just wanted to say....

[thinker78]

thanks to all those who share their personal stories on here. it's good to know that i am not alone in my dilemma, and i do not have anyone to talk to about this as all my friends are either newly arrived, are australian, or are blinded by australia-itis back in the UK ie 'why would you leave blah blah'

 

some days i feel like i'm going crazy- there appears to be a strong feeling of resentment or some such for saying you are not happy here. only this week, as i have slowly told people about returning to the uk, it's like an invitation to criticise......I have only said good things about australia and we've had a great time, but the plain and simple fact is that it's too far away from my ageing parents at this point in time.

 

two uk friends- no kids- berated my choice despite both of them unwilling to leave their parents either....

 

two aussie friends- same thing- although both admitted that they returned down under from the uk to be near their parents!?

 

i know i don't have to justify any decisions but it's just unsettling......

 

on balance though, i did have one lovely email from an old friend offering help for our return......it meant so much in an ocean of negativity.

 

thanks all!

[Quoll]

Gee, I am sorry to hear you are swimming in a negative ocean! Maybe it's my age but those of my vintage are surprisingly very supportive and more than a little envious of my decision! (one of my mates lands today on her annual sanity hit and she always bemoans the fact that her husband won't stir out of the little NSW town they live in to go to the city, let alone to UK!)

 

If the 78 in your name has something to do with your birthdate you are around the age of my son who came to UK on a holiday - 12 yrs ago! I had lunch with him recently and we were talking about Aus and he said that he had no intention of returning - having lived in London and various other places in that time, Aus was just too "boring" and he has a better future here (wife, home, child on the way etc). So each to their own and I'm sure you will be fine! Sometimes it takes having been away to open your eyes to what you had all along! Your parents are very lucky that you are choosing to have them involved in their grand child's life! Unfortunately I'm likely to have grand kids on both sides of the world (and Skype doesn't cut it for me!) but thems the breaks!

 

One thing that both of my Aussie raised boys have said independently (and somewhat wistfully) was that although their childhoods were happy they had a real regret that our little family was so far away from extended family! (They both have partnered with girls from huge local extended family).

 

Good Luck!

[Rupert]

I find it more than a little odd that friends should have such strong opinions on where you should live. I have moved overseas and back three times now and at no point has any friend commented on the decisions we have made. Not commented on the quality of the decision I mean. I am a bit transient with friends I must admit, but if a friend was annoying me by second guessing my deliciousness, I would just be spending less time with them.

[Rupert]

My decisions! Not my deliciousness! Darn predictive text, but that is too funny to correct properly.

[Conniebygaslight]

 

My decisions! Not my deliciousness! Darn predictive text, but that is too funny to correct properly.

I may be wrong Rupert but in my experience it's often women who have closer and more open friendships than men or maybe we're more affected by their opinions. Like I say may be wrong just a thought. x

[Perthbum]

some are jealous you are returning as they would love to but cannot...ignore them

[Katie22]

Moving back after a long time here is unsettling and if you're like me there's a part of you that is scared of it not working out. Then you have friends, family, acquaintances, whoever questioning your choice and it makes you question yourself even though you know it's what you want to do. I suppose everybody is welcome to their opinions but that doesn't necessarily mean they're right nor that they are the experts on how you should live your life.

 

Keep focusing on being excited moving back to live near your family. It sounds as if you're very close to your parents and miss them dreadfully so relish the time that you will soon be able to spend with them and the time they will spend with your daughter. That is priceless and though lots of migrants can cope with separation there are a small proportion who find it just too hard. An english friend of mine has had both her parents and one brother die over the past 2 years, she has been here for 20 years and it made me think about all that time that she was away from them, wasted years really but there you go, that's the price you pay I suppose.

 

The first person I told when I'd decided to move back was a very close friend back in England. She was the one I was expecting to be over the moon but no, she said are you sure etc. etc. Boy did I feel deflated - talk about bursting your bubble! Then there was my close family who I expected to say what on earth are you doing but no, my sister said she thought I should have gone back years ago. Another interesting incident was hearing about an Australian moving to England and everyone was saying "that's so exciting, it'll be great etc" then me saying I'm going back to England to live the response was "what are you doing that for, you'll be back after 6 months". Mmmm, don't quite understand the difference there.

 

For me Australia is a fantastic destination for a holiday, in fact I read yesterday that it's one of the most popular destinations in the world for just that. However, living here is totally different. I'm one of the few who finds it just lacking something be it culture, history, tradition or whatever and I feel "empty" living here. I have half my family here and half in England so if I do settle back there I really look forward to the opportunity of coming back to Australia for a holiday and I know that will be when I will love it at its best.