Guest sunnyday Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 move back to the uk--you worked hard for your visas,turned yourlives upside down--said goodbyes to loved one,and no doubt gone through the emotional ringer--so my question is what was it about australia that didnt work for you. im a great believer in that if somthings not working you change it,and im so proud that you have the courage to do this (not many people have)--any input you have may save like minded people who are just starting out on there journey to australia the experiences you went through--australia is not perfect-- so why:wubclub:hopefully this thread will be a good sounding board to help people:wubclub: We haven't been here long but we decided before we embarked on our journey that we wanted to come here for the experience and we'd give it our best go. We also decided that if it didn't work for us we would go back, I'm certainly not going to torture any of us if we're not happy :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 We haven't been here long but we decided before we embarked on our journey that we wanted to come here for the experience and we'd give it our best go. We also decided that if it didn't work for us we would go back, I'm certainly not going to torture any of us if we're not happy :wubclub:excellent attitude sunnyday--i would imagine theres a great deal of pressure to make australia your home when you arrive:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 We simply didn't like it, we didn't return for family or friends we just couldn't contemplate spending the rest of our lives there. There are many things we didn't like about Australia despite m husband being Australian and us spending lots of holidays there in the past. The problem is of course if you are asked the question about what we didnt like then we run the risk of being negative and unhelpful to those that are contemplating moving. This is of course ridiculous because everyone has different opinions andlikes different things. Lots of people do return for famiy and friends but some return because 'shock horror' they actually prefer the UK. Once again good luck to those going to Oz & those it doesn't suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 We simply didn't like it, we didn't return for family or friends we just couldn't contemplate spending the rest of our lives there. There are many things we didn't like about Australia despite m husband being Australian and us spending lots of holidays there in the past. The problem is of course if you are asked the question about what we didnt like then we run the risk of being negative and unhelpful to those that are contemplating moving. This is of course ridiculous because everyone has different opinions andlikes different things. Once again good luck to those going to Oz & those it doesn't suit. Forgive me if I am wrong but I am sure I read a post in the last couple of days where it said you loved it in UK but your husband did not. Not that it makes any difference just the perspective of everyone being honky dory on return. Lots of people do return for famiy and friends but some return because 'shock horror' they actually prefer the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 Like Dawny we returned fairly quickly and essentially it was the combination of lack of jobs and the unhappiness of our children. We had been to Oz before and thought long and hard about the possibility of getting a visa with a view to giving our children a better quality of life (yeah that old chesnut!). And it is this over which we stumbled. Our children did make the best of the situation they were in but honestly when we talked very carefully about the possibility of a return, man that was like walking on eggshells, the sheer relief on their faces was gut wrenching. I hope this doesn't sound like a moral high ground cos it really isn't meant to be but our kids are the only reason we went, and what the experience helped us to do is identify what we consider to be quality of life for us. Australia's gift is that we know what that is and are now enjoying our lives with renewed vigour and greater insight. It isn't that we didn't want them to suffer any discomfort, far from it as we are firm believers in 'knocking on with it' as a parenting style, it seems evasive to say it just wasn't right but that is the only descriptor I can use. Do I wish we hadn't gone - no. Do I advise anyone else not to proceed with emigration - no, far from it. You cannot predict how the family as a unit will react; we just made our decision for the benefit of the unit. I don't know if this is of any benefit Alan but it does help to write about it as it is an really emotional experience whilst it is all going on, hindsight and reflection helps to make sense of it. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 We simply didn't like it, we didn't return for family or friends we just couldn't contemplate spending the rest of our lives there. There are many things we didn't like about Australia despite m husband being Australian and us spending lots of holidays there in the past. The problem is of course if you are asked the question about what we didnt like then we run the risk of being negative and unhelpful to those that are contemplating moving. This is of course ridiculous because everyone has different opinions andlikes different things. Lots of people do return for famiy and friends but some return because 'shock horror' they actually prefer the UK. Once again good luck to those going to Oz & those it doesn't suit. I am so pleased you have settled back again Connie... and lets face it the UK is a gorgeous country. I am sure just by looking at your family's faces you will have realised you and your husband have made the right decision, and basically thats all that matters. :wubclub:Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 move back to the uk--you worked hard for your visas,turned yourlives upside down--said goodbyes to loved one,and no doubt gone through the emotional ringer--so my question is what was it about australia that didnt work for you. im a great believer in that if somthings not working you change it,and im so proud that you have the courage to do this (not many people have)--any input you have may save like minded people who are just starting out on there journey to australia the experiences you went through--australia is not perfect-- so why:wubclub:hopefully this thread will be a good sounding board to help people:wubclub: After seeing the messages on this site for many years the reasons that people love and live in Australia and the ones who go back home seems to be down to many different factors in different peoples lives. I think that if you dont do it you will never know ...however you also have to know the other side of the coin too and that is why this site is so good for people who are coming to Australia to know its not that easy to just say well if it doesnt work out we can always go back home ...as that is not always the case. In my case my UK EX hubby hates Australia he (missed the UK , his mates, the pubs, his other half of the family, the lifestyle, less expensive) the list goes on ... hence he made our lives a misery (through drinking himself into a depression) here yet he has some family here who he will never leave now (as he lives with them and they look after him like a baby ).......so now me and my son are stuck here too.......so you never know how things will go till you get here...but just beware as the good old saying of well if it doesnt work out we can always go back home ...may not always be the case. We still had our house back in the UK too............this was 7 years ago and we are still here ...not through choice......however its not the worst place in the world to get stuck either ...but would love to be home still in the UK lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Forgive me if I am wrong but I am sure I read a post in the last couple of days where it said you loved it in UK but your husband did not. Not that it makes any difference just the perspective of everyone being honky dory on return. Sorry Petals, don't know where you read that but wasn't from me, my husband loves the UK he has no regrets at all...he says he feels back in the real world. Everything really is hunky dorey:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest martinandmanda Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 My reason is very simple, I miss my family especially my grandchildren so so much. I knew I would miss them but after getting here I felt as though someone had died and I was grieving! A reccie would have done no good at all, I was fine in Hong Kong and Sydney on my way out to Mornington, but once i had reached my final destination I fell apart! This was it, life without my beautiful grandchildren! What was the point of beaches and a beautiful coastline when I cannot just pick them up and take them for a day out. What was the point of working for those extra pounds when I had no one to spend it on, what was the point of anything here without my beautiful grandchildren? I knew i would miss them all but once here I felt as though my heart was going to break! I was literally sobbing and being sick in the main street at the thought that im not going to see them for months or years. I know that a reccie to me would have been a holiday and i would have thort, yea i can do this, yea its beautiful, yea work seems nice, because a reccie means that you are going home and you cannot imagine what it is going to be like until it's for real, but once here living it for real I couldnt do it. Im going home now 4th October and cant wait. Only got here 22nd August but I knew from the moment I did get here that I would not cope. I had strangers hugging me in a chip shop and giving me their email addresses to contact them because I looked and felt so bad! It does not make it any easier when you have grown children, mine are 26, 24 and 21 and believe me how I have wanted to hug and kiss them is unbelievable yet back home me and my daughter fight like mad! Now my plan is to go home and help my daughter with the babies. She wants to study and hopefully one day I can convince her that Oz is a beautiful place and to try it with me (hope to god that my boys dont have any kids just yet) If I have my 2 beautiful grandchildren with me, to share the magnificent scenery, to take the parks, to teach to swim then im a very happy woman but without them the sunshine has gone out of my life. IM GOING HOME TO GET THE SUNSHINE BACK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Forgive me if I am wrong but I am sure I read a post in the last couple of days where it said you loved it in UK but your husband did not. Not that it makes any difference just the perspective of everyone being honky dory on return. Sorry Petals, don't know where you read that but wasn't from me, my husband loves the UK he has no regrets at all...he says he feels back in the real world. Everything really is hunky dorey:jiggy: Sorry about that I do recall it was probably another with an Aus husband now. :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 My reason is very simple, I miss my family especially my grandchildren so so much. I knew I would miss them but after getting here I felt as though someone had died and I was grieving! A reccie would have done no good at all, I was fine in Hong Kong and Sydney on my way out to Mornington, but once i had reached my final destination I fell apart! This was it, life without my beautiful grandchildren! What was the point of beaches and a beautiful coastline when I cannot just pick them up and take them for a day out. What was the point of working for those extra pounds when I had no one to spend it on, what was the point of anything here without my beautiful grandchildren? I knew i would miss them all but once here I felt as though my heart was going to break! I was literally sobbing and being sick in the main street at the thought that im not going to see them for months or years. I know that a reccie to me would have been a holiday and i would have thort, yea i can do this, yea its beautiful, yea work seems nice, because a reccie means that you are going home and you cannot imagine what it is going to be like until it's for real, but once here living it for real I couldnt do it. Im going home now 4th October and cant wait. Only got here 22nd August but I knew from the moment I did get here that I would not cope. I had strangers hugging me in a chip shop and giving me their email addresses to contact them because I looked and felt so bad! It does not make it any easier when you have grown children, mine are 26, 24 and 21 and believe me how I have wanted to hug and kiss them is unbelievable yet back home me and my daughter fight like mad! Now my plan is to go home and help my daughter with the babies. She wants to study and hopefully one day I can convince her that Oz is a beautiful place and to try it with me (hope to god that my boys dont have any kids just yet) If I have my 2 beautiful grandchildren with me, to share the magnificent scenery, to take the parks, to teach to swim then im a very happy woman but without them the sunshine has gone out of my life. IM GOING HOME TO GET THE SUNSHINE BACK! im a granparent to,and sympathise with you,my granchild (3) lives in brisbane with my daughter (who is expecting our second granchild in 3 weeks) so i understand your emotions-im living back in the uk at the moment because we have a son here who is getting married,and is having problems with his health--we wont be able to be in australia for the birth of our second grandchild,and it breaks my heart to think about it--familys are so important,and its only when there not close you realise this--australia has given her a wonderfull life, but my only complainmet is its not a 1 hour drive away from where im living in the uk--i suppose im being selfish but cant help me self:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 im a granparent to,and sympathise with you,my granchild (3) lives in brisbane with my daughter (who is expecting our second granchild in 3 weeks) so i understand your emotions-im living back in the uk at the moment because we have a son here who is getting married,and is having problems with his health--we wont be able to be in australia for the birth of our second grandchild,and it breaks my heart to think about it--familys are so important,and its only when there not close you realise this--australia has given her a wonderfull life, but my only complainmet is its not a 1 hour drive away from where im living in the uk--i suppose im being selfish but cant help me self:wubclub: Hi Al and chin up mate, i am sure you will visit them again soon and its something fantastic to look forward to, a new baby. Helen and i say that we dread it happening to us, one kid living here and one in Australia and it does concern us that this might happen if we emigrate. Anyone coming back, best of luck, you have tried it and its not for everyone, and remember this............. you are lucky to have the choice of living in 2 of the best countries in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 move back to the uk--you worked hard for your visas,turned yourlives upside down--said goodbyes to loved one,and no doubt gone through the emotional ringer--so my question is what was it about australia that didnt work for you. im a great believer in that if somthings not working you change it,and im so proud that you have the courage to do this (not many people have)--any input you have may save like minded people who are just starting out on there journey to australia the experiences you went through--australia is not perfect-- so why:wubclub:hopefully this thread will be a good sounding board to help people:wubclub: I just never felt any connection with Oz. I never felt like I belonged there and was always conscious of being an 'outsider.' Maybe that would have come with time, but I was conscious of the weeks and months slipping past and ended up becoming fearful that I'd never see my family and friends again. I found Christmas's to be non-events without family and friends to celebrate with and missing my Dad's 75th birthday (save for a SKYPE call) was very tough. What exacerbated things was that my partner and her friends and family expected me to embrace the differences and assimilate easily into Gold Coast life. When I didn't, it lead to some walls going up on both sides. Her F&F referred to me as a "Little Englander," "Miserable Pom" etc. I suspect that that was their frustration and disbelief coming through, but it caused me to retreat even further from them and actively avoid social situations. Of course that was the slippery slope, I ended up spending more time alone and my partner got increasingly peeved with me for being more than a little self-pitying. It's very easy to get yourself into a situation like that, but hard to pull yourself out of that nose-dive. I'm not sure what the answer is, but the more adaptable you are then the better your chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellasdaddy Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 Pablo you sound like my husband Hes always saying have you thought about if you dont like it I tell him i will then i continue on to do the running man so that he gets annoyed and stops nagging me Lol I cant wait i best like it now were tied in for 6 years :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 Sorry about that I do recall it was probably another with an Aus husband now. :notworthy: No problem at all:spinny: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Devon Lass Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Dawny so happy and delighted for you that it has all worked out and you have gone home. Children has such short lived childhoods these days and you were absoluately right to put their happiness first . They will want to look back with fond memories and happy smiles not sobbing into their pillows bless them - good on you girl for making that leap . I wish you and your family all the very best Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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