so why do it

[Guest sh7t man no way]

move back to the uk--you worked hard for your visas,turned yourlives upside down--said goodbyes to loved one,and no doubt gone through the emotional ringer--so my question is what was it about australia that didnt work for you. im a great believer in that if somthings not working you change it,and im so proud that you have the courage to do this (not many people have)--any input you have may save like minded people who are just starting out on there journey to australia the experiences you went through--australia is not perfect-- so why:wubclub:hopefully this thread will be a good sounding board to help people:wubclub:

[pablo]

Sausage quality inferior in oz? thats one reason ive heard al.:wink:

From what ive read the main reason is missing family/freinds,something yer cant really gauge untill your there i suppose?

Jan seems to be pretty certain she wont suffer from this,im not so sure she wont tho if im honest.

[Guest June Pixie]

Yep, missing family and friends. But mostly family coz I ain't got many friends. Friends are over-rated!!

[Guest sh7t man no way]

Sausage quality inferior in oz? thats one reason ive heard al.:wink:

From what ive read the main reason is missing family/freinds,something yer cant really gauge untill your there i suppose?

Jan seems to be pretty certain she wont suffer from this,im not so sure she wont tho if im honest.

thanks pabs--good info as usuall:notworthy:i fugure at this present time its employement over there,or the lack of it--plus the house prices are crazy man

[pablo]

Yep, missing family and friends. But mostly family coz I ain't got many friends. Friends are over-rated!!

 

Is that you looking like a "sort" with jonathan ross in your avatar june?heres a smilie for yer,i know yer love them!:wubclub::wink:

[pablo]

C'mon dawny,i can see yer!:biggrin:What was it for you? because you were really keen before you went,a bit like jan is,im a bit(lot tbh)more cynical than jan tho,i DO worry that she thinks oz is the answer to everything sometimes,but maybe i should give her credit and assume she's thought about what COULD go wrong,i hope!

[Dawny]

Our return was simply down to the unhappiness of our children, and the fact that they just couldn't settle, tears almost every night, and i mean the gut retching sobs, with hard breathing, just couldn't stand what was happening to them, Their whole attitude changed so much, and it was awful to see, As a family we really love Australia, but sadly not to live at this time, Children only have one childhood, and i wanted them to remember a happy one rather than one they hated!

We try not to think of the money and stress that we went through, Only try to remember why we did it, My only regret was selling the house, i so wish we hadn't, but hey ho you live and learn, My kids are now back to their happy selves, back with friends and their family, so life really couldn't be any better, So just for that i know we have made the right choice by returning! :jiggy:

[pablo]

You came back for the best of reasons then Dawny:wubclub:

Maybe when the kids are older? eitherway your happy,thats all that matters

[Guest June Pixie]

A young Jonathan Ross maybe! I'm Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan.

I need to arrange a 'Not Sure If Australia Is For Me' meet.

[Dawny]

You came back for the best of reasons then Dawny:wubclub:

Maybe when the kids are older? eitherway your happy,thats all that matters

 

Thanks Pablo, not everyone understands our reasons for returning, as they have said you shouldn't let your kids rule your life, but i can't be that selfish, their needs come first, More so when you saw them in the playground never being included at play time and just being left on the sidelines alone, and looking at their little faces, Thats not what a childhood should be like, i spent all day worrying about them, :sad:

[pablo]

A young Jonathan Ross maybe! I'm Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan.

I need to arrange a 'Not Sure If Australia Is For Me' meet.

 

Well yer look like a right ticket in that gear,love all that tho:wink:

 

"Not sure if oz is for me thread",maybe june,not a bad idea tbh,the "unsure/apprehensive thread"?

Im "hoping" we will like it a bit more than the uk june,pretty limited expectations tbh.

Sure we loved it when we validated,but no bills,no work to go to etc,big diff from "living" there eh?

[Guest June Pixie]

Yeah Pabs and considering our monthly mortgage here is a weeks rental in a shabby tin shack in Adelaide (supposedly the least expensive place to live in the whole of Oz) I reckon I'd rather be poor here in Newcastle.

[pablo]

Thanks Pablo, not everyone understands our reasons for returning, as they have said you shouldn't let your kids rule your life, but i can't be that selfish, their needs come first, More so when you saw them in the playground never being included at play time and just being left on the sidelines alone, and looking at their little faces, Thats not what a childhood should be like, i spent all day worrying about them, :sad:

I havnt been lucky enuf to have kids dawny,misscarriages an all that,but balls to everyone else understanding your reasons for coming back!

NOTHING to do with them mate,your content and happy,and more to the point....your kids are.

It must have wrecked your head seeing your kids upset,AND probably blaming yourself for that(even tho it WASNT your fault),nah,you've done right in my eyes(FWIW):wink:

[pablo]

Yeah Pabs and considering our monthly mortgage here is a weeks rental in a shabby tin shack in Adelaide (supposedly the least expensive place to live in the whole of Oz) I reckon I'd rather be poor here in Newcastle.

 

Yeah i know J,i feel like that sometimes,i wish i was as confident as some people are that oz is gonna be great,but i cant,wish i could tho,im just an arl cynic tbh.

Cheaper than SA?,tasmania J,lovely looking place,and cooler!(im not a sunlover btw),but maybe not enuf nitelife stuff like that for you?(from what i read anyway)

[Sherbetdip23]

Our return was simply down to the unhappiness of our children, and the fact that they just couldn't settle, tears almost every night, and i mean the gut retching sobs, with hard breathing, just couldn't stand what was happening to them, Their whole attitude changed so much, and it was awful to see, As a family we really love Australia, but sadly not to live at this time, Children only have one childhood, and i wanted them to remember a happy one rather than one they hated!

We try not to think of the money and stress that we went through, Only try to remember why we did it, My only regret was selling the house, i so wish we hadn't, but hey ho you live and learn, My kids are now back to their happy selves, back with friends and their family, so life really couldn't be any better, So just for that i know we have made the right choice by returning! :jiggy:

 

Hi Dawny - thanks for sharing your story - how old were your children when you were out there? Which part did you go to and for how long did you stay. Hope you don't mind the questions :chatterbox: Glad to hear they are happy now.

[Dawny]

Hi Dawny - thanks for sharing your story - how old were your children when you were out there? Which part did you go to and for how long did you stay. Hope you don't mind the questions :chatterbox: Glad to hear they are happy now.

Hi the kids were 6, 8 (9) and 11 (12) years old when we went out, the two eldest had their next birthdays there, To be honest it was the eldest one we thought we would have troubles with settling, but she was fine, it was the other two lol, typical,

We were there just under 4 months, i know not long at all, but long enough to know it wouldn't work, think we knew within the first two months, but stuck with it all the same, we went to the central coast nsw x

[arlene]

I can really undertand your situation Dawny, we loved Australia but various family deaths and illnesses made us reassess our priorities sunshine or family, My 11 year old at the time also was very unhappy and wanted to go home to Scotland, he used to play outside so much more in the uk and struggled to make friends in Oz. Unless you ahve actually lived in Oz and experienced the problems that can happen it is impossible to understand why people would leave Austalia and return to the UK. We always said we would go for a year( more because i was worried about leaving family) but in actual fact I underestimated just how much I love having grandparents and cousins etc in my childrens lives. We have been back for 4 years now and went back last year to validate our visa just to keep our options open. the strange thing is that now i finally feel settled living back in the Uk there is so much more I really appreciate about being here. I will always have a soft spot for Oz though and never say never! I do laugh to myself when people go on about the UK weather and why we should leave, before we went to Oz I used to think the same but now I know that it is not important there are so many more imporntant things in life. I remember before we went thinking it would be brilliant never to defrost a windscreen again now it just doesnot matter in fact I loved the snow last winter my children had brilliant fun and I didn't give a toss about defrosting the car because the most important things in my life were around me.

[Sherbetdip23]

Ah thanks Dawny - our girls are 8 and 7 at the moment and we probably be 9 and 8 by the time we get our visas. they are keen to get out there after we spent two months out there on a reccie earlier this year so fingers crossed they will love it. I do worry though!

[Dawny]

Ah thanks Dawny - our girls are 8 and 7 at the moment and we probably be 9 and 8 by the time we get our visas. they are keen to get out there after we spent two months out there on a reccie earlier this year so fingers crossed they will love it. I do worry though!

Thats really good if they can't wait to get out there, im sure you will have no problems, Kids can be so unpredictable at times! I sometimes wish we had done a reccie first, At least you are reading why people have returned back to the uk and their reasons for doing so, that way you will be prepared for anything, strangely we never read the returning to the uk posts before we went, maybe if we had we would have been more prepared for any challenge that may have been thrown at us! Wishing you all the very best but im sure you wont need it!

Dawn x xx :wubclub:

[Petals]

Its interesting Dawny how you want to protect your children and make their lives happy. Not a criticism I have done the same but now that mine are grown I question myself.

 

You see I was a migrant as a child and an only child at that. It was difficult and hard. I had to go to boarding school at 11 and had to go on a train on my own over two hundred miles to be met by strangers. This was hard.

 

However I grew up to be very self sufficient, I never missed my Mum and Dad once I was older or my other family. In fact I probably was and maybe still am quite selfish.

 

I have bemoaned about this a lot but if I am honest it made me a very strong person and able to cope with most things and very independent.

 

Now we come to the next generation, my children who I protect from all this stuff and do not move and have cossited in a way, its made them different and not so independent. My daughter still lives with us, I know she has been ill but she does not seem to have that drive I had or my brother has who came along a lot later, we both had the drive.

 

So for parents looking back we need to love our children but try not to stifle them and be all things to them, they have to learn to take the hard knocks. Wish I had taken my advice with my two in the formative years.

[Guest famousfive]

We have not left Aus yet but plan on doing so in about 6mths,having been here 21mths so far.My OH is an aussie and we had been here before, as had the kids when they were younger.Our reasons for returning home are simple and yet complex at the same time,if that makes sense.For us to continue living here we have to change so much we would no longer be ourselves,and funnily enough we were all quite happy with who we were before coming here but not so happy with who we have become.Financially it has been hard,we live in a regional area where wages are low,and yes,we could live better here if we chase the specials and buy in bulk etc..but we would not be happy with such a struggle elsewhere so why be happy with it here.Just because you have to live like that does not mean you have to be happy with it,you should always look for ways to improve your life and not just get used to the things you are unhappy with because it's how those around you live too.It may be the way here but it is not for me.Some have suggested we move to the city for better wages but we have no intention of living in a city,no matter where in the world it is.

 

Our kids have settled well and have lots of friends,they worked hard to make this happen and I am amazed at how well they have coped.Having said that,they do not want to stay forever and miss home a lot.They have also given up a lot to live here and do not find their lives here as good.Education has been a let down for us,our kids are way ahead of their peers and seem to be expected to dumb down rather than having their appetite for learning nourished and encouraged.

 

As I said,simple yet complex.We actually like it here a lot but find the sacrifices we make daily to live here are way higher than what we gain.We as a family felt our lives were more fullfilling at home in Ireland and if we return to even half the life we had before we will be streets ahead.

[ajs604]

I think it must be really hard for people moving to a different country and starting fresh! Its one thing having the beautiful scenary, milder winters and hot days but when periods of stress occur thats when you realise how important family and friends are.

 

I miss my firends mostly. I was never too close to my family although they are still important - to me. A good firend is someone you can pick up the phone and chatter away for hours about nothing important and someone who is always there when you need them. I have friends here in Aus - but no where near as good as any friends I had in the UK. I have come to a realisation that friendship takes years to build and evolve. However, what i would say is that I have good days and bad days - but most of my days are getting better and better. It is a huge transition moving to a different country and I can appreciate how difficult people find it.

 

I myself have been very lucky and met my partner since being here and made some good friends. my life is here now. I stay in contact with old friends - and will visit them one day!

 

Good luck to anyone moving here - just remember time is a great healer - and things do get better!

[Guest sh7t man no way]

thanks for you replys guys-it seems family,and personnell contentment play a major roll in the decision making of returning to the uk--im sure any decision to return to the uk did not come easy,but im glad things are working out--you only have one life,and you must be as happy as you can be--again thankyou for your replys i hope your experiences are of help to people, who have not travelled your path:wubclub:

[Guest siamsusie]

An amazing thread Alan,

 

So lovely to see some realistic balanced points of views without the constant one upmanship!!

 

I will always maintain that Dawny and FamousFive are wonderful examples of how to turn things around quickly, intelligently and efficently.

I think you girls are a credit to the forum:hug:

[Guest guest37336]

Hi Alan.

 

As you will know I have made the 'Big Move' several times, more than I care to remember. Whilst Australia offers me much more in terms of contentment, fulfillment and a sense of 'belonging' the pull of family is still HUGE. Australia will NEVER be able to fill the void within me that screams out to be with family.

 

You would have thought I had got used to it by now, but no way, I still miss my parents, brothers etc when I am in Australia. It is something I have learned to live with, almost, but still find myself on many an occasion curling up in a ball and refusing to acknowledge that I am many thousands of miles away from my family.

 

I love the UK, I really do, but over time I have felt a little 'disjointed' and 'disconnected' from the people of this country. Australia has been good and bad to me, there is no denying that fact, as has the UK. But when all is said and done, and no matter how much I love Australia and the Aussies there will always be a little part of me that wants my family around me.

 

To live on the other side of the world (if you have a close family) is enormously difficult, I often read the heartbreaking stories on here of how people are missing their loved ones, and my heart sinks.

 

The pain (yes it is a pain like no other) is intangible in the extreme. Anyone who says 'Harden Up', or 'Get On With It', have either a very hard outlook or they are not particularly close to their family, or much more importantly never felt the gut wrenching sickness in the pit of their stomach that extreme homesickness can bring, IMO anyway.

 

Cheers Tony.:wink: