jhampa Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 tough call.... sorry dont want to comment too much but I guess keep talking, being open with everyone involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It's not where we are that's important, it's who we're with that makes us happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1K3R Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It's not where we are that's important, it's who we're with that makes us happy. Maybe to you, yes. But for some, they need both to be happy... Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I thought the same thing before I had to choose between the person I love and the place I love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1K3R Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I thought the same thing before I had to choose between the person I love and the place I love. Been there and done that. I agree with you but it's all about perception and that is different for everyone. Most probably, you do not hate the place you are in now as that makes it easier too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxcooper Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Hey guys, Well my head is certainly a lot clearer today. A few things happened and were said that make me think that Hubby is more on board than I previously believed. We read an article on BBC news about a paleontologists playground in Queensland and he said that he can see our daughter going to Uni in Oz and being able to follow her dreams ( I know she may well change her mind by then!! ). It was just really nice to hear him come out with it so I'm quietly feeling more confident ;-) Also when we were in the car we were talking about his parents recent move and our son piped up that we need to move. Hubby asked the children if they want to move around or stay in one place for a long time and they both said they'd like to move around and that they want to move to Fuerteventura (where we took them on holiday last year) as they love the sunny days and having a pool - Hubby said that he'd love that too and gave me a smile. Now I'm still not saying a word. I'm keeping quiet - apart from on here of course ;-) and secretly feeling a bit more confident that our day will come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I chose the place that I love, that's why I know it's better to choose the people that you love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1K3R Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I chose the place that I love, that's why I know it's better to choose the people that you love. I agree with that as I choose the people that I love. But then again, there will always be a little hole... It might be different for others I guess... That's good news Jacqui !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galahad Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 " ... Hubby said that he'd love that too and gave me a smile .... " Sounds very much as though in his own way, he has been giving it a lot of thought with regard to his family's future.... Definitely on amber & I think an Australian 'reccie' will bring on the green-to-go light..... Well done for keeping 'mum' - keep smiling..... Just a little tiny 'woo-hooo !!!!' is allowed.... :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I one partner wants to stay you stay....if you go you obviously did not love that partner enough and it s probably for the best for both of you in the long run that you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murta Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 jaxcooper Ah thats great that you both can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I empathise completely with your family dilemma. My OH has lived in Ireland for me since 2000 he give it a fair shot but oh boy has the wee dear struggled BIG TIME. in 2004 we honeymooned in sydney/Mel and he was smittened!!! From then he has been passionate about oz (i did see the pros then) but I never thought it neccessary and mainly because of my inability to separate myself from my mother. As I read your posts I was having it in the back of my mind there must be one thing that is stopping your partner then you said it...not sirectly quoting but that your FIL was a controlling man and your MIL was subservant to him. This is such a traumatic life experience for a child and one that they carry around where they are the protector of the relationship of their parent and looking out for mum. Of course I know nothing about your family but my father died when I was 5yr and my mum had a rough time etc and on reflection was always bitter that he "left her" he was 46. SO I feel that my inability to leave my mum is because I was her little carer so to speak and now I cant shake it all !! WInch every day at my inability to leave her..guilt is so powerful!!! I am totally mad about oz and know it is for us..just cant leave mum!.. No she wont cant come over (she is committed to a wonderful life her) but she has a long term (non terminal) diagnosis that has knocked her for six , this is what scares her most about me leaving.she is 74 but like a model and very active. Anyway sorry to monoplise your thread but i do empathise and like your OH I will be interested to hear how he manages the decision. Like my Oh you sound so kind and caring and not pushing the subject. We sat down and said if we wait for the day where I can shout "we are immigrating" hell will freeze over. So we made a committment that we would invest the money for the 175 and are prepared to loss it (the money/visa) should we not make it to oz. It was the only way to start the process. What else worried me and made me sit up are all the posts about people feeling so unhappy in oz etc and making it home and you like my OH are like that in UK? I respect that!!! Good luck...it is such a personal place to be in right now...as you have been gently sail it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxcooper Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 Murta thanks for your reply too. I completely feel for you- it can't be easy. Believe it or not, I was on here a while ago when it was my Mum we were worried about leaving. I really do understand, if you are close it must be so hard. I hope you find the right path for you and your family, whether that be the UK or Oz. My Husband would move to the States or Canada tomorrow- I think it's mostly the distance to Australia that bothers him right now and I respect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxcooper Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 I one partner wants to stay you stay....if you go you obviously did not love that partner enough and it s probably for the best for both of you in the long run that you go. Perthbum if I didn't love him enough I would have been on a flight 3 years ago- fact. The reason I am here, discussing it with strangers is precisely because I love him and I won't ambush him with my thoughts. I have no-body here to discuss my feelings with - I thought that is what forums were for?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galahad Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 ".... I am here, discussing it with strangers ...." No strangers on here Jacqui - I'm relatively new here but don't feel a stranger any more.... :goofy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxcooper Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 ".... I am here, discussing it with strangers ...."No strangers on here Jacqui - I'm relatively new here but don't feel a stranger any more.... :goofy: I'll re-phrase that " talking on here to new friends I haven't met yet" ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galahad Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Thaaaaaaat's better !!! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxcooper Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 :hug: Yay found the hug button... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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