rockola57 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Hiya,is there anyone else who left a relatively good life in the UK,to come here to OZ for their Kids sake,as we all know what it is turning into,and also have a relatively good life here.Still have their property back home,miss the familiarity,BUTalso don't want to leave their job here in OZ!That's where we are at now,nine months in.My wife has a great job here,and i love my job,she wants to go home as the kids do also(teenagers).I don't and think we should give it the proverbial 2 years at least.Is anyone else facing similar family strife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Nothing really magical about the 2 year thing and if you have teenagers then sometimes you have to make decisions much quicker than that if you dont want to screw up their education prospects. Looks like you are outnumbered - I hope that if you go back you will be the bigger person and not be like some folk have reported and nag away if anything goes even slightly awry that "it wouldnt have been like this if you had stayed in Australia" blah blah blah. There's no accounting for tastes and it sounds like this isnt to the taste of the rest of your family. You can rest easy on the better life for the kids thing too - Australia is no guarantee of that! Different, for sure, but in the longer term, being at the centre of things in UK/Europe will offer a much more diverse range of options for them - that's why so many Aussie kids head off just as soon as they can! Some of them dont bother to come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marriedtoanaussie Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 we-hubby, me and 3 young kids, are turning round after only 5 months-we came for our kids future etc but dont think there are the opportunities here. Its just too isolating (Aussie hubby agrees)Beaches and bbqs are very nice but in England we could get the train to Paris in a matter of hours. We too desperately miss our loved ones-sisters just had her first baby, gutted I missed it. We too left our house in Uk rented out which we loved. The difference with us is that here in Oz we are not established yet (ie. no steady jobs, staying in rented accom) which after two years we may have been and that would have made the move back harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest homeiswheretheheartis Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I don't know how you stand employmentwise but before going back 'home' I would maybe give another area a try. As we all know Oz is a massive country and varies vastly in the kind of experience you can have depending on where you are. I love in Brisbane but have travelled a bit and would live in Mooloolaba - amazing vibe and great beaches - the teenagers may appreciate the surfy types and you can appreciate the beaches and cafe life. OR I would go to Forster in NSW, again, lots of beach types but with lakes and National Parks on you door step. Alternatively, I would head to Tasmania, Hobart and get in with the 'city' crowd while being able to hit beautiful beaches and stunning mountains all in the matter of hours. If you can, maybe research another place before turning you back on here. I am stuck in Brisbane for now due to employment but given the choice I know there are so many better places out there... Good luck - have fun researching together maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I agree that there's nothing magical about the 2 year thing and to be honest I think that stems from the fact that after 2 years, you used to be able to apply for citizenship, so that if you returned to the UK you had some security for returning. I think people in general were thinking that if their children wanted to return at a later date. Now you have to wait 4 years for citizenship ... it's a long time to be unhappy in my opinion if you really don't feel that you've been able to settle and want to return to the UK. We had a comfortable life in the UK, we're lucky that our life here is equally as comfortable and that we've settled ... I know some people don't and there's no advantages to be gained by those people beating themselves up thinking they've done something wrong, should have tried harder, gone to more bbq's etc. The way you feel is the way you feel ... no right or wrong ... it's important to look at all your options and do what feels best for you and the family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest twilighter Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Hi we are having all the same doubts, but the problem is my daughter is in yr 11 and feel it best if we stay till at least she's finished her HSCs, we came here in oct 08 but were broke into after 2 wks my daughter saw him and still has trouble sleeping, also my partner and I hate our jobs or rather the people!! I have just left mine, but ironically my partner is about to go for an interview for a major company with excellent prospects so we are all over the place with what to do, I am struggling to find a job that fits in etc, so things have been tight, we still have our house in uk and will go back to it next nov but really want to go now its such a pull but should stick it out, I cant suggest anything other than follow your heart, or at least wait and see, good luck either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julesbazz Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 for sure I am missing home really bad and so are the kids, we've got a home up for sale back home but are now a bit reluctant to sell as I really wanna go home. The only thing that keeps me going is that we are on a 457 visa and might go home in 4 yrs!! yay!! I've made sum good friends but I do hate this country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry all u oz lovers but day to day living is sheite!! What I wouldnt do to walk into a freindly pub boohoo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest twilighter Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 oh my god youve just reminded me of a pub! life, soul and fun and fish and chips!! etc etc sorry but I hate it too it feels totally lifeless here, but still glad we tried it, where abouts are you again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julesbazz Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Borin Borin Brisbane!! Brisbane People are so bloody rude, most of my friends are kiwi's! there's only so many barbies & parks u can go to, or are we winge"n poms and never happy!! I dont regret coming to realise how good the GB really is, I dont care who's bloody PM anymore, just let me go home The best thing about coming here is my lovely new puppy "DAVE"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Pleased that you have a few positives there Jules, hope you can bring Dave home with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Departing to live in Sydney 16 July - reading reviews like this has really made me have a more balanced view on expectations, there are a lot of people who find it isn't for them and believe you I have really taken my rosy glasses off! When did you guys first realise that Oz wasn't for you?? Was it a gut feeling within the first week? or something that kind of came aong a bit later, say after a few months?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockola57 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Our teenagers not settling,refusing to integrate and accept is what has done it for us,they blame us for "ruining their life"as they say,and let us know everyday,so the house is not a happy one.Should have come here 5-10 years ago,as theyd both left school when we got here.If we go back no doubt as soon as we are home theyll F O ,and leave us to regret ever returning to the UK,all that "what if,if only crap"to ponder over as we head for our box.WORRALIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Rokola57 - I'd say dont give in to teenage tantrums if YOU really want to stay, also what house is a happy one with Teenagers in it!? either way you need to think about yourself and your wants and needs as well... they will leave the nest at some point and if they decide to return to the UK thats up to them...how would you feel if you go back and they then get their own little explore/travel bug and decided Oz or wherever is where THEY want to be... if you would stay in Oz and it's only the KIDS that are making you go back then re-think.... I would give my right arm to be there right now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I thought you said your wife wanted to go home too. I'd be encouraging the kids to go home on their own if you BOTH dont want to go - one of mine went back to UK and is having a ball, wont be coming back here not for a very long time if ever. Let the kids go then you can do what you like as long as both of you agree that is what you BOTH want to do. Your wife may be more than happy to go home rather than end her days here in a state of extreme boredom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boomerangpommie Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 For me, one of the factors contributing to my decision to return to the UK was that my then 11/12 year old daughter was also really unhappy and not settling and said I had ruined her life etc and there was terrible friction in the home. We returned and she has gone to the secondary school she would have gone to had we not left and is with all her friends she's had since Reception (that has made her happier) etc, etc. BUT she still moans and huffs and puffs and stomps about and nothing is good enough and I'm still ruining her life and there is still friction in the home, just about different stuff now. She's my oldest so my first time at this teenager crack and I've come to conclude, that's teenagers for you!! It was all just starting up in Australia as she was at just at that age and having never really experienced it before, I thought it was BECAUSE of the move to Australia. Now I realise I just have to ride out these years until it ends (and try and keep my hands off her, lol) and it doesn't make any difference where we live. I want the best for my kids and I'm as wound up in guilt and anxiety as many of us are but they can't dictate to you and remember they have their youth and their whole lives ahead of them and plenty of time to find out what they want. You need to consider what you want as well and what opportunities are available to you, especially as you get older. And as I've said to my daughter when we discuss going back to Oz, it's all well and good that I need to consider how much it will break her heart now but when she's older and made her life etc, we (OH and I) still also need to be living a life that we will enjoy and be happy with. Not just lose our visa and be stuck in the UK so that she can get to do her A Levels with her mates (that's the knife she's twisting in my back at the moment). It's heart-breaking to see your children unhappy but maybe it's just something they need to work through and in the long-term, it will be ok. There are no guarantees in this world (I wish there were) but you've got to give it your best shot - I'm speaking with the benefit of hindsight here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockola57 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Yes Quoll,sorry to confuse,my wife now wants to go home because our sons want to,but she realises we are in a fortunate position here in OZ,so me and her are forever discussing what to do,whats best etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boomerangpommie Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It sounds like your wife is going through what I went through. It's so difficult, but I stand by what I said in my previous post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 The trick is to think forwards IMHO. Even if you are in paradise now think forwards 10 years, 20 years, just what do you think you will be wanting to do in your retirement? How many barbies can you have, will walking on a beach do it for you or will you want variety, history, a wide range of experiences? I always envisioned a retirement of seeing new places and new things that were so different from each other and reflecting thousands of years of human endeavour (aint going to happen in Australia that's for sure), of being able to get to see top quality international names do Shakespeare on the stage, to experience other cultures without spending a fortune and a day to get there, to delve into my own family history and learn about my own heritage, to get together with people who enjoy doing the things that I like doing and hopefully to laugh a lot (aint going to happen in Australia either if the past 30 years is anything to go by). If, like my DH, all you want to do is sit and watch your lettuces grow, to chop wood:arghh: and read books then you may just as well be in Brisbane as Bognor I suppose. It's all about what you want out of life not just today but years down the track. Retirement creeps up on you quite quickly once you are over 40! LOL BTW I was serious about sending the kids home - no doubt there will be a support network for them there and they can spread their wings and enjoy their lives doing what they want to do and experiencing their own futures. Many Aussie kids do it when they have left school and often dont want to return so let them have their adventure as well - they may decide they never want to come back here or they may decide that it is exotic and they do. Who knows. One of mine went with a one way ticket and came back after 7 months and went to live a self sufficient life in the bush (what a waste) and the other bought a return ticket but after 7 years hasnt used it and has a brilliant career and a varied and exciting lifestyle with a Londoner girlfriend - he wont be back for a very long time. Your kids do need to live their lives not your dreams and what you see as an opportunity may well feel like a prison to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dazla Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 we-hubby, me and 3 young kids, are turning round after only 5 months-we came for our kids future etc but dont think there are the opportunities here. Its just too isolating (Aussie hubby agrees)Beaches and bbqs are very nice but in England we could get the train to Paris in a matter of hours. We too desperately miss our loved ones-sisters just had her first baby, gutted I missed it.We too left our house in Uk rented out which we loved. The difference with us is that here in Oz we are not established yet (ie. no steady jobs, staying in rented accom) which after two years we may have been and that would have made the move back harder. Hi I'm also going back after 5 months, I too feel isolated and away from it all, I feel there's more going on in the UK Daz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dazla Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Departing to live in Sydney 16 July - reading reviews like this has really made me have a more balanced view on expectations, there are a lot of people who find it isn't for them and believe you I have really taken my rosy glasses off! When did you guys first realise that Oz wasn't for you?? Was it a gut feeling within the first week? or something that kind of came aong a bit later, say after a few months?? Hi I arrived in sydney in January and have just booked my flight home. I knew it wasn't for me after the first few weeks. I just felt deflated by it. I feel there is more 'life and soul' in the UK Daz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandramcd Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I always find these threads very interesting reading (thanks esp Quoll). We have been here for nearly 6 months and although the kids miss their friends, they have all settled and made new ones and we are all very happy here. We came here with a view to being here 5 years. My OH's long term job prospects aren't as good/exciting here as they might be in Europe or even the US, but he could potentially stay forever if he wanted to. As someone mentioned, the weather, beaches and bbqs are great but there is sometimes more to life. The schooling for our kids is also better here than our alternatives that we left, but that could all be different if we go back. My dilemma is that I don't want to let myself get too settled as the chances are that we will go back at some point, and we would need to time it so that we don't mess the kids around at a later stage. I would hate to stay so long that they were old enough to not come back with us!. Having said that, we'll probably go for citizenship (if we stay long enough) so that they have options later on. Sorry that is so jumbled! I might feel differently when we eventually get our own place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockola57 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 rokola57 - i'd say dont give in to teenage tantrums if you really want to stay, also what house is a happy one with teenagers in it!? Either way you need to think about yourself and your wants and needs as well... They will leave the nest at some point and if they decide to return to the uk thats up to them...how would you feel if you go back and they then get their own little explore/travel bug and decided oz or wherever is where they want to be... If you would stay in oz and it's only the kids that are making you go back then re-think.... I would give my right arm to be there right now....thanks toomers atb mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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