Guest bernie Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 :cry:We were going to emigrate to NZ before we went on a rekkie and decided on OZ. At the time we told people that we were going to check it out to emigrate. When we got back we were amazed at how people just seemed to back off and drop us! It was very upsetting. I wondered if any one else has gone through this, let me know and make me feel better and not all alone!! At least we know WHO our friends are now, but since we have had to stay put for a while it has been really hard. Now we are worried about telling anyone incase they back off and that is hard too! Bernie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DALE&JO Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Hi Guys, True Friends will be there you what ever your decision but most people you have in your life may be sad to see you both leaving. Or they may simply be selfish but enjoy the journey you will meet new Friends I'm sure. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonseywife Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Hi Bernie We had exactly this when we moved from London down to the south coast a few years back !!!!!!! One of my good fiends (or i thought she was) who I knew since I was four, did'nt like that we were moving away and we have gradually lost touch, (she never returned phones call /cards/letters etc.) and another friend blanked me completely when we moved and her OH confessed to my OH recently, that she had never forgiven me for moving away !!!!!!!!! It upset me at the time, but now I see it as a totally selfish outlook and from there perspective only!!!!!! And now were moving to OZ, our remaining mates are dead chuffed for us but its my parents that are ignoring it & us (which upsets me more because of my kids !!!!) I think people take this sort of news in funny ways........... either really pleased for you or they try to blank it out compltely !!!!!!!!!!! Its their way of dealing with it. So your not alone Bernie...................... Probably like us, there comes a time in your life when you have to put yourself first and do these crazy things before its too late ! Your true friends will be pleased for you and come and visit too! I Wish you luck & hope your big adventure goes well ........ :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scarletfever Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I honestly can't believe that anyone would wanna lose touch with you Sally! And I'm being honest for once!!! :twitcy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonseywife Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I honestly can't believe that anyone would wanna lose touch with you Sally! And I'm being honest for once!!! :twitcy: Mmmmmmm......... :skeptical: !!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I sometimes think it can be a bit of the green eyed monster, and sometimes it can be that the other person can't handle it - denial can be a good defence for a while. Like Sally said, the ones who are true friends will be happy for you (despite their own sadness of your moving away) and will make the effort to keep in touch. Good Luck Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Don't bother me i aint got none anyway!!!!!!! Mr KP Nut. Cept you lot of course. i hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest michele'n'michael Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 :cry:We were going to emigrate to NZ before we went on a rekkie and decided on OZ. At the time we told people that we were going to check it out to emigrate. When we got back we were amazed at how people just seemed to back off and drop us! It was very upsetting. I wondered if any one else has gone through this, let me know and make me feel better and not all alone!! At least we know WHO our friends are now, but since we have had to stay put for a while it has been really hard. Now we are worried about telling anyone incase they back off and that is hard too! Bernie God what a load of losesrs. Some friends eh!! I think sometimes people only are there when you're failing It's definately a touch of the green eyed monster & i think some people just wish they had the balls to go for it One of my dreads would be if we hated Oz came back & we had the "well I told you so" Buy a dog it's far more loyal!!:idea: Michele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alfixie Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 You are not alone on this one, but my attitude is I'm probably not going to see them when we have gone so at least I know before we go what friends will be keeping in touch. All the best and try to be strong. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynandsean Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Same for us too Bernie so you are definately not alone. Our closest friends for over 25 yrs (since childhood for my husband) more or less dropped us like a stone when we spoke about it last year. Tried to put it down to the fact that the lady who had been more like a mum to my OH's mate moved to Oz a couple of years ago and has struggled to settle. Soon as we mentioned the word 'Australia' he went 'into one' about it - you'll get skin cancer, eaten by sharks, killed by jellyfish, it'll be too hot etc etc! Have called to visit a couple of times like we always used too but we end up wanting to have a row with them each time so have decided best to stay away - they only live a couple of miles away, and hope that things settle before we go. Like to think that just maybe he feels like Oz is claiming his best friend along with his semi adoptive mum/auntie. It does make you very sad and also very angry at times and we in truth dont know what to do for the best. My dad has also started doing the 'sulk' thing. Bl**dy nerve really as he's not been around for me or my sis over the last 20 years, not since he gained a new family complete with jealous step mum and step sister. That l can deal with but the friend issue is very hard. wish you well Bernie and to any others having to deal with the same situations too. Lyn xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest carmen Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 hi Bernie, we Are Having The Same Kind Of Problems, But With My In-laws, We Tried Almost 3 Years Ago, To Start The Ball Rolling With An Agent, Only To Have All The Tears And Sob Stories... We Love You, We Don't Want You To Go, It Will Kill Us, What Shall We Do When Your Gone ... Etc Etc Etc. Within About Half Hour, We Had Changed Our Minds, Telling Ourselves, We Could'nt Do It To Them. Things Went Back To Normal, But I Could Never For Give Them,(i Believe They Where Only Thinking Of Theirselves). I Have Been With My Husband For 22 Yrs, And Can Remember When We First Met (when I Was 15) They Were Talking About Moving Over Seas Themselves ,but Have Never Looked Into Doing Anything About It. They Have Lots Of Family Here In England, Also A Son (my Husband) And A Daughter, So They Would'nt Be On Their Own. well 10 Months Ago, We Finally Got An Agent, To Start The Ball Rolling,( All Hush Hush ) And I Am Happy To Say, We Have Our Pr Visas, We Have Been Very Good Not To Hide Anything From Them, Thats When They Have Tried To Listen, But Things Have'nt Really Changed, They Don't Even Know Where We Are Heading Too, Only That Its Perth, We Have Now Given Up Trying To Talk To Them Altogether, Sad I Know, And Really Do Think, Talking About Things Would Have Helped, But Hey, On A Positve Note, At Least My Parents And Family Have Given Us Their Full Support. so Think Positive Bernie, We Have, And It Will All Come Good In The End, We Can't Wait. good Luck. x Carmen X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernie Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Ahhhhhh, thanks so much for all your messages, it has really cheered me up and made me feel a whole lot better! I have had a good chuckle.... Keep them coming. Think so many valid points. People often take offence that you are leaving (selfish I guess), others jealous that you are a risk taker, family - well that's another story. When we went to look at NZ my inlaws never mentioned it again!! All you want to to is talk about it and you can't :arghh:.Very frustrating. That's why PIOZ is great as we can get it all off our chests! Just thinking that going to Oz can be a good fresh start and make new friends, it's like being in limbo at the moment because you don't want to commit long term to anything. Looking forward to start a fresh. Good luck also to those who have gone or are going through similar things. Other people don't live YOUR LIFE EVERYDAY. You have to do what's best for you and your immediate family. Firstly because not all of them will be alive in ten/twenty years time and you will be sitting there wishing you could go and you can't! Bernie :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabroom Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 hi Bernie, we Are Having The Same Kind Of Problems, But With My In-laws, We Tried Almost 3 Years Ago, To Start The Ball Rolling With An Agent, Only To Have All The Tears And Sob Stories... We Love You, We Don't Want You To Go, It Will Kill Us, What Shall We Do When Your Gone ... Etc Etc Etc. Within About Half Hour, We Had Changed Our Minds, Telling Ourselves, We Could'nt Do It To Them. Things Went Back To Normal, But I Could Never For Give Them,(i Believe They Where Only Thinking Of Theirselves). I Have Been With My Husband For 22 Yrs, And Can Remember When We First Met (when I Was 15) They Were Talking About Moving Over Seas Themselves ,but Have Never Looked Into Doing Anything About It. They Have Lots Of Family Here In England, Also A Son (my Husband) And A Daughter, So They Would'nt Be On Their Own. well 10 Months Ago, We Finally Got An Agent, To Start The Ball Rolling,( All Hush Hush ) And I Am Happy To Say, We Have Our Pr Visas, We Have Been Very Good Not To Hide Anything From Them, Thats When They Have Tried To Listen, But Things Have'nt Really Changed, They Don't Even Know Where We Are Heading Too, Only That Its Perth, We Have Now Given Up Trying To Talk To Them Altogether, Sad I Know, And Really Do Think, Talking About Things Would Have Helped, But Hey, On A Positve Note, At Least My Parents And Family Have Given Us Their Full Support. so Think Positive Bernie, We Have, And It Will All Come Good In The End, We Can't Wait. good Luck. x Carmen X Hi Carmen Your post sounds like something I could've written as my OH parents are behaving exactly the same way, same initial reaction in March and have not mentioned it since. My parents on the other hand have been brilliant but that's how I knew they would be as they wouldn't make things even harder for me. Wendyx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest silverstargazer38 Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 hi my so called best friend who ive known for 30 years, suddernly became sarcastic and a right b***ch, not so friendly, i had massive row with her, so ive fell out with her, about 3 weeks ago, and this for me makes it easier to emigrate. Oh well funny how people react:twitcy: Well i suppose got my own life to live and who knows might meet some new friends out there. LIFE BEGINS AT 40 comes to mind:wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Macd Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 True friends will be there for you and in time family will come round, you've gotta do whats right for you, living your life for family and friends will only bring resentment at what might have been. Tracey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheTaylors Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Hi - glad to know it's not just us then!! We have kept it quite quiet from a lot of people and just told really close friends and family but the ones we are having problems with is family! My brother and my OH's two sisters are all becoming very distant. It is really upsetting and hurts but it kind of makes you want to go even more in a sense as we are not seeing them anyway!! ho hum.... Em x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonseywife Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 surely a little emotion off someone isnt too much to ask! We'll all miss ya Chelle............... we'll even miss Gav too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cry::cry::cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scarletfever Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 but u will already be in oz waiting for me lol!!! I'll be here Chelle!!! Not too sure if thats a good thing actually....:huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Bernie, People behave in strange ways when they are about to lose someone close to them but I'm sure all will work out well in the end and only True Friends are worth anything anyway here's a little poem, I hope you like it:- I'm miles away and I think of you still. You're deep in my heart. You'll stay there, you will. I'll never forget the times that we had. The heartfelt discussions. The good and the bad. I'll never forget the confusion I felt, The day I told you our friendship may melt. I'm moving away I told you that day. Being with you is a part of the past. These words that I speak may be our last. You reached out your hand and opened your heart And whispered in my ear, "This is only the start." A friendship like ours, no matter who goes away can only get better. Not crumble.. Not stray.. If two people were better for each other than us God kept them for himself. And that is a must. For you are my best friend. And I am yours, too. We're stuck to each other. Just me and just you. .......... So there you are sweet eh!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I could very well be wrong here (i was wrong once before in 1970 i think it was) but i think this is a female issue. I have seen a lot some of me misses's friends seemed a bit lke what has been described here but my advice is with friend it is very much quality and not quantity. i can honesty say that i can count my true friends on one hand (ok 2, just trying to make you feel better) but sometimes i dont see them for years on end and when we meet up its like we have never been apart and in times of trouble i know it take just a phone call and they will dig me out of whatever brown smelly stuff i have managed to get myself in. I will probably get ostracized for saying this but the male camaraderie and bonds that exist between male mates (in a non homosexual way) are so much betterer than what you girlies have. :twitcy: (my get out of jail free card) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alfixie Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I Know A Bloke Who Once Said I Don't Want Loads Of Friends They Only Let You Down (at The Time I Thought You Miserable So And So) But As Time Has Gone In My Life He Was Prob Right!! I Think Aldo Has Also Hit The Nail On The Head You Only Have Very Few True Friends And You Know They Will Do Anything For You . Unfortunately Maybe Thats Life We All Lead Busy Lives And Our Own Famalies Have To Come First. Lets Hope You Make Lots Of New Lovely Friends In Oz!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 You're probably right Aldo, We girlies invest alot of emotions into all our relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernie Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Thanks for the poem! Nice if I could read it to someone!!!!! Only joking. Think women do probaby get emotionally attatched more (?) correct me if I am wrong boys. I guess we are all moving to the other side of the WORLD!!!!!!! What do we expect, people must just feel like "will I ever see them again" and they may feel unimportant to us as why would we leave them. Not everyone would understand if 1. they love england to bits and 2. have never wanted to emigrate 3. trying to do something for the next generation and give them a better life. Someone said to me once (a proper friend!) that you could end up staying put for friends and then they all end up moving away with jobs etc anyway and you are left behind with distant dreams of emigrating. Would they hesitate if they had the opportunity to go? Bernie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynandsean Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I could very well be wrong here (i was wrong once before in 1970 i think it was) but i think this is a female issue. I have seen a lot some of me misses's friends seemed a bit lke what has been described here but my advice is with friend it is very much quality and not quantity. i can honesty say that i can count my true friends on one hand (ok 2, just trying to make you feel better) but sometimes i dont see them for years on end and when we meet up its like we have never been apart and in times of trouble i know it take just a phone call and they will dig me out of whatever brown smelly stuff i have managed to get myself in. I will probably get ostracized for saying this but the male camaraderie and bonds that exist between male mates (in a non homosexual way) are so much betterer than what you girlies have. :twitcy: (my get out of jail free card) Sadly Aldo, our friend is a male and he has been a complete %^&* head to my hubbie. l feel so hurt for my OH that his closest friend is treating him this way and they will probably part company for good now. Even his missus is ashamed of him, says its got nothing to do with jealousy, he just thinks we are stupid, haven't given it any thought etc :wideeyed: Thats life l guess! :sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Someone said to me once (a proper friend!) that you could end up staying put for friends and then they all end up moving away with jobs etc anyway and you are left behind with distant dreams of emigrating. Would they hesitate if they had the opportunity to go? Bernie No they wouldn't people do what is right for them at the time, so you must do what is right for you too! Bottom line is if your True Friends then the friendship will remain no matter where in the world you are. Be Happy p.s. sorry abt the poem, get a little sentimental sometimes, or mental!!! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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