Last minute panic attack!

[Crisp]

Hi.

 

I tried to emigrate to Australia this week on my own but had a violent panic attack at the airport gate, so I couldn't fly. I'm now back home wondering what happened. Has anyone else suffered the same problem and how did you deal with it?

 

There is a slightly larger story to this, so here goes...

 

I have been to Australia a couple of time over the years and travelled around plus visited family. I loved it each time so decided to apply for the 175 skilled migration visa. I'm a software consultant. The trouble is if I were to migrate I would have to do it alone Over the years spent applying this worried me greatly.

 

My permanent residency visa came through a few months ago so I was planning to move this summer. Then my job required me to go to Australia for a new customer we had acquired over there. So I worked in Tasmania for a couple of weeks, then had a couple of meetings in Melbourne and finally went to Brisbane for a week to see my uncle. I loved it there as always. Tasmania is stunning, Melbourne I wasn't so keen on but I was only there for a day or so. So I can't give it a fair judgement. Brisbane was great! The weather, water sports, hiking etc... I had a great time and didn't want to come home.

 

When I got home I told my boss I was going to emigrate and handed in my resignation. Much to my surprise he asked me to continue working for him but from Australia. My uncle also offered me somewhere to live for 6 months. Brilliant I had everything sorted. I couldn't ask for an easier transition.

 

I sold my stuff and said good bye to my family and friends full of excitement! I wasn't nervous at all. A couple of days before I left I got very nervous, but I expected that. A friend took me to the airport, I checked in and had a stiff drink to calm my nerves.

 

When I sat at the gate I began to breath very quickly and shake uncontrollably. I alerted the airline staff so they sat me somewhere quieter. Unfortunately this didn't help. I got a lot worse. My muscles locked up and I couldn't move other than shake violently and uncontrollably. The staff managed to calm me down enough to stop me passing out but said I could not fly. They offered to put me up in a hotel and let me fly the following day. So I took them up on their offer. However the attack seemed to do some damage to my abdomen causing me a lot of pain. Long story short I ended up in hospital the following day where I was given some relaxing medication and told to go home and think about why I am making this move. Clearly something isn't right subconsciously. So that's where I am now.

 

The only rational concern I can put my finger on is that I will be working from home on my own in a country where I only know my uncle, who has he own life so won't be spending his time with me that much.

 

The whole episode was very unpleasant and I'm terrified it will happen if I try again.

 

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to find out what other people's thoughts were or if they had experienced anything similar themselves. Am I just a massive wimp!

 

Thanks

Chris

 

PS: The airline was Qantas. I was very impressed with their service and would highly recommend them.

[Guest]

This stands out to me

 

The only rational concern I can put my finger on is that I will be working from home on my own in a country where I only know my uncle, who has he own life so won't be spending his time with me that much.

I think you need to be very careful doing this sort of move with this kind of set up. Mainly as unless you ensure you are socially get out and about and make friends etc, you are going to be very isolated. Also, if your work with your employer in the UK come to an end, you'll have no network of contacts built up, no experience in the Aus workplace etc. So be sure you can balance it all and not let yourself stagnate or miss opportunities because you are working from home for a UK company. I've read good and not so good outcomes of this sort of situation.

 

You may well have strained some muscles when tensed up so the muscle relaxants will have helped. I think you can probably work through whatever caused the panic attack, you may not ever have another one, just needed to get it out of your system, who knows.

 

I think moving overseas on your own can be daunting. I've done it a few times. Its swings and roundabouts. I think if you are self sufficient, outgoing and so on, its very doable. If you are more introverted, shy and so on, harder.

 

I'd have a mull of it all, really see if its what you want once holiday mode appeal has worn off and try again.

[vickyplum]

Hi Chris

 

I can't start to even have the experience or knowledge to help you, but can tell you, No you are not being a wimp! You are taking a very big step and anyone would worried about doing the same thing, particularly alone/not knowing many people at the other end.

 

I am going to state the bleeding obvious: you need to look closely at why you are moving to Australia, what are you leaving behind and what you hope to gain. Look at all possible ways of meeting new people and not being isolated (as you say you will be working from home). Think about if you are ready to put yourself "out there" socially. If you go ahead with the move, give yourself a time frame of 6-12 months to assess if you think you are enjoying your new life. Would you be willing to look for other work if your current situation doesn't work out?

 

Don't think you will love it immediately - it's no longer a holiday, it will be your life. Or maybe you will love it immediately and that will be your answer!

 

You say you've been to Australia a few times before - so you know what to expect to a certain degree, but need to be realistic as to what will comprise your daily life.

 

But well done for making it happen and for being honest enough to post about your experience at the airport (and well done Qantas!).

[flybyknight]

poison pint, its usually the 10th one but i suppose it could be the first.

 

next time you have one to calm your nerves, make sure the pipes are clean

[Metoo]

Saying good bye to loved ones can have a profound affect on us. Can you ask a friend or close relative to fly with you and stay for maybe 3 weeks or so while you settle in?

 

Are you in general a nervous flyer? If so, could you try a cheap dometic flight and see how you handle that before splashing out on another expensive flight.

 

You say you loved Brisbane and didn't want to come home, maybe change your mindset, look upon it as a 6 month trial, after which you can say "great, I love it" and stay, or "I tried it, but its not for me" in which case you can come home.

 

Good luck, your life belongs to you, use it as you wish.

 

Metoo x

[FHGC2013]

Hi Chris,

 

I'm really sorry about your experience, as panic attacks are really scary and have nothing to do with being a wimp. If you are still intent on moving out there, then you most likely will be fearing another attack and that fear can make things worse. If so, the reason for the panic attack is not important at the specific time that you are having the attack, as you will be focusing on the more immediate need to breathe (!). Have you investigated techniques to control panic attacks and fear generally, which can be very useful in the moment? NLP (Neuro linguistic programming) and hypnotherapy are really useful tools ( anywhere between 2 to 6 sessions is typical for most problems) to help you control your nerves and fear and are well worth a go. You can find all sorts of therapists near where you live online. It would be sad if fear stopped you from enjoying the experience of living abroad and these techniques may also help you to get to grips with the deeper issues that motivated the attack in the first place. All the best.

[Crisp]

Thanks for all your replies. They are a real help.

 

I think my reasons for going are similar to a lot of expats. The better weather and economy. More opportunity and a lifestyle that suits me better than the cold TV dominated lifestyle of the UK. However, as MeeTo says, saying goodbye to friends and family is harder than you expect. I have a lot of friends here that I've know for over 15 years. They were really supportive after the panic attack. So I DO wonder if its right to give that up for a bit of sunshine, amongst other things. It may take years to find good friends again.

 

I am a fairly confident person and have travelled all over the world (I love flying btw, so it wasn't that). A few times on my own too. Making friends in hostels and on excursions is easy, but they are just that. Holiday friends.

 

It has also been suggested by a few friends as well as MeToo (no offense, I appreciate your suggestions) that I give it a 6 month trial, but a lot of expats including my uncle in Oz say that you have to commit to a year at the very least. Which I am inclined to agree with. Going for a short period seems like you are not taking it seriously and will treat it like a long holiday rather than a lifestyle change.

 

Thanks again for your feedback. Keep it coming. Its all very useful and reassuring.

[vickyplum]

I'm sure you've looked at other parts of this forum, but seems to me that opportunity/upwards economy are not reasons to move to Australia (any more!). But you have work, so there is opportunity of sorts, and you can always make your own opportunity too. Good luck with whatever you decide to do in the end - onwards and upwards!

 

 

 

Thanks for all your replies. They are a real help.

 

I think my reasons for going are similar to a lot of expats. The better weather and economy. More opportunity and a lifestyle that suits me better than the cold TV dominated lifestyle of the UK. However, as MeeTo says, saying goodbye to friends and family is harder than you expect. I have a lot of friends here that I've know for over 15 years. They were really supportive after the panic attack. So I DO wonder if its right to give that up for a bit of sunshine, amongst other things. It may take years to find good friends again.

 

I am a fairly confident person and have travelled all over the world (I love flying btw, so it wasn't that). A few times on my own too. Making friends in hostels and on excursions is easy, but they are just that. Holiday friends.

 

It has also been suggested by a few friends as well as MeToo (no offense, I appreciate your suggestions) that I give it a 6 month trial, but a lot of expats including my uncle in Oz say that you have to commit to a year at the very least. Which I am inclined to agree with. Going for a short period seems like you are not taking it seriously and will treat it like a long holiday rather than a lifestyle change.

 

Thanks again for your feedback. Keep it coming. Its all very useful and reassuring.

[Quoll]

Treat it like a holiday - much easier! There's nothing in the rule book that says it has to be forever. A holiday can be however long you choose it to be - it's the finality of the forever which is crippling IMHO. I dont know that I would see it as an ideal environment however - it's much easier to settle when you are in a workplace which offers you instant social connectivity. I'd hate to live with relatives too as a young person (heck, I hate living with relatives now I am an old codger) - you need to be out and doing.

 

There's nothing magical about Australia really, just another first world country so if youve been a telly goggler in UK chances are that you will be a telly goggler in Aus. If you're an outdoor person in UK then chances are you will be in Aus too. Only difference is that it will be new and exciting for a little while and you'll probably do more of the touristy stuff than you are inclined to do in your home town. Other alternative of course is to move within UK and see how you cope!