Guest NicolaRoss Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 We have been back in oz around 12 months, my aussie husband and our 4 yr old son. We have been living in a country town in nsw, my husbands home town. Since I moved over I have thought we have made a mistake as I missed home, my friends etc.e have fallen on our feet here, I have a great job here (better than I left in the UK) and a lovely big house but always felt like it wasn't enough and the pull of home would always be there. My husband has not been happy being back, he lived in the uk with me for 5 years and has said that he wants to return to the UK. We booked our flights back a week ago, as I said that I could no longer live in limbo with our life on hold, not getting attached to anyone or anything because I would have to leave it, and if my hubby doesn't want to be here what is the point, its him i moved for. Our boy is due to start school in september and i dont want him to have to join late which has brought our decision forward. The night we booked our flights I was so over the moon, it felt like a huge relief, however a couple of days later reality hit, and i just feel so sad about it. I am looking round at everything that i am going to miss, and am in tears all the time. I just dont know whether we are doing the right thing. I have handed my resignation in at work, which I am gutted about as I love my job here. I am so lucky, I have a job to go back to in the UK and our house as we rented it, but can't help thinking did we give up too soon??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 It's probably more like grief for the loss of a dream than anything else. I think you can over-think what will and will not happen - add to that a bit of fear of the unknown and of course your emotions will be running riot. Hope it all works out for you and your experience here will stand you in good stead for a better job in UK in due course. Good luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 We have been back in oz around 12 months, my aussie husband and our 4 yr old son. We have been living in a country town in nsw, my husbands home town. Since I moved over I have thought we have made a mistake as I missed home, my friends etc.e have fallen on our feet here, I have a great job here (better than I left in the UK) and a lovely big house but always felt like it wasn't enough and the pull of home would always be there. My husband has not been happy being back, he lived in the uk with me for 5 years and has said that he wants to return to the UK. We booked our flights back a week ago, as I said that I could no longer live in limbo with our life on hold, not getting attached to anyone or anything because I would have to leave it, and if my hubby doesn't want to be here what is the point, its him i moved for. Our boy is due to start school in september and i dont want him to have to join late which has brought our decision forward. The night we booked our flights I was so over the moon, it felt like a huge relief, however a couple of days later reality hit, and i just feel so sad about it. I am looking round at everything that i am going to miss, and am in tears all the time. I just dont know whether we are doing the right thing. I have handed my resignation in at work, which I am gutted about as I love my job here. I am so lucky, I have a job to go back to in the UK and our house as we rented it, but can't help thinking did we give up too soon??? Oh Nicola -how awful for you I really feel for you-as you know you and I ae in the same boat in terms of Aussie husbands and going back to to similar area etc. I cannot answer if you are going back too soon as I'm not sure what has made you come to this decision- was it just (although I'm not trivialising it) homesickness-and when you look around at what you will miss is it just a big house. We are going home because there is nothing particularly that we like about Australia- nothing that we have jelled with, nothing that makes us feel comfortable. Yes we miss friends in the UK but it's as much about not wanting to be here. We had a beautiful big old house in England that we have now lost but I don't really care- I have absolutely no desire to have one here. I've never felt more patriotic in m life and a yearning to be British (although I always will be whereever I live of course)We know our life is in the UK- but it may be different for you Nerves are understandable but if you look around and realise that it is your life here you will miss-perhaps you need to talk to your OH. Your son is still young enough to not be affected to much if you pingpong back here. Sorry not much help I really hope you work things out and wish you all the best:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Charnels Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 We have been back in oz around 12 months, my aussie husband and our 4 yr old son. We have been living in a country town in nsw, my husbands home town. Since I moved over I have thought we have made a mistake as I missed home, my friends etc.e have fallen on our feet here, I have a great job here (better than I left in the UK) and a lovely big house but always felt like it wasn't enough and the pull of home would always be there. My husband has not been happy being back, he lived in the uk with me for 5 years and has said that he wants to return to the UK. We booked our flights back a week ago, as I said that I could no longer live in limbo with our life on hold, not getting attached to anyone or anything because I would have to leave it, and if my hubby doesn't want to be here what is the point, its him i moved for. Our boy is due to start school in september and i dont want him to have to join late which has brought our decision forward. The night we booked our flights I was so over the moon, it felt like a huge relief, however a couple of days later reality hit, and i just feel so sad about it. I am looking round at everything that i am going to miss, and am in tears all the time. I just dont know whether we are doing the right thing. I have handed my resignation in at work, which I am gutted about as I love my job here. I am so lucky, I have a job to go back to in the UK and our house as we rented it, but can't help thinking did we give up too soon??? You will miss things here but when you get back, you will realise how much you like about the UK. You are going back at a great time of year. Nothing is forever. My boys are in their third school and they are only 8 and 10, but they are happy, funny, balanced and make friends wherever they go. Once they start a senior school, I would be less likely to keep moving, but at this age, they are fine. You are lucky that you have the choice of both places, you have tried both and you still have options in the future to live in either place. While I am back in Oz now, and not that happy here at the moment, I will make the best of it as I know it is good for my boys and I am probably just missing the great times I had back in the UK. This is just another chapter. Good luck going back and I hope it all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Liverbird5 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Hi Nicola I will be going through the same emotions in January when we leave to go back after 7 years away from the UK (5 in NZ and 2 here). I am going to start a 'little notebook' to take with me that have the answers to the thoughts that will come to me if things get a bit rough, eg. 'I miss the weather - the sun is great but it wont replace the real friends I can make in the Uk, the way of life and the feeling of belonging I missed for 7 years' etc etc. I will put every conceivable argument that I may have while I am here because when you are not here you think it is something it really isnt. I am also going to put in examples to remind me of that exact moment so that it feels real. I am doing this because I know in my heart the UK is where I want to be and I dont want to make the mistake of coming back perm. I will though, allow myself to know I can come back on holiday. It's hard when you see the sun every morning and know you are going back to probably dark mornings and dull skies. The trick is to realise the great things here make you kick back so much it feels like retirement when you're not 60 and that it's a holiday place not a home. (my feelings not everyone else's). I think that why so many of us question ourselves - seeing the sun every morning - we know its a great feeling when you get up. I guess is about realising that you cant have everything. The ideal situation as someone has already suggested is 6m here and 6m in the UK. If you have the money why not? I love NZ more as it's not as hot so will try to go back once a year. But I love the way of life in the UK and that cant be replaced. Also being considered a non-resident is something I dont like and who knows how the laws may be changed in the future. The thoughts like ' its great to see the sun every morning' has kept me out of the UK for 7 years but the empty feeling has never gone and I do not have close family or friends there - just the way of life and the attitude I miss so much. Never underestimate the feeling of belonging. My older son did the essay for his HSC this year (like so many in NSW) and he asked for some pointers - well that hit it home for me. I think my notebook will be invaluable, together with settling in a different place than where I was before. A girl at work just had a horrific accident - a tree fell on her car as she was taking her children to the doctor. She is now a quadraplegic and may not survive. She is a wonderful person, lovely husband and parents, 25 acres nort-west sydney, beautiful home etc. but as this shows, one minute you have it all, next minute life can be very different. You can only do what you feel is right at that moment in time. This may change in time for you but then you make another decision that is right for you then etc. Take care - remember you can always come back for a holiday and then decide again laterX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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