Guest Sammy G Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Hi everyone, It’s strange how I’ve reached out to PIO recently. I guess I’ve needed reassurance, advice, hearing other people’s stories and how they are coping. Some of you may remember my story. I met my Australian boyfriend 4 years ago here in Sydney, he moved back to the UK and we did the London thing for a year to gain our visa. After an emotional but exciting move to Sydney last January, I began my Australian life. I really did struggle with life here but gradually settled in and changed career completely. I thought my boyfriend and I were happy, just pacing along as you do. At this time, my beloved dad was sick and I had to rush home to be with him. He died 6 days later, right in front of my eyes but I was lucky that I was with him those last precious hours of his life. Feeling absolutely heartbroken, in shock but desperately trying to escape my reality and wanting to come back to Sydney. I watched my tearful mum waving me off as I went to the airport, I felt disgusted with myself that I should leave after such a horrid life changing event. But I had to get back to my sunny Sydney, my solace. I came back and my man and I broke up, it was predominately my decision but he agreed later that it was probably for the best. My state of mind was erratic to say the least. I had a terrible few months but gradually became stronger. The ex and I were chatting fairly regularly but I started to panic about my visa situation. Knowing that I wanted to stay in Sydney, I started to look into ways of doing just that (I’m a holder of a provisional Spouse visa at this time and have not reached the two year mark to be granted the permanent visa.) I went to see an Immigration advice place two months ago and she had told me that my current visa was expiring in June! I stupidly thought that it was expiring when I arrived in the country (January) and not when it was originally granted (June 07). I was so upset. I knew there wasn’t a chance that my current employer wouldn’t sponsor me. I then went for a job interview and they offered me the role but I had to come clean and confess that I didn’t have a valid visa after June. They said ok well how about we sponsor you! I was ecstatic but knew that once they saw how much it tied them to me, it would hinder my chances. So I did some research and sent if off to them. They had spoken to their head office and guess what; the boss said that infact sponsoring me was going to bind them too much. I was absolutely gutted. Not only was the job perfect but it meant I could stay here. Also, the department of immigration have put a hold on Business Visas due to the economic crisis. It was never going to be easy but it seems pretty hard right now to stay here in Australia. A lost cause. A lot of my friends have asked if my ex will lie for me, just to secure my permanent visa and I know for sure that he won’t, he has stated that clear since we broke up. Which in a way seems a little unfair? I did arrive in Sydney, with the intention that we’d live a life together; he needs to take some responsibility for that. All he said to me was ‘you need to home’ which is pretty hard. We aren’t even talking now; he thinks I need to move on as I asked him back! (and not for visa reasons either!) So his way of doing that is completely ignoring me, pretending that I don’t exist. So, I’ve accepted my fate and I’m going home in June. When I made that decision, the weight finally felt like it had been lifted. For the first time in 4 years, I have felt that emotionally and geographically I’ve been straddling both hemispheres and I’m so tired of it. I truly love Sydney but to think of home and all I gain from being there, far outweighs anything I have here. I love my lifestyle here, its centred around me (which sounds daft) but coming from London where its all boozing and trying all the time to see/please people. Living in Sydney has been a fresh approach for me BUT it’s not all bad, my sister is having a baby in July and I’m over the moon that I can be there for her-to be a full time aunty in the same country! Same town even. It’s a luxury I didn’t think I’d have earlier on in the year. The funny thing is, I’ve started dating a good friend of men who, guess what-is Australian! He is very different to my first Aussie man, so loving and down to earth, at total ease with my friends. He is applying for his Irish passport to have the option of coming over. I don’t know how I feel about this to be honest. Everyone has said ‘Just marry him’ but they obviously do not have a clue about the complex immigration policies. And you know, I want to go home and know that I’m staying for good (or a long while at least!) I don’t want to feel that burden of giving up their life to be with me, he claims that he’d be doing it for himself but…. I think it’s a case of just ‘playing it by here’ when I get home. I know the UK is in recession and I really felt the strain when I was at home for Christmas but the decision has been made for me, my time is up and I’m embracing it with open arms. Thanks for listening everyone and I hope this finds you all well. So few really understand what you go through, it’s wonderful to have this website and share. Sammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Wow I wish you all the Luck in the world.....this is a great site it is my sanity at times....I long to go home ( UK) so my situation is a little diffferent but have kids here to my x who is an aussie so I have at least 6 years left of my sentence !! lol but all the best and let us know how you go when you get home..... Singapore are offering really cheap flights at the moment !! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Good luck with the move back you've had an emotional time. I wouldn't be too hard on your ex for not telling a lie for you, he could get in a serious amount of trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyhus Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Hope it all goes well, enjoy the next few months while you are here. I bet your mum and sister are over the moon. i must say don't be too hard on ex for not lying, for ignoring yes lying no. Sometime us men don't know what to do so ignoring seems best to us!! Women are complicated to us at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 All the best with the next stage of your life Sammy! I hope it all works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yankee Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 First off, I am really sorry for the loss of your dad. You've been through a number of extreme situations in a very short time, so kudos for you not to shut down, but instead letting others in your life. That's not a given, you know! It's a very hard thing to do and very few people are strong enough to do that. I'd say go back home for now, be with your family - ease your mind and let them take care of you a bit. Rest! If and when your new BF joins you - but you'd probably need to set some clear guidelines, the both of you in regard to how you move forward. It's always a good idea to get stuff like that sorted out right away before big moves are made. Who knows, maybe one day in the near future you will return to Sydney, with a solid visa in hand and no more guilt hanging on your shoulders. I wish you the best of luck and many happy days to come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scamp1976 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 whatever you do : Don't MARRY !!... It will just end in tears... You don't need a marriage to stay together you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.