kellyjamie Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hi all, apologies if i ramble but im so bloody peeved off this morning. We wont be moving to OZ for about another 2 years yet so plenty of time, anyhow my mum and dad were up last night and were all having an enjoyable relaxed pancake feast when my mum begins this conversation!!!......... "i spoke to anne (her friend) last nite who was asking how your plans are going, and i told her you will defo be going to oz, and that we will visit ONCE just to see where you settle, and then when i thought about it, i realised that after that initial visit, me and dad will never see you all ever again!!" at which point i was ready to start getting into the discussion but just thought whats the point?? she,ll just say that theyre only ever visiting once etc etc. and im very close to my parents and they are the only thing thats making me scared to go so this continual guilt trip is making it 100 times worse!!!! shes sly aswell as its never said in a nasty way so as to annoy me but always in a nice make me feel awful way, i know many of you go through this but how do you cope when you get there? i just wish theyd say go for it and we,ll visit:sad::cry::sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OldiesRUs Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Oh, these emotional blackmailers do make me cross!!!:arghh: However, she might be saying now that they will only ever visit once, but I bet once they do go out there, see what a fabulous place it is, what a great life you have, they will either be visiting every year or straight onto an agent to get their Parent Visa!! Jean:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 Thanx Jean thats exactly what my husbands says, this decision is hard enuf without being made to feel worse! you may be right my husband just thinks shes bluffing, as she says that if we went to Canada theyd follow us like a shot, but thats her dream, not mine. Thanx:notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest leanneandmark Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Sadly, Kelly i think you've just got to become hardened to it!! I think i would have come back with 'Well thanks for the big effort!!' or 'are we not welcome to visit you then?' My mum in law is the same, she even told our oldest son (9), to move in with her and not go with us!! As if!! They won't be around forever, and you can't sit back and wait until that day comes to live your own life. Perhaps you should be up beat and say things like 'Ooo exciting isn't it!' Try not to let it worry you though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarvl Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Before we came out, my Mum promised to visit every year, my Dad, however, said he would come and see where we were living but... Every time he comes over he says this will be his last trip, (hates the length of the flight) but has been here 3 times and we have been here three and a half years - hope it continues... Hopefully the same thing will happen with your parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lardyarse Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 What a very selfish thing of her to say..... you are so doing the right thing, and if she only chooses to visit once then that's her loss. You will harden to these comments. My Mum still thinks I'm going back to the UK one day. I don't know why she's so disillusioned to that. She walked out on all of us when I was 7, so I can't see myself going back just because she misses me and my son. He has such a better quality of life here, one that I couldn't have given him in the UK. It IS extremely hard being here as a sole-parent sometimes, and yes it would be too easy to go back, but it wouldn't resolve anything and I couldn't face the cold weather, the over-crowdedness (is that even a word?) the traffic congestion, the lack of sky (you'll know when you get here what I mean about that!), the cost of public transport, etc. etc. Your mother has plenty of time to get used to the idea of you leaving, and it is probably her coping mechanism kicking in. Try not to let it get you down. Good luck! Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 Thanx all, your all absolutely spot on, and it probably is her way of adjusting, i can usually deal with the comments but just sometimes they can get to you, thank god for POMS IN OZ!!!!!!!:notworthy::notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lardyarse Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 She's probably very sad that you are going and doesn't know how to cope, but she should just be honest and say "look, I will miss you & love you very much, but all the best and you'll always have a home here" or something slushy like that!! Don't lose sight of the reasons why you want to emigrate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 ive just been looking at the victoria government website and also realestate website and that usually helps cheer me up and keeps me focused:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ajgwa Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 i have been talking about the move for 18 months. and until yesterday morning that was all it was - talk. then the visa arrived and everything is suddenly booked and i'm off in 4 weeks. the parents - while very supportive - were "fairly ambivalent" about me getting my visa and booking it all. however - i reminded them that when they were all excited a few years ago about their 'grey-haired-gap-year' that not everyone was that enamored with the whole thing that they were doing! i know i am going for longer than that - and we are quite close. but i think i stopped counting at 5 phone calls yesterday "with the internet and skype we can talk all the time!" and they have had the rental agent over to rent their place out for 6 months so they can do 3 months in aus and 3 in NZ from november! i can't wait for the break from them! :twitcy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 I agree with Jean, when they see how nice it is they'll want to come again. My dad is planning another visit - he thinks it's great. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.