Tulip Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 What is it about big families! The competition! I'm flying on the 1st of July and because it was so short notice, my mum and I have been doing a couple of things together when we usually wouldn't. For example, we went to have tea in beautiful gardens last week, and on the 30th (the day before we fly) we're going out for breakfast and to a little car show nearby. I stupidly put this on the calender... 'Day out'. Well it hit the fan, I got home from a weekend away with hubby to see his family and what a contrast! My poor mum has been shouted at, slammed doors at, and told she is being unfair and favouring me because my sisters weren't invited. Let me just clarify here... my sisters are 24, with her own car, and two kids, and house. The other is 18 and is plenty spoiled when she goes out with my mum, which is far more often than me. Both of them acting like five year olds. The real getter? NEITHER of them have asked me to spend time with them before I go, so I know it's pure jealousy! I'm fuming that they could be so insensitive to my mum, who is already really upset about me leaving, and she is really poorly at the moment too, she cracked a rib coughing last week. So what do I do? Offer to go out with both of them next weekend with my sister's kids. The elder agrees (after pointing out that she will not apologise, how mature) and the other refuses. I am just speechless. Emigrating is SO much more complicated than it should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 IF the tantrums are because you are leaving then we should be sympathetic to our family's feelings, after all you are leaving, not everyone is excited. But if the tantrums are because Mummy isn't taking them out for a day, then tell them tough. They are adults, it's time to grow up. Harsh I know, but it's exactly how I would react if family members reacted that way due to a day out and they aren't getting money spent on them x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Do what you wish. Theyll get over it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 I would totally understand if they were upset because I'm leaving, but they're not, they have not once wanted to come out with me or asked what I'm doing, and when I did offer a day out with just us, one of them refuses! Total toys out of the pram scenario. If my mum didn't have to live with the tantrums I would do exactly as you suggest, sadly I can't as I don't want to leave the country with my mum sorting that lot out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I'm with Adonna on this one Tulip.Maybe they are stressing because the dynamics of your family are going to change.You're the oldest right?Maybe they're abit scared of what will happen when you have gone?Maybe they want to tell you they'll miss you alot but can't find the right words or time.Maybe emotions are running high with them and your Mum,but they will settle down of course.Obviously you have to set boundaries with their behaviour but really Tulip,when you've been in Oz for a while,and everything is quiet,its then that you might just wish you could sit down with a cuppa with them.I do agree though its really nice for you to spend quality time with your Mum hon,and I hope that you and your sisters also spend quality time together.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbsy Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Families. You can't live with 'em and you can't live without....hang, on. Just leave it at "you can't live with 'em" and move to Australia! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostgirl Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Sorry to hear about this nonsense!! I bet your mum has been talking a lot about how worried she is that you are going and that has probably started off the jealousy. I would calmly tell them you want to spend time alone with your mum before you go, and ask them to understand that it's just one day out & that if they want you can to something with them another day. For gods sake they are grown women!! I never argue with my mum, and a few days before I left for my WHV we bickered about really stupid things like what time I got my train to London to catch my flight, she started crying & it was really ridiculous and I know it was just because she was stressed about me going my dad told me she's been crying loads! I don't really understand because I've lived in a different country for the past 6 years!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 I definitely know where you're coming from about the little bickers GG, my mum and I have had moments like that and it never lasts, but she would never talk to me like I've been spoken to last night. Believe it or not I am the middle one, I'm 22! I have decided to just shun all negativity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickled Pink Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Oh Tulip, many of us can empathise... it sucks doesn't it? I had one family member that was a bit (well fairly actually) unreasonable... I think a fair part of that may have been jealousy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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