Confused

[Curly1000]

Hi, I joined this website and have been reading posts as it makes me feel more sane. I moved back to london after less than a year in Perth, I intensely missed London while away, my partner on the other hand is in love with Perth. He got a FIFO job and as I hated my job I decided to come home rather than be really lonely in perth for 4 weeks at a time. Perth was quiet, beautiful but not a great social scene or cultural and had limited options, coming from london I struggled, especially with hating my job, I tried to apprieciate the moment but I think I didn't as much as I should, as I was too busy analysing my life and missing friends and family. So I came home last August, I love being back but my partner is still out there and I'm not sure what to do.

I could return and try it again, although my job opportunities are so limited as a children's nurse. I feel really bad making my partner come home and give up his Australian dream, he says he'll come home for me but i feel that's all as he just loves the lifestyle there. I was thinking maybe we could compromise and try Sydney but I know it would be for a few yrs not forever as I see myself growing old around my family and friends.

I love my job here but what oz taught me was I should work to live not live to work so I want a good balance which jobs in London don't do, they tend to want ur soul. I'm confused, he plans April as the return month, I'm just scared he will hate being back. Should I reconsider and head back out?

[jen85]

Can you go somewhere in the UK other than London so you have a better work life balance? Maybe a smaller city that still has the things you want without the pressure. You have made the move once now so you have already had the taste and either way it will be tough, someone has to give in relationships and it sounds like your partner is willing.

[Sammy1]

You also need to consider what would happen if you come back out and end up having children a couple of years down the track. You would not be able to move back to the UK with the children without your partners permission.

You yourself say you want to grow old with your friends and family in the UK around you. It is a really important scenario to consider. It is one that has caught many people out and caused much heartbreak. Do not move back to Oz purely for someone else, it won't work.

[Guest]

I think it says a lot about your partner in that he is prepared to return to the UK for you. If he is happy to do this, let him and see how things go. I'd not go back to Aus if you are going to be on your own for weeks at a time again and not able to get on top of settling in and feeling at home. I doubt those problems will change if he does FIFO still.

 

Give the UK a chance and see where you go together from there I reckon.

[Curly1000]

Thanks for ur reply, we have spoke a lot and He will come back early this year, he will give london a try but I suppose at the moment that's all that we can do, hope for the best. I know in my heart I want to stay in London so I hope he can be persuaded.

[Quoll]

You never know your luck! My Aussie husband loves Australia and said he would never live in UK - well, now he does and he appears to be having a good time! You can live on dreams unfortunately, pragmatism always wins the day. He's a good man to agree to move back to UK with you - many wouldn't! You'll just have to look for ways that he can get his lifestyle needs met where you are.

[starlight7]

If he still loved Australia despite a FIFO job he must be really keen on the place as I believe it is a very tough life. It is hard when you prefer different countries but I guess relationships are far more important than where you are living.