Quoll Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I think if your son is happy here you should stay. After all you're not sure either way so why make the move. The last thing I would be using as a judgment call is whether or not a 3 year old is happy (3 year olds are always happy!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 The last thing I would be using as a judgment call is whether or not a 3 year old is happy (3 year olds are always happy!) I was going to say the same thing. With young children your primary concern is their needs not their wants anyway. Children are happier if their parents are happier. Its a big call and it sounds like the scales are weighted towards Scotland. I think there is no wrong decision so you should both go with your gut feel. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I would tend to agree with a 3 year old....and I would have never taken into account the protests of my then 5 year old to moving to Australia but he held onto those objections, mourned the loss of his best friend...and never embraced Aussie life. I know people will think it is because we didn't but that is very untrue, in fact we went through a very typical honeymoon period - check my posts from 2008-2010 if you don't believe me It was only our son that was unhappy, in the end it helped our decision to move back but wasn't the reason. @Motorhead your son will certainly have just as good life in Scotland, if anything better because life doesn't revolve around the beach/BBQ's and whilst pretty much the same things are available in both countries I find children do so much more here - maybe the weather forces you to plan activities and be organised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazzagirl Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Where exactly would you be looking at buying in Brisbane Motorhead and what is your budget? It sounds to me as though the housing situation is the more pressing issue here, perhaps others could offer you advice on up and coming areas etc? we are looking at moving to Brisbane next year and while I appreciate that houses there are expensive it does seem that it is still do'able, I've looked at a few different suburbs like North Lakes and around Manly Indooroopilly and there seems to be a mix of housing costs. Where do you work and how far from the beach are you happy to be etc? I love Scotland also, it is beautiful but it is not the most forgiving country to live in weather wise as you get older and job prospects for children in the future are somewhat limited? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 You can build your own house, to your own specs. Why don't you self build how you want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I love Scotland also, it is beautiful but it is not the most forgiving country to live in weather wise as you get older and job prospects for children in the future are somewhat limited? One of our pull factors back to Scotland was the greater opportunities in Scotland for our son compared to Perth which I found very limited, my own personal experience was my career went from strength to strength because I was a big fish in a small pond. Youngsters starting out aren't going to get the experience to be big fish - unless it's in resources or construction where I'd agree there is much more opportunity. Brisbane might be different but I don't get the feeling from people on here that it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Try writing down all the pros and cons as seeing them in writing is a lot easier to process and weigh up than just voicing them or thinking about them continually; have a full on in depth discussion with your partner (no yelling if you can help it) about staying/leaving and her pros/cons and if need be take the time to go see a family counsellor as he/she may be able to help given they are an independent third party (or even if they just get you to focus on one or two prime areas for leaving/staying it would be beneficial). As nice as Scotland is this time of year, just remember it is not always like that. The weather in England/Scotland/Wales this year has been horrid (cold, wet, SNOWY!) and is predicted to be similar in the coming years. What's the weather been like where you are and how much does that play into yours and your family's lifestyle? Can you all do what you want in any country in the world or is it specific to one? I always think no matter their age if you have kids then they should form a large part of your decision making process as well - what is best for them and what opportunities could/would they have in your country of choice? Doesnt necessarily mean your 3 year old should have the deciding vote, but it should be a move your whole family wants to make or could live with if you are the deciding vote and take your family back home. The wage you earn is good (one thing I dont like about Aus wages is they give you the package figure and not wage + super separately so you always think you are earning more than you actually are - confusing) and even though Australia is expensive at the moment, you are still able to live well. But if you want to save more, perhaps try scaling back on a few things that you like/want but dont really NEED - I know you are used to a certain way of life but as a lot of people experience when moving abroad a few things have to give and be scaled back for a few years until you can get settled again. You cannot automatically expect your old lifestyle to transfer to your new life - there are so many things that you have to start over with and extra expenses that come about that werent there before and will have an impact. It will be hard but a few years of tightening the belt may result in a much better longer term lifestyle for you all. If the housing is what is getting you down, have you considered moving states? Or if you dont want anything so drastic then perhaps engage the services of a property agent and see if they can help you find a house more suitable to your income (without being too extravagant or stretching your income to its very ends). Rent or buy, either way a large chunk of your income goes towards the house so try to find one that you can live with for a few years even if it isnt as lavish as you would like. If you can survive in it nice enough then it is enough for now - you can always upgrade further down the line if you decide to stay. If all of your financial worries were sorted could you be happy in Australia? Would you still want to stay and raise your kids here or would there be a part of you that just wants to return home to Scotland? If all your other worries were to go away and you were still not happy in Australia then perhaps there are other issues at work that you need to think about and try to sort out. I am not sure how much all this well help but just thought I would put it out there and hope maybe something will resonate or cause you to think twice in your momentous decision (I certainly dont envy you having to make it - good luck and all the best for whatever decision you do make). Just remember though that no matter the decision you make - stay or leave - you are going to have thoughts about "what if" or "we should have", its just the way we work. It doesnt make you a failure if you return to Scotland just as it doesnt make you a failure to stay in Australia and live paycheck to paycheck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Nice post Amdaloia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I have just read the thread from the beginning and feel it is a shame you ever mentioned the salary level as people earning less cannot get their head around it and feel it is their place to tell you what you should find a comfortable salary level. I wouldn't dream of telling someone on $50k that this is not enough and they should be very unhappy about that, but there you go, it is ok the other way arôund. I was wondering about moving to Brisbane recently and I agree there is no way that $180k salary would get a good house in a good central location or on the river, not without a 50% deposit or something anyway. But what I really came on the thread for was to suggest that you take salary comparisons out of the decision making process. Salaries are transient, you could lose either job at any time. Look at the bigger picture, your happiness and your future. Your boy will adapt, boys are living happily in both first world countries, this is about you and your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Sensible post amdaloia. I think many posters do have their rose tinted glasses when thinking of back home. I went up to Scotland and got beaten up by the weather. I always found I was looking forward to things living in England, be it the summer or the next overseas vacation. Funnily enough I found myself living in the present much more in Australia. I think that's just because there was more for me to do and I had the opportunity to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silencio Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I totally agree with Rupert. Most couples earn less than you alone, let's say exclude the 1 in front of your salary and even more than that for families, that's the reality in Australia and I guess in most Western countries. I would stay 2 years if I were you in order to get a 5 year's RRV just in case. The 'settlement feeling' usually kicks in after 2 or 3 years. Don't rush into hasty decisions, there must have been a reason coming here and leaving Scotland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Yeah I agree with silencio, don't rush into anything. As far as opportunities are concerned are you sure about Perth? There's always opportunities for those looking for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanbear Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Depends which school- there are more here and they vary a lot. I think they are worth it because the state high school level education isn't that good in many areas. They never seem to sack the poor teachers but the private schools do. Not in my experience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Its so annoying as we have wasted so much time here looking at crap houses and worrying about the whole thing. As I said at the beginning ….AAAAGGGRRRRGGHHH!!!!!! Totally get you. We are considering going back to england, and as job offers go for us its pretty much £ for $ so thats not an issue. I too have children, 2 and 4 and the 4 year old says he doesnt want to go because he "likes the sun" something i think hes heard us say in our initial days here. You cant really compare the 2 countries, both very different, neither are better, just different. When we sat down to compare 'going home' it all came down to giving up the weather to gain family (no brainer)........and thats as black and white as it was/is for us. Whatever you do I wish you the best. Kids are happy in any situation as long as they have parents and toys, an happy parents at that too! Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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