Ping ponger - what's it like the second time?

[IT angel]

Hey all

 

After much deliberation have decided to return to oz for a second time. I have posted on here before but was wondering if anyone else had done a similar thing. I first went to Melbourne in 2006 where I met my OH who is an aussie. Lived there until 2010 as got itchy feet and wanted to show OH where I grew up etc.

Been living in England now for 3 years and can honestly say I felt like I had made a massive mistake coming back even after just a few days of being here. Anyway, my OH doesn't really mind where we live as long as I am happy (bless him). So we decided to do another 8-12 months here and then head back to Melbourne.

I can't wait and am already planning the move! One thing that worries me is that I will go through the same thing that happened here when back in oz and wish I was back here?! I am really trying to not see it through rose tinted specs and think that there will be ups and downs..I guess I'm rambling now but would be interested in hearing of other people's experiences of their second stint. For me this is going to be the last time I move countries!

[Quoll]

Never say never, you never know where your next best opportunity is going to arise. If you didnt like it the first time, chances are you may not like it the second time and get itchy feet again - perhaps try somewhere other than Melbourne. Its so easy once you have been tarred with the expat brush to be subject to the curse of the expat and no matter where you go, when things arent quite right that you compare the good of what you had with the bad of the here and now.

 

You can only make decisions based on the best information you have available at the time but one first world country is very much like any other and only you know what made you move the last time. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

[simmo]

You sound like you are in a happy relationship and he seems like a good un so as long as you are happy it doesnt matter where your are.

[Petals]

I have sort of done it, albeit we were always going to live in Australia.

 

I lived in UK for a couple of years and I hated it when I first arrived as I had been away for quite a while. However it grew on me and I got used to it. Then came the time to return to Aus and make our life here and I had the same reaction when I got back here. Did not like being back. However I know why, its the difference, everything looks different, things are different and once the newness wore off settled back into my life and never had any reason to move anywhere else. Melbourne is my home. I do not get the pull when in the UK actually on holiday I get the feeling I had when I returned to live, I don't like it and because its a holiday I know I am leaving so its good. When I get back I could kiss the tarmac.

[blobby1000]

I didn't really think much of Australia.

 

i moaned a lot. Compared the bad of Australia to the good of the UK.

 

now I am back in the UK and on a bad day I compare the bad of the UK with the good of Australia.

 

It's all a bit mad....but we would never come back to Australia as I just think we would feel exactly the same. We would have the same problems, ie it's not England, our family and friends are not there, it's too hot and it's Australia!

 

However, I look back on it with some great memories. Although that is much better than being bitter, it's actually harder that way!

[Guest guest30085]

Best of luck with your plans, IT Angel, I hope it works out great for you

[legoman]

we did it and i think wherever we were we had a lot of wanting for the positives of the other country, i think its something that stays with those of us that have lived abroad

[Guest]

You say itchy feet but don't say you hated it or it was awful. If that is the case then if say you've a good chance of settling second time around. You'll know the city, what to expect and so on. Be prepared for work to not be a given and that you may get knocked back and have the same struggles as lots of others.

 

You also say you felt returning to the UK was a mistake but as you wanted your OH to get to know England and so on, I'd try not to view it like that. You wanted to return, have been there a while and are now wanting to move on again. Nothing wrong with that. I wanted my son to know his Aussie heritage and family etc hence us moving here (hubby the Aussie). It's important to us as a family we have options and we are happy in either place (although only been in Aus 2 months but having no issues whatsoever being here yet).

 

Keep in mind if you did want to return to the UK in future getting your spouse/partner back in can be hard as there are new rules and financial requirements to meet. It's stuffing up lots of couples. Has your OH got UK citizenship yet? Eligible? If so consider applying for it before you apply for partner visa and before you begin planning to leave the UK.

[flag of convenience]

I for one would never rule out options. Nothing wrong with moving between countries. In fact I find it reignites a spark that can that may extinguish or not burn as brightly, too long in a place. Nothing has to be for ever. On my third move between Australia and Europe (UK ) but this stay has been a long one.

Still never returned with the mind to stay for good. Wouldn't have lasted if thought that way.

I'd always anyway maintain a base in Australia at least until sure didn't want to return and like wise do the same in Europe.

[jen85]

Unfortunately once you have lived in both countries everyone gets that "when you want to be there you here etc" feeling and it never goes away! You just have to learn to accept that each place is different and has its good and bad points, don't think Aus hasn't changed cause I can guarantee it has. Just think very carefully about everything and never say never!

[Rhian1]

We did it, best thing we ever did!

[javi1979]

If you can afford it, go for it! Otherwise 5 years down the line you'll still be wondering.

[Rhian1]

Absolutely.

 

My husband and I moved back to the UK in October 2012 after 2 years back in Australia. We loved our time in Aus but felt we should go back for family reasons and to be closer to family in general. We packed up everything, shipped it or sold it, booked flights, got jobs in the UK over the phone and skype and flew back. To be honest, I didn't want to leave and didn't feel ready as I was loving life in Melbourne so that obviously didn't help the settling back 'home'. Initially things were good, good to see everyone again and spend time with family but it was soooo hard to settled back in. We both hated our jobs for different reasons and didn't like where we lived. Xmas was good, great to have a cold Xmas but after that things went down hill fast including our moods. We tried to get jobs in London but that didn't work out so after long discussions we decided our lives were in Australia. Huge decision and hard to tell everyone and accept their opinions that after 6 months we wanted to go back to Australia. So, off we went again, shipped, packed, said our goodbyes, got jobs again (husband got same job back, I got locum work - now have permanent again ) booked our flights and off we went back. Best decision EVER. it was expensive to do and stuck a lot on credit cards but now all paid off. We love our life back in Aus, so happy we gave the UK a shot as not always going to think 'what if?'. We love the Aussie lifestyle and the quality of life it gives us. Good luck!! Life is short x

[IT angel]

Thanks everyone for the replies..

 

I think it's really difficult for people who aren't in the same predicament to understand

what it's like.

 

My OH is Aussie and I'm British so we will always have a pull in both directions due

to where we grew up and family ties.

 

What makes it even more complicated for us is the fact that I have a PR visa which, unless I'm in Oz in about

12 months time will expire and I'll have to obtain a Resident Return Visa.

 

I know people get these visas all the time, but by then I will have spent the last 4 out of the 5 years

outside Australia. I just don't want to risk it and have the hassle of re-applying. I would definately like to be back

and then be able to apply for my Citizenship when the time comes.

 

The other consideration is that my OH now has Indefinate Leave to remain in the UK but in order to keep this

he needs to return every 2 years. The initial plan was to stay and for him to get his British citizenship but

that would mean staying for another 2 years which would then see my Aus PR visa lapse...It ain't simple!

 

Anyway we have made the decision to go back to Oz at end of next year with the intention of keeping our options open

for him and coming back for a visit to the UK every 2 years to keep his visa ticking over. To me it doesnt make sense

to get his citizenship and for me to potentially lose my PR if we are going to live in Oz permantly.

 

I first went to Oz to try it out on a working holiday visa, never really thinking about staying forever. It wasn't

until I met my OH that I started thinking that way. I never hated living in Oz the first time, but I did sometimes feel

very far away from the rest of the world. I think for me I needed to live in the UK with my OH to 'get it out of my

system' so to speak, so that we could make an informed decision about where we want to live

in the long term.

 

Funnily enough when I was in Oz and came to the UK for a holiday I felt like an alien in my own

country - everyone was saying I sounded like an Aussie and I felt so disconnected from everything I grew up with.

 

And now we're living in the UK I don't hate it per se, but I find living in the cold weather hard, the long winters/darkness and the

lack of outside living get to me. I guess I do feel different and found it hard to 'slot' back into my old life. People sometimes

mistake me for an Aussie and say 'so what part of Australia are you from?!'

 

It does feels like friends have moved on, family - don't really see them and they don't make the effort.

Also in the industry I work in all the jobs are London based so I'm commuting for about 3-4 hours a day. (I lived in London and didn't really

enjoy it). I know in Melbourne I could live about a half hour to an hour's commute from work and still earn more money!

 

You're right, my OH is great and supportive, although it is definately me that is driving the move back to Oz.

He's really liked living in the UK as he loves the proximity to Europe and gets to travel heaps for his job, he loves the history and the ye olde

English pubs. Whenever I used to mention going back to Oz he'd roll his eyes and say 'Why? it's full of bogan Australians!'..slightly tongue in cheek baring

in mind he is an aussie.

 

His main worry is that we'll get back to Oz and I'll be wishing I was back in blighty - and I guess deep down I'm a bit worried that I'll never

be happy where-ever we are.

 

I have a good feeling though that this time I'll be able to settle a bit more and lay down some roots knowing that

we wont be uplifting everything to move again.

[starlight7]

Just watching that tv show about British cops. Eeeuuuww. Look at all the litter in the streets over there, its enough to make you barf. Makes this place seem like Paradise .

[Booma]

im married to a ozzie as well and i ping ponged and dragged him with me poor guy. but this time round im settled and happy in oz. sometimes you have to go home to find out where you really want to be.

[Kel1]

Hey all

 

After much deliberation have decided to return to oz for a second time. I have posted on here before but was wondering if anyone else had done a similar thing. I first went to Melbourne in 2006 where I met my OH who is an aussie. Lived there until 2010 as got itchy feet and wanted to show OH where I grew up etc.

Been living in England now for 3 years and can honestly say I felt like I had made a massive mistake coming back even after just a few days of being here. Anyway, my OH doesn't really mind where we live as long as I am happy (bless him). So we decided to do another 8-12 months here and then head back to Melbourne.

I can't wait and am already planning the move! One thing that worries me is that I will go through the same thing that happened here when back in oz and wish I was back here?! I am really trying to not see it through rose tinted specs and think that there will be ups and downs..I guess I'm rambling now but would be interested in hearing of other people's experiences of their second stint. For me this is going to be the last time I move countries!

 

I too am wondering the same thing, i am having real thoughts about going back and i NEVER thought i would really miss it as much as i have. But for us, going back is a drama with visa's - we gave up our chance to get pr and now it may be the biggest regret of our lives

[fourcorners]

We ping-ponged, and are now heading back to the UK for a second time in 2014. Our moves have largely been driven by work. But I never felt settled in Australia the first time and that hasn't changed the second time around. But then we never viewed or wanted it to be a permanent thing.

 

I really enjoyed being back in the UK but my partner's work life balance was horrendous especially when he started a contract FIFO to Karratha, that's when we said 'enough!' and decided to head back out here for his career. Now it looks like more options are becoming available in the UK and with our first baby due in April we're really looking forward to being closer to family again.

 

The only difference second time around is that it was easier and more straightforward to sort everything out on arrival and 'settling' happened quicker. But then the novelty did wear off sooner as well and it turns into same old same old. My partner gets itchier feet than me and can't wait for a change of scenery. I'm hoping he can get a job with a consultancy where he can travel to wild and remote places, I think that will help his wanderlust a bit!

 

The lifestyle here is not ideal for us, there's only so much 'round the BBQ' conversation about cricket/footy/soccer/rugby we can take. Costs of travel to see other parts of Oz are inhibitive, so you end up doing the same weekend trips, camping, fishing etc, which is nice but I can't envisage being happy with that for another 20 years! I think actually Australia suits people who like routine, and like to stay at home a lot. It's been an excellent move for us in terms of our careers but there comes a point when jobs aren't the most important thing in your lives.

[jen85]

I'd continue with getting citizenship with whichever visa would be more expensive to do again, that way if you do ever decide to get the other visa you hopefully won't be forking out so much! Your other half is right their are a fair few bogans depending on where you live of course..

[jen85]

We ping-ponged, and are now heading back to the UK for a second time in 2014. Our moves have largely been driven by work. But I never felt settled in Australia the first time and that hasn't changed the second time around. But then we never viewed or wanted it to be a permanent thing.

 

I really enjoyed being back in the UK but my partner's work life balance was horrendous especially when he started a contract FIFO to Karratha, that's when we said 'enough!' and decided to head back out here for his career. Now it looks like more options are becoming available in the UK and with our first baby due in April we're really looking forward to being closer to family again.

 

The only difference second time around is that it was easier and more straightforward to sort everything out on arrival and 'settling' happened quicker. But then the novelty did wear off sooner as well and it turns into same old same old. My partner gets itchier feet than me and can't wait for a change of scenery. I'm hoping he can get a job with a consultancy where he can travel to wild and remote places, I think that will help his wanderlust a bit!

 

The lifestyle here is not ideal for us, there's only so much 'round the BBQ' conversation about cricket/footy/soccer/rugby we can take. Costs of travel to see other parts of Oz are inhibitive, so you end up doing the same weekend trips, camping, fishing etc, which is nice but I can't envisage being happy with that for another 20 years! I think actually Australia suits people who like routine, and like to stay at home a lot. It's been an excellent move for us in terms of our careers but there comes a point when jobs aren't the most important thing in your lives.

 

Sounds like your all planned for the move, I'm also going over next year in March can't wait! Good luck to you both and happy arrival of the bub

[flag of convenience]

Nothing wrong with moving two and fro if you can afford it. If your husband is happy in England though just be honest with yourself with regards to what you feel you'd get out of returning to Australia. The grass and all that.....OZ comes with a considerable price tag and the question to ask is if it is worth it? We all come up with different answers.