oldjonah Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 :wideeyed: We have been in NZ for 3 years and made the move to OZ in March 13. We had light heartedly discussed going back to the UK when we were in NZ but now the discussion is becoming more serious. I have a small list of fors and againsts but nothing that can offer a solution. What has been other people's fors and againsts when discussing this issue? thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Don't worry to much about other folks opinions. Follow your instincts and heart and what is best for you and yours. A whole lot of opinions does little than cloud the issue. You've done Kiwi, done OZ perhaps it is time to return home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldjonah Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 Just wanna be sure I haven't missed a big for/against that we haven't thought about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Why is it you want to return to the UK?? Answer that, if that reason is too big you can't envisage yourself living in Oz maybe return? I'm going back to the UK in 2 weeks for an un known period of time/maybe for good?!? Mainly due to my health, started having panic attacks which got so bad the doctor said I had severe anxiety. Never in my life have I had anything wrong with my mental health, so enough is enough, I'm going back to yet out the waters in the UK. My Mum arrives tomoro, and I will go back with her in 2 weeks..I can't fly alone now as the panic got so bad I couldn't be alone our in a confined space..on bloody anti depressants...which I hate, but needs must! For me is an accumulation of things that lead to this..no career prospects in Oz, lack of social life, isolation..on it goes. Do what your heart says..can one of you go back..like I am...my oh will stay in Oz until I get better and see what I really want..then we go from that. Go with your heart..gut instinct! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttercup Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Why is it you want to return to the UK?? Answer that, if that reason is too big you can't envisage yourself living in Oz maybe return? I'm going back to the UK in 2 weeks for an un known period of time/maybe for good?!? Mainly due to my health, started having panic attacks which got so bad the doctor said I had severe anxiety. Never in my life have I had anything wrong with my mental health, so enough is enough, I'm going back to yet out the waters in the UK. My Mum arrives tomoro, and I will go back with her in 2 weeks..I can't fly alone now as the panic got so bad I couldn't be alone our in a confined space..on bloody anti depressants...which I hate, but needs must! For me is an accumulation of things that lead to this..no career prospects in Oz, lack of social life, isolation..on it goes. Do what your heart says..can one of you go back..like I am...my oh will stay in Oz until I get better and see what I really want..then we go from that. Go with your heart..gut instinct! :-) I just stumbled on this thread so apologies for going a bit 'off track'. I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I felt a bit like this (nowhere near to the degree you are experiencing) when I lived in Oz, but looking bk, I do believe It was partly due to feeling very isolated, lonely and just so bloody far away from all my dear friends. I know it sounds a bit daft, but I think I just discovered I needed certain people in my life more than a place. Will be quite telling if when you come bk to the UK for a bit- your mental health improves. Big hugs to you.:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelchic Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Why is it you want to return to the UK?? Answer that, if that reason is too big you can't envisage yourself living in Oz maybe return? I'm going back to the UK in 2 weeks for an un known period of time/maybe for good?!? Mainly due to my health, started having panic attacks which got so bad the doctor said I had severe anxiety. Never in my life have I had anything wrong with my mental health, so enough is enough, I'm going back to yet out the waters in the UK. My Mum arrives tomoro, and I will go back with her in 2 weeks..I can't fly alone now as the panic got so bad I couldn't be alone our in a confined space..on bloody anti depressants...which I hate, but needs must! For me is an accumulation of things that lead to this..no career prospects in Oz, lack of social life, isolation..on it goes. Do what your heart says..can one of you go back..like I am...my oh will stay in Oz until I get better and see what I really want..then we go from that. Go with your heart..gut instinct! :-) I suffered panic attacks at one stage in my life. Thought I was dying. It's hard for people to understand what's wrong with you. It feels physical (can't breathe, rapid pulse, sweats, churning tummy, dizziness) and its hard to believe it not something physical but psychological. I really feel for you. Hope you start to feel better soon xx Debs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Why is it you want to return to the UK?? Answer that, if that reason is too big you can't envisage yourself living in Oz maybe return? I'm going back to the UK in 2 weeks for an un known period of time/maybe for good?!? Mainly due to my health, started having panic attacks which got so bad the doctor said I had severe anxiety. Never in my life have I had anything wrong with my mental health, so enough is enough, I'm going back to yet out the waters in the UK. My Mum arrives tomoro, and I will go back with her in 2 weeks..I can't fly alone now as the panic got so bad I couldn't be alone our in a confined space..on bloody anti depressants...which I hate, but needs must! For me is an accumulation of things that lead to this..no career prospects in Oz, lack of social life, isolation..on it goes. Do what your heart says..can one of you go back..like I am...my oh will stay in Oz until I get better and see what I really want..then we go from that. Go with your heart..gut instinct! :-) Panic attacks are really common especially when your out of your comfort zone. My mum suffers from them and since returning to Perth from a stint over east she has been much better, I think its the sense of familarity that helps. I'm sure your panic attacks with subside when you get home and you can get off those nasty pills. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Really feel for folk suffering this. My mother suffered them in Country WA, and probably down to isolation and being unable to connect with like minded people. The world around was a far more basic place in those days as well. She did profit from returning to England but at a cost. Always things to be thought of for those thinking of immigrating. Just having a better material life does not go anywhere near to replacing the things that are really important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 I just stumbled on this thread so apologies for going a bit 'off track'. I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I felt a bit like this (nowhere near to the degree you are experiencing) when I lived in Oz, but looking bk, I do believe It was partly due to feeling very isolated, lonely and just so bloody far away from all my dear friends. I know it sounds a bit daft, but I think I just discovered I needed certain people in my life more than a place. Will be quite telling if when you come bk to the UK for a bit- your mental health improves. Big hugs to you.:hug: Not daft at all. Back in UK 5 months now but felt better, stronger in first week. Loneliness and lack of decent prospects can get to even the most resilient of people after a while. It's shocking how different I feel - now due to domestic circumstances I have to return for at least a year in Sept. I am so looking forward to seeing my family but scared about how I'm going to feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 I also suffer from them and it has nothing whatsoever to do with where I am or what is happening in my life. They now think that its something in our brains that make some of us have them and others do not. Of course some people have anxiety which is brought on by circumstance but proper panic disorder is a disorder with physical reasons. I can not stop meds for mine. Back to the topic and the original post. I think you have to do whatever you think is right for you and your family, however getting permanent residency before returning is a good idea as this gives you options if it does not work out when you return. Many people to and fro and eventually settle on either side of the world. Lay the ghosts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Story to kind of hijack this thread, not my intention, but thanks for all your replies. I have never suffered with anxiety, nerves etc etc, and feel once I get back to the UK, familiarity I will be fine..fingers crossed. I better do, as had to give up my job, as it got so bad. Mum arrives in less than 3 hours :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Go with your gut! Try and get a job before you move - lots of people have managed to do that and if you have a stable and permanent job where you are then take a career break if you can "just in case". Must say that I am one for whom a move back has resulted in an out of sight improvement in my mental and physical health even though the life of a carer of the elderly would argue against that being a likely outcome. My gut always knew best! i do think you can over think these things sometimes - I've not been a great list maker, more an instant decision maker and if its seemed right then in general it's worked. My only caution is that you can never reclaim what you had and many ping ponders seem to discover this the hard way - family and friends have filled the holes you've left in their lives and some returnees do find that difficult. Treat it as a new move, maybe try somewhere you've never been before and start a new adventure! W&W - good luck! You'll know as soon as you fly up the Thames if this is where you want to be! I sincerely hope you get your life back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Go with your gut! Try and get a job before you move - lots of people have managed to do that and if you have a stable and permanent job where you are then take a career break if you can "just in case". Must say that I am one for whom a move back has resulted in an out of sight improvement in my mental and physical health even though the life of a carer of the elderly would argue against that being a likely outcome. My gut always knew best! i do think you can over think these things sometimes - I've not been a great list maker, more an instant decision maker and if its seemed right then in general it's worked. My only caution is that you can never reclaim what you had and many ping ponders seem to discover this the hard way - family and friends have filled the holes you've left in their lives and some returnees do find that difficult. Treat it as a new move, maybe try somewhere you've never been before and start a new adventure! W&W - good luck! You'll know as soon as you fly up the Thames if this is where you want to be! I sincerely hope you get your life back! Ahh my mum is a carer too here in Oz doesn't like the running around though so when we get back shes going to try and get into the office, any advice Quoll? Sorry to take this off topic for a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Ahh my mum is a carer too here in Oz doesn't like the running around though so when we get back shes going to try and get into the office, any advice Quoll? Sorry to take this off topic for a second. Nah, sorry, we care for my parents! I have been offered 3 jobs since I've been here - but I have no intention of working at all! So hopefully something will happen for her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I think you have to be clear why you want to emigrate in the first place. One couple I knew in Australia said they wanted to go home because they felt they were missing out on so much in the UK/Europe. I thought they could have thought of that before they left. I honestly think it has to do with a change/opportunity/different way of life. I recently signed up to Facebook to contact a friend, and although I only gave minimum details of myself I now have twenty "friends". My point though is when I look at facebook pages of "friends" in the UK and then Oz, NZ, it's quite stark how different their life/lifestyle is. It appears to be much easier these days to just up sticks and go back to the UK as opposed to years ago when the distance seemed huge. I'm enjoying the UK, but I wouldn't be here if I was younger. Something about old bones, old country.... Syd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Ahh my mum is a carer too here in Oz doesn't like the running around though so when we get back shes going to try and get into the office, any advice Quoll? Sorry to take this off topic for a second. She shouldn't have a problem at all. We live in Paignton, Devon now and the local newspaper is full of jobs in the caring profession - seems to be a growth industry here. It is a natural progression to move from the hands on caring to office work and then up to management roles. Perhaps it is different in other parts of the UK but certainly down here it is the career choice of the moment as far as job availability is concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 She shouldn't have a problem at all. We live in Paignton, Devon now and the local newspaper is full of jobs in the caring profession - seems to be a growth industry here. It is a natural progression to move from the hands on caring to office work and then up to management roles. Perhaps it is different in other parts of the UK but certainly down here it is the career choice of the moment as far as job availability is concerned. Thanks fizzybangs, that will help put her mind at ease abit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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