paulhug Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 I thought we might have a bit of a light hearted bank holiday weekend. I'll start with these. Why are boats better than women? 1. Boats last longer. 2. Boats don't have parents. 3. Boats never get headaches. 4. Boat's curves never sag. 5. Boats don't care if you have a beer while you ride them. 6. Boats never ask "Does this make me look fat?" 7. Your boat doesn't get mad at you if you look at other boats. 8. You don't have to deal with preachers and blood tests to register your boat. 9. If you say bad things to your boat you don't have to apologize before you ride it again. no offence meant to the women...... Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jaynie Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Paul, Boats don't do your washing Boats don't cook for you, Boats don't shop for you, Boats don't give birth to your children, Boats don't keep your house clean and most of all....... Boats don't give you comfort!!!!!!:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuju Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Paul, Boats don't do your washing Boats don't cook for you, Boats don't shop for you, Boats don't give birth to your children, Boats don't keep your house clean and most of all....... Boats don't give you comfort!!!!!!:biglaugh: :biglaugh: great stuff !!! ya get a hole in ya underpants & it gets stitched up ya get a hole in ya boat - ya gonna sink :biglaugh: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulhug Posted May 24, 2008 Author Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Girls Boats don't whine unless there is something seriously wrong! Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.......(not that i would know) If your boat doesn't look good you can always paint it or get better parts! But to stop this turning into a "boats v women" thread......... here's one for ya A man was trapped on a deserted island that was sinking into the sea. As the water lapped around his feet, a motor boat suddenly approached the island. "Come on, man, get in!" said the boatman. "No," said the guy on the island, "I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!" The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chest, another boat appeared. "Get in the boat, or you're going to drown!" said the boatman. Again, the guy said, "No, I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!" The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chin, a third boat appeared. "Get in, this is your last chance!" "No, Jesus will save me!" So the boat went off, the water continued to rise and the guy drowned. He went up to heaven and was greeted by Jesus. "Hey, Jesus," he said, "I trusted in you all my life and you let me drown! I don't believe it!" "YOU don't believe it?" Jesus said, "I sent three fu**ing boats to save you!!" Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jaynie Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Well that just proves that a Woman would have smacked him round the head told him off for being an arsehole and he would have been saved, after all Jesus was only a MAN!:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulhug Posted May 24, 2008 Author Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Paul, Boats don't do your washing Boats don't cook for you, Boats don't shop for you, Boats don't give birth to your children, Boats don't keep your house clean and most of all....... Boats don't give you comfort!!!!!!:biglaugh: All the difficult stuff then eh!!!!............lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest leanneandmark Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Theres a lot of 'other' things boats don't do.....but this is a family friendly forum!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Paul, Boats don't do your washing Boats don't cook for you, Boats don't shop for you, Boats don't give birth to your children, Boats don't keep your house clean and most of all....... Boats don't give you comfort!!!!!!:biglaugh: nor do the woman bar child birth? comfort??????? stress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 A British yacht with a British crew was on passage from Harwich to Bremerhaven. All was going well until the yacht was about 20 miles off the German coast. The stern gland suddenly fell out and water rushed in. The bilge pump and the Frightened Crew Bloke With A Bucket (better than any bilge pump, any day) were unable to keep on top of the water ingress. The skipper grabbed the hand-held VHF radio and shouted, "Mayday! Mayday! I'm sinking! I'm sinking!" There was a pause and then the radio crackled into life. The German Coastguard asked cautiously, "Vot are you sinking about, Sir?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Karen K Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Well that just proves that a Woman would have smacked him round the head told him off for being an arsehole and he would have been saved, after all Jesus was only a MAN!:biglaugh: You Rock Jaynie:biglaugh:so funny LOL xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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