Should we wait for eldest daughter to finish education?

[hope2]

Hi

 

This may be a bit long but I need some advice from anyone who can help. We are a family of 4, my eldest is nearly 12 and youngest is nearly a year old. We were going to go to oz 3 years ago, but just as we were set to start the process the points changed and we could no longer claim points for family as they are in Sydney......we were gutted because we had made the decision and been there twice to check it out and the time was right.

 

We've got enough points now but the timing's all wrong. My eldest has just started secondary school and she has settled so well. She is the happiest she's ever been and her school work is excelling - she has so many great friends etc...she doesn't want to go! However, we don't want to lose the opportunity again, if the points change we may lose the chance for good. So acting on this we have started the process. Appointed a migration agent, and sent vetassess off, already sat ielts etc. The way we saw it was that if we have 5 years from when the visa is granted then she would have time to do her gcse's then we would go asap.

 

Now I'm having severe worries. It would be cutting it very fine on the timescale and I can't be sure that my daughter will be any happier to do this after her exams (it might be worse) but at least I won't feel I would be jeopardising her education. I think we're going to have to hold back on lodging the visa to give us a bit more time.

 

The big question is.... am I mad to be holding back so long? I would go tomorrow was it not for the fact that I've never seen my daughter this happy at school. I want her to achieve her best and fortunately she is at a school were she is certainly doing this. I'm just so confused...........help!

 

Thanks

[Guest billy braveheart]

Hi Hope2

 

Personally I would go now. My son has just finished his first year when we came over. If you leave it any longer they might not want to come like my 17 year old son but thankfully he came, wanted to go home again & after 2 months told me he wanted to stay & is having a ball. So IMHO I would come before the kids get any older.

 

Janette

[keily]

Hi Hope 2 .... There Is Never A Right Time To Do Anything In Life ... There Will Always Be Something To Make You Question What You Are Doing - The Thing Is What Happens If You Dont Go And In 4/5 Yrs Your Daughter Decides She Wants To Go To College / Uni ... You Might Find Yourself Asking The Question All Over Again ! My Children Are Both Adults Now But I Think 12 Would Be A Great Age To Start A New Life She Is Still Young Enough To Make Some Great Friends Along The Way . Im Tempted To Say If You Have The Chance To Go Snap It Up You May Not Get Another . Good Luck

Mrs Keily

[Guest bruce&jackie]

Hi Hope2

My son is 13 in year 9 and loves his school or should i say his social life at school and does not want to go to oz .We started the process in January of this year, he was so angry and upset that we would take him away from all his new friends and and a school he loves.[We moved to a different area so had to change primary schools and didn't settle well, once he started secondary school wow a different boy!]

But he has now got used to the idea of going, but would still rather stay.

The way we look at it though is he will make new friends so much easier at school and settle so much quicker than if he finished his education in england then moved over.

As i understand it our exams don't mean alot in oz anyway.

But only you know what is right for your family there is no right or wrong way to think, good luck .

Jackie x:)

[Guest ellie2]

Hi Hope2

 

I would also go for it now, We wish we had done that now, we have three daughters and we were in the middle of our application and our eldest who was 18 met a boy we all got our visas and are going out there in February but my eldest will not be coming as she will not leave her boyfriend behind. It would have been much better if we had done it while the girls were a lot younger.

 

Christine

[Guest Serenity]

Hi

I think you really should go for it. She will adapt quicker now than she will in a few years time. Also you will get her settled into the Australian system well in advance of her exams which will benefit her greatly. On top of it all you shouldn't wait and have her go through the A level system for sure. It isn't a good system and doesn't give them the skills they need for university. I have seen students from diferent systems along side A level students and it just isn't up to scratch. Unfortunetly the education system here in the Uk isn't doing the young people any favours. Don't beat yourself up she is still young and will adapt quickly in a new school, she will have the weather to get out and make friends.

Go for it. She'll tank you for it in the future, you will have opened more doors for her than staying on in the UK and maybe never making the move.

[Guest Impatient]

Have you spoken to daughter about it? She might love the idea....

 

My view, for what it is worth, is this is only going to get harder the longer you leave it. I kinda think you have to do it now or forget about the idea until she has finsished school

[hope2]

THANK - YOU ALL SO MUCH :jiggy:You have made me feel 100% better. All of your advice has made me feel certain that holding on isn't right, and many of you are, or have been in the same position, so that is invaluable advice. I'm not beating myself up over this half as much as I was yesterday!!! I have spoken to my daughter about this, originally telling her that we would wait for her, but last night we spoke about going out IF and when visa gets granted, she's not that happy atall, but on the other hand she's not angry and can see the bigger picture. She just doesn't want to start a new school on her own (who wouldn't feel anxious about that?), she understands our reasons for wanting to go and I'm very proud that she is as open-minded as that. So I guess that's encouraging.

 

I really appreciate all the advice you have all given me...... no doubt I'll be posting for more!!! Thank-you xxx

[Guest Serenity]

That is great! You daughter sounds like a smart girl. She will adapt quickly and she'll make the most out of the move. You will be glad you spoke to her and at least she can start preparing for the possibilty now. Good luck with it all.

[Guest billy braveheart]

AWWWWWW glad we all made you feel better & your daughter sounds like a very smart cookie. My 12 yearl old son settled into high school here better than I ever thought he would & he loves it.

 

Good Luck

 

Janette

[ali]

My daughter started high school in September 06 and left last xmas as we were coming to Aus in January 07. I'd say go for it there's no time like the present.

 

Ali

[Guest Colin R]

I have to say go for it now. We moved over here and bour son of 16 came with us it was a difficult time for us because he was at school we ahd to give a terms notice. We moved and really pleased we did. He got straight into College most schools over here stop at 16 and the students move onto college . GCSE's dont count for much over here and it is better to get into the system sooner rather than later. and the longer you leave it the harder it is and the more problems you may get (boyfriends) . I do hope everything works out OK . it is a difficult time but all I can say is I have never thought what have I done and niether has my son he loves it over here and even in 18months he is more Australian than British.

[Lazy Cow]

It's heartbreaking to think that your daughter is so happy and well-adjusted to her new school and will have to leave. However, it isn't (IMHO!) luck that she's getting on well; it's her and I'm sure as she'll fit in here every bit as well.

 

I don't know where you want to go, but here in Adelaide the kids go to high school in year 8, which means that that she might get the chance to start with everyone else anyway.:smile:

 

My daughter was in a similar position when we came out. She ended up going back to primary school for a term, going to her prom before starting at high school. She was academically gifted back in the UK but was never as motivated or intellectually satisfied (apparently!) there as she is here. I still feel sad that she's left her friends behind, but thanks to MSN they are all still in contact!

 

As to exams. Surely if you are intending to emigrate for good (as much as anyone can know/hope/guess!) isn't it better that she has her Australian certificates, to make going to uni or work that much easier?

 

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. I think it's so easy to worry about everything relating to the welfare of our kids, but really things work out just fine most of the time.

:wubclub:LC/

[hope2]

Thanks Lazy Cow! That's a lovely reply - I'm going to show all these to my daughter - eveyone's been so helpful - it certainly helps knowing you've all been through the same thing and survived!!! I cannot thank you all enough for the support and advice you've offered - it's been a real help in this stressful decision. So glad all of you have made it work for your children.....it's the most important thing knowing they're happy.