From a clinical point of view, it may well be that removing someone with dementia to a foreign country where they have no memories to cling to could be seriously detrimental - similarly, if your mum is the carer, sure, you might be there for her but as an older person she will have had to give up all that she has established over a lifetime and will lose all her social connections and potentially be very isolated (and impoverished, given the freezing of UK pension once they leave UK). Do they actually want to leave all that is familiar to them? Older people often don't! However, don't let that stop you from doing what you need to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Outoftheblue Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Quoll - are you in the UK? I thought u were in Oz? I've worked with people with dementia for a number of years. Can I just say I think you are amazing for wanting them to come with you, that's not something many people nowadays would want yo take on. Sadly I don't gave an answer for you as to wether it's possible. I don't want to upset you either but wanted to tell you my experience personal and professional of dementia its devastating, not only for those that suffer it but for their families and friends too early on people manage fairly ok, but the condition can be progressed by any big changes, especially a house move, even people moving from their own home into a residential setting they've been familiar with can rapidly progress the dementia in a lot of cases. Over time it often seems recent memories start to be erased, though dementia can affect people differently I knew one lady who thought she was 10 and would call for her mum. Common colds and UTI's can severely affect dementia sufferers. But I also agree with Quoll I think you all need to do whatever you need to do, there is no guarantees so in two years your dad may not have progressed too much ? Certaunly lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Quoll - are you in the UK? I thought u were in Oz? I've worked with people with dementia for a number of years. Can I just say I think you are amazing for wanting them to come with you, that's not something many people nowadays would want yo take on. Sadly I don't gave an answer for you as to wether it's possible. I don't want to upset you either but wanted to tell you my experience personal and professional of dementia its devastating, not only for those that suffer it but for their families and friends too early on people manage fairly ok, but the condition can be progressed by any big changes, especially a house move, even people moving from their own home into a residential setting they've been familiar with can rapidly progress the dementia in a lot of cases. Over time it often seems recent memories start to be erased, though dementia can affect people differently I knew one lady who thought she was 10 and would call for her mum. Common colds and UTI's can severely affect dementia sufferers. But I also agree with Quoll I think you all need to do whatever you need to do, there is no guarantees so in two years your dad may not have progressed too much ? Certaunly lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter best wishes I was in Aus (32 yrs 8 months and 3 days!) but came to UK for a holiday nearly 3 yrs ago and didn't return when the wheels fell off my parental wagon. One heart attack and 2 strokes between them within a 6 week period, fortunately while we were here on holiday and now galloping dementia with mum. No, caring for her is not easy and on bad days I'd almost be prepared to live in Aus by preference (and that is saying a lot!!!!!!!) but they're in their own home with their own stuff around them - and for mum that has been the most important thing, she gets very anxious if we so much as throw out a catalogue (although we have quietly dealt with that over the years!). Some days I wish I had siblings to share the load but I don't, so we (my fabulous, amazing DH and I) do it all. I would never have dreamed of staying in Aus given their situation, even had I loved it but each to their own - if I'd had siblings, I don't know. I will say, though that my parents never expected it of us and never asked but when we offered, my dad almost broke down in tears with the relief of being able to share the burden of my mum who, at that time, just had mobility issues. I would never ever have expected them to move to Aus - they used to come for 6 months every year and could have stayed had they wanted but, at 80, they decided on their home turf and it's been a good decision for them. This is just another instance where migrants really have to show the survival skills of selfishness and self sufficiency and do what is right for them. Growing old is not for pussies they say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Outoftheblue Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I was in Aus (32 yrs 8 months and 3 days!) but came to UK for a holiday nearly 3 yrs ago and didn't return when the wheels fell off my parental wagon. One heart attack and 2 strokes between them within a 6 week period, fortunately while we were here on holiday and now galloping dementia with mum. No, caring for her is not easy and on bad days I'd almost be prepared to live in Aus by preference (and that is saying a lot!!!!!!!) but they're in their own home with their own stuff around them - and for mum that has been the most important thing, she gets very anxious if we so much as throw out a catalogue (although we have quietly dealt with that over the years!). Some days I wish I had siblings to share the load but I don't, so we (my fabulous, amazing DH and I) do it all. I would never have dreamed of staying in Aus given their situation, even had I loved it but each to their own - if I'd had siblings, I don't know. I will say, though that my parents never expected it of us and never asked but when we offered, my dad almost broke down in tears with the relief of being able to share the burden of my mum who, at that time, just had mobility issues. I would never ever have expected them to move to Aus - they used to come for 6 months every year and could have stayed had they wanted but, at 80, they decided on their home turf and it's been a good decision for them. This is just another instance where migrants really have to show the survival skills of selfishness and self sufficiency and do what is right for them. Growing old is not for pussies they say! Wow I've been away that long, must have been an awful time when you were sorting your things out and your parents I'll health I have a very difficult relationship with my mum since my step dad passed away in December 3 weeks after suffering a severe stroke and for 3 years before that with my dad since he re-married and for the most part we don't exist to them, he does see the kids every few weeks but used to see them at least 3 times a week every week! Hubby's parents have been gradually reducing all human contract since his brother died 4 yrs ago. Its tough - I don't want to leave them with no one but only my step dad seemed to truly care, was there when I. Had to have heart surgery, was really my rock and there for my hubby an kids. I do have a brother tho so he'd have to make more of an effort with mum. Strokes are just devastating and cruel, I'd never seen him cry, and the way he was treated in hospital was disgraceful, he was so depressed. Heart breaking just heart breaking, so glad your happy to be back tho Quoll that's all that matters isn't it. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manchester lass Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Hi everyone sorry for the late reply I have been working shifts. thank you all for the information you have given me. I have planted the seed and my mum said 'don;t ask me again I might take you up on the idea' which got me excited.my dad is really good at the moment, he is just forgetful. He does like his routines though like taking the dogs to the park at certain times of day. He doesn't like crowds and likes his own space so i can totally relate to where you are all coming from. I was just thinking that whilst he is good maybe this would be the best time to go so he can create some more memories? I totally understand though that their whole life is here and I would hate anyone to think I am being selfish by taking him away from what he knows, I just want to look after him and also look after my mum. I have seen people with dementia i used to care for people who had it when I was a health care assistant so I am prepared (well as prepared as I can be). This has been our families dream for many years to move to oz and i would hate to take it away from everyone. I will speak to them and explain the two year thing, maybe bring them over for a few months to they can check it out and see what they think and then take it from there? I would save and save and save if it meant i would get them with me. We would just have to revisit the situation if the time comes I couldn't bear not being here for them. again thank you so much for all your advise, this is such an amazing site, you are all fab xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Your parents should be able to get a tourist visa that would enable them to stay up to 12 months so they could certainly have a significant visit before making a final decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I would hate anyone to think I am being selfish by taking him away from what he knows I know you're not doing it deliberately but sadly, it would be very selfish to take him away from what he knows. It's a really bad idea to relocate someone with dementia - even if he's in the early stages. He will have difficulty learning anything new - which means he'll struggle to learn his way around a new neighbourhood or make new friends, so he could end up stuck in the house alone. He may even be worse than you think - it's only the fact that he's in familiar surroundings and in familiar routines that are keeping him going. You won't even be able to apply until you've been in Australia for two years and by then, he is going to be worse. Besides, as others have said, it's very unlikely you'll be able to get him into Australia anyway. The government looks at whether a person will be a burden on the health system. There are cases all the time, including a doctor who got turned down for migration recently because he has a disabled daughter - even though he was going to a country hospital which was desperate for his services, he had private health insurance and plenty of assets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I know you're not doing it deliberately but sadly, it would be very selfish to take him away from what he knows. It's a really bad idea to relocate someone with dementia - even if he's in the early stages. He will have difficulty learning anything new - which means he'll struggle to learn his way around a new neighbourhood or make new friends, so he could end up stuck in the house alone. He may even be worse than you think - it's only the fact that he's in familiar surroundings and in familiar routines that are keeping him going. You won't even be able to apply until you've been in Australia for two years and by then, he is going to be worse. Besides, as others have said, it's very unlikely you'll be able to get him into Australia anyway. The government looks at whether a person will be a burden on the health system. There are cases all the time, including a doctor who got turned down for migration recently because he has a disabled daughter - even though he was going to a country hospital which was desperate for his services, he had private health insurance and plenty of assets. Absolutely spot on! Even if they are very wealthy and can afford a lot of the services they will take for granted for free in UK, I actually think it would be quite cruel TBH. However, at least you have a sister, OP, she will just have to step up! A holiday would, of course, be a possibility but the anxiety of a disruption to his routine could be quite detrimental too - I've been quite surprised at the impact of changes to routine with both of my parents - and dad doesn't have dementia!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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