Metoo Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I have just watched an episode of 'wanted down under' about a couple who were emmigrating to New Zealand. The wife and 2 kids went on ahead while the hubby stayed behind to sell their house. Ultimately the husband never did join his family in NZ and the couple ended up divorced with one kid on each country. This is a very sad story and I wonder if they woud have stayed together had they not contemplated the move. I wonder how many relationships fall by the wayside because of the stress of moving countries, or are couples drawn closer together as a result. I hope all our couples on PIO are all loved up today and enjoying your Valentines day. Metoo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 Sorry, just read sh7t mans post. I think we must have watched the same episode and thought the same thing x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Sorry, just read sh7t mans post. I think we must have watched the same episode and thought the same thing xi dont really watch much tv metoo--my thread wuz based on a couple of friends who have just got divorced,and the reason for there divorce wuz australia--long story--basically they ping ponged,she loved australia,and he just strugled to find work,and settle--its just split them in 2 basically:wubclub: i also have quite a few pom friends in oz,and there relationship has being challanged aswell with australia---i also have pom friends in oz who are happy,and think its the best thing since sliced bread--so hence my thread--i feel its important when moving to oz to have a very strong relationship,in my view it will be challanged--the more threads on this subject the better--we have the cost of living/cost of houses/the cost of most things in oz threads---but to me the cost of a relationship far outways these:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Moving from South Africa to the UK did strain the relationship between my wife and I. You have to build up a whole new support system and we found that we never really have had the same support as we did in SA even after 9 years in the UK. You can replace friends but its difficult to replace the support that was offered by family members. So you land up relying on one another more, which initially caused strain but in the end I believe has brought us closer together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 If there is even one small crack it will grow to a chasm in my view. Relationship has to be strong, trust has to be strong. We were apart at times when my oh was at sea and it did not rock our relationship. Bit like buying a new bigger house, having more children or a child if there are cracks these things do not cement the relationship they divide it more. One of the people I know had ivf triplets did not save the marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 It is easy to underestimate the strain such a move can put on a relationship. I suspect there are many partners of Australians, and Australians living in the UK, that really do understand how much of a strain it can be. Often on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PocketMamma Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Really great topic to bring up - it's something that's been worrying me a lot of late and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it (family around me can't relate as much they try). I came over two months ago with my baby daugher. The goal was to be here before xmas - my parents and brother and sis-in-law had settled in and we decided to settle in the same place for the time being. However my partner stayed in London as he had some passport issues and couldn't get a visa sorted in time....he also got cold feet a month or so before I came over so it worked out ok for him to stay. Anyhoo - in the new year I discovered I was pregnant again. So he's still in London, I'm here with a baby, pregnant and not sure when he'll get here. My family have been really supportive and a big help with the baby. And if all goes well he should be here by end of March.....and he says all he wants is to be with us now and he'll be here as soon as he can. But there's a small part of me that wonders. And I'm also still feeling a bit of anger that he didn't come with us - that if he'd tried a bit harder he would've got his visa sorted in time. Trying to keep a relationship going over Skype isn't easy...and sometimes he misses the calls as he's been out. Which also builds up resentment in me because I don't get to go out. Ok - whinge over :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burchos Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Really great topic to bring up - it's something that's been worrying me a lot of late and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it (family around me can't relate as much they try). I came over two months ago with my baby daugher. The goal was to be here before xmas - my parents and brother and sis-in-law had settled in and we decided to settle in the same place for the time being. However my partner stayed in London as he had some passport issues and couldn't get a visa sorted in time....he also got cold feet a month or so before I came over so it worked out ok for him to stay. Anyhoo - in the new year I discovered I was pregnant again. So he's still in London, I'm here with a baby, pregnant and not sure when he'll get here. My family have been really supportive and a big help with the baby. And if all goes well he should be here by end of March.....and he says all he wants is to be with us now and he'll be here as soon as he can. But there's a small part of me that wonders. And I'm also still feeling a bit of anger that he didn't come with us - that if he'd tried a bit harder he would've got his visa sorted in time. Trying to keep a relationship going over Skype isn't easy...and sometimes he misses the calls as he's been out. Which also builds up resentment in me because I don't get to go out. Ok - whinge over :-) I don't think you are whinging. I would feel exactly the same as you. Hopefully when your husband joins you in March it will all fall into place. Good Luck Penny x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest edwardsfamily Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 i watched this episode...both the original one and the revisited. it was obvious this couple had issues to start with. We have been through this process for 3 years now just to get a visa...and boy, if anything can put your relationship under strain, its this! And thats without the actual move which is happening as we speak. i have every confidence we will be one of the happy and lucky ones who it works out for, but who knows....watch this space Good luck and hope everything works out soon for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burchos Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 i watched this episode...both the original one and the revisited.it was obvious this couple had issues to start with. We have been through this process for 3 years now just to get a visa...and boy, if anything can put your relationship under strain, its this! And thats without the actual move which is happening as we speak. i have every confidence we will be one of the happy and lucky ones who it works out for, but who knows....watch this space Good luck and hope everything works out soon for you all. Congratulations and good luck with your move. I know what you mean about the visa application process putting your relationship under a lot of strain. I think my husband is ready to throttle me - I am a wreck and driving everyone mad. My husband can just switch off from it all, but me, it takes over. I really need to calm down and concentrate on the life we have here now, but it's hard when I am so nervous and excited at the same time. I am what you might say "high maintenance", but have a good heart. Penny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menlow4 Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Coming to Australia has definately brought me and my husband closer together. I do totally agree with the other thread that said that there is no support network around you so you rely on each other more. The move either way can put a huge strain on any relationship but as long as you have lots of conversations and are open about things and each person in the relationship knows exactly what the other one wants then things should be ok. Best of luck to everyone thinking of moving to Oz or back to the Uk. Try to remember though that a country is just a place. It is not going to be a magical cure for relationship problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickyb Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I've been here 14 weeks on Friday , left mrs b with baby , house sale to complete , financial loose ends to tie up and numerous other jobs .we missed Christmas , new year , our wedding anniversary and valentines day together . So I've saved a packet ! We've chatted quite often on phone and emails but I think she's felt the strain a lot more . Especially having a new baby to cope with and extra pressure of trying to sort visa , but she was lucky to move in with her sister and friends and family helped , which then made it worse as she got a support network she became dependent on and had a brief spell of not wanting to come . But she's over that now and we're to be reunited Friday morn ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.