Homesick and scared to death about making wrong decision

[Sassy Duck]

Perth is a town for those who like the "slow" life and it certainly delivers that in spades.

 

When you get off the plane, you've pretty much entered "early retirement" .

 

If you say so :daydreaming: This sort of post is why threads turn into uk vs oz. You didn't like it...move on.

[Patphillips47]

Every one goes home for different reasons and really shouldn't be made to feel bad because they voice those reasons

I often think though it's how they get voiced ie is Perth ,Adelaide or where ever really such a bad pace because the migrants going home didn't like it or didn't settle

I still say emigrating is one of the hardest things in the world to decide on and it's exactly the same returning home

Always wondering What if Thing is to me if your so unhappy in Oz then go home and try life's too short to be miserable

[Sassy Duck]

Every one goes home for different reasons and really shouldn't be made to feel bad because they voice those reasons

I often think though it's how they get voiced ie is Perth ,Adelaide or where ever really such a bad pace because the migrants going home didn't like it or didn't settle

I still say emigrating is one of the hardest things in the world to decide on and it's exactly the same returning home

Always wondering What if Thing is to me if your so unhappy in Oz then go home and try life's too short to be miserable

 

I agree with you and yes they will voice their reasons but what I don't understand is the need to run down a place because you couldn't settle. We're all different and I've said on my previous posts...you need to do what makes you happy and I would never stay somewhere that made me unhappy. I think a lot of people don't realise the implications of emigrating. If you have a close family, love the pubs, shops and the uk climate etc etc. then you are probably going to struggle big time.

[tea4too]

Every one goes home for different reasons and really shouldn't be made to feel bad because they voice those reasons

I often think though it's how they get voiced ie is Perth ,Adelaide or where ever really such a bad pace because the migrants going home didn't like it or didn't settle

I still say emigrating is one of the hardest things in the world to decide on and it's exactly the same returning home

Always wondering What if Thing is to me if your so unhappy in Oz then go home and try life's too short to be miserable

 

I agree with much of what you say Pat, and if people are happy in Aus the chances are they won’t share many (or any) of the negative views we read in this section of the forum. I think most people get that, and it’s not an issue as most of PIO is about settling in Aus, finding a lifestyle that suits individuals and families.

 

However MBTTUK is, by definition, the main place people leaving Aus will post about the issues they are dealing with, and it is bound to include a number of disillusioned people. Apart from the few usual suspects, most posters in MBTTUK are not posting their thoughts and opinions to burst anyone else’s bubble. They are telling it as they see it, and often looking for a kindred spirit to reassure themselves they are not alone in their thinking. Asking people to simply accept things didn’t work out for them and move on is not the way to go though imo. How else will people find the support they maybe need or are looking for? How else will people researching their own move find out about the issues that drive some people back to the UK?

 

With up to a third of migrants pingponging, there’s every chance a disillusioned post in MBTTUK will resonate with a number of PIO members or lurkers, and for that reason alone I don’t think it’s helpful if people feel they cannot post their personal views without it turning into an Aus v UK argument. T x

Edited March 18, 2016 by tea4too

[Sassy Duck]

I agree with much of what you say Pat, and if people are happy in Aus the chances are they won’t share many (or any) of the negative views we read in this section of the forum. I think most people get that, and it’s not an issue as most of PIO is about settling in Aus, finding a lifestyle that suits individuals and families.

 

However MBTTUK is, by definition, the main place people leaving Aus will post about the issues they are dealing with, and it is bound to include a number of disillusioned people. Apart from the few usual suspects, most posters in MBTTUK are not posting their thoughts and opinions to burst anyone else’s bubble. They are telling it as they see it, and often looking for a kindred spirit to reassure themselves they are not alone in their thinking. Asking people to simply accept things didn’t work out for them and move on is not the way to go though imo. How else will people find the support they maybe need or are looking for? How else will people researching their own move find out about the issues that drive some people back to the UK?

 

With up to a third of migrants pingponging, there’s every chance a disillusioned post in MBTTUK will resonate with a number of PIO members or lurkers, and for that reason alone I don’t think it’s helpful if people feel they cannot post their personal views without it turning into an Aus v UK argument. T x

 

I agree with a lot you are saying but....certain posters banging on about Perth being a boring place & set up for retirement doesn't bode well, the same as if someone posted about the uk being full of immigrants and always raining. I totally get people post on here with their issues with oz and are looking for support, it's certainly not the utopia they thought it was and that fine, but why are people delusional? Yes people that are settled back in the uk will add their support and that's what they're looking for, but I just don't see the need to bag Australia after they have left, they do need to move on for their own sanity surely? Did the same people moan about the uk and all its problems before they moved to oz...probably!

[tea4too]

I agree with a lot you are saying but....certain posters banging on about Perth being a boring place & set up for retirement doesn't bode well, the same as if someone posted about the uk being full of immigrants and always raining. I totally get people post on here with their issues with oz and are looking for support, it's certainly not the utopia they thought it was and that fine, but why are people delusional? Yes people that are settled back in the uk will add their support and that's what they're looking for, but I just don't see the need to bag Australia after they have left, they do need to move on for their own sanity surely? Did the same people moan about the uk and all its problems before they moved to oz...probably!

 

Why does it matter if people write that they find Perth boring? It doesn’t mean the place is boring, nor does keeping negative opinions to yourself make it a great place to live. It’s just people’s take on things and because we are all different we will see things differently.

 

It’s probably inevitable that a section dedicated to leaving Aus will contain some negative opinions about people’s experiences while living there, but threads dissolving into an Aus v UK battle is at best irritating and at worst unhelpful…..just my thoughts. T x

[bristolman]

Why does it matter if people write that they find Perth boring? It doesn’t mean the place is boring, nor does keeping negative opinions to yourself make it a great place to live. It’s just people’s take on things and because we are all different we will see things differently.

 

It’s probably inevitable that a section dedicated to leaving Aus will contain some negative opinions about people’s experiences while living there, but threads dissolving into an Aus v UK battle is at best irritating and at worst unhelpful…..just my thoughts. T x

 

Absolutely right, it's no different to someone saying the UK is boring or the weather doesn't allow you to do anything outside etc. It's totally untrue but it doesn't stop those on the other 'side' saying it. The name of this section is the giveaway, it is for those who have returned , about to run or just thinking about it.

[Johnny]

Apart from the few usual suspects, most posters in MBTTUK are not posting their thoughts and opinions to burst anyone else’s bubble.

 

If someone is reading and posting on the MBTTUK forum, I would say their bubble has likely been well and truly "burst" for a while.

[Rachel Tilley]

It's human nature to blame whatever is making you unhappy unhappy! So if people are unhappy living in Australia then they are going to blame the particular place they live for their unhappiness - I know I did to start with. The OP has stated she is homesick, so if this is the main cause of her unhappiness then no matter what city or state of Oz she lives in she will probably be unhappy there. The other reason she is struggling is because she doesn't have as much family time as she'd hoped to have as her husband works long hours. To be honest, if you are homesick and not getting enough quality family time then it doesn't matter where in the world you are living, you are unlikely to feel fulfilled with life and wish to return to the place where you were happier and had better times.

 

Likewise, if you can't find a job in the city you're living in and you can't sustain a standard of living you've been used to then you're also likely to be unhappy, and as the unhappiness is linked to the town/city you are in you are unlikely to like that place. Whether you like somewhere or not, or think it's exciting or boring all comes down to the state of mind it gives you from the experiences you have had. Clearly, these are individual and unique to everyone. For the people who have migrated to Australia and CANNOT find that happiness for whatever reason then they are likely to contemplate a return to the UK and look for help/guidance/support/understanding on this section of the forum. For the people who have migrated to Australia and HAVE found they are totally content there and their lives have even improved they may not have the same empathy for someone who isn't happy in Oz.

 

I now have some very happy memories of Adelaide and certainly do not slag off Australia even though much of my time there was pretty awful. If I had to live in Australia again I would happily return to Adelaide and not even consider another city or state - yet some people find Adelaide extremely dull! However, I have a better standard of living and a better quality of life where I currently live in England, although I must admit there are some places in England that I'd hate to live and would rather return to Australia than live there!!

 

As I've said before, one of my favourite quotes is:

 

It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have. It's who you have beside you.

If the OP doesn't have her family and support network beside her, well... refer to the above quote!

[speakeasy]

Well. If my relationship breaks up is it ok to hate all men?

 

 

When we invest ourselves heavily in something there is more likelihood of us resenting it if it fails to meet our expectations. It's called disappointment.

 

You haven't invested yourself in your homeland.. you were just born there and became what it made you. No effort required really.

[sammyjoe]

Hi,

 

It sounds to me like you already have your answer and you should go with your gut instinct. We came back this Christmas after 3 1/2 years in Adelaide, where we loved it and made some great friends. But last year my fixed term contract position came to an end and I tried to transition into the legal profession over there (which is what I am actually qualified to do) and found that the job situation was even worse there than during the recession in the UK. I got so fed up of not being able to get even low level admin work, because I 'wasn't Australian' or because I was 'over qualified', that I decided to retrain as a Forensic Psychologist. Doing my training back in the UK was a no brainer because not only is it about $50k cheaper it also 2 years quicker, because more of my pre-existing qualifications are recognised. However, this did leave us questioning, had we failed at the Australian dream?

 

I tell you one thing, since coming back and having watched some of the programmes on UK TV depicting a fake reality of what like in Australia, it has made me sightly angry. I frequently get asked why did we come back, are we crazy? And I point out that reality and what they see on TV are two different things.

 

1. My career went several steps backwards in Australia.

2. We worked as many hours in Australia as we did in the UK.

3. Our lifestyle was very similar, although we went on less holidays in Australia because all our spare cash went on visas!

4. No we didn't live anywhere near the beach or have a pool, so those 47 degree days that frequently came during summer were no fun at all.

5. Winter was blipping cold and we both were always full of viral infections in Winter. Yet funnily enough we have survived our first UK winter in years and loved it compared to Winter in Australia, plus neither of us has been ill.

6. We hope to start a family this year and the prospect of paying out $10k every time we wanted to bring ourselves and two kids back was not a thought we relished.

 

So it sounds like you have a lot of the same reasons for wanting to move back that we have had. I think the truth of the matter is, that the Aussie dream life no longer exists and the recession is starting to catch up with Australia. I can also tell you that since coming back, yes we have hit some obstacles, such as not being eligible for any store credit for large furniture items or cars, but we have found it easier to find work and my husband after being on an annually renewed contract in Australia, after 6 weeks in his new job in the UK, not only was made permanent , but was also promoted.

 

So just know that you are not alone in knowing whether it is the right thing to do or not, but it certainly sounds like you are stuck in the kind of limbo that we were in Australia. And life isn't perfect back in the UK, but we have family and friends around and we don't have that citizenship barrier being thrown in our faces.