Can I get my four year old into school a year early?

[arrumac]

Hi, we are in a similar boat, my 4 year old started in Sept and won't strictly speaking be due to start when we get to Melbourne on May. We did email the school we anticipate her going to and the admissions officer seemed to think it would be fine to start at the start of the next available term so long as we were in catchment. My ex-wife hit this issue too last year, she did suggest to me to take proof of school attendance from the UK, she is in SA and that was fine for her.

[northshorepom]

The problem is that, yes, she is your daughter and, yes of course you want the best for her but lines are drawn in the sand for a reason - it'd be a dogs breakfast if all parents of kids within the 70 day period all decided that their little sweetie was ready for school, wanted to go to school and would be bored with a part time school/home stimulation environment etc etc. I have given you a link to the early entry policy statement. Go through the process, get the assessments done then make your case to the decision makers -easy!

 

i do agree with those who have said that whilst being younger isn't so much of an issue in primary school it often does become a big issue in the older teen years when the social cohort can and does start doing things that the youngster cannot and should not (but often does) do.

 

Is that the issue (or perceived issue) then?

 

Honestly, I can only say that it wasn't a problem at all. My folks had to pretty much accept that I'd be doing things earlier but we had discussions and agreements about it in terms of acceptable behaviour as I'd hope most functional families would. As per previous, I think there's such variation in levels of maturity both physical and emotional with teenagers that rules can end up being a bit arbitrary. In the way that people don't suddenly turn overnight into adults on their 18th birthday.

 

If the concern with moving up a year is with teenagers doing things socially you'd rather they wouldn't, then from my direct personal experience I think the concern is overblown. If we were talking about a significant proportion of people moving up then I might change my stance on it, but it's only ever a handful in any country I think

[gwolst77]

The problem is that, yes, she is your daughter and, yes of course you want the best for her but lines are drawn in the sand for a reason - it'd be a dogs breakfast if all parents of kids within the 70 day period all decided that their little sweetie was ready for school, wanted to go to school and would be bored with a part time school/home stimulation environment etc etc.

 

Thanks again for the advice I missed your link

 

To be honest if she had not started and completed her first term at school in the UK we would just go with the flow. However the fact is she has started school and is asking when she can go back to school because she is missing it. This is not a parents whim because they think their little sweetie is ready for school.

 

I am going to look into Kindie as it may be comparable to reception class back in the UK, and if we can't get her in school this will become option two

 

Even if they say she can start the term after her fifth birthday, that would be great (a new school opens on our estate in June/July).

Knowing my daughter waiting a full year will probably be more damaging than any potential future issues caused by her going to school early.

 

Reading the other post I still don't understand how a two months age difference will make a teenagers life so hard. If you were a 13 year old teenager and your birthday was in July and your friends birthdays where in Feb, March and April how is that going to affect you? Apart from having to wait two months more before you hit an official age, I assume there are certain things you can do once you hit 16/17/18 years old in Australia the same as the UK (even though that never stopped me or my friends) then what's the issue?

 

There are always going to be people who are going to be the oldest in their year and people who are the youngest, and people we always gravitate to people they feel comfortable with regardless of which school year group they are in (or actual age). You could equally argue being the oldest in your year is just as harmful, as all your peers won't be able to do the same things as you due to their younger age.

 

The majority of my mates outside of my school year during my teenage years where a couple of years older than me, and I had a fantastic time growing up and it did not do me any harm.

[LKC]

Thanks again for the advice I missed your link

 

To be honest if she had not started and completed her first term at school in the UK we would just go with the flow. However the fact is she has started school and is asking when she can go back to school because she is missing it. This is not a parents whim because they think their little sweetie is ready for school.

 

I am going to look into Kindie as it may be comparable to reception class back in the UK, and if we can't get her in school this will become option two

 

Even if they say she can start the term after her fifth birthday, that would be great (a new school opens on our estate in June/July).

Knowing my daughter waiting a full year will probably be more damaging than any potential future issues caused by her going to school early.

 

Reading the other post I still don't understand how a two months age difference will make a teenagers life so hard. If you were a 13 year old teenager and your birthday was in July and your friends birthdays where in Feb, March and April how is that going to affect you? Apart from having to wait two months more before you hit an official age, I assume there are certain things you can do once you hit 16/17/18 years old in Australia the same as the UK (even though that never stopped me or my friends) then what's the issue?

 

There are always going to be people who are going to be the oldest in their year and people who are the youngest, and people we always gravitate to people they feel comfortable with regardless of which school year group they are in (or actual age). You could equally argue being the oldest in your year is just as harmful, as all your peers won't be able to do the same things as you due to their younger age.

 

The majority of my mates outside of my school year during my teenage years where a couple of years older than me, and I had a fantastic time growing up and it did not do me any harm.

 

It isn't just a couple of months though. It would be anything up to one and a half years difference. I don't recall where you are (Victoria?), but here in nsw children have to be in school from the time they are six, so a four and a half year old would be starting with children who are aged anything up to six. In my experience at our daughters school, the age range is definitely skewed towards the older end since most of the other children that I know of were held back if they could be.

[gwolst77]

It isn't just a couple of months though. It would be anything up to one and a half years difference. I don't recall where you are (Victoria?), but here in nsw children have to be in school from the time they are six, so a four and a half year old would be starting with children who are aged anything up to six. In my experience at our daughters school, the age range is definitely skewed towards the older end since most of the other children that I know of were held back if they could be.

 

Spooky reading your replay as I've just finished having the same conversation regarding this matter in the office. I now understand some peoples point reagarding the age gap with her peers when she is in her teens.

 

I did not factor in that you could hold your children back till 6 years old in Australia.

[northshorepom]

Spooky reading your replay as I've just finished having the same conversation regarding this matter in the office. I now understand some peoples point reagarding the age gap with her peers when she is in her teens.

 

I did not factor in that you could hold your children back till 6 years old in Australia.

 

Can you share it with us? I keep asking but everyone must have me on ignore. Why is it seen as such a big deal?

[newjez]

My wife is a teacher, and many of our friends are teachers. When they have planned to have children, they have always planned to have them Sept/Oct (UK) as their is a distinct advantage to your child being the oldest in the class. Summer borns (pre sept) often do less well than their winter born siblings (post sept). Saying that, I have seen Summer borns do very well. But statistically, to give your child the best chance at fulfilling their potential, they should be the oldest in the class. (Obviously there are many exceptions to the statistic). Pushing for your child to go up a year probably isn't in their best interests.

[LKC]

Spooky reading your replay as I've just finished having the same conversation regarding this matter in the office. I now understand some peoples point reagarding the age gap with her peers when she is in her teens.

 

I did not factor in that you could hold your children back till 6 years old in Australia.

 

It is extremely confusing isn't it!

 

From my own personal point of view, I have two girls, one born April 06 and one born feb 08. With our eldest we would have had the option to hold her back to 2012 because she didn't turn six until this year but, due to a huge amount of pressure from my in-laws (who managed to convince me that I would be ruining her education by holding her back, would be ruining her life etc) and not really having anyone to advise me of the pros and cons, we decided to start her in feb 11. I will be completely honest with you, it is a decision that I bitterly regret, and not a day goes by where I don't worry about having done the wrong thing. She was okay in kindy, although there was an obvious difference in her size and level of emotional maturity to her peers, but year one (this one just gone) has been awful. She was bullied, as were a couple of the other younger kids in the class, by one of the much older girls.

 

In our situation (and I am aware that our situation is different to most) she developed an OCD/anxiety problems subsequent to the bullying and we had to take her to a psychologist. She had some psychometric tests done, and it was found that she is intellectually gifted, but that she has Asperger's disorder. I can't help but worry that maybe if I'd started her later she would have been better able to cope from an emotional/social point of view (although with Aspergers that is always difficult). The thing is, it is too late for me to hold her back now. From an academic point of view she is way ahead of her peers, and I just couldn't expect her to repeat a year.

 

I guess what I am trying to say in a roundabout way, is that you do need to think very carefully about what you do, because once you start down the road, it is very difficult to change course. It is easier to hold them back now (although actually you aren't holding them back, in my opinion you are giving them a head start by starting them later when they are more able) than it is to repeat a year later on down the line.

 

I found this which might give the holding back perspective in a more eloquent way

http://blogs.kidspot.com.au/villagevoices/starting-school-holding-back/.

[northshorepom]

Interesting. I do think the specific circumstances of the OP (and of us, previously) put a slightly different slant on it, though, where your child has already started formal school in the UK and you are looking to just continue being "in school" rather than take them out and put them back a year later

 

Still no real answer in that to my query about the supposed issues in teenage years, either (and some dodgy arithmetic to boot - the difference between 4.5 and 6 does not suddenly expand to the difference between 13 and 15.5). Don't want your 16.5 year old child mixing it with 18 year olds? Well firstly, why not, why is it that such a drama? And secondly remember it would only be the outliers who were 18. Most would be somewhere between 16.5 and 18 with a median probably in the 17 and a bit range. I can't see that making a huge difference

[Ellie 2]

Interesting. I do think the specific circumstances of the OP (and of us, previously) put a slightly different slant on it, though, where your child has already started formal school in the UK and you are looking to just continue being "in school" rather than take them out and put them back a year later

 

Still no real answer in that to my query about the supposed issues in teenage years, either (and some dodgy arithmetic to boot - the difference between 4.5 and 6 does not suddenly expand to the difference between 13 and 15.5). Don't want your 16.5 year old child mixing it with 18 year olds? Well firstly, why not, why is it that such a drama? And secondly remember it would only be the outliers who were 18. Most would be somewhere between 16.5 and 18 with a median probably in the 17 and a bit range. I can't see that making a huge difference

 

It was found that a good number of the younger children, those turning 5 between February and June, tended to have some problems, academically and because of immaturity, in the senior years of high school, so the option is there to delay the start if it is thought necessary. I should say this is in NSW. I have known children to start kindergarten and then be withdrawn because they couldn't cope. I do not know if any recent studies have been undertaken. My own view is that children today are more mature, in general, than they were even 20 years ago! As for the OP's situation; I'm sure if you approach the principal of the school, give him/her the relevant information and they assess your child, the best decision, for your child, will be made

[northshorepom]

Thanks. Had never heard of it before and didn't experience any problems as mentioned, hence my questions

[Quoll]

NSP, it's the social things like drinking, driving, sex etc - if you are 14 and your peers are turning 16 there are huge pressures to comply with their time frame rather than your own (legal) limitations. If you are a sane and sensible and grounded 14 year old then no worries but if you need to "belong" to that cohort for whatever reason then you are more at risk. One of my ex colleagues - principal at a College (ACT has colleges for yrs 11 & 12) always used to comment that you can tell the ones who arent 16 yet - the lack of responsibility, organization etc. I am sure there are some 15 yr olds who would have slipped through her net but she was usually pretty spot on.

 

There is nothing magical about the birth date cut off other than you have to have it otherwise it would be a dogs breakfast. There are some kids who are ready for school at 3 and a bit and others who arent ready for it at 8 but you have to go with the cohort and age peer progression is easier to handle than ability progression (think of the poor old 35 year old who still hasnt made it out of year 3 LOL) and when you are dealing with a mega system you take the best option for the majority.

 

To the OP - there is a process for application for early entry, you just have to follow it and bolster it with objective information. In my experience schools havent taken international entry as a criterion because different countries have wildly different cut offs but they will take interstate entry. The fact that your daughter could have been in NSW works in your favour (had she a late August birthday she would still have been in school in UK but not in NSW) as does the fact that you are only on a temporary visa and could well return to UK (that is the card I would play, even though it may not be your intention at the moment!). But get a psychologist assessment of her ability, skill level and emotional/adaptive behaviour and go armed with your case. They are very reticent about acceleration because it does open up a can of worms but if you present a strong case then they may say yes. As I understand it, it isnt the Principal of a government school that makes the decision, it is the Regional Director.

[gwolst77]

It is extremely confusing isn't it!

 

From my own personal point of view, I have two girls, one born April 06 and one born feb 08. With our eldest we would have had the option to hold her back to 2012 because she didn't turn six until this year but, due to a huge amount of pressure from my in-laws (who managed to convince me that I would be ruining her education by holding her back, would be ruining her life etc) and not really having anyone to advise me of the pros and cons, we decided to start her in feb 11. I will be completely honest with you, it is a decision that I bitterly regret, and not a day goes by where I don't worry about having done the wrong thing. She was okay in kindy, although there was an obvious difference in her size and level of emotional maturity to her peers, but year one (this one just gone) has been awful. She was bullied, as were a couple of the other younger kids in the class, by one of the much older girls.

 

In our situation (and I am aware that our situation is different to most) she developed an OCD/anxiety problems subsequent to the bullying and we had to take her to a psychologist. She had some psychometric tests done, and it was found that she is intellectually gifted, but that she has Asperger's disorder. I can't help but worry that maybe if I'd started her later she would have been better able to cope from an emotional/social point of view (although with Aspergers that is always difficult). The thing is, it is too late for me to hold her back now. From an academic point of view she is way ahead of her peers, and I just couldn't expect her to repeat a year.

 

I guess what I am trying to say in a roundabout way, is that you do need to think very carefully about what you do, because once you start down the road, it is very difficult to change course. It is easier to hold them back now (although actually you aren't holding them back, in my opinion you are giving them a head start by starting them later when they are more able) than it is to repeat a year later on down the line.

 

I found this which might give the holding back perspective in a more eloquent way

http://blogs.kidspot.com.au/villagevoices/starting-school-holding-back/.

 

Sorry to read about your problems you faced with your daughter. I honestly don't think (and hope) we will have any issues like that with my daughter. She physically towers above nearly all the kids her age and older, We also think she is mature enough to hold her own with kids older than here age, she was doing this successfully last year in the UK. From the teachers reports I have seen and hello's / goodbyes she got in the playground when my wife did the school run (I was here in Oz setting up the new home) she was quite popular with lot's of kids in her primary school (not just her own year group).

 

Bullying - you can't keep your child back a year on the pretext that they may get bullied by someone older. If it happens it happens, and you will have to deal with it when it arises. My daughter has been told exactly what to do in that situation and it's the same advice that was passed down to me and my sister from my dad, which was passed down from his dad.

 

I've read the Kidspot article and it's just a blog by someone trying to justify their reasons for holding back the child a year (not that they had to justify their reason), if you start to read the comments regarding the article it does get a lot more interesting. People actually quote various research and studies that counter act the arguments for keeping your child back a year (and then more people quote studies that counter act that argument).

 

I know for one thing I don't want my daughter still in full time compulsory education or sitting her final exams when she is over eighteen years old, which will happen if she is held back by a year. Not that I am under any illusions she won't be getting up to stuff before she is eighteen years old. I was getting served in pubs at fourteen and joined the British Army (as soon as I left school) when I was sixteen and eight months old.