First time mum but already a pingpongpom!! Am I crazy?

[Petals]

Oh my, I'm sorry to say this and mean no offence but reading this had me and my husband in fits of laughter...not at your poor mother but because we both fear that is our fate!!!! I do not want that for my family, but the more I think about it the more I realise that our moving tendencies are are not new to Australia but something we have always done! Thankfully we only rent but we've only ever stayed in property over a year once and that was back in 2008! We have broken 2 lease's to move early!

 

I shouldn't laugh as this is a serious matter but I do pray that we will have settled by the time my little baby starts school! We will have to, I'd love to just live in one place and be happy! I hate when I move into a new house and I do everything to put our stamp on it but it's always int he back of my mind that in our next place.......!

 

Yep its funny and I have not even told you of our time from birth to leaving UK and then Africa well that was go and then there was New Zealand ha ha. Unbelievable, my oh used to say Dad gets the garden looking good plants the fruit trees and just as they are to have first fruit he moves. As I said my Mum would move countries and places if she could organise it herself. One time my brother told the estate agent not to take any notice if my mum came in wanting to sell her unit lol

[nic1171]

Oh my, I'm sorry to say this and mean no offence but reading this had me and my husband in fits of laughter...not at your poor mother but because we both fear that is our fate!!!! I do not want that for my family, but the more I think about it the more I realise that our moving tendencies are are not new to Australia but something we have always done! Thankfully we only rent but we've only ever stayed in property over a year once and that was back in 2008! We have broken 2 lease's to move early!

 

I shouldn't laugh as this is a serious matter but I do pray that we will have settled by the time my little baby starts school! We will have to, I'd love to just live in one place and be happy! I hate when I move into a new house and I do everything to put our stamp on it but it's always int he back of my mind that in our next place.......!

 

think this his says it all! If I were you I would buy a caravan and travel!

[Dragonflygecko]

Woah, this is a hard one and I think you have to go with your gut instinct. Especially with a small child, if you think that you could both secure jobs back in the UK and will lead a happy life around family and friends then go for it. If you decide you have made a huge mistake then plan to return to Oz when your children are grown up. Although thinking...you when back to the UK and now regret going back to Oz I think you know what your decision should be. I am in a bit of a pickle aswell.

I went to Australia in 2009 on a WHV did the fruit picking and obtained a second year visa whilst on that visa I met my OH. We travelled back to Ireland in end of 2010 as his visa was out 6 months before mine and I was quite happy to stay there. 17 months passed and we got the itch and decided to travel Asia and move to NZ and try and obtain PR. Lived in NZ 10 months and at first I loved it but my OH was not happy and hated it, his qualifications basically meant nothing and he was working for minimum wage so understandable and I also started to regret the move also. we just expected it to be similar to Australia and it did not live up to our expectations. We decided to return to our side of the world and come to London. We have been here six months and my OH is totally unhappy with his work and life in the UK and has enrolled on a plastering course to be add to his plastering experience able to apply for skilled migration in about 18 months time. However, I love my job, the people I work with and am 90% likely to be promoted within 12 months to Nursery Manager which will give me a much better salary too! I know London standards are high and we are not likely to get good value for our money property wise. A 2 bed flat at the moment is about as much as we could buy but my OH is comparing to Australia where we could potentially buy a 4 bed house for the same price.

 

I am starting to think that my OH will possibly never be happy with a place and be a pingpongpom. :arghh:AHHHHHHHHH!

[Guest Guest 47403]

When you say your priorities have changed what do you mean? We are currently going through the process of getting our visas to move from uk to oz and our main reason being for a better life for our children. We live in kent so obviously different areas of the uk may be better but here we are fed up of it being overcrowded, fed up of the education system, fed up of the nhs and fed up of not being able to have the outdoor lifestyle with the kids as much as we would like. If it was just me and HB we could stay here and put up with it but when we think of the kids life's and how much England has changed in our life's (not for the better) it bothers us what it could be like when they grow up. We have a very close relationship with grandparents so that of course will be the hardest thing to do in taking the kids away but they agree with our reasons. Just think closely about what you want got your child/ren. Hope this helps. Good luck with what ever you decide xxx

 

The thing is kellie as you've already found out with the anti Oz vultures like Quoll, Melza and Bumbery61 you can't post about a better life for the kids without them trying to destroy your dreams ignore them just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it won't for you!

[Flathead]

The thing is kellie as you've already found out with the anti Oz vultures like Quoll, Melza and Bumbery61 you can't post about a better life for the kids without them trying to destroy your dreams ignore them just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it won't for you!

At leat they have actually lived there.....so probably able to advise better than someone who has not

[Guest Guest 47403]

At leat they have actually lived there.....so probably able to advise better than someone who has not

 

I've lived in the northern Afghanistan border areas but probably not he best person to ask regarding the best suburbs flathead!!!! :rolleyes::laugh:

[Flathead]

I've lived in the northern Afghanistan border areas but probably not he best person to ask regarding the best suburbs flathead!!!! :rolleyes::laugh:

Well I suppose they are similar to much of Australia

[Guest Guest 47403]

Well I suppose they are similar to much of Australia

 

 

:laugh::laugh: yes guess so!

[Kapri]

OP

if you can afford to go back to the UK then do it! I think you need to see if life will be better with family around.

 

 

To those who say the weather is just as restricting in Australia. I totally disagree. I love the sunshine here, it's one of the main reasons I moved and we are out every weekend.

 

We didn't let the weather restrict us too much in the UK - we loved getting out even in winter. But it often involved getting very wrapped up and I could often only stand the cold for an hour tops.

 

Education - the OECD says that overall, education is slightly better in Australia. Of course, it will depend on individual schools though.

My daughter went to an excellent school in the UK.

 

Health. I am a huge advocate of the NHS but I don't like what's happening to it.

As a nurse therapist, I was under huge pressure in the UK with too many people on my caseload. I was very ill earlier this year and was admitted to hospital following an emergency op. Once I was moved out of high dependency, I was on a ward where one newly qualified nurse and a nursing assistant looked after 20 people. I was left lying in my own bodily fluids for 3.5 hours. It wasn't the nurses fault, she was run off her feet.

My daughter had eczema that was so bad she couldn't open her mouth but my GP wouldn't refer to a dermatologist as they were only seeing skin cancer patients. Here in Aus, although I have to pay towards it, the referral was made and we have an appointment in 2 weeks time.

Here in NSW, although it's not perfect, nurse / patient ratios are mandated by the unions and the award.

 

OP, ultimately Aus and UK are both great places to live depending on what suits you and your family. Only you know what your priorities are.

[Guest Bora]

Kellie Kellie - time for a BIG reality check especially if your decision making is for 'a better life' for your Children. If your looking for the opposite of over crowded you may end up at the other end of the spectrum - even if you choose to live in busy area's the sense of isolation is immense plays tricks in your mind - by that I mean where you are in the world, it truly feels like a lifetime away from what your used too even if you end up in big cities, let alone the bush. Fed up of the NHS huh !! God, I'd do anything to go to my locals doctors FOR FREE, and obtain a simple perscription for GBP6-7. I had a simple blood test recently for a condision I have, 10 mins, AU$120 bill, then the aggravation taking this receipt to my local Medicare centre (15 mins drive from where I had the B/T) to claim a refund back AND they make you feel like a pauper for getting the refund back, like some kind of a drain on their rescourses. OUTDOOR Lifestyle, well not sure what I can say about this. We dared a picnic recently to a local park with a million flies in tow, the temp soared to nearly 40c, a blistering wind picked up, my poor kids looking desperately unhappy and wind burnt, and we came home to a house which has no A/C. Fun ? I cant wait for the freezing cold. AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS, I personally dont want my kids growing up here, Kids here are rude, no manners, and in my opinion the education system is second rate. Our son has declined at a frightening rate and most of the reason why were heading BACK to the UK revolve around our children. Take the glasses off and put the brochures, the reality of coming here is somewhat different ......

 

I dont want to shoot you down, but no such thing as 'a better life' for the kids - no such thing. There happy where you are. I also thought I could handle taking the kids away from loved ones and in the short time Ive been here weve missed a handful of milestone Birthdays, days out, etc and it's not even funny dealing with it. - imagine your children on there Birthdays and they only have you as parents in a big house that probaly wont even feel like home ......be very careful for what you wish for.

[Kellie23]

Kellie Kellie - time for a BIG reality check especially if your decision making is for 'a better life' for your Children. If your looking for the opposite of over crowded you may end up at the other end of the spectrum - even if you choose to live in busy area's the sense of isolation is immense plays tricks in your mind - by that I mean where you are in the world, it truly feels like a lifetime away from what your used too even if you end up in big cities, let alone the bush. Fed up of the NHS huh !! God, I'd do anything to go to my locals doctors FOR FREE, and obtain a simple perscription for GBP6-7. I had a simple blood test recently for a condision I have, 10 mins, AU$120 bill, then the aggravation taking this receipt to my local Medicare centre (15 mins drive from where I had the B/T) to claim a refund back AND they make you feel like a pauper for getting the refund back, like some kind of a drain on their rescourses. OUTDOOR Lifestyle, well not sure what I can say about this. We dared a picnic recently to a local park with a million flies in tow, the temp soared to nearly 40c, a blistering wind picked up, my poor kids looking desperately unhappy and wind burnt, and we came home to a house which has no A/C. Fun ? I cant wait for the freezing cold. AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS, I personally dont want my kids growing up here, Kids here are rude, no manners, and in my opinion the education system is second rate. Our son has declined at a frightening rate and most of the reason why were heading BACK to the UK revolve around our children. Take the glasses off and put the brochures, the reality of coming here is somewhat different ......

 

I dont want to shoot you down, but no such thing as 'a better life' for the kids - no such thing. There happy where you are. I also thought I could handle taking the kids away from loved ones and in the short time Ive been here weve missed a handful of milestone Birthdays, days out, etc and it's not even funny dealing with it. - imagine your children on there Birthdays and they only have you as parents in a big house that probaly wont even feel like home ......be very careful for what you wish for.

 

 

Oh oh dear you don't sound happy at all! Where in Aus are you?

[Flathead]

Oh oh dear you don't sound happy at all! Where in Aus are you?

Time you took off the rose tints

[Kellie23]

Time you took off the rose tints

 

Why are you getting so irate and personal! Talking to me like some kind of idiot! You have had your experience and sorry it's not what you expected. Now let me have mine. I have my views on the UK and I have been to Aus and I have about 10 families I know out there from here who absolutely love it and would never come back! You do what you like but stop shooting anyone else down who wants to give Aus a go. As I've said we have lots of reasons for wanting to go And have taken years to finally decide to make the move. I hope you find what you want back in UK and are not disappointed.

[Flathead]

Why are you getting so irate and personal! Talking to me like some kind of idiot! You have had your experience and sorry it's not what you expected. Now let me have mine. I have my views on the UK and I have been to Aus and I have about 10 families I know out there from here who absolutely love it and would never come back! You do what you like but stop shooting anyone else down who wants to give Aus a go. As I've said we have lots of reasons for wanting to go And have taken years to finally decide to make the move. I hope you find what you want back in UK and are not disappointed.

Who said I am going anywhere??.......and it is exactly what I expected....nothing special.

 

You really sound totally unrealistic about what it is like here.......but it is your life:laugh:

[Beatle]

Hi,

 

When you have kids things change a lot, as you have found out. As someone who has two smallish children 6 and 2 and has spent the past 10 years in Australia with an Australian husband, I can honestly say (as quoll mentions) that bringing them up without family support is hard and you do need to be self sufficient and more than a bit tough. It can be lonely and hard work although I think this is true of all mums doing the majority of the parenting. However doing it on the other side of the world complicates it.

I would have a heart to heart with your family back home to see if/ how they would help you, because not all families want to look after kids etc. even if they are round the corner!

I also agree that the statement 'we are doing this for the kids future' etc, is a way of rationalising the reasons for coming. Making the parents feel better about something they actually decided for everyone.

It sounds to me like you have made you're mind up to go back, but are wobbling about what you may be giving up. I can relate to this, as Australia does have a wonderful outdoor lifestyle and a good standard of living. But the UK is not that bad, just different. I am trying to be realistic about what we will be giving up when we go back, but also remembering the pros.

Kellie, Australia is great but education and health standards are similar and not sufficient reasons to move. Many schools are tightly zoned and the hardest thing is house prices are astronomical making getting into a good school a question of money. Write down how many times you see family/ have help and note that in Australia that will not exist. Australia does offer an escape from the dreary English weather and endless motorways, but for most of us there is a cost. Loss of family closeness being the top one.

[Quoll]

Hi,

 

When you have kids things change a lot, as you have found out. As someone who has two smallish children 6 and 2 and has spent the past 10 years in Australia with an Australian husband, I can honestly say (as quoll mentions) that bringing them up without family support is hard and you do need to be self sufficient and more than a bit tough. It can be lonely and hard work although I think this is true of all mums doing the majority of the parenting. However doing it on the other side of the world complicates it.

I would have a heart to heart with your family back home to see if/ how they would help you, because not all families want to look after kids etc. even if they are round the corner!

I also agree that the statement 'we are doing this for the kids future' etc, is a way of rationalising the reasons for coming. Making the parents feel better about something they actually decided for everyone.

It sounds to me like you have made you're mind up to go back, but are wobbling about what you may be giving up. I can relate to this, as Australia does have a wonderful outdoor lifestyle and a good standard of living. But the UK is not that bad, just different. I am trying to be realistic about what we will be giving up when we go back, but also remembering the pros.

Kellie, Australia is great but education and health standards are similar and not sufficient reasons to move. Many schools are tightly zoned and the hardest thing is house prices are astronomical making getting into a good school a question of money. Write down how many times you see family/ have help and note that in Australia that will not exist. Australia does offer an escape from the dreary English weather and endless motorways, but for most of us there is a cost. Loss of family closeness being the top one.

 

Yup, the "better life for the kids" line is much easier to sell to the aged rellies than "we're buggering off because we adults have an itch for adventure!". You dont have to go to the other side of the world for a better life if where you currently are is the pits!

 

I have absolutely no issue with people needing to scratch their adventurous itch or following an amazing opportunity (it's what we did after all!) - it's the "better life" thing which gets to me! It's different, that's all but one first world country is going to be very much like any other and there are swings and roundabouts. Even the weather which is much touted as "better" certainly isnt better for everyone - give me the UK weather any day of the week, nothing that cant be solve with appropriate clothing!

 

My boys grew up OK in Australia, they werent advantaged or disadvantaged by it and both will say they had good childhoods but both have sadly commented, independently, on their regret at our isolation as a little family unit from extended family (both have partners with monster extended social networks!). One has chosen the better opportunities the UK has to offer and has emigrated back with no intention to live in Aus ever again and the other has gone self sufficient in the Aussie bush with a partner who wont leave her family but I think he'd like to live elsewhere for a while. One thing I think that the isolation from family has given them is a distinct sense of self sufficiency and self reliance. Whilst that may be construed as positive, it is also reflected in (IMHO) rather more selfishness than I would like to have seen in them as adult males - (failed mothering 101) but their partners are doing their best to educate!!!

[Kellie23]

Blimey my choice of words have really upset some of you! I was purely giving my opinion on the UK to someone considering returning I didn't realise I'm not entitled to comment! I won't be commenting on here again that's for sure. But let me say this.... The uk has changed rapidly over the last 6/7 years, the cost of living is much higher, there is a housing shortage which is pushing house prices up, wages have not kept up with this, most can't afford to buy, gas/electric/water/food all gone up, oh and petrol in fact mostly everything has gone up in price! Schools, there are currently only 2 schools left in our area that are not in special measures, two years ago my kids school was fantastic now it's become an acadamy and it's gone down hill dramatically. NHS is a fantastic service to have but unfortunately it's now over stretched and no where near as good as a few years back. The difference in it from having my first child to having my third was completely different. The winters here are longgg. Visiting my local town is like being in a foreign country now. As for job opportunities, jobs are harder to get now with so many more people applying for them. No uk is not all bad and I'm sure neither is Australia all good.

[Kellie23]

Now how do I leave this site?

[Quoll]

Now how do I leave this site?

 

Dont do that, of course you are entitled to comment. I guess we have seen the same old mantras repeated ad nauseam and you are to be forgiven for thinking you may be the first to say such things (usually people who havent been there and done that and, sadly, more than a few who learn the hard way). One thing you will have to develop to be a successful migrant to Aus, is a thick skin! No one is telling you not to go for it if you have the itch for adventure. I'm sure the OP, if they do decide to return, will avoid Kent.

[Counting Stars]

I live in Kent lol. Not through choice as hubby was posted here with the army. Has its faults like everywhere. Nothing wrong with wanting a 'better life

' for your children and no one can say whether you will get better as well as different when you move to Australia xx

[Gbye grey sky]

It is the case that the moment anyone utters the line "better life for their kids" as one of their reasons for emigrating all manner of scorn is heaped. Some clearly did not find what they were seeking when they made the move and in fact found that what they were seeking was in the UK all along but many find happiness in the move. Those who return to the UK and are happy are 'born again' and write as though only they know the true meaning of life. I am pleased for you but yours is not the one true way.

[Flathead]

It is the case that the moment anyone utters the line "better life for their kids" as one of their reasons for emigrating all manner of scorn is heaped. Some clearly did not find what they were seeking when they made the move and in fact found that what they were seeking was in the UK all along but many find happiness in the move. Those who return to the UK and are happy are 'born again' and write as though only they know the true meaning of life. I am pleased for you but yours is not the one true way.

When did you last live here?

[ramot]

Kellie if you stay a little longer and read mbbuk from the side lines you will soon realize that certain phrases get the "Australia wasn't for me brigade out" no one place suits all, and it actually is useful hearing about the negatives, but some comments can hurt and posters should realize this. If you want to move to OZ and can then make your own mind up, but consider the negatives. Having said that you can get a lot of help and advice from PIO, so don't be put off.

every ones circumstances are different, some people thrive in OZ others don't.

As a family we have never had much family support, as our extended family is very small, we have moved loads because of my husbands work, and survived and stayed close.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and don't be put off the PIO forum, it's helped many many people.

[JaneSmith]

Hi Kelly, ....I've been told that Kent is a lovely place to live and that the schools there are really good...I'm just wondering what causes you to believe the Australian state education system would be better, or that Australia's GP and medicare system is any better (it doesn't cover any dental care at all except for primary school age children). The Australian climate can be better for an outdoor lifestyle, but working hours and shorter hours of daylight can mean little access to it.

[PaulRaynor]

Hi Kelly, ....I've been told that Kent is a lovely place to live and that the schools there are really good...I'm just wondering what causes you to believe the Australian state education system would be better, or that Australia's GP and medicare system is any better (it doesn't cover any dental care at all except for primary school age children). The Australian climate can be better for an outdoor lifestyle, but working hours and shorter hours of daylight can mean little access to it.

 

Interesting point Jane. As a primary school teacher with experience both here in Brisbane and in the UK I can suggest there is one thing that differentiates us, OFSTED ! It doesn't exist here although some would suggest it is coming. Therefore no school is labelled as outstanding, good or needing special measures. I have worked in schools here that could be classified under each heading. There are league tables but they are very vague, so I guess there is no way of comparing the systems.