paddy Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 We intially moved to adelaide in 2009 with my wife (who was pregnant) and 2 girls 2 and 4 at the time i found work straight away got a nice rental and settled into aussie life. We had our little aussie boy after 4 months and my OH found it very difficult looking after 2 young girls and a baby with no family to call on for help , i couldn't have much time off work as a new starter so was very hard. We had both sets of parent come out to see us which was great but devistating when they left, our australian friends were great (but didn't really realise until we had returned how great they were ) But one thing lead to another (2 grandparents and an uncle dying not helping the situation) and we returned to uk in 2011. I got same job back i had before leaving and slotted back into life with work friends, my OH has her mum and 2 sisters around her but friends she had before immigrating have moved on with there lives and she doesn't seem to fit in any more. We have a 176PR visa but was valid until july 2014 for travelling so we have applied for return visa which is now valid until march 2015, we talk aaalllooottt about australia if there is anything on tv about oz we are watching which seems to be very regularly. We are not in the best financial situation but we never are. So there we have it me my wife 2 girls now 7 and 9 and 1 aussie boy 4 do we stay or do we go, when every we talk about australia we get that warm feeling inside but if talk about not going back we both get that gutted feeling inside. :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Think a big heart to heart is needed here. Sit down and say , once and for all, should we go back ...and mean it. it not easy, I lost my dad, totally unexpectly after being here for only 22months. That was a wake up call for sure. But no way does it mean I need to live my life in the UK. My mum is not in great health, wish I could be there or her, but I also have hubby and daughters here in Perth to think off. so the best I can do is Skype, FB etc and plan a trip back next year. As for friends...of course they move on, just like you have. or not, I found when I met up with UK friends it was very much of a case that I had moved on, but they were still complaining of the same things, doing the same things, looking forward to the same things. Good luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I once lived overseas (not Australia) and *hated* it, spent majority of two years in tears every week at least, but you know what, I look back and think "oh it was not so bad really". Although it doesn't sound like you hated Australia, take care not to romanticise or gloss over the reasons you left, they were real at the time and could be real again. I sometimes think that if a family needs to go back to the UK to weather difficult times, then maybe that is where you belong. What if you have another difficult period, unemployment, illness or maybe another baby, will you want to go back to have your family help you through? I am not asking that to make you feel bad by the way, in fact I think you are very fortunate to have a close family and that they are there to support you. Decisions decisions. We are making one of our own right now, I know well how difficult it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 You'll get a range of replies. Some will say, "go for it", others will say, "but it didn't work before". I think you know now that both places have their pros and cons. The fact that you feel gutted at the thought of not returning to Australia, and the fact that you think about it all the time, says to me that you should start making plans to give it another go. It will be easier if you don't rely on family in the UK to help with child care, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I'm with Rupert. She speaks a lot of sense with regards to the reasons why you left last time and so on. Weigh it up carefully and see if you both truly feel able to cope out in Aus again without the family support and your young children. Of course, as the kids get older the dynamic changes and it may be you guys are coping well without the need for family support so much. There have been changes in Adelaide (and Aus in general I'd wager) since you left. Research carefully as you can the job market in your field should you decide to return. Not saying there is not work, but if you've got contacts in the industry, then perhaps use them to sound out work prospects and so on before you decide one way or the other. Also see what info your friends in Adelaide can give you on things. Personally, am enjoying Adelaide but I don't have to hit the job market here atm. I am working self employed for the most part so applying for jobs isn't something I've done since being here. Housing and all that is much the same. Lots of rentals around, lots of people wanting them but you can get one for sure. Also you'll have a good idea of where you want to settle so won't be faffing with working out suburbs and so on when you arrive (if you do return). Be aware of the rose tinted specs for sure. Sometimes second time round can be better, sometimes not. If you were happy in Aus in most resepects, chances are you will be again. If your return was driven mostly (or solely perhaps) by family bereavement and struggling to cope with a young family then hopefully you are in a better postion now with knowing how you'll cope in future and what it will take to make it stick and work for you in Aus. And to be prepared that you maybe won't be able to return to the UK in future if you would like, or will have to plan/save a bit more or it can't happen so quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 If your wife couldn't cope without her Mum and sisters then is she likely to now? I think you have to be a very tough cookie to say good bye to your close family ,some can some just can't. Good luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Do what you think is right for you. If you're not happy staying in Uk come back to Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest benidorm Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 We intially moved to adelaide in 2009 with my wife (who was pregnant) and 2 girls 2 and 4 at the time i found work straight away got a nice rental and settled into aussie life. We had our little aussie boy after 4 months and my OH found it very difficult looking after 2 young girls and a baby with no family to call on for help , i couldn't have much time off work as a new starter so was very hard. We had both sets of parent come out to see us which was great but devistating when they left, our australian friends were great (but didn't really realise until we had returned how great they were ) But one thing lead to another (2 grandparents and an uncle dying not helping the situation) and we returned to uk in 2011. I got same job back i had before leaving and slotted back into life with work friends, my OH has her mum and 2 sisters around her but friends she had before immigrating have moved on with there lives and she doesn't seem to fit in any more. We have a 176PR visa but was valid until july 2014 for travelling so we have applied for return visa which is now valid until march 2015, we talk aaalllooottt about australia if there is anything on tv about oz we are watching which seems to be very regularly. We are not in the best financial situation but we never are. So there we have it me my wife 2 girls now 7 and 9 and 1 aussie boy 4 do we stay or do we go, when every we talk about australia we get that warm feeling inside but if talk about not going back we both get that gutted feeling inside. :arghh: Exist in Blighty or live in Australia? No brainer really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 It's always the case that you compare the bad of the now with the good of the then which is always going to be an odious comparison, unfortunately. if you really want to go then start applying for jobs and only go if you get a better offer in your hand. If you don't get a better offer then it's not meant to be. Draw a line under it as an adventure and get on with living in the best country in the world. Oh and remember that most of what you see about Australia on the telly is fiction! Good luck with your decision! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 . Draw a line under it as an adventure and get on with living in the best country in the world. Oh and remember that most of what you see about Australia on the telly. Except it's not. Uk does not even make the top ten list for livability according to the HDI (Human debelopment index) produced by the UN. 1 Norway. 2 Australia. you could try Norway lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Except it's not. Uk does not even make the top ten list for livability according to the HDI (Human debelopment index) produced by the UN. 1 Norway. 2 Australia. you could try Norway lol. If that list was the be all and end all we'd all be moving to Norway then? Its far more subjective than that isn't it. We can't base moves off the back of studies or polls. They are broad generalisations. The OP needs to consider many personal reasons for a move back to Aus. If they feel its right for them, they'll get there I am sure Won't be because of a UN study. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I'm not replying to the OP though am I. I'm replying to the statement that Uk is the best country in the world when clearly it isn't. It's also ranked last in a European Quality of Life Index. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1219743/Britain-worst-place-live-Europe-despite-big-pay-packets.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I'm not replying to the OP though am I. I'm replying to the statement that Uk is the best country in the world when clearly it isn't. It's also ranked last in a European Quality of Life Index. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1219743/Britain-worst-place-live-Europe-despite-big-pay-packets.html To Quoll it is though That old taste is subjective thing again. And opinions and views will vary. Honestly, don't get so het up on it jase. Plus I really don't want the OP's thread to turn into an Aus v UK thing. As I said, the OP will find what place they feel is best for them. They've got a lot of soul searching to do and will no doubt find the answers there somewhere. I doubt one person's view on the UK or Aus is going to sway them either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 To Quoll it is though That old taste is subjective thing again. And opinions and views will vary. Honestly, don't get so het up on it jase. Plus I really don't want the OP's thread to turn into an Aus v UK thing. As I said, the OP will find what place they feel is best for them. They've got a lot of soul searching to do and will no doubt find the answers there somewhere. I doubt one person's view on the UK or Aus is going to sway them either tongue in cheek - any first world country is going to be just as good as any other first world country in the scheme of things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Sorry Quoll my apologies. The Uk is a first world country (for now hehe) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 But seriously if they feel gutted about not going back to Australia they should seriously consider it. And look if you're determined to make it work nothing's impossible. Good luck !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 But seriously if they feel gutted about not going back to Australia they should seriously consider it. And look if you're determined to make it work nothing's impossible. Good luck !!!! Yes and they left for good reasons too. The answer to where they should choose now is not related to anyone else's preference. You always say Australia just because it is your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Agreed its not an easy decision to make. A big move too either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zephyr Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 To the OP 1) Why do you want to go back- what is it that you are actually hoping for back in Oz? 2) Why do you want to leave the UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie Girl Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I would like to jump in with a different perspective. I made the move to Australia when pregnant, and being stuck at home after moving across the world and having a baby was really hard. I think moving with your youngest ready to start school will make a huge difference to your wife and it will be a totally different experience this time. We are back in Au with our youngest (and he will remain our youngest!) about to start kindergarten and I am much less worried about being away from friends and family. We've come for a 3-5 year period and I can handle it because I know I can get working soon and have more flexibility to get out, meet people and have fun. So if you can cope with the idea of being away from family for a few years then go for it. It doesn't have to be forever but come and get your citizenship if you can! I realized after going home there was no way I could live with the outcome of our PR expiring and all hope lost to live here again, especially with one child an Australian citizen. For me, being on our third time, this is the easiest it's been to adjust, am a bit people-sick but it almost feels like home, I know the good and bad, and am under no illusions. I think for your wife it will be VERY different this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 I would like to jump in with a different perspective. I made the move to Australia when pregnant, and being stuck at home after moving across the world and having a baby was really hard. I think moving with your youngest ready to start school will make a huge difference to your wife and it will be a totally different experience this time. We are back in Au with our youngest (and he will remain our youngest!) about to start kindergarten and I am much less worried about being away from friends and family. We've come for a 3-5 year period and I can handle it because I know I can get working soon and have more flexibility to get out, meet people and have fun. So if you can cope with the idea of being away from family for a few years then go for it. It doesn't have to be forever but come and get your citizenship if you can! I realized after going home there was no way I could live with the outcome of our PR expiring and all hope lost to live here again, especially with one child an Australian citizen. For me, being on our third time, this is the easiest it's been to adjust, am a bit people-sick but it almost feels like home, I know the good and bad, and am under no illusions. I think for your wife it will be VERY different this time. I think you have hit the nail right on the head I think it would be very different now our kids are older , also that feeling of loosing the chance to return to au is hard to live with especially after all we went through to get our pr visa in the first place thanks all for your veiws to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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